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Questions tagged [social-convention]

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4
votes
1answer
93 views

Asking the husband about the wife אַיֵּה שָׂרָה אִשְׁתֶּךָ - what are the views of contemporary poskim?

Rashi on Braishis 18 (9) says We learn that a person should ask in his lodging place of the husband about the wife, and of the wife about the husband The Shulchan Oruch Horav says One may ...
6
votes
3answers
230 views

Why ask guest to make kiddush?

In my limited experiences in Baltimore and Lakewood, it seems hosts often ask guests if they would like to "make their own kiddush" with a separate cup of wine. Is there a reason why guests wouldn't ...
2
votes
1answer
50 views

Why do people respond “Gam L'mar”?

During this past Rosh Hashanna and Yom Kippur, whenever I wished someone Shanah Tovah or (G'mar) Chatimah Tovah s/he responded Gam L'mar. I don't recall having heard that before this year. Doesn't ...
2
votes
3answers
91 views

Greeting other people (Jews and Non-Jews alike)

At work, some amount of interaction is inevitable. There are some people that I just don't feel like greeting. What is the Jewish view on this issue? What does the Halachah say about 'greeting one ...
3
votes
2answers
96 views

Gemar Hatima Tova vs. Hatima Tova vs. Gemar Tov

When do we wish Gemar Hatima Tova , Hatima Tova and Gemar Tov? What are the differences between the three? Does it relate to the High Holiday schedule?
7
votes
1answer
105 views

History of chattan & kallah classes

A common practice in some segments of today's Jewish world is for brides and grooms to attend "Chattan/kallah classes" where the attendees receive instruction and advice on relationship dynamics and ...
3
votes
2answers
87 views

What is the best way to correct someone who has unwittingly violated halacha in public?

At a recent shul kiddush on shabbat I witnessed someone perform a melacha seemingly on purpose two or three times. It was clear to me that this person was unaware of a certain halacha. I did not know ...
7
votes
1answer
562 views

Is there a salutation/greeting recognizing the last day of Channukah for my Jewish friends?

Is there a salutation/greeting recognizing the last day of Channukah for my Jewish friends? At the beginning of this holiday, I wish them well. Is there a similar phrase that I should use as this ...
-1
votes
2answers
89 views

Is Hashem polite? [closed]

This question might be a bit weird, but here's what inspired it. In an internet forum I frequent, someone posted a wall of text (that is, a long post without any line breaks or paragraphs). I pointed ...
1
vote
0answers
84 views

Issues with drinking with non-Jewish coworkers [duplicate]

I work at a company with many non-Jews and often we will go out to celebrate milestones we hit. What are the issues with going out to drink with them if I order a bottle of unopened beer ?
10
votes
1answer
576 views

First use of modern names for books of Torah

Today, it is common practice to use Bereshis, Shemos, Vayikra, Bamidbar, Devarim as the names of the five books of the Torah, but this was not always the case. As an example, the Talmud refers to ...
1
vote
0answers
54 views

What is Invitation? [closed]

It seems to be a Jewish custom (even great Rabbis do it) to invite people to at least weddings (maybe also bar mitzvah (but maybe not to a bris) What is the idea of this invitation? Is it a command ...
6
votes
1answer
322 views

Source of phrase “tizkeh l'mitzvos”

I have noticed that when I give money to people who collect in shul, they often respond by saying "tizkeh l'mitzvos." Are there any sources before relatively recently for using this phrase?
4
votes
0answers
34 views

Where does the phrase בס"ד come from? [duplicate]

People will sometimes mark their papers with the phrase בס"ד or ב"ה, I know what they mean but where does the idea of putting them on comes from. Is there and basis in the Torah or do any Rabbis have ...
2
votes
1answer
286 views

Standard engagement timeframe in modern Orthodox and Yishivish circles

I am recently new to this shidduchim scene and I am wondering what standard engagement timeframes are for the out-of-town modern orthodox and Yishivish circles. Once a couple becomes engaged how long ...
0
votes
0answers
42 views

Looking for source for “B'ragshei tza'ar gadol.”

A friend has written a note, "Hamakom y'nachem etchem b'toch sh'ar aveilai Tzion vi'Yerushalayim," which I understand. Then he has written, "B'ragshei tza'ar gadol." In the throes of a great sorrow? ...
9
votes
1answer
143 views

Is it better to say a blessing quietly or loudly?

Often I have lunch with colleagues, most of whom are not religious (and sometimes some of them are not Jewish). When I say the short blessing before eating, is it better to say it loudly or quietly? ...
2
votes
0answers
34 views

Zissin Pesach - Where does this phrase come from?

What is the history of wishing a zissin - sweet Pesach? Was this purposely created, as someone once told me, in contrast to wishing a Chag kosher vesameach?
2
votes
1answer
94 views

A Bar Mitzvah question

A friend asked me if I would ask you for your help. He was wondering if all boys in Conservative sects give a d'var on their bar Mitzvah, or is that not until after the bar Mitzvah? Thoughts please? ...
0
votes
3answers
154 views

Is there an issue of arrogance to wear Tfilin Rabenu Tam

I have been putting on tefilin shel Rashi for many years and a friend recently said I should start putting on Tefilin Rabenu Tam as well. The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch says that only the especially pious ...
3
votes
1answer
320 views

What age is the kapoteh donned in Chabad circles?

The kapoteh is a long black frock coat worn by some Lithuanian Jews and Chabad Chassidim. It is very similar to a bekishe. I was wondering what age do most Chabad Chassidim start wearing the kapoteh. ...
4
votes
1answer
234 views

Should Jewish men be courteous to women in public?

I always heard that it is not modest to publicly be courteous to woman (if a Jewish woman needs help you should help her, but if she does not, just you are holding the door for her or giving her the ...
0
votes
2answers
193 views

Title to use when addressing a rav

When speaking to the rav of a community, what title should one use? "Hello, Rabbi X" would surely be acceptable for someone with regular semicha, but perhaps not for a person who is referred to as "...
4
votes
1answer
100 views

What does LAYT stand for?

I received a letter from a rabbi, in his capacity of leading a Jewish institution, that opened with Dear _____, LAYT I assume, given the context, that "LAYT" is some sort of Jewish blessing or ...
1
vote
1answer
140 views

Why do we use the masculine form in a Shabbat greeting?

My Israeli friend explained to me that the word "שבת" is a feminine word, since the plural uses the feminine ending - it is שבתות. If this is true, why is a common greeting שבת שלום ומבורך using the ...
3
votes
1answer
145 views

Hospitalized - visit by my Rabbi

I am a member of a Chabad shul here in an Asian capital city. Most members of our wonderfully diverse Jewish community are not Hasidic. This is so in my case. I now find myself in a local hospital run ...
0
votes
2answers
167 views

How to divide the honors at a wedding?

How are the kibudim at a typical Yeshivish American chasuna divided up between the choson's side and the kallah's side?
6
votes
1answer
388 views

How to suggest a kosher restaurant for a meeting?

A colleague suggested a restaurant for a meeting which is not glatt kosher or non kosher. What is a good way to recommend a different restaurant which is glatt kosher without offending him? Would a ...
8
votes
3answers
396 views

Are “Vorts” just engagement parties?

Is the typical "vort" that is celebrated in many Orthodox communities when a couple gets engaged of any actual significance from a Jewish perspective (Halachic / Hashkafic) or is it just a way of ...
23
votes
11answers
5k views

Is there such a thing as “too Orthodox”?

When my family started attending the local synagogue we stuck out like a sore thumb. We moved from a Jewish area of Toronto to a small town with one Synagogue. I cover Everything, my husband was the ...
1
vote
2answers
106 views

Is it correct to read the pasuk of Deuteronomy 15:11 with the “never” term?

In one of the Torah Readings for the eighth day of Pesach, falling in a week day, there's the following passukim (Deuteronomy 15:10-11) י  נָתוֹן תִּתֵּן לוֹ, וְלֹא-יֵרַע לְבָבְךָ בְּתִתְּךָ לוֹ:  ...
5
votes
1answer
459 views

“Hamakom” after shiv'a

In my experience, for the most part, "‏המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים" is said to a mourner specifically during shiv'a. However, I've heard some people say it after shiv'a, particularly ...
5
votes
2answers
1k views

What's a common blessing given to people at a bar mitzvah?

What is a common blessing given to the bar mitzvah boy when attending his bar mitzvah? What is a common blessing given to the friends and family of the bar mitzvah boy when attending a bar mitzvah?
0
votes
2answers
208 views

What's a common blessing given to people at a wedding?

What is a common blessing given to the bride and groom when attending a Jewish wedding? What is a common blessing given to the family and friends of the bride and groom when attending a Jewish ...
0
votes
2answers
3k views

What's a common blessing given to people at a brit milah?

What is a common blessing given to the father/mother of the child receiving the circumcision when attending a brit milah (circumcision)? What is a common blessing given to the friends and relatives ...
-1
votes
1answer
70 views

Does the Torah want you to be social?

In Pirkei Avot 1:15 it says: And receive every man with a pleasant countenance. What exactly is meant by this advice and how far does it extend? Should you be going out of your way to socialize? ...
3
votes
2answers
329 views

When did shuckling begin?

There was nothing that I could locate in Mishnah Berurah or similar halachic sources that indicates that one should shuckle (sway) during prayers. When did this custom begin, and why? I notice that ...
6
votes
3answers
6k views

What is an appropriate greeting for Yom Kippur?

What is an appropriate greeting for Yom Kippur? "Hag Sameach" doesn't seem to work. Is it "Have a good fast," or something similar? I'm interested in knowing Hebrew and English.
11
votes
3answers
2k views

What's an appropriate greeting for Motzei Yom Kippur?

What's an appropriate way to greet people after Yom Kippur? It seems to be a little late for g'mar chatima tovah, and many people associate shvua tov with Motzei Shabbat.
5
votes
2answers
2k views

Is it modest to compliment a woman on her modesty?

Most women in my surroundings dress quite immodestly, unfortunately. But, sometimes, a woman does dress modestly. Is it a good idea to tell her something like "I like your long dress" or "It suits you ...
3
votes
1answer
156 views

Was referring to a Jewish firstborn son as “____ bar [mother's name]” insulting in the first century?

There is a passage in the Christian "gospels" in which Jesus is referred to by his community in an unusual way. The text [Mark 6:3] was originally written in Greek, but the English translation is: ...
10
votes
1answer
1k views

What happens at an Orthodox Bat Mitzvah?

My cousins are Orthodox (black-hat/yeshivish/live in Passaic) and one of them is having a Bat Mitzvah in November. I have never attended an Orthodox Bat Mitzvah, so I don't really know what to expect. ...
7
votes
3answers
2k views

What is the correct response to “Chazaq u'Baruch!”?

When a person gets an aliyah or other synagogue privilege the congregants of an Ashkenazic synagogue generally thanks him by saying "Shokyach!" or "Yasherkoach!" to which he responds "Baruch Tehiye!". ...
3
votes
0answers
2k views

Is there a misnomer about using the greeting “Chodesh Tov” on erev Rosh Chodesh?

Is there something improper with saying "Chodesh Tov" on erev Rosh Chodesh or should one only use the greeting "Erev Tov" instead? The reason I ask is that I've noticed historically whenever I say "...
2
votes
2answers
165 views

How to tactfully make food blessings in front of a gentile?

Say you're in a business meeting with a gentile. Food is served (kosher of course!). How can you go about reciting the before and after blessings without causing any embarrassment or awkwardness to ...
3
votes
1answer
100 views

BS"D on documents for secular/non-Jewish audiences

Many Jews write BS"D or בס"ד (standing for בסיעתא דשמיא meaning "with God's help") or something similar at the top of all documents. As far as I am aware, there is no halacha that requires anything ...
4
votes
1answer
202 views

Uniqueness of the phrase “Shabbat Shalom”

Why does only Shabbat get described as "Shalom," as in the greeting "Shabbat Shalom"? I don't hear anyone saying "Yom Tov Shalom" or "Purim Shalom", etc.
6
votes
1answer
150 views

Daddy, is this story true?

My daughter was reading a parsha book and came across a certain medrash which seemed unbelievable prompting her to ask me 'daddy, is this story real?' Being that she is only nine I took the cheap way ...
9
votes
4answers
2k views

What is a friendly alternative to the word “brother” that can be used by a Muslim to address a devoted Jewish man [closed]

My boss and I are Muslims, one day some brave Jewish man walked into our shop and asked if we can do business together. I say brave as he is a conservative religion-wise you can tell from the way he ...
5
votes
0answers
47 views

What to do with discarded shemittah produce of co-workers

I currently work in an environment where colleagues (irreligious and/or not Jewish) are consuming produce that has shemittah sanctity. They often throw their left over food directly in the bin with ...