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24

Someone asked this of Rabbi Yaakov Hopfer, a major posek on these matters in Baltimore. He said without hesitation that it was permissible. His interpretation of the prohibition on "s'chok vekalut rosh" is "behavior that is suggestive or disinhibiting." I don't see a normal "I love you" as either of those.


15

Rabbi Isaac ben Sheshet was asked (Responsum 425) why no rabbinic edict requiring unmarried women to regularly purify themselves in the Mivka was ever enacted in order to minimize the transgressions of those who engage in extra-marital sexual contact. (I note the whole basis of the question is that in the days when women regularly or even semi-regularly were ...


14

Rav Ovadia Yosef (Torat HaTahara 12:54, Taharat HaBayit vol 2 pp. 167-170) permits it.


14

Yes, someone who eats impure food becomes impure themselves (Rambam Shar Avot Hatumah 8:10). However, this needs some perspective. Niddah is one kind of impurity, and another one is that of a corpse (see Numbers 19). The procedure for purifying oneself of Niddah-impurity is by using a mikvah which can and is done today regularly. The procedure for purifying ...


12

A person whose wife is nidah is still obligated to love her as much as he loves himself; anything he says in order to "lessen the tension in the air" is permitted (Nit'ei Gavriel 33:4 and footnote 8). So I guess to say "I love you" to "lessen the tension in the air" is permitted, but to say it for no reason may be closer to lightheadedness.


12

Practically speaking, the wedding goes ahead as planned, with minor differences at the ceremony: The groom is careful not to touch the bride when putting the ring on her finger. The groom does not hand the Ketuba to the bride. The bride & groom do not hold hands after the ceremony. The Yichud-room has another person present; usually hiding there in ...


11

There are two basic schools of thought about this principle cited by Rebbi Zeira. The Talmud in Niddah 66a is the most primary source for the discussion of this. אמר רב התקין רבי בשדות ראתה יום אחד תשב ששה והוא שנים תשב ששה והן שלשה תשב שבעה נקיים אמר ר' זירא בנות ישראל החמירו על עצמן שאפילו רואות טפת דם כחרדל יושבות עליה שבעה נקיים Rav said: Rebbi ...


11

If I understand correctly, your argument goes something like this: A.) The Halacha is to always wait (>=5) + 7. B.) Doing so on a natural routine can be inconvenient, e.g. for vacations. C.) People use the pill to deal with it. D.) Using the pill this way is: 1. A cancer risk. 2. Unnatural and therefore against God's will. 3. Emotionally messy. You ...


11

The Talmud records the following story: Shabbat 13a-13b תני דבי אליהו מעשה בתלמיד א' ששנה הרבה וקרא הרבה ושימש תלמידי חכמים הרבה ומת בחצי ימיו והיתה אשתו נוטלת תפיליו ומחזרתם בבתי כנסיות ובבתי מדרשות ואמרה להם כתיב בתורה כי הוא חייך ואורך ימיך בעלי ששנה הרבה וקרא הרבה ושימש תלמידי חכמים הרבה מפני מה מת בחצי ימיו ולא היה אדם מחזירה דבר פעם אחת ...


10

This article from Dr J Menczer indicates that although there is a significantly lower incidence of cervical cancer amongst Jews it is not due to family purity laws, as even Jews who do not observe these laws have a lower incidence of cervical cancer.


10

According to Rebbetzin Faige Luban, a kallah teacher in Edison, NJ, it is required.


10

Yes, such classes exist, and are recommended for potential bridegrooms. Speak to the rabbi of any orthodox synagogue, and he should be able to direct you someone who can tutor you in this field. So, I suspect, can the head or mashgiach of any bes midrash. Covered topics are hilchos nida and v'sasos, k'vod ishto, and others, though the exact list varies from ...


10

It's of Biblical force and punishable as such, but yes we need to apply the Oral Law (namely one of Rabbi Yishamel's 13 principles) to spell it out. Rambam Laws of Prohibitions on Relations 4:3: ד,ג במה דברים אמורים שהטומאה תלויה בימים, בשטבלה במי מקוה אחר הימים הספורים. אבל נידה וזבה ויולדת שלא טבלו במי מקוה--הבא על אחת מהן, אפילו אחר כמה שנים--חייב כרת, ...


10

רמב"ם Hilchos Isurei Biah 4:4 writes הגויים--אין חייבין עליהם משום נידה Non-Jews – one is not culpable for violations of Niddah with them … However (although this wasn't the question), there is a non-Niddah Kares for relations with a non-Jew (h/t to DoubleAA) - Even HaEzer 16:2 הבא על העובדת כוכבים, אם לא פגעו בו קנאים ולא הלקוהו בית דין, הרי עונשו ...


10

R. Moshe Feinstein has a responsum (Igrot Moshe Y.D. 2:77) with the following question from R. Avraham Chaim Levin: הנה במקום שיש אחרים רואין אם יש דיני הרחקות באשתו נדה שמסתפק כתר"ה דאולי יש להתיר משום דאז אין בו רעיון של קירוב וגם שבא מזה לידי בזיון להאשה ויש בזה משום כבוד הבריות Behold, in a place where there are others watching, do the laws of ...


9

The source of this exception from dam makkah is a mishna on Niddah 64b, and the gemara on Niddah 65b. There's a big machloket in the Rishonim about the reason why we have this exception to the general rule that blood from a wound is not niddah blood. I don't know them all of the top of my head, and I recommend The Laws and Concepts of Niddah by Rabbi Zvi ...


8

Rav Mordechai Eliyahu (Darchei Tahorah, 5:64) forbids it, as does the Ben Ish Chai (Second Year, Parshat Tzav, #25).


8

I really wouldn't call them "chumra" days. They're rabbinically required. And they protect you in case any period is at all funny, you could wind up in a zava situation -- or nida-still-within-the-seven -- without knowing it (in which case mikva and everything accomplishes nothing, it would still be liable to Karet.) It's not just about being "careful." If ...


8

Let's put aside questions of the obligation to have children. Most marriages have some unspoken assumptions, but if the couple goes in with this clear understanding, I really don't see the issue. Rambam writes "you may not marry a woman with plans to soon divorce her, unless she's aware of the plan and okay with it." Similarly there's a Gemara about a Kohen ...


8

There's a Sefer by that name from 90 years ago - תרפג/1923. A search of HebrewBooks.org seems to show that the term was not used [much] earlier. A search of Toras Emeth Software indicates that it's not used in any of the classics (Mishna, Gemara, Rambam, Shulchan Aruch) and the earliest it finds is from the קיצור ש''ע ילקוט יוסף - the 2nd half of the 20th ...


8

Nowadays a woman becomes a Niddah during childbirth, as we pasken (or: have taken upon as a Halacha) that most vaginal discharges cause Niddah. Some very specific colors are except, but it needs training to discern them. Since childbirth includes a lot of blood, we assume that some of the blood may be Niddah-blood and since we cannot tell the bloods apart (...


8

She has a chuppas niddah. It was a dispute among the Rishonim as to what extent chuppas niddah is effective, but common practice is that they go ahead with the wedding as normal (Shach Yoreh De'ah 192:8). There are some questions that arise in this situation. For example, does the groom put the ring onto the bride's finger? There are varying customs. In my ...


8

This opinion is cited in the Taz YD 193 sk 4 and 196 sk 5. The idea is roughly that for hymenal bleeding, which only effects a Niddah Derabanan, there is no need to be stringent to add a 5th day. After any ordinary menstrual bleeding, this wouldn't apply. "Marriage" technically has nothing to do with it.


8

Shulchan Arukh (YD 201:1) writes: אין האשה עולה מטומאתה ברחיצה במרחץ ואפילו עלו עליה כל מימות שבעולם עדיין היא בטומאתה וחייבים עליה כרת עד שתטבול כל גופה בבת אחת במי מקוה או מעיין שיש בהם מ' סאה. A women does not remove her Niddah impurity through washing in a bathhouse, even if all the waters in the world washed over her, she remains in her ...


8

This is cited by Raavad in his commentary to Tamid (end, s.v. He'chelu): ובספר מקצועות מצאתי כתוב היכא דאיכא נדה בביתא דכהן אסור אסור ליה למסיק לדוכן כל אימת דאיתא בנדתה דחייש דלמא נגע במידי דנגעה היא ואתי לאטמויי דאמר רבי יודן כל כהן שנושא את כפיו ואמו או אשתו או בתו טמאה ונכנס הוא באותו בית שנדה לשם הרי תפילתו על ישראל תועבה ואף גורם לזרעו שיאבד מהעולם ...


7

When I got married I was told by my Rabbi who gave me a Choson Shmeus that it is the husbands responsibility. I have no idea what you are talking about when you say "The man often wants to know why, which they are usually reluctant to tell him". I never asked why on a Psak and if I did my Rav would not hesitate to explain. You say "The man often asks is ...


7

I'm going to say that whoever wrote the wikipedia article did not understand the sources they were reading. First let me state the noticeable problems. According to Halakha a woman may not tell her husband that she is Tameh when she is not (Even HaEzer 77 and Nosei Kelim). It would give her the status of a moredet, which is a person (a mored in the case ...


7

As Clint already mentioned, the obligation to bring doves applies to a Zava - one who bleeds between the expected times of her period (to oversimplify). So most women never had this obligation. Another missing piece is that the woman does not have to bring the doves immediately - she can accumulate the obligations and bring them all together. As long as ...


7

Try https://www.mymikvahcalendar.org which has approbations from 7 Rabbis, 1 institution and 3 Kallah teachers. The FAQ also talks about the settings menu so it may have options to customize whether or not to take into account different opinions and stringencies. Seems to be free and is web-based, so it'll work on any computer. Caveat: That's all I know ...


7

I actually had a discussion about this with someone this morning! As noted here, this term is a very recent innovation. The conclusion of the person with whom I was speaking (a recognized Talmid Chochom who's name I'll leave out to preserve my own anonymity) was that it is a term that western sensitivities are more comfortable with. "Family Purity" sounds ...


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