Are there any Halachic issues with giving a girl a ring while asking her to marry him? Are there any sources that discuss the sha'alah of safek Kiddushin, etc?

  • Are there witnesses?
    – Double AA
    May 25, 2014 at 15:15
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    either way - where can I find mekorot for this?
    – user5303
    May 25, 2014 at 15:25
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    I heard somewhere that it's safest to have in mind that it's not for Kiddushin, just in case. Don't remember where I heard this, sorry.
    – Shmuel
    May 25, 2014 at 17:40
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    From my notes: One should not offer a ring and say “will you marry me” whiled dating as a joke, because the women might need a get mi’safek. One should also be careful when getting engaged not to say “will you marry me” and hand over a ring in front of witnesses. Rema – We look at the action. If it looks like a marriage, it is.
    – Shmuel
    May 25, 2014 at 17:55
  • As I found while asking this question, apparently it's a dispute between the Bavli and the Yerushalmi (look in the end, item כ"ד). May 25, 2014 at 19:50

1 Answer 1


The Lubavitcher Rebbe specifically discouraged giving a ring at any time during the engagement. (The practice in Chabad is to give the diamond ring* in the Cheder HaYichud after the Chuppa, and even other gifts are not given directly, or at least not with witnesses).

This is apparently explained at length in a Sicha of Nasso 5741, but I couldn't find it in the online transcript.

*As far as I know, this idea was an invention of De Beers

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    Eliezer gave gifts to Rivka? May 26, 2014 at 13:19
  • @c.benyosef, as far as I know that is called kiddusin in some places.
    – Yishai
    May 26, 2014 at 13:29
  • The reason you can't find it is because the citation is to Ki Tisa 5741 not Nasso
    – Leo
    Mar 18, 2016 at 17:08
  • Here is a link to the citation: hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=4627&st=&pgnum=534
    – Leo
    Mar 18, 2016 at 17:39

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