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Suppose a non-observant parent gives a (monetary) gift to his/her adult child, but asks that the child not remove 10% to give for tzedaka ("Your mother and I saved this money for you, not for other people.")? What would be the correct halachic response of the child, taking into account the halacha of kibbud av v'eim as well as the halacha of tzedaka?

  1. Agree to the parents' request and don't give ma'aser.

  2. Agree to the request, but give ma'aser anyway (i.e. lie).

  3. Refuse to agree to the request, and give ma'aser against the parents' wishes.

  4. Do not accept the gift.

  5. Something else.

  • This should be tagged with [priorities], but we're out of tags for this question. – Scimonster Nov 1 '14 at 19:08
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Number 1 ( Agree to the parents' request and don't give ma'aser ). That's what Rabbi Dovid Feinstein told me.

The reason he gave for this was that it is a present with a stipulation. He also said that if the gift is large, there is an assumed stipulation and one need not give. His mashal (example) was a car. I asked what's the smallest large amount one can assume this and he answered that for a hundred dollars you can assume they do not mind if you give maaser.

  • Is maaser dependent on whether money or objects are obtained through income, earnings, gifts, receiving tzdakkah, etc. Are any sources exempt from maaser? Take your auto example. Say the gift was a relatively expensive and desirable car that holds it's value over time. The purchase price was $120K. Three years later, the residual value is $110K. The recipient sells the car. Would they then have to give maaser on the $10K. Would they have to be double taxed since they already gave $100 maaser three years earlier? – JJLL Nov 1 '14 at 13:09

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