If someone experiences a frightening thought or dream and s/he says to oneself and to HaShem that this shouldn’t come to pass and s/he will not do such and such aveira from that moment on to prevent it from happening. There is no one around to hear the saying and it is literally just a statement from the person to HaShem, such as for example, “if You not let this happen, I will not do this from now on” etc? Would such a statement be considered a neder and would it be nullifiable? Would this mean you cannot make a neder to abstain from something that was already assur? Can you make a neder to “do less” of it? Are those binding?
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Your question seems very different from the title.– shmoselCommented Oct 30 at 23:39
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1All Jews made an oath at Har Sinai not to commit aveiros, Mishna Shevuos 3:6. Statements like this do not have standing in many cases. sefaria.org/Mishnah_Shevuot.3.6?vhe=Torat_Emet_357&lang=bi– Y DJCommented Oct 31 at 0:17
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So you cannot make a neder to abstain from something that was already assur? Can you make a neder to “do less” of it? Are those binding?– Jodi NeumanCommented Oct 31 at 2:16
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1One can try taking some stringencies if one feels weak in some area to improve oneself.– Y DJCommented Oct 31 at 2:39
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But this would not be considered a neder even if one used the word “promise” in their mind when davening to Hashem?– Jodi NeumanCommented Oct 31 at 3:35
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2 Answers
You ask a few things in your question.
Is a personal kabala between oneself and G-d, verbalised, considered an oath? (Nitpick: the term for a vow to perform or abstain from an action is shevua, not neder)
If yes, is a shevua to perform or abstain from something I am already commanded to do valid?
If yes, what is the effect of this neder?
In order:
- Yes. A shevua does not need witnesses to take effect.
- The gemara in masechet nedarim 8 states that it is possible to make a shevua to fulfil the commandments in the torah, despite being already obligated. The gemara justifies this "כדי לזרוזי נפשיה" - to motivate oneself. However, there may be a distinction between whether the shevua was to perform an action, or to abstain from an action. see 3.
- There is a machloket Rishonim if the shevua has any effect, i.e. to create a prohibition above and beyond the already existing mitzva (which would lead to additional lashes, for example), or if the shevua merely avoids being classified as a shevuat shav (invalid oath).
According to the first opinion, the shevua would only add a prohibition if it was to perform a mitzva, not to abstain from an avera (because of the principle of Ein Issur Chal Al Issur).
One final nugget, the sefer Kehilat ya'akov (harav Kanievsky ZT"L) nedarim 10 writes, tongue-in-cheek, to explain how a shevua to fulfil something you already are obligated to fulfil works. He says that generally, when it comes to sin, people find excuses to justify why their actions are not transgressions - cognitive dissonance. It is in this space, he writes, that the shevua finds a place to take effect - in the mind of the potential sinner.
According to the Ben Ish Chai, the neder is in force, and would require nullification, if you verbalized it. You can always say “bli neder” and with a sincere intention such a statement is far superior to a neder in most cases.
We should avoid nedarim whenever possible. See here: https://halachipedia.com/index.php?title=Hilchot_Nedarim#Precautions_and_Circumstances_for_Taking_Nedarim
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What if you don’t recall whether you verbalized it or not, but have attempted to adhere to it since? Commented Oct 31 at 4:12
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Where does the Ben Ish Chai say a neder to not do a lo taaseh or to do a positive mitzvah is binding?– יהושע קCommented Oct 31 at 9:02
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2@RabbiKaii based on the tefillah for a taanis yachid in the ArtScroll Siddur Ashkenaz: “bli neder” as well as Chazal’s idea that to make a neder is to build a bamah c”v– ShimshonCommented Oct 31 at 22:13