16 votes

Men: how do you control your reactions to women in immodest dress if you can't avoid them?

I always heard of people taking off their glasses. I had pretty good vision until recently, and just last week I was able to try that trick, and it actually (somewhat) worked! So for men who have ...
15 votes

Why can men wear pants if pants are immodest?

Although the real answer to your question would be found in the Double AA's answer, it's worth noting that there was at least one authority who did believe that pisuk raglayim was an issue for men as ...
  • 32.8k
14 votes

Why don't boys and girls socialise in the 'frum' world?

The source in Halacha is Shulchan Arukh (Even HaEzer 21:1) צריך אדם להתרחק מהנשים מאד מאד...ואסור לשחוק עמה...‏ A man must distance himself from women very, very much...it is forbidden to ...
  • 95.7k
14 votes

How Do Modern Orthodox Women Typically Dress?

There is a wide variety out there. I'd recommend Googling some synagogues that you might visit post-pandemic, and often there are photos there of its members. That should give you some sense. If you ...
  • 128k
13 votes

Al Tarbeh Sicha Im Haisha- including Text Messaging?

Avos DeRabbi Nasan (7:3) defines the problem as bringing home gossip to your wife, how you were treated negatively, how you treated others in response, etc. According to that, the medium of ...
  • 31.5k
12 votes

Why was Yitzhak "laughing" with his wife openly?

A) Why were they having relations during the daytime? Where do you see that it says anything about daytime? B) Why were they having relations in a way that others could see? The שפתי חכמים ...
11 votes

Couples showing affection in public

The Rama writes (EH 21:5) יש אומרים דאין לנהוג אפילו עם אשתו בדברים של חיבה, כגון לעיין ברישיה אם יש לו כינים, בפני אחרים Some say that you shouldn't act with your wife in affectionate matters, ...
  • 95.7k
10 votes

Men: how do you control your reactions to women in immodest dress if you can't avoid them?

So, we all have yetzer. As Jews, we believe that yetzer is part of our condition; reference the midrash about the disastrous effects of disabling it temporarily (Yoma 69b). It's all of our job to ...
10 votes

Immodesty in artificial pictures

Iggros Moshe Even Haezer 1:69 applies the prohibition of seeing immodestly dressed women/men to seeing inappropriate behavior, with the reasoning that the problem is the thought process it instigates. ...
10 votes

Is it against halacha for a woman to play a musical instrument in front of a man?

The Aruch Hashulchan (75:8) discusses the prohibition of a man hearing a woman singing, which is based on the statement of Shmuel in the Talmud (Berachot 24a)1: קול באשה ערוה שנא' (שיר השירים ב, יד) ...
  • 47.2k
10 votes
Accepted

Help with a quote from the Talmud regarding the good old days

You may be thinking of this similar passage in Talmud Bavli (BB 91b) with Sefaria trans.: ואמר רבי יוחנן נהירנא כד הוו מטיילין טליא וטלייתא בשוקא כבר שית עשרה וכבר שב עשרה ולא הוו חטאן And Rabbi ...
  • 11.8k
10 votes
Accepted

Wearing special clothes in public while in niddah- isn't this a lack of tznius?

R. Moshe Feinstein has a responsum (Igrot Moshe Y.D. 2:77) with the following question from R. Avraham Chaim Levin: הנה במקום שיש אחרים רואין אם יש דיני הרחקות באשתו נדה שמסתפק כתר"ה דאולי יש ...
  • 48.4k
9 votes

How to tactfully circumvent opposite-gender handshake

A related question was recently on The Workplace, and one of the answers there offered a phrasing I like. While dodging the physical interaction (more about that in a moment), you can say "I'm sorry, ...
9 votes

What's with Rus sleeping over with Boaz?

Ok so here are some answers some from me and many based on Rav Yosef Deutsch's Let me join your nation (Feldheim)... The reason Rus went at night specifically was because it was a given that Boaz ...
  • 23.9k
9 votes

Men: how do you control your reactions to women in immodest dress if you can't avoid them?

Let's examine the converse of the question... Suppose you have to deal with a person that is horribly disfigured from birth, disease or an accident. Do you treat them with any less personal respect ...
  • 99
9 votes

Why can men wear pants if pants are immodest?

It seems to me that the answer to your question is that a man's spreading his legs is not as suggestive a position as the posture isn't reminiscent of intercourse (where a woman's spreading her legs ...
  • 95.7k
8 votes

Men: how do you control your reactions to women in immodest dress if you can't avoid them?

I hightly focus on the work's subject when I'm discussing with her about work and I reduce my discussion to the strict minimum. I'm discussing her opinion, not her body. Also, don't take the ...
  • 81
8 votes

Men: how do you control your reactions to women in immodest dress if you can't avoid them?

Concentrate on looking (only) at her face. There is a difficulty in doing this that helps, as well. You can probably notice that her eyes are too closely- or widely-set, or slightly different ...
8 votes

What is the source that forbids indecent dress by women?

I still feel the question of "sources for indecent dress by women" deserves a better treatment than we (including me) provided up to now. So let me try again. In summary the key Torah verse ...
  • 44.2k
8 votes
Accepted

Is it really kosher to "apply" to become a gentile king's wife?

There are several places in the Talmud which assume she was taken by force, e.g. Megillah 15a: לך כנוס את כל היהודים וגו' עד אשר לא כדת אמר רבי אבא שלא כדת היה שבכל יום ויום עד עכשיו באונס ועכשיו ...
  • 31.5k
8 votes
Accepted

Is it proper to supply a picture of a girl prior to dating?

Yes, both R. Chaim Kanievsky and R. Dovid Feinstein have expressed opposition towards this practice, because one can't get to know a picture. See here.
  • 14k
8 votes

Is it modest to compliment a woman on her modesty?

I will give you my opinion as young woman. I think you should not comment her dressing at all whether she dresses modestly or not. You should try to not even look at woman in that way. If a woman in ...
  • 319
8 votes
Accepted

Aren't wigs counterproductive?

Other answers have done well to reference the letter and the spirit of the law. A wig, even a beautiful one, covers both bases. The gemara in Kesubos 72a-b lays out the obligation of a married ...
  • 20.2k
8 votes

Talmud passage relevant to #metoo

The reference is to Sanhedrin 19a where it is recorded that R Yosi enacted in Tzippori that women speak to each other aloud when in the outhouses so men would hear them and know not to come in (which ...
  • 95.7k
8 votes

Mekoros book for עוז והדר לבושה

Based on some Internet research, it appears that the Sefer you are looking for is Levushah Shel Torah, available on Otzar Hachochma here. It is by the same author, and described as "sources and ...
7 votes

Should a woman avoid singing in front of her husband while she is a niddah?

R Yosef Shalom Elyashiv is quoted in Mishmeret HaTaharah (by his student R Moshe Mordechai Karp) Siman 195 footnote 207 and 209 as ruling that if her husband is used to hearing her voice (רגיל בו) and ...
  • 95.7k
7 votes

May a man become a gynecologist?

R Abraham Abraham (Nishmat Avraham, vol. 2, p. 134) writes that "Rav (Shlomo Zalman) Auerbach told me that a man may learn a medical or paramedical profession, since they involve pikuach nefesh". He ...
  • 44.2k
7 votes

married couples never sleeping in the same bed

People are generating a lot of unnecessary fog here, especially with the weird asceticism-within-marriage idea. Let's not go there, please. A couple will need two separate beds for ~12--15 days per ...
  • 128k
7 votes

married couples never sleeping in the same bed

I found this "Halacha" in the Kaf HaChaim, Orach Chaim 240:63 ישכב תמיד במטה מיוחדת בפני עצמו. ואם צריך לשמש לשם מצות פו׳׳ר אחר גמר .השימוש כמו חצי שעה יקום וישוב למטה היוחד לו. אור הצדיקים סי׳ כז׳ ...
  • 2,978
7 votes

Why don't boys and girls socialise in the 'frum' world?

If you really need a Shulchan Aruch which addresses this type of issue, I'll quote from the end of hilchos yom tov siman 529 where the Mechaber just finished talking about simchas yom tov and what bad ...
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