If a person wants to do tshuva of the sexual sins committed, besides stopping the sin and asking G'd forgiveness, should the person also ask sorry to each woman that he had an inappropriate relationship?

  • Do you mean due to the fact that their sin involved making others sin too?
    – Seth J
    Jun 27, 2013 at 14:24
  • Yes. "inappropriate relationship"
    – juanora
    Jun 27, 2013 at 15:16
  • is there reason you feel there's a difference between this and any other conspiracy/partnership in sinning?
    – Seth J
    Jun 27, 2013 at 17:04
  • Like if a person rob someone with a partner? Yes. Some differences. This case the sin just is committed by the agreement of both.
    – juanora
    Jun 27, 2013 at 19:06
  • 1
    Lashon hara is a good one! Should the person ask to the listener forgiveness?
    – juanora
    Jun 28, 2013 at 5:45

1 Answer 1


If you wronged them in a matter between one person and another, then obviously yes. Just as if you'd embezzled funds from someone or broken their heart.

If they were perfectly happy with the act then I don't know what an apology is trying to accomplish. E.g. if I went out with my buddy Ted and we ate cheeseburgers, I need to confess to G-d and repent for it. Now if I talked Ted into eating a cheeseburger when he didn't want to, I should apologize; but if Ted very happily eats cheeseburgers all the time, then what am I supposed to say to Ted? "Ted, you sinned when we ate cheeseburgers?" That's not an apology, that's rebuke. (Which is a different question...)

  • not talking about breaking hearts... but the thing is that I put the cheeseburger in Teds mouth. But Ted was wanting. And I was too. And both committed the same sin with the act. Is not enough that I already have to forgive myself to G'd, I still have to ask Ted forgiveness?
    – juanora
    Jun 27, 2013 at 19:12
  • If Ted doesn't feel he was wronged, then no.
    – Shalom
    Jun 27, 2013 at 19:33
  • Yes? If I lie to Ted and say: eat this meat is kosher. Ted will not feel he was wronged. The question is about me, not Ted. Should I ask forgiveness to use a woman for my sin, making her also commit a sin??
    – juanora
    Jun 28, 2013 at 5:49
  • Please reread my answer. Assuming this was someone who was just as willing and able to mess up with you as with the next guy, the repentance process here is strictly between the individual and G-d. What you're describing is not an "apology" to a person who feels wronged, and frankly I don't see it accomplishing anything good. You're trying to deal with your own guilt by vomiting it on someone else. Unless you're trying to preach to someone to improve their ways, which is a whole different ball of wax.
    – Shalom
    Jun 28, 2013 at 7:23
  • @juanora I think part of the problem is that you are being unclear about what kind of sin you are talking about, exactly. For example, "sexual sins" could be anything from adultery to sexual contact with a family member to rape.
    – Daniel
    Aug 26, 2013 at 17:40

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