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I have a family member who absolutely refuses to drink products made from grapes - wine, grape juice, etc. - because it "makes them feel strange (and tired)."

During Shabbos they usually either have someone else drink their cup or they say kiddush over challah.

But what about the daled kosos? If someone absolutely refuses to drink grape products, even a little bit, what should be done? Is there an acceptable replacement for the wine/grape juice?

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  • Related: judaism.stackexchange.com/q/56622/8775
    – mevaqesh
    Commented Apr 7, 2017 at 21:43
  • @mevaqesh Looks like a dupe
    – Double AA
    Commented Apr 7, 2017 at 22:37
  • @DoubleAA I wasn't sure since this question asks about someone averse to wine, whereas that one asks specifically in a case where there is no wine.
    – mevaqesh
    Commented Apr 7, 2017 at 23:35

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The Shulhan Arukh (483:1) states that b'diavad one can rely on other beverages if they are hamar medinah. He is discussing a case where wine is not available:

מִי שֶׁאֵין לוֹ יַיִן בְּלֵיל פֶּסַח, מְקַדֵּשׁ עַל הַפַּת שֶׁמְּבָרֵךְ הַמּוֹצִיא וּבוֹצֵעַ, וּמַנִּיחַ יָדָיו עָלָיו עַד שֶׁגּוֹמֵר הַקִּדּוּשׁ, וּמְבָרֵךְ עַל אֲכִילַת מַצָּה, וְאוֹכֵל, וְאַחַר כָּךְ אוֹכֵל שְׁאָר יְרָקוֹת וּמְסַלֵּק הַשֻּׁלְחָן וְאוֹמֵר מַה נִּשְׁתַּנָּה וְכָל הַהַגָּדָה עַד גָּאַל יִשְׂרָאֵל, וּמְבָרֵךְ עַל הַמָּרוֹר, וְאוֹכֵל, וְאַחַר כָּךְ כּוֹרֵךְ מַצָּה וּמָרוֹר, וְאוֹכֵל. הַגָּה: בְּלֹא בְּרָכָה. וּבִמְקוֹמוֹת שֶׁנּוֹהֲגִים לִשְׁתּוֹת מַשְׁקֶה הַנַּעֲשֶׂה מִדְּבַשׁ שֶׁקּוֹרִין מע''ד, יָכוֹל לִקַּח אוֹתוֹ מַשְׁקֶה לְאַרְבַּע כּוֹסוֹת אִם אֵין לוֹ יַיִן (מַהֲרִי''ל). וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים שֶׁאֵין עוֹשִׂין קִדּוּשׁ עַל שְׁאָר מַשְׁקִין, כְּמוֹ שֶׁנִּתְבָּאֵר לְעֵיל סי' ער''ב (סָעִיף ט'). וְלִי נִרְאֶה דִּלְעִנְיַן ד' כּוֹסוֹת יֵשׁ לִסְמֹךְ אַמַּאן דְּאָמַר דִּמְקַדְּשִׁין עַל שְׁאָר מַשְׁקִין אִם הוּא חֲמַר מְדִינָה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁנִּתְבָּאֵר לְעֵיל סִימָן ער''ב.

However, regarding the question of whether or not ill-feelings as a result of drinking the four cups is an excuse, note the Yerushalmi Pesahim (10:1) which relates the great discomfort the Ammoraim suffered from the wine they consumed for the four cups:

רבי יונה כדעתיה דרבי יונה שתי ארבעתי כסוי דלילי פסחא וחזיק רישיה עד עצרתה רבי יודה בי רבי אלעי שתי ארבעתי כסוי דלילי פיסחא וחזיק רישיה עד חגא

Regarding, whether or not the Shulhan Arukh's allowance for hamar medinah would apply in a given case, consult your local Orthodox rabbi.

Regarding which drinks are considered hamar medinah, see here. Some drinks included by some poskim as hamar medinah include orange juice, apple juice, and tea.

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  • So roughly speaking, there is nothing one can do to accommodate for someone who refuses to drink wine or grape juice?
    – ezra
    Commented Apr 7, 2017 at 21:32
  • No. One could very likely offer them hamar medinah if this is more to their liking.
    – mevaqesh
    Commented Apr 7, 2017 at 21:36
  • They do not drink any alcoholic beverages. Might there be an alternative to any sort of alcohol/liquor?
    – ezra
    Commented Apr 7, 2017 at 21:37
  • @ezra hamar medinah includes non alcoholic beverages, including any respectable drink that one would present to a guest, according to Igrot Moshe (OH 2:75). See also: shemayisrael.com/parsha/halacha/Volume%206%20Issue%201.pdf.
    – mevaqesh
    Commented Apr 7, 2017 at 21:44

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