I am currently married to a Jewish woman who is non-observant. I wish to convert to normative Orthodox Judaism and be observant. My wife is agreeable to study with me and keep a jewish home. My wife does not agree to head coverings, Orthodox dress, not driving on Shabbos etc.
Would ANY Orthodox Rabbi allow a conversion in which the convert's spouse is Jewish and largely non-observant?
Greetings and welcome to J.SE.
Many born-Jewish couples have worked out agreements whereby one spouse's level of observance is higher than another's. Some of the biggest questions involve matters that affect both of them; most significantly, taharat hamishpacha ("family purity" laws, which will affect both of you), and anything involving children -- at what level of observance will they be raised? How will the variation between Mom and Dad be explained to them? So expect those questions to come up a lot; hopefully you and your wife have already had some of those conversations.
These come up often in couples where both are born Jewish and over time, one decides to increase their level of observance; it can be done, but it takes a lot of clear communication, understanding, and patience.
Most Orthodox conversion rabbis will expect the conversion candidate to move within walking distance of an Orthodox synagogue; even if your wife drives on Shabbos, can you make that work?
At a minimum, the candidate must have ongoing, reasonable accessibility to the institutions of Orthodox life; e.g., a mikveh, an Orthodox day school through 12th grade, kosher food, and live within walking distance to an Orthodox minyan that meets regularly each Shabbat and Yom Tov.
I would start off having some of these conversations with your wife; once you feel you have answers that satisfy both of you, I think you can explain your situation to a rabbi and it will be at least worth some serious consideration.
Here's how the Rabbinical Council of America words their policy (note the nuance):
When a candidate is previously intermarried or is converting for the sake of an individual Jew (as per above), the spouse’s observance level and attitudes must be consistent with the present and future Torah observance of the candidate and not be a source of conflict or opposition to the convert’s adopting a halachic lifestyle. The Beit Din should also consider whether other significant individuals in the candidate’s life such as parents, or any existing minor children, will have an impact on the success or failure of the process and the aftermath of conversion.
So be prepared for some tough questions about how it will work ... but I wouldn't say it's impossible.
When my husband inquired of the orthodox (RCA) Beit din, he was told that conversion would not be permitted unless I (a born Jew) agreed to become halachically observant as well. Truthfully, the Beit din appeared to be more concerned about my level of committment than his because I used to be frum and went "off the derech" and married a non-Jew. I agreed to return to the path, and my husband did convert and we are now both completely observant.
you might have to convince te beis din that your conversion is not merely "to keep your Jewish wife" since this could prove problematic
