So I’ve heard that brushing your hair regularly on Shabbat is a problem of boneh (building) or gozez (shearing). I also think I heard once that there is a heter to brush as regular if you do so everyday during the week also. Anyone have a source for this?
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Brushing hair on Shabbat is problematic as you risk shearing hair which is gozez. The way out is brought by R Eliezer Melamed (Peninei Halakha Shabbat 14:3). You might have heard that, if you regularly brush your hair during the week and hair doesn't fall out, then it might be easier to permit on Shabbat.
Nevertheless, one who wishes to make one’s hair neater may use a special brush with soft or widely spaced bristles, so that there is a reasonable chance that it will not pull out hair. Then, even if he does happen to pull out hair, he does not violate a melakha. This is because his intention is not to pull out hair, hair will not necessarily be pulled out, and the brush is not muktzeh. In order to make sure it does not look like he is using a prohibited brush, it is advisable to designate a brush for use specifically on Shabbat (see SSK 14:50)
The prohibition of building (boneh) applies to braiding hair (or wigs) for women. See further in Peninei Halacha (as well as the full text for further application, e.g., to peyot)
The Sages forbade braiding hair on Shabbat, because making a braid resembles the melakha of Boneh. Similarly, one may not undo a braid, because this resembles melakha of Soter. One may gather hair into a ponytail, as this does not create a structure. Similarly, one may part one’s hair using one’s hands, but one may not use a brush or comb to do so, as this will pull out hairs (SA 303:26; MB ad loc. 84)