Why ask guest to make kiddush?

Question

In my limited experiences in Baltimore and Lakewood, it seems hosts often ask guests if they would like to "make their own kiddush" with a separate cup of wine. Is there a reason why guests wouldn't want to be yotzei with Kiddush made by the host?

Answer 1

The reason many prefer to make their own Kiddush rather than be yotzei from the host is because of the dictum מצוה בו יותר מבשלוחו - it is preferable to perform a Mitzvah personally [based on Kiddushin 41]. (Pri Megadim, MZ 207)

Others disagree, and claim that the above principle doesn't apply, because hearing Kiddush is better than regular שליחות, because שומע כעונה - it is considered as though he said it himself. (Tosefes Shabbos 273.10)

Many prefer to participate in the Kiddush of the host, because ברוב עם הדרת מלך - it is preferable to have more people participating in the Mitzvah than for each to perform it privately. (See Mishne Berura, 213.3)

Answer 2

I can't speak for why most people who offer do so, or for why most people who accept accept, but I have a friend who both offers guests and accepts when offered as a guest because he has a short attention span, and doesn't want to rely on himself to pay attention to someone else for the entire kiddush. If he does it himself, he'll be better off. Lest a guest have a similarly short attention span, he offers guests. (I don't know if he offers or accepts Shabbos day kiddush, which one only needs to pay attention to about 4 seconds of, but maybe once you space out during the pesukim it's hard to keep track of when to space back in.)

Answer 3

Shulchan Aruch 201,4

צריך לחזור שיתנו לו כוס של ברכה לברך:
A person should go out of his way to be given his own cup of wine of a Mitzva to make his own blessing.

The source is from Nazir 66b the Shulchan Aruch paskens like Rav and Rav Huna that one should jump to say the Brocho himself rather than let someone else say the Brocho and say Amen:

א"ל רב לחייא בריה חטוף ובריך וכן א"ל רב הונא לרבה בריה חטוף ובריך למימרא דמברך עדיף

The Rosh explains clearly:

חטוף כוס של ברכה וכן כל ברכות Grab the oppurtunity to make your own Brocho (rather then say amein) and this applies to all brochos

So when one has his own Cup of wine he should specifically not be Yotzi with someone else rather make his own brocho,

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{And Tosfos Pesachim 106a brings down a Minhag to give each person his own cup to make Kiddush which implies that Each person should ideally have his own cup of wine:

ירושלמי דברכות א"ר אבא בשם רב מסובין אסורין לטעום עד שיטעום המברך ר' יהושע בן לוי אומר שותין אע"פ שלא שתה ולא פליגי מה דא"ר אבהו כשהיו כולן זקוקין לכוס אחד מה דאמר ר' יהושע כשיש לכל אחד כוסו בידו ומשמע נמי אם אין כוסו בידו אפי' שפך מכוס ברכה לכוסות אחרים אין להם לטעום עד שיטעום המברך אבל כשיש לכל אחד כוס א"צ להמתין ולכך הוה גחין ושתי ומכאן יש להוכיח שא"צ לשפוך מכוס של ברכה לשאר כוסות ומיהו היכא דפגימי צריך לשפוך ממנו לשאר כוסות כדי שישתו כולם מכוס שאינו פגום Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi says When each person is holding his own cup of wine while the host is making Kiddush they do not need to wait for the host to drink, rather each person can drink from his own cup straight away unless their cups are deficient in which case one must pour from the hosts cup into their cups (before the host drinks and his cup also becomes Pagum-deficient) Rabbi Aba says if there is only one cup available fro the host, one must not taste the hosts cup of wine before he has tasted it himself after having made Kiddush.

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The Pri Megadim misquoted in another answer that Shomea ka-oneh means one should always do Kiddush oneself rather than be a listener. This does not apply with Kiddush on friday night before the meal Since men have said Kiddush in Amida, they have already fulfilled their obligation of making Kiddush themselves. So there absolutely no problem to listen to the baal habayis making Kiddush again.

Answer 4

When different people (groups and families, usually) eat together, there are those who believe that the males (or head male) of each group should say kiddush for their group (or themselves) instead of relying on the host's recitation of kiddush. This is the reason why some hosts will offer their guests the opportunity to make kiddush on their own but then will proceed to make their own kiddush as well.

Source: Shulchan Aruch Harav, Orach Chaim 271:30