Are there any Halachic issues with giving a girl a ring while asking her to marry him? Are there any sources that discuss the sha'alah of safek Kiddushin, etc?
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Are there witnesses?– Double AA ♦Commented May 25, 2014 at 15:15
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1either way - where can I find mekorot for this?– user5303Commented May 25, 2014 at 15:25
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1I heard somewhere that it's safest to have in mind that it's not for Kiddushin, just in case. Don't remember where I heard this, sorry.– ShmuelCommented May 25, 2014 at 17:40
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1From my notes: One should not offer a ring and say “will you marry me” whiled dating as a joke, because the women might need a get mi’safek. One should also be careful when getting engaged not to say “will you marry me” and hand over a ring in front of witnesses. Rema – We look at the action. If it looks like a marriage, it is.– ShmuelCommented May 25, 2014 at 17:55
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As I found while asking this question, apparently it's a dispute between the Bavli and the Yerushalmi (look in the end, item כ"ד).– PixelArtDragonCommented May 25, 2014 at 19:50
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1 Answer
The Lubavitcher Rebbe specifically discouraged giving a ring at any time during the engagement. (The practice in Chabad is to give the diamond ring* in the Cheder HaYichud after the Chuppa, and even other gifts are not given directly, or at least not with witnesses).
This is apparently explained at length in a Sicha of Nasso 5741, but I couldn't find it in the online transcript.
*As far as I know, this idea was an invention of De Beers
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@c.benyosef, as far as I know that is called kiddusin in some places.– YishaiCommented May 26, 2014 at 13:29
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The reason you can't find it is because the citation is to Ki Tisa 5741 not Nasso– LeoCommented Mar 18, 2016 at 17:08
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Here is a link to the citation: hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=4627&st=&pgnum=534– LeoCommented Mar 18, 2016 at 17:39