I heard today in Shul that there is a Minhag not to give a divorce in the month of Iyar. What is the source and reason for this Minhag?
asked May 5, 2013 at 2:25
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2 Answers
Rama writes, when discussing how to spell the various Hebrew months in a Get (Shulchan Aruch EH 126:7):
אייר, בשני יודי"ן; ואם כתב בחד יו"ד, פסול, אם לא בשעת הדחק. ויש נמנעין ליתן גט באייר, אך במקום הדחק נותנין וכותבין בב' יודי"ן.
Iyar is spelled with two Yuds. If one wrote it with one Yud, it is invalid except in pressing circumstances. Some refrain from giving a Get in Iyar [because of the doubt], but if forced to they will give a Get and spell [Iyar] with two Yuds.
The Aruch haShulchan (bio) notes (EH 126:15) the common practice near him was not to refrain from divorcing in the month of Iyar. I'm told that the Beth Din of America does arrange for divorces in the month of Iyar. I'll also note that the Mechaber (EH 126:23) rules unambiguously that Iyar is spelled with two Yuds, so there doesn't seem to be much room to be stringent in this matter for Sefardim.
answered May 5, 2013 at 2:35
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Pardon my ignorance -- is Ramah saying "don't give a Get in Iyar" to avoid the dispute of how to spell it, or out of concern that people won't properly spell it with two yuds?– ShalomCommented May 6, 2013 at 15:48
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@Shalom No, pardon my ignorance! I didn't even think of that. Let me check the Darkei Moshe now.– Double AA ♦Commented May 6, 2013 at 15:53
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3@Shalom This is the DM after citing that Iyar is spelled with 2 Yuds: ומצאתי כתוב בשם מהר"י מולין דפסק ליתן ב' גיטין באייר מכח ספק ויש נמנעין ליתן גט באייר מכח ספק. I think that supports my read. Thank you for making me check!– Double AA ♦Commented May 6, 2013 at 15:58
To add to what has already been said, I once heard a deeper reason behind the psak of not giving a get in Iyar. One of the themes of Iyar is "Second Chances" - such as -
Pesach Sheini second chance for korban Pesach
Lag BaOmer second chance for Torah, it was on that day Rabbi Akiva decided after all his talmidim died, to start again with five new students
Healing Iyar is an auspicious time for healing, as the acronym Ani Hashem Rofecha suggests. Since a disease (chas veshalom) can be viewed (albeit simplistically) as Hashem urging us to do teshuva, and return to our true path; healing can therefore be seen as a second chance to do what we were meant to do the first time around
It could also be noted- Yom HaAtzmaut, and Yom Yerushalayim fall in Iyar (not hard to think how this fits the theme…)
Therefore, the idea is, since this month is all about "Second Chances" - how could one give a get in Iyar?
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<Therefore, the idea is, since this month is all about "Second Chances" - how could one give a get in Iyar?> Adderabba. NOT giving the get is PREVENTING said second chance [for both parties], particularly when it's clear that the first one failed. And if a certain party is using this to withhold [or, maybe, to not take the get]--then said withholder is not only preventing their counterpart from getting on with the post-get life and the second chance it provides, but showing that there is a lack of aziva and kabalah al ha-asid. If second chances mean anything, and Iyar is about second chances,– user9394Commented May 5, 2015 at 4:40