Most of the haggadah texts that I have seen have the form without the 'and'
וּלְפִי שֶׁהוֹצִיא אֶת־עַצְמוֹ מִן הַכְּלָל, כָּפַר בָּעִקָּר
Chabad translates this as
The wicked son, what does he say? "What is this service to you?"7 [By
saying,] "to you," [he implies]: "but not to himself." Since he has
excluded himself from the people at large, he denies the foundation of
our faith
Thus the very fact that he excludes himself from the Bnai Yisrael means that he is denying Hashem and what has been done for us. That is one of the reasons given for the answer, that he would not have been redeemed from Mitzrayim with the rest of us had he been alive then.
This is shown in the Mechiltah as explained The Wicked Son in the Passover Haggadah Excerpt from "Emanations"
Rabbi Ari Kahn
Rabbi Kahn's profile and about page show who he is and the source of this posting.
This article goes into detail and discusses (among other things) the difference created by the use of the one letter vav and brings up an historical basis for the two formulations. I have quoted parts of the article but one should read the entire posting. Note also the following footnotes in the original article. Unfortunately, my blogger account did not allow me to actually go to the pages linked in the footnotes on the original post, so I did not link them here.
[1] See the comments of Rav Dovid Zvi Hoffman to Dvarim, where the change from “you” to “us”, is explained exegetically. Also see the discussion by Rav Kasher in Haggada Shelama.
[2] It is difficult to establish the authoritative version of these texts - see the discussion in the HaYerushalmi Kiphshuto by Saul Liebermann page 520.
[3] See Gedalyahu Alon, “The Jews in Their Land in The Talmudic Age” page 295 note 28, pp. 305-306
The Mechiltah actually has
רשע מה הוא אומר מה העבודה הזאת לכם לכם ולא לו ולפי שהוציא את עצמו מן
הכלל וכפר בעיקר אף אתה הקהה את שיניו ואמור לו בעבור זה עשה ה' לי בצאתי
ממצרים (שמות יג ח) לי ולא לך אלו היית שם לא היית נגאל. (מכילתא דרבי
ישמעאל בא - מס' דפסחא בא פרשה יח ד"ה "והיה כי")
‘To you’ and not to himself. And because he separated himself from the
community and he rejects that which is essential [i.e., is guilty of
heresy]…
Rabbi Kahn goes into detail as to the difference between the Mechiltah and the Yerushalmi.
We may go so far as to say that the sages had a specific typology of
evil in mind when they formulated this Midrash, someone who would have
cited verses, but would have twisted them to serve their own purpose.
Rabbi Kahn elaborates
Interestingly, the Mechilta offers this teaching anonymously, while
the Yerushalmi presents this teaching in the name of Rav Chiya. The
version in the Mechilta is certainly the original source, as Rav Chiya
in the Yerushalmi makes reference to it.
תני ר' חייה כנגד ארבע' בני' דיברה תור' בן חכם בן רשע בן טיפש בן שאינו
יודע לשאל.. בן רשע מהו אומר מה העבודה הזאת לכם מה הטורח הזה שאתם
מטריחין עלינו בכל שנה ושנה (בכי"ל שעה ושעה) מכיון שהוציא את עצמו מן
הכלל אף אתה אמור לו בעבור זה עשה ד' לי. לי עשה לאותו האיש לא עשה אילו
היה אותו האיש במצרים לא היה ראוי להיגאל משם לעולם (תלמוד ירושלמי מסכת
פסחים פרק י דף לז עמוד ד /ה"ד)
What is this service to you [or, of yours]? What is this toil with
which we are burdened each and every year (Lieden manuscript reads
“hour”)? Since he separated himself from the community you say to him…
Rav Chiya clearly utilizes the teaching in the Mechilta, as can be
seen from his second sentence, “Since he separated himself from the
community,” a statement which does not relate to the efficacy of
‘service’ and is a clear reflection of the Mechilta’s understanding of
the wicked son’s crime of separation. Thus, Rav Chiya created a new
teaching which compounded the rebellion of the rashsa: Not only is he
guilty of separating himself from the community, he also questions the
necessity of the Paschal service.
The sages who formulated the Mechilta had consciously created their
own teaching in a similar manner. They rejected the biblical response
to the son and insisted that such a question, such a questioner, is
wicked, apparently reacting to the philosophical trends which must
have been current during the formation of the Midrash and served as
the model for this dialogue. There must have been dissidents on the
fringe of the Jewish community who articulated their ideology in this
manner.
We may attempt to identify each of these wicked sons historically,
with early Judeo-Christian sects who deviated from the Jewish
mainstream at the time our sources were developed. Scholars have
traced the theological development of various distinct streams of
thought which later branched off from Judaism completely. Two of the
major trends of thought espoused by these groups are voiced precisely
by the wicked sons in each of our sources: One Judeo-Christian sect
considered itself completely "Jewish," but would not take sides
politically in the struggle against Rome. To this sect, our Sages may
very well have said:
To you and not to himself. And because he separated himself from the
community and he rejects that which is essential [i.e., is guilty of
heresy]…
The sages condemn this political neutrality as incompatible with
Jewish identity: One who separates himself from Jewish destiny also
cuts himself` off from Jewish history. He can- not remain in the
religious community if he takes no part in the historical community
and does not feel the historical continuity which begins with the
Exodus and culminates in the final messianic redemption. Such a Jew,
the sages of the Mechilta intimate, would not have been redeemed from
Egypt; such a Jew would possibly have expressed sympathy for Egypt. He
may even have refused to take part in the Exodus.
However, Rabbi Kahn discusses the two meanings caused by the use of 'and' or its removal and points out that this is due to the to the problems caused by the 'rasha' throught our history.
The sages who later compiled the Haggadah created their own unique
teaching by dropping off one letter which appears in the Mechilta. The
Mechilta version has an extra letter (in the Hebrew text; in the
English it becomes an entire word) as compared to the version in the
Haggada. The Haggada equates the wicked son’s heresy with his
separation from the community:
To you and not to himself. And because he separated himself from the
community, he rejects that which is essential [i.e., is guilty of
heresy].
In the Mechilta the word “and” (in Hebrew, the letter “Vav”) is added:
he separates himself, in addition to already being guilty of heresy!
First, this son accepted the Christian belief. Now, he separates
himself from the community:
רשע מה הוא אומר מה העבודה הזאת לכם לכם ולא לו ולפי שהוציא את עצמו מן
הכלל וכפר בעיקר אף אתה הקהה את שיניו ואמור לו בעבור זה עשה ה' לי בצאתי
ממצרים (שמות יג ח) לי ולא לך אלו היית שם לא היית נגאל. (מכילתא דרבי
ישמעאל בא - מס' דפסחא בא פרשה יח ד"ה והיה כי)
To you and not to himself. And because he separated him self from the
community and he rejects that which is essential [i.e., is guilty of
heresy]…
The Haggadah, in omitting the word “and”, subtly changes the message
brought across by Rav Hiya in the Yerushalmi. The wicked son is now
guilty solely of separating himself from the community; the issues of
Christian belief are no longer the current problems which the sages
sought to battle.
The wicked son of the Yerushalmi has other historical parallels in
Judeo-Christian theology. We know of the early Christians' objection
to the entire practice of sacrifice, and of the particular
significance they credited to the Pesach sacrifice. It is not
difficult for us to associate the Christian concept of the
obsolescence of sacrifice after the crucifixion with the point of view
of the wicked son in the Yerushalmi. In stressing the word “service”,
he asks specifically why the sacrifice must continue to be offered
year after year; implying that its utility is outdated. The new symbol
of redemption, the “ultimate Paschal lamb”, has made continued
sacrifice unnecessary according to this view. It is to this specific
claim that the Sages in the Yerushalmi respond:
G-d acted for me; for me and not for that man. Had that man been in
Egypt he would not have been worthy of redemption from there for
eternity.
'That man', אותו האיש , the Christian answer to Paschal sacrifice, was
not himself worthy of redemption; it would therefore be absurd to
believe that his life or his death could redeem others. This is the
theological answer to Judeo-Christian theology.
It is fascinating to trace Rav Chiya’s adaptation of the earlier
teaching to match the rasha of his own day. In a sense, this process
of adaptation has been applied for generations. The rasha remains a
dissident, either at the edge of, or outside of the Jewish community.
Mainly through artistic representations, we have clear evidence how
the face of the rasha has evolved, to match that which was considered
askance in a particular place or time.
The rasha in the Mechilta “won” over his relative in the Yerushalmi,
and serves as the direct source for the formulation incorporated in
the Haggadah, most likely for a number of reasons: The Mechilta
enjoyed a greater sphere of influence, it represents the original
formulation, and its teaching seems somewhat broader. Nonetheless, we
have noted the slight change which was made upon incorporation in the
Haggada, labeling the wicked son’s separation as his heresy as opposed
to being in addition to his heresy. Ostensibly, this change was made
in order to fashion a generic rasha who could be used as an example of
infamy at Sedarim for millennia.