PTIJ: What are my options if a server rejects a POST or PUT request? [closed]

Question

I'm aware that if a server rejects a GET request, such as in the case of a 414 error for the URI being too long, I can force it to fulfill the GET request by having the server beaten, as the Talmud in Yevamos 106a states:

גט מעושה כשר ... הא כיצד טכופין אותו עד שיאמר רוצה אני

a forced GET is valid ... How so? We beat it until it says "I'm willing!"

However, I'm not aware of any such halacha regarding a POST or PUT request. What halachic recourse do I have when a server rejects a POST or PUT request?

---

This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

Answer 1

For Puts you have:

פת במלח תאכל

If you Salt your Put then it will be consumed.

Posts are complicated, that is why the Yiddish expression is:

פאסט נישט

Don't Post.

That is because Put is idempotent, Post is not. G-d is idempotent, as the Rambam says:

ואינו משתנה, שאין לו דבר שיגרום לו שינוי

And it is a Mitzvah to follow G-d's attributes.

Mi Yodeya gets around this problem by only allowing questions, answers and comments, not posts. The legacy of stackexchange sometimes leaves the word post, but it is actually not possible to post like on a message board. Posts will be closed.

Answer 2

Proverbs 17:5:

לעג לראש חרף עשהו / Spurning a HEAD [request] makes you a blasphemer

The appropriate course of action is outlined in the second half of the verse:

שמח לאיד לא ינקה / Be happy, it will not be exempt from steam.

You're supposed to subject such a server to a very humid environment until it fails.

Answer 3

When you encounter such rejection, you must remain calm, and take POST and PUT to the mountains. There, you will find your problems have gone away, and you will thrive like the forest of Lebanon.

For POST:

Tehilim 72.16

יְהִ֤י פִסַּת־בַּ֨ר ׀ בָּאָרֶץ֮ בְּרֹ֪אשׁ הָ֫רִ֥ים יִרְעַ֣שׁ כַּלְּבָנ֣וֹן פִּרְי֑וֹ וְיָצִ֥יצוּ מֵ֝עִ֗יר כְּעֵ֣שֶׂב הָאָֽרֶץ׃
Let POST be in the land, to the tops of the mountains; let his crops thrive like the forest of Lebanon; and let men sprout up in towns like country grass.

For PUT:

In fact, for PUT, the Halacha does not differ. The Targum says:

יְהִי סָעִיד לַחְמָא בְּאַרְעָא בְּרֵישׁ טוּרַיָא יַרְגִישׁ הֵיךְ כְּלִבְנָן אִבֵּיהּ וִינַצְצוּן מִן קַרְתָּא דִירוּשְׁלֶם הֵיךְ עִסְבָּא דְאַרְעָא:

POST is translated as לחמא, which is also known as פת i.e. PUT.