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59

You've come to the right place. The Bible explicitly allowed a man to have more than one wife. Exodus 21:10 talks about making sure the first wife still gets the same resources and attention now that she's not the only one. So yes, it was accepted in the times of Kings David and Solomon. Those kings are recorded as having quite a few wives (though ...


48

And the other critical caveat here: this is only if she wants him to marry her. If she'd rather never see him again, then the Torah never forces her into such a marriage. Additionally, if she wants a divorce, she is still entitled to one whenever she wants even after they wed. (Shulchan Aruch Even HaEzer 177:3) All I can say -- if this is a situation where ...


33

The Chinuch says (in 557) it's a deterrent. Knowing they'll have to marry their potential victims (and won't be allowed to divorce them, and have to support them, etc.), people won't rape. He adds (ibid.) that it's also a protection for the victim: once she's married she's unlikely to be raped again. (Numerous studies show that a woman who was raped is at ...


32

The Shulchan Aruch Even HaEzer 4:13 says that a ben or bat niddah is 'pagum' (defective). The Beit Shemuel, Chelkat Mechokek and Gra (the major commentaries there) all say that this does not exclude them from marrying a kohein.


25

For a good review of the significance of the wedding ring in Judaism, I recommend the section entitled "The Marriage Ring" of the book The Jewish Way in Love & Marriage, by R' Maurice Lamm. As R' Lamm explains, the technical purpose of the wedding ring is to serve as part of the binding transaction that establishes the marriage. While there's plenty of ...


24

As Rabbi Yissochar Frand concludes on his shiur on the subject, "as we say in the kashrut world ... it's not recommended." As Rabbi Rakeffet points out, just using the term in your native language makes a difference here. He mentions that when he first moved to Israel if someone called him a chamor ("donkey") he thought it was cute, but to a native speaker ...


24

Someone asked this of Rabbi Yaakov Hopfer, a major posek on these matters in Baltimore. He said without hesitation that it was permissible. His interpretation of the prohibition on "s'chok vekalut rosh" is "behavior that is suggestive or disinhibiting." I don't see a normal "I love you" as either of those.


24

From Rav Aviner's tshuvot (text) Wearing Wife's Jacket in the Cold Q: Is it permissible for a husband to wear his wife's jacket if he is cold, or is it forbidden on account of "Lo Yilbash" (the prohibition of cross-dressing)? And what about visa-versa? A: It is permissible, since the purpose is not to wear it but simply to warm up (Shut ...


19

Thank you and welcome to the site. We hope this is a theoretical question; however, Judaism covers the difficult cases too. First off, this isn't pleasant to bring up, but not all forms of rape would be of halachic consequence to the question at hand; but we'll assume here that this was conventional full penetration, which would present an issue. The Kohen ...


18

According to Even HoEzer 26:1 there is no need for a divorce when the relationship was not for the purpose of marriage.


18

The Gemara says in Kiddushin that it's derived from a verse "ותהי נדתה עליו" - that even when one is a Nidda, there still is "Haviya" (marriage). Therefore, Kiddushin by a nidda works. If so, there are no issues of Mamzeirus.


18

Short answer -- it's allowed. You'll find a discussion elsewhere on this site about if someone impregnated a woman, do we recommend that he marry her. Which implies that the rabbi can certainly do such a wedding. The discussion becomes a little more complicated if the pregnant fiancee was not Jewish at the time, and the rabbi now wants to convert her and ...


17

As @GershonGold said, an Orthodox rabbi would not approve your husband's conversion while he is still married to you, and he would not re-marry you afterward, because doing either of these would create an inter-marriage that is a violation of halacha. One possibility is Isaac's from the comments; he could look into Noachide options. Another is this: the ...


17

The latter. If it's called "marriage", it's beyond just what we want. Religion is about things greater than ourselves. Rabbi Haskel Lookstein has, for many years, taught a high school course on Jewish sexual ethics. A few years ago he asked his students how they felt about "spouse swapping", and they assumed that if no one was hurt and all were in agreement,...


17

Let's take your question a step farther: why get married at all? Why not just live with, and have relations with, whomever you like? No marriage means no difficulties in ending it. If you're hesitating at that -- if you think that the concept of "marriage" has some meaning and you're just questioning which type (civil or religious) -- then the first part ...


16

The mishna in Y'vamos (6:4) indicates that a widow is forbidden to a Kohein Gadol whether she was a widow only from erusin (when intimacy was still forbidden) or whether she was a widow even from nisu'in: כוהן גדול לא יישא את האלמנה--בין אלמנה מן האירוסין בין אלמנה מן הנשואין. This is quoted as halacha by the Rambam (Hil. Isurei Bi'ah 17:11): אלמנה ...


15

The Shulchan Aruch discusses this issue (Even HaEzer 76). In Seif 3, he comments regarding the standard onot as fixed by profession: בד"א, במי שגופו בריא ויכול לקיים העונה הקצובה לו, אבל מי שאינו בריא אינו חייב אלא לפי מה שאומדין אותו שיכול לקיים. ‏ In what situation do [the above times] apply? For someone who's body is healthy and is able to ...


15

From this Chabad article the restrictions on whom a Kohen can marry are: A kohen may not marry a ge’rusha (divorcee), chalalah (woman of defective kohen status), zonah (woman who previously violated certain sexual prohibitions), giyoret (convert) or chalutzah (a Levirate widow). If he does marry any of them, their children likewise become chalalim....


15

The Rama (EH 1:3) writes that nowadays we are not accustomed to force people to get divorced over this issue. The Bet Shemuel (1:7) there adds that in such a case the husband may divorce his wife against her will if he chooses to, without worrying about the Cherem of Rabbeinu Gershom.


15

As I understand it, if a Kohen is certain that his wife was violated by another man, their union is now prohibited and a divorce would be needed. A kohen is prohibited from being married to an isha zonah, which the Talmud defines as a woman who has had relations with any man -- regardless of her choice in the matter! -- other than her husband, with the ...


15

First things first, You're human. You can't help being attracted to women, Gd made you that way. Only the whens and wheres are your responsibility. Also remember that this area is a very difficult one to conquer, so don't get down on yourself if you fail to climb Everest the first few, or dozen, or hundred times. Getting a warning beforehand helps, so you ...


15

In the Tzavaos of Rabbi Yehuda HaChasid #25 seen here he says two brothers should not marry two sisters. See note #37 (#32 in the linked edition) from Rabbi Reuven Margolis quoting the Noda Biyehuda Even HaEzer 79 who brings cases in the gemara where we see this was not something they adhered to. EDIT: To clarify the issue and for those who don't know, ...


15

Kesubos 72a תניא נמי הכי המדיר את אשתו שלא תשאל ושלא תשאיל נפה וכברה ריחים ותנור יוציא ויתן כתובה מפני שמשיאה שם רע בשכינותיה Someone who imposes a vow on his wife that she may not borrow or lend her kitchen utensils like sieve, mill, oven etc. must divorce his wife and pay her Kesuba because he makes a bad name for his wife among her neighbours


15

Sotah 44a: תנו רבנן אשר בנה אשר נטע אשר ארש לימדה תורה דרך ארץ שיבנה אדם בית ויטע כרם ואח"כ ישא אשה ואף שלמה אמר בחכמתו (משלי כד, כז) הכן בחוץ מלאכתך ועתדה בשדה לך אחר ובנית ביתך הכן בחוץ מלאכתך זה בית ועתדה בשדה לך זה כרם אחר ובנית ביתך זו אשה The Sages taught (Tosefta 7:20-21): The Torah states: “What man is there that has built” (Deuteronomy 20:5),...


14

Shulchan Aruch OC 339:4 rules that one should not perform Kiddushin (betrothal) or Nissuin (marriage) on Shabbat or Yom Tov. However he notes that if one did so, even on purpose, it works and the couple is fully married. The prohibition originates in the Mishna (Beitza 5:2). The Babylonian Talmud (36b per Tosfot) explains that this is a rabbinic prohibition ...


14

No. See Mishnah Sotah, 5:1: כְּשֵׁם שֶׁאֲסוּרָה לַבַּעַל, כָּךְ אֲסוּרָה לַבּוֹעֵל, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (שם) נִטְמְאָה, וְנִטְמָאָה, דִּבְרֵי רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא. אָמַר רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ, כָּךְ הָיָה דוֹרֵשׁ זְכַרְיָה בֶן הַקַּצָּב. רַבִּי אוֹמֵר, שְׁנֵי פְעָמִים הָאֲמוּרִים בַּפָּרָשָׁה אִם נִטְמְאָה נִטְמָאָה, אֶחָד לַבַּעַל וְאֶחָד לַבּוֹעֵל: Just as [the ...


13

The earliest printed sources that mention the bans of Rabbeinu Gershom ben Yehuda, one of which is the ban on polygamy, appear to be the Machzor Vitry (§575) and two teshuvot of the Maharam of Rotenberg (§153 and §1022). A much easier source to find (and read) is the anonymously-authored Sefer Kol Bo, which was probably composed in the 14th century. There ...


13

No, and it would be nearly impossible to determine. Every modern survey and census of Jews in America has been performed with the widest possible definition of Jew, in order to obtain the fullest and least-controversial numbers. This usually translates to counting someone as a Jew if they identify themselves as Jewish. (Source) For example, a recent ...


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