Questions tagged [purim-torah-in-jest]

THIS QUESTION IS ONLY IN JEST. "Purim Torah" is humorous and satirical writings customarily read on the Jewish holiday of Purim. Mi Yodeya has a great collection of Purim Torah, under this tag. For our collection of *real* Q&A about Judaism, see our home page: judaism.stackexchange.com.

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PTIJ Lifnei Iver if you give food to a muslim during Ramadan?

Is it לפני עיוור to send a lot of food into gaza during Ramadan? If so, what if you send it at night? No political answers please, just pure Halachic fake pilpul. This question is Purim Torah and is ...
Ethan Leonard's user avatar
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0 answers
17 views

PTIJ forgot to fast before laser-Mitzvah-versary

When a Jew goes up to the Torah for an Aliyah, he says “blessed… who selected us from all the nations to control his space laser station.” As we all know, a Jew gets his turn controlling the ...
QwertyCTRL.'s user avatar
0 votes
1 answer
52 views

PTIJ: Was Yitzchak Breslov? [closed]

I've been pondering which type of Jew each of the Avos was and I think I have proof to one of them. Genesis 24:63 states, וַיֵּצֵ֥א יִצְחָ֛ק לָשׂ֥וּחַ בַּשָּׂדֶ֖ה לִפְנ֣וֹת עָ֑רֶב -"Yitzchak went ...
TORAHistheikur's user avatar
3 votes
1 answer
421 views

PTIJ: Why do we glorify Pearl Harbor?

I don't think that our educational system should include songs which celebrate war. Is there any discussion why we teach children to sing about the attack on Pearl Harbor as if it was a divine ...
rosends's user avatar
  • 38.2k
12 votes
4 answers
1k views

PTIJ: Guide to being a super hero if you are Jewish

There have been many super heroes in Jewish history. For example, Rivka was actually Batman. See Onkelos on Bereshit 24:23: וַאֲמַר בַּת מָן אַתְּ And he (Eliezer) said "You are Batman" ...
Rabbi Kaii's user avatar
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-1 votes
0 answers
48 views

PTIJ: eating Chametz on pesach

Before Pesach, we say כל חמירא וחמיעא which turns all the Chametz we own into dust. Dust, as we know, is not food and certainly not Chametz. Thus, can one say כל חמירא and then proceed to eat all his ...
Curious Yid's user avatar
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2 votes
0 answers
46 views

PTIJ: What are some customs and traditions of the Yishletu Chasidim?

I haven't met very many Yishletuers, and am looking to get some more information. From what I've heard, their name comes from "yesh l'tu", since they go out of their way to make sure they do ...
bio's user avatar
  • 59
-1 votes
0 answers
58 views

PTIJ: What came first the chicken or the egg? [closed]

What came first the chicken or the egg? The age-old question has bothered people forever. Any opinion from the sages is appreciated. This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken ...
Turk Hill's user avatar
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4 votes
0 answers
76 views

PTIJ: Can my friend be eaten?

My Hebrew is far short of what I would like, so I often must rely on translation. In the translation I read: Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given ...
EvilSnack's user avatar
  • 195
10 votes
6 answers
3k views

PTIJ: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Just wondering if Torah sources have any answer to the world's most timeless and compelling question: why did the chicken cross the road? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken ...
Rabbi Kaii's user avatar
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1 vote
1 answer
166 views

PTIJ: How can we have extra simcha when the trees are brought in if the tree is too big to move?

The gemara says in Taanit (29a): מִשֶּׁנִּכְנַס אדר מַרְבִּין בְּשִׂמְחָה. When adar comes in, we increase simcha. What is an adar? If we look at other places where the same word is used, we find ...
Moshe Katz's user avatar
4 votes
1 answer
114 views

PTIJ: How are we supposed to ever be bisimcha?

Dovid HaMelech tells us in Tehillim (100:2) "עבדו את ה' בשמחה", that we should serve Hashem with happiness. Yet the Mishnah in Taanis (4:6) says "מִשֶּׁנִּכְנַס אָב, מְמַעֲטִין ...
Michael's user avatar
  • 403
5 votes
2 answers
733 views

PTIJ: How did the chickens get involved?

In explaining the various obligations on Purim, the codifiers insist that more than just men are obligated because "af Hen hayu b'oto hanes", even the hens were involved with the same ...
rosends's user avatar
  • 38.2k
5 votes
2 answers
219 views

PTIJ: Why do chasidim say they're Haman before performing mitvos?

I've noticed a very common phrase in Siddurim that is printed before mitzvos such as kiddush levana, birchas hamazon, etc... "הנני ממוכן ומזמן" which translates as "I am hereby '...
TORAHistheikur's user avatar
9 votes
1 answer
555 views

PTIJ: Biden and the towel

The Mishnah says [Shabbat 22:5]: אבל עשרה בני אדם מסתפגין באלונטית אחת פניהם ידיהם ורגליהם, ומביאין אותה בידן. However, ten people may use one towel to dry their faces, hands, and feet, and may ...
Maurice Mizrahi's user avatar

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