This is a fair question. You are far from the only person who feels this way.
As an Orthodox woman who respects the traditional prohibition on Talmud study for women, as well as the many other Jewish laws which appear to limit women, I see it like this.
And of Zebulun he said, Rejoyce, Zebulun,
in thy going out; and Issachar, in thy tents.
In addition, women are exempt and even discouraged from a large number of mitzvas that are central to Jewish practice, such as praying three times a day and laying tefillin.
This is close to completely false and at least dramatically overstated. Women are obligated in the vast, vast majority of Mitzvot (somewhere around 585/613=95% of the biblical ones), ...
It doesn't seem that anyone attempted to address this in a comprehensive manner, so I will try. There might be slight overlap with some of the other answers here, and with my answer to this question. If you don't want to read through many paragraphs of sources, skip to the summary all the way at the bottom.
It all starts with the Mishnah in Sotah 3:4 which ...
From Rav Aviner's tshuvot (text)
Wearing Wife's Jacket in the Cold
Q: Is it permissible for a husband to wear his wife's jacket if he is
cold, or is it forbidden on account of "Lo Yilbash" (the prohibition
of cross-dressing)? And what about visa-versa?
A: It is permissible, since the purpose is not to wear it but simply
to warm up (Shut ...
Rambam Hilchos Malachim perek 1 Halacha 5
"אין מעמידין אשה במלכות שנאמר עליך מלך ולא מלכה וכן כל משימות שבישראל אין ממנים בהם אלא איש."
women cannot become kings.
Also when the gemara discusses Mashiach they use the loshon "him" and Ben Dovid see Sanhedrin 98
Halachically, you transgress a biblical commandment if you knowingly have relations with a niddah, and the punishment is karet. See this answer, which cites Rambam Laws of Prohibitions on Relations 4:3. According to Rambam Issurei Biah 1:1 (h/t DoubleAA), punishments for forbidden relations apply to both except in a special case not applicable here.
Thank you and welcome to the site. We hope this is a theoretical question; however, Judaism covers the difficult cases too.
First off, this isn't pleasant to bring up, but not all forms of rape would be of halachic consequence to the question at hand; but we'll assume here that this was conventional full penetration, which would present an issue.
The Kohen ...
I am impressed by the gravity of your inquiry and your care in the matter in that you are seeking real answers to a complicated question. May Hashem help the two of you and anyone else in need of this post.
First let's address some issues your question raised in this case, and then let's address the Halachic ramifications.
The OP states that your wife is ...
First things first, You're human. You can't help being attracted to women, Gd made you that way. Only the whens and wheres are your responsibility. Also remember that this area is a very difficult one to conquer, so don't get down on yourself if you fail to climb Everest the first few, or dozen, or hundred times.
Getting a warning beforehand helps, so you ...
Her name was אמתלאי בת כרנבו.
ואמר רב חנן בר רבא אמר רב אמיה דאברהם אמתלאי בת כרנבו אמיה דהמן אמתלאי
בת עורבתי וסימניך טמא טמא טהור טהור
Bava Basra 91a
(I knew it existed, but will admit to having resorted to Google to find it fast.)
R. Yehuda Aiash (Shut Beit Yehuda YD 28) rules that in general any honour which one must accord a male (such as standing up for an older man), one must accord an equivalent female as well:
פשוט דכל מיני כבוד שחייבין לעשות לאיש הה"נ לאשה
Similarly, R. Yitshak Attiya writes (Zera Yitshak: Pilpelet Kol Shehu p. 88, cited in Yalkut Yosef 627 p. 173) cites ...
In his commentary to Rambam's codification of this law (Hilchot Melachim 7:5), R. David Ibn Zimra asks: “Is it the way of women to wage war?” And he cites the verse (Psalms 45:14) "All glorious is the king's daughter within the palace" in support of this. He then suggests that the women were (not actively fighting, but) supplying food and water to ...
The mishna in Y'vamos (6:4) indicates that a widow is forbidden to a Kohein Gadol whether she was a widow only from erusin (when intimacy was still forbidden) or whether she was a widow even from nisu'in:
כוהן גדול לא יישא את האלמנה--בין אלמנה מן האירוסין בין אלמנה מן הנשואין.
This is quoted as halacha by the Rambam (Hil. Isurei Bi'ah 17:11):
R. Hershel Schachter has discussed this issue a number of times, and explains it thus:
It is based on technicalities of kinyanim. One of the kinyanim that is used for selling chametz is a kinyan chatzer. A potential issue raised with this kinyan is that a kinyan chatzer works as a shliach, and a non-Jew does not have the ability to create a shliach. However,...
Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky writes on page 129 of Kovetz Halchos that a woman is obligated to drink a rivies of wine on Purim, and that she can fulfil this obligation with grape juice (see footnote 231).
In footnote 230, he holds that since women are obligated in all the mitzvos of the day, they are also obligated to drink a little wine, but to drink a lot of ...
In מריח ניחוח (Issue 10, Nitzavim - Vayeilech), R' Gamliel HaKohen Rabinowitz writes (as quoted in Daf al HaDaf to Nida 30b):
הסתפקתי פעם, אם גם לנקבה מלמדין התורה, או רק לזכר, ופשטתי זאת מדברי ה"נועם אלימלך" זי"ע, הנ"ל, שאם לא היו מלמדין התורה קודם שבאו לעולם, לא היה באפשרי להשיג התורה, והנה נשים צריכים לדעת היטב הלכות נדה חלה ועוד, וא"כ מה שהם צריכים ...
R Eliezer Melamed, author of Peninei Halakha, (here, note 10) writes
The Aĥaronim debate whether a woman may write a Megilla.
Mateh Yehuda, and Pri Megadim posit that since a woman must read the
Megilla, she may write one.
R. Akiva Eger, Avnei Nezer, and others
maintain that she is invalidated from writing a megilla, just as she
is invalidated ...
The Talmud in Ketubot 72a cites Numbers 5:18 as a Scriptural source/derivation:
ראשה פרוע דאורייתא היא דכתיב ופרע את ראש האשה ותנא דבי רבי ישמעאל אזהרה לבנות ישראל שלא יצאו בפרוע ראש
[Is not the prohibition against going out with] an uncovered head Pentateuchal; for it is written, And he shall uncover the woman's head, and this, it was taught at the ...
The Talmud in Shavuot 30a derives this directly from Deuteronomy 19:17
וְעָמְדוּ שְׁנֵי-הָאֲנָשִׁים אֲשֶׁר-לָהֶם הָרִיב לִפְנֵי יְהוָה לִפְנֵי הַכֹּהֲנִים וְהַשֹּׁפְטִים אֲשֶׁר יִהְיוּ בַּיָּמִים הָהֵם.
And they shall stand the two men, who have them the conflict, before God. Before the priests, and the judges, that will be, in those days.
The woman can ask but the torah specifies that the man must write (order the writing of) the divorce document and deliver it to her. There are cases in which the court can order the man to write the get, but he must be the one to write it (or order it written) and it must be of his own free will. This is similar to the rules of getting married in which the ...
Although the real answer to your question would be found in the Double AA's answer, it's worth noting that there was at least one authority who did believe that pisuk raglayim was an issue for men as well, albeit not as big an issue as for women. The Chazon Ish felt that wearing a long jacket was proper for exactly this issue. In fact he would wear an extra ...
There is a wide variety out there. I'd recommend Googling some synagogues that you might visit post-pandemic, and often there are photos there of its members. That should give you some sense. If you can arrange a socially-distanced outdoors chat with a woman in a prospective community, that could be incredibly helpful.
As Alex commented, there's a wide ...
Well, here's Rambam Laws of Husbandhood Ch. 14:
יד,י [ח] האישה שמנעה בעלה מתשמיש המיטה--היא הנקראת מורדת, ושואלין אותה מפני מה מרדה: אם אמרה, מאסתיהו ואיני יכולה להיבעל לו מדעתי--כופין אותו להוציא לשעתו, לפי שאינה בשביה שתיבעל לשנוי לה; ותצא בלא כתובה כלל, ותיטול בליותיה הקיימין, בין מנכסים שהכניסה לבעלה ונתחייב באחריותן, בין מנכסים שלא נתחייב באחריותן. ...
You've already cited the relevant source, but maybe it's worth seeing the Shulchan Arukh (YD 264:1) inside:
הכל כשרים למול אפי' עבד אשה וקטן וערל ישראל שמתו אחיו מחמת מילה ואם יש ישראל גדול שיודע למול הוא קודם לכלם (וי"א דאשה לא תמול וכן נוהגין להדר אחר איש).
All can circumcise, even a slave or a woman or a child or an uncircumcised Jew. And if ...
Note 10 in Rav Eliezer Melamed's article on the "lighter fasts" states as follows:
וכיום ההוראה הרווחת לנשים אשכנזיות שלא לצום. ועיין בפסקי תשובות תקנ,
א, שהביא דעות מופלגות להיתר, שכל הנשים הראויות לילד פטורות מהצום, כדי
שיהיה להן כוח לילד. ויש אמרו שתפדה את הצום בצדקה. ע"כ. ואין נוהגים
להורות כמותם, אבל במקום ספק אפשר לצרף את דבריהם להיתר.
There are six commandments applicable to males at all times:
Know there is God.
Don't believe in other gods.
Belief in unity of God.
Don't be lead astray by your eyes and heart.
These are all equally relevant for females. The last one may apply somewhat differently to females and males. There are many other vitally important ...
The Talmud (Gittin 45b) says:
תני רב המנונא בריה דרבא מפשרוניא ס"ת תפלין ומזוזות שכתבן אפיקורוס עובד כוכבים ועבד אשה וקטן וכותי וישראל מומר פסולין שנאמר וקשרתם וכתבתם כל שישנו בקשירה ישנו בכתיבה וכל שאינו בקשירה אינו בכתיבה
R. Hamnuna the son of Raba of Pashrunia learnt that a scroll of the Law, phylacteries and mezuzoth written by... a heathen, a ...
Yes! It says so explicitly in the Torah.
דַּבֵּר֙ אֶל־בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל וְאָמַרְתָּ֖ אֲלֵהֶ֑ם אִ֣ישׁ אֽוֹ־אִשָּׁ֗ה כִּ֤י יַפְלִא֙ לִנְדֹּר֙ נֶ֣דֶר נָזִ֔יר לְהַזִּ֖יר לַֽיהוָֽה׃
Speak to the Israelites and say to them: If anyone, man or woman, explicitly utters a nazirite’s vow, to set himself apart for the LORD