26 votes
Accepted

My Orthodox Jewish co-worker invited me to his wedding. Anything I should know about?

Yes, there is plenty that is worth knowing ahead of time about Orthodox weddings. First, I'll talk a little about what will or might be expected from you at the wedding and then I'll talk a little ...
Daniel's user avatar
  • 24.9k
23 votes

Is it possible to have a Jewish wedding after a civil ceremony?

There is no reason not to have a Jewish wedding. On the contrary! There is a strong reason to have one, in order to live according to halacha with a kosher wedding and ketuba. Note that, in many ...
mbloch's user avatar
  • 51.8k
16 votes

Intermarriage Attendance

There are numerous halahic problems in attending a mixed marriage: Aiding one committing a sin. Sourced in BT AZ (6b). There is a difference of opinions among Rishonim if this applies to a scenario ...
Oliver's user avatar
  • 12k
14 votes

How can there be only two Halachic witnesses at a large wedding?

The Ritva in Kiddushin 43a brings the custom of designating specific witnesses at a ceremony where there are invalid witnesses present, to get around the problem of עדות שבטלה מקצתה בטלה כולה (the ...
chortkov2's user avatar
  • 9,500
13 votes
Accepted

language of betrothal at wedding

That specific formulation is certainly not necessary. The Gemara (Kiddushin 5a) has several variant formulations: כיצד בכסף? נתן לה כסף או שוה כסף ואמר לה "הרי את מקודשת לי", "הרי את ...
Y     e     z's user avatar
12 votes

Menstruating on Wedding Day

Practically speaking, the wedding goes ahead as planned, with minor differences at the ceremony: The groom is careful not to touch the bride when putting the ring on her finger. The groom does not ...
Danny Schoemann's user avatar
11 votes

My Orthodox Jewish co-worker invited me to his wedding. Anything I should know about?

To supplement, not supplant, Daniel's good answer: Orthodox Jewish weddings start late. (Even later, often, if the bride and groom are Sephardic.) This varies geographically; for example, in my ...
msh210's user avatar
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11 votes
Accepted

What age were Leah and Rachel when they got married

The Seder Olam Rabba (ed. Leiner) states (ch. 2) that they were twins and were both 22 when they got married: נמצאו רחל ולאה נשאו בנות כ"ב כ"ב, שהיו תאומות Thus, Rachel and Leah were both ...
mevaqesh's user avatar
  • 35.6k
11 votes

Custom of groom stepping on bride's foot?

R. Avraham Azulai (Hesed LeAvraham, Nahar 48 bot. of pg.) describes this custom as a symbol of dominion. He relates as follows (trans. by Israel Abrahams, Jewish Life in the Middle Ages, pg. 203 fn. ...
Oliver's user avatar
  • 12k
11 votes
Accepted

When were "acrobatics" introduced at weddings?

I don't know if it's the earliest but Kesubos 17a provides three examples of shtik. אמרו עליו על רבי יהודה בר אילעאי שהיה נוטל בד של הדס ומרקד לפני הכלה ואומר כלה נאה וחסודה רב שמואל בר רב יצחק מרקד ...
robev's user avatar
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10 votes
Accepted

Halachic issues with double ring wedding ceremony

This question was posed to R. Moshe Feinstein by R. Ephraim Greenblatt in 1969, and is recorded in Igros Moshe E.H. 3:18. In the first paragraph he explains that the kiddushin is still effective even ...
Alex's user avatar
  • 49.3k
9 votes

Non-Jewish family in an Orthodox Jewish Wedding

I was involved with someone who had the following situation (I don't know the sources involved in the decision, just the guidance that was given. HaRav Tzvi Berkowitz was the Rav being consulted): ...
Y     e     z's user avatar
8 votes

Menstruating on Wedding Day

She has a chuppas niddah. It was a dispute among the Rishonim as to what extent chuppas niddah is effective, but common practice is that they go ahead with the wedding as normal (Shach Yoreh De'ah 192:...
Y     e     z's user avatar
7 votes

Can a woman who did not receive a get but only a civil divorce marry again?

First question: the mishna at the beginning of tractate Kiddushin makes it clear that the only way a Jewish married woman is allowed to marry someone else is either with a Get (a Jewish divorce), or ...
Shalom's user avatar
  • 133k
7 votes

Child marriage today

A boy at the age of 13, and a girl at the age of 12, who have fully matured according to halacha, (as explained in Rambam Sefer Nashim Hilcos Ishus perek 2) are considered adults according to halacha. ...
aBochur's user avatar
  • 3,859
7 votes

Who composed the text for Tena'im?

I don't believe there is a single set one, but a few with minor variations. Some of the classic Tenaim texts were collected in Sefer Nachalas Shiv'a, and another version was drafted by Rav Moshe ...
רבות מחשבות's user avatar
7 votes

Is it required to read the Ketubah under the Chuppah?

The Aruch HaShulchan in Even Ha'Ezer 62:8 says that reading the Ketubah under the Chuppah is a custom instituted by Rashi (1040-1105) ורש"י ז"ל הנהיג לקרות הכתובה אחר הקדושין כי היכי דליהוי הפסק ...
Danny Schoemann's user avatar
7 votes

Why are huge challot displayed on the wedding couple / Bar Mitzvah's table?

The earliest source for having a large Challah at a wedding is the Maasas Binyomin (d. 1620) There is a wide spread custom to distribute slices of the large challa to the friends of the Chosson and ...
chortkov2's user avatar
  • 9,500
7 votes
Accepted

Source for Baal Haturim Writing Commentary on his Wedding Night!

Hidabroot (here) writes It is a well-known fact that Rabbi Yaakov [Ben Asher, the Baal Haturim] wrote his entire commentary on the Torah in one night, orally, although no reliable source has ...
mbloch's user avatar
  • 51.8k
7 votes

Inviting deceased relatives to a wedding

I found a number of references to this custom R Moishe Dovid Lebovits here mentions Some bring down the custom for the chosson and kallah to go the cemetery to invite their non-living grandparents to ...
mbloch's user avatar
  • 51.8k
6 votes

Intermarriage Attendance

The most straightforward halachic source would appear to be the prohibition of chanufa, falsely flattering a sinner by implying that his/her sin is permitted. (This is different than a vague statement ...
Shalom's user avatar
  • 133k
6 votes

Earliest moment for interrupted wedding to be considered binding?

From the moment the bride receives the ring (or anything else of value) from the groom after he declares הֲרֵי אַתְּ מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת לִי in the presence of 2 Kosher witnesses, they are married, and the ...
Danny Schoemann's user avatar
6 votes

What age were Leah and Rachel when they got married

Seder Olam Rabbah 2 calculates that they were twins and married Yaakov at 22. I don’t follow the math, myself. It seems to just throw out there that Rachel was 36 when she died; since Yaakov married ...
DonielF's user avatar
  • 34.3k
6 votes

Which word is said under the chuppah - זוֹ or זוּ?

Google searches yield a number of hits for both results. This website quotes Chanoch Yellon as saying that Ashkenazim use זוּ while Sefardim and Teimanim use זוֹ. Cool historical fact: This forum ...
רבות מחשבות's user avatar
6 votes

Which word is said under the chuppah - זוֹ or זוּ?

I have to admit that it's been a while since I said this to my bashert, and I guess I have to find my rav to confirm what I said. (He has a better memory than I.) But, to add to רבות מחשבות's answer, ...
DanF's user avatar
  • 70.5k
6 votes
Accepted

How can there be only two Halachic witnesses at a large wedding?

There are two issues at play here. 1) Who actually saw the event. 2) Who are the members of the "official group" ("Kaht") of witnesses that not only saw the event, but also serve as a specific group ...
David Kenner's user avatar
  • 10.8k
6 votes
Accepted

Why doesn't the chatan sign the ketubah?

The kesuba serves as documentary testimony that the groom accepted upon himself the responsibilities entailed therein. It is not an I.O.U., but it is the documentation of his acceptance. Consider the ...
Y     e     z's user avatar
6 votes

Breaking a cheap glass under the Chuppah

In Yalkut Yosef שובע שמחות חלק א דף רמא he brings down the idea from the ראבי"ה who uses the Gemera in Moed Katan 27a that nowadays we have a cheap cup in order to not embarrass others who don't ...
Avishai Tebeka's user avatar
5 votes

Causing Rabbis Bitul Torah

As was mentioned in the comments, we ignore the problem of בטול תורה because, as the gemara in Kesubos 17a says: תנו רבנן מבטלין תלמוד תורה...ולהכנסת כלה The Sages taught: One suspends the ...
Uber_Chacham's user avatar

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