Upsherin is cutting a boy's hair at or about the age of three for the first time. Is there any 'Inyan (idea) of an Upsherin for girls? Why or why not?
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1Why do you think there should be?– YehoshuaCommented Mar 24, 2013 at 17:19
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2I am assuming you are asking if there are communities that have done/continue to do it for girls. The answer to that is yes, but I am short on sources right now, other than I asked my Rav and he showed me a number of sources that I have since forgotten since adopting the practice in my own family.– Rabbi Michael TzadokCommented Mar 24, 2013 at 17:23
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2what counts as an inyan– Double AA ♦Commented Mar 24, 2013 at 18:01
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1@double aa I'm being deliberately vague, to allow a broad spectrum of answers. Eg., "My rabbi said that in his family his aunt had one but he thought it was weird when she told him," all the way to, "The Upsherinishe Rebbe held that, because women don't have a 'Orlah their hair can be cut even before three years."– Seth JCommented Mar 24, 2013 at 18:48
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1As per judaism.stackexchange.com/a/13208/501: The origins are possibly / probably pagan - and therefore asking questions about an "adopted" Minhag is rather peculiar. Feel free do remold the ceremony as you wish.– Danny SchoemannCommented Jul 28, 2014 at 14:16
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2 Answers
A classic source for the Upsherin is the שערי תשובה in שו"ע או"ח סי' תקלא סק"ז
He says:
המנהג בארץ ישראל לעשות שמחה בתגלחת הראשונה של קטן, שמחנכין אותו במצוה להיות לו פאות הראש.
"The custom in the land of Israel is to make a joyous occasion out of the child's first haircut, when one inaugurates him into the concept of [not destroying] his [Halachic] sideburns."
Since girls do not have the Mitzva of פאות הראש, there would be no sense to making an Upsherin ceremony for them.
answered Dec 23, 2014 at 8:40
if by "Inyan of Upsherin" you mean hair cut then see @Danny Schoemann's answer
but if by "Inyan of Upsherin" you mean the Inyan of chinuch
from this answer
the first haircut is about teaching the child about the Mitzvah of Pe'ot, since we cut the hair and leave the Pe'ot.
Why do most people do it at 3, because age 3 is associated with starting to teach children about Mitzvos (Chinuch).
then some have a custom for girls to light candles at 3.
