21

You have to get dressed in the way that your naked areas won't be exposed. You aren't allowed to say, "I am in my innermost room; who can see me?" G-d can see you. Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 2:1-2.


18

The issue we have to ask is why is a psak (legal ruling) ever binding in the first place? Why can't you just ask the next person? There are two main possibilities (see Shach YD 242:31): שויה אנפשיה חתיכה דאיסורא The asker accepted upon themselves when they asked the first authority to follow their answer. Let's assume for now this principle works similar ...


18

This is a matter of disagreement among the poskim. Those who say this is an acceptable type of hair covering include Shiltei Giborim (Shabbos 29a in dapei haRif) and P'ri M'gadim (Eshel Avraham OC 75:5). Those who say it is unacceptable, and differentiate between a regular wig and a wig made out of a woman's own hair, include Ateres Z'keinim (OC 75:3), Be'...


16

I am a white male, and I had this happen to me recently, where I met a woman in a business setting who politely told me, "I don't shake hands for religious reasons". I had never heard this before, but it did not faze me in the least. She was polite in every other way that she treated me. No Problem!


16

Many commentaries have offered explanations to this issue. Even if you disregard societal differences of modesty or niddah concerns, there are other possibilities. Here are a few: Rachel was too young to arouse passion Ramban argues: ורחל היתה קטנה ואין לחוש לה. וזה ענין וישק יעקב לרחל Rachel was young and so there was no concern [that she went ...


16

First things first, You're human. You can't help being attracted to women, Gd made you that way. Only the whens and wheres are your responsibility. Also remember that this area is a very difficult one to conquer, so don't get down on yourself if you fail to climb Everest the first few, or dozen, or hundred times. Getting a warning beforehand helps, so you ...


15

Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky writes on page 129 of Kovetz Halchos that a woman is obligated to drink a rivies of wine on Purim, and that she can fulfil this obligation with grape juice (see footnote 231). In footnote 230, he holds that since women are obligated in all the mitzvos of the day, they are also obligated to drink a little wine, but to drink a lot of ...


15

I always heard of people taking off their glasses. I had pretty good vision until recently, and just last week I was able to try that trick, and it actually (somewhat) worked! So for men who have impaired vision, that can be used to their advantage to some extent - blurry women are not as attractive. This isn't practical for all occupations. If you're a ...


14

Rav Ovadia Yosef (Torat HaTahara 12:54, Taharat HaBayit vol 2 pp. 167-170) permits it.


14

Rambam, Laws of Prohibitions on Relations, 21:19 (or #20, depending on your edition): וכן אסור לאדם שיקשה עצמו לדעת, או יביא עצמו לידי הרהור ... ולא יסתכל בבהמה חיה ועוף, בשעה שמזדקקין זכר לנקבה; ומותר למרביעי בהמה להכניס כמכחול בשפופרת, מפני שהן עסקין במלאכתן ולא יבואו לידי הרהור.‏ A man should not bring himself to arousal ... [gives a few ...


14

The source in Halacha is Shulchan Arukh (Even HaEzer 21:1) צריך אדם להתרחק מהנשים מאד מאד...ואסור לשחוק עמה...‏ A man must distance himself from women very, very much...it is forbidden to play with her... among lots of other things men shouldn't be doing with unrelated women. Many of the specific examples brought there and elsewhere in older texts ...


13

Gemara Berachos 24a : Shmuel says that kol of a women is ervah because of the passuk in shir hashirim 2:14. יד. יוֹנָתִי בְּחַגְוֵי הַסֶּלַע בְּסֵתֶר הַמַּדְרֵגָה הַרְאִינִי אֶת מַרְאַיִךְ הַשְׁמִיעִנִי אֶת קוֹלֵךְ כִּי קוֹלֵךְ עָרֵב וּמַרְאֵיךְ נָאוֶה:‏ My dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the coverture of the steps, show me your appearance, let me hear ...


13

When teaching Kodesh at Yeshivas Toras Emes (High School) in Johannesburg almost 30 years ago, the Menahel HaRav Gedalia Sternstein שליט"א told me that the Rov - Rabbi Salzer זצ"ל - told him that it's best if the students learn about these things from the Gemora - BiKedusha uVeTaharo. As relevant topics came up, we were to explain them is as much detail as ...


13

Although the real answer to your question would be found in the Double AA's answer, it's worth noting that there was at least one authority who did believe that pisuk raglayim was an issue for men as well, albeit not as big an issue as for women. The Chazon Ish felt that wearing a long jacket was proper for exactly this issue. In fact he would wear an extra ...


12

A) Why were they having relations during the daytime? Where do you see that it says anything about daytime? B) Why were they having relations in a way that others could see? The שפתי חכמים answers your question. He says that it's impossible to say that they would have relations where people could see them. Rather, by Yitzchak closing the window ...


11

The Rama writes (EH 21:5) יש אומרים דאין לנהוג אפילו עם אשתו בדברים של חיבה, כגון לעיין ברישיה אם יש לו כינים, בפני אחרים Some say that you shouldn't act with your wife in affectionate matters, such as her checking his head for lice, in front of others. While some have extended this to prohibit any public indication of her Niddah status (such as via ...


10

A related question was recently on The Workplace, and one of the answers there offered a phrasing I like. While dodging the physical interaction (more about that in a moment), you can say "I'm sorry, my religion allows me to shake hands only with my wife" (or husband, for women in this position). Or you could say "touch" instead of "shake hands with" if ...


10

Practice your fake sneeze. If I'm with my wife and a man sticks out their hand to her, I say "I'll take that" and shake their hand (even if I've already shaken their hand).


10

The commandment to avoid negative reactions is on you, not your wife nor her friends. Of course they shouldn't be deliberately provocative, but if, for example, a normal conversation held in one part of your house bothers you in another part because of kol isha, or if the visitor is dressed appropriately and you are still distracted, this is largely a ...


10

The Sefer Avnei Yasfei 2:5:anaf 2 writes that its assur based off different sources he brings in the tshuva. He argues on those who allow it who he also brings in the tshuva. (it is worthwhile going through the whole Siman and all the anafim since he answers many kol isha questions which are commonly asked these days) Rav Wosner in Shevet Halevi 3:181 also ...


10

So, we all have yetzer. As Jews, we believe that yetzer is part of our condition; reference the midrash about the disastrous effects of disabling it temporarily (Yoma 69b). It's all of our job to recognize yetzer and deal with it. That, of course, includes avoiding some situations, channeling some urges, but, at the end of the day, taking responsibility for ...


10

Iggros Moshe Even Haezer 1:69 applies the prohibition of seeing immodestly dressed women/men to seeing inappropriate behavior, with the reasoning that the problem is the thought process it instigates. Based on this logic he applies it to images in films, and even reading about inappropriate activity in books. So if these drawn images conjure up ...


10

Avos DeRabbi Nasan (7:3) defines the problem as bringing home gossip to your wife, how you were treated negatively, how you treated others in response, etc. According to that, the medium of communication - speaking, writing, in person or at a distance - seems irrelevant.


10

The Aruch Hashulchan (75:8) discusses the prohibition of a man hearing a woman singing, which is based on the statement of Shmuel in the Talmud (Berachot 24a)1: קול באשה ערוה שנא' (שיר השירים ב, יד) כי קולך ערב ומראך נאוה A woman’s [singing] voice is considered nakedness, [which he derives from the praise accorded a woman’s voice,] as it is stated: “Sweet ...


10

You may be thinking of this similar passage in Talmud Bavli (BB 91b) with Sefaria trans.: ואמר רבי יוחנן נהירנא כד הוו מטיילין טליא וטלייתא בשוקא כבר שית עשרה וכבר שב עשרה ולא הוו חטאן And Rabbi Yoḥanan said: I remember when a boy and girl, of sixteen and seventeen years of age, would walk together in the market, and they would not sin The Rashbam explains ...


10

R. Moshe Feinstein has a responsum (Igrot Moshe Y.D. 2:77) with the following question from R. Avraham Chaim Levin: הנה במקום שיש אחרים רואין אם יש דיני הרחקות באשתו נדה שמסתפק כתר"ה דאולי יש להתיר משום דאז אין בו רעיון של קירוב וגם שבא מזה לידי בזיון להאשה ויש בזה משום כבוד הבריות Behold, in a place where there are others watching, do the laws of ...


9

If you know that you would be in such a situation, inform the woman, who may be trying to shake hands with you, beforehand, to avoid problems. During my service in Israeli army I attended an order where I was supposed to shake hands with one female lieutenant colonel in presence of other high-rank commanders. I informed her about my problem beforehand, and ...


9

Afraid your friend got it horribly, horribly wrong. There are modesty reasons why you wouldn't want women immersing (so they can be with their husbands) running into random men; but for that reason, you simply say "mikvah is open to men during the following hours, women the following hours." I know of many mikvahs (or mikvaot) today that still have this ...


9

The Shach on Shulchan Aruch 178:1 (s.k. 3) says וצבע השחור הוא דרך צניעות והכנעה וכדאמרינן מי שיצרו מתגבר עליו ילבש שחורים ויתעטף שחורים Not clear if he's talking about men or women or both. But he's commenting on the Rema saying not to wear red, which it's reasonable to suggest is probably at least aimed at women as well, I'm not sure how many men would ...


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