Stack Exchange Network

Stack Exchange network consists of 174 Q&A communities including Stack Overflow, the largest, most trusted online community for developers to learn, share their knowledge, and build their careers.

Visit Stack Exchange

Questions tagged [purim-torah-in-jest]

THIS QUESTION IS ONLY IN JEST. "Purim Torah" is humorous and satirical writings customarily read on the Jewish holiday of Purim. Mi Yodeya has a great collection of Purim Torah, under this tag. For our collection of *real* Q&A about Judaism, see our home page: judaism.stackexchange.com.

2
votes
1answer
143 views

PTIJ: What is this secret bush? [closed]

In the musaf amidah ashkenazim say: נַעֲרִיצְךָ וְנַקְדִישְׁךָ כְּסוד שיחַ We praise and exhalt you like a secret bush What is this secret bush? Is it possible the authors of this line were ...
-3
votes
1answer
81 views

PTIJ: Why isn't every day of the year called “Purim”? [closed]

Esther 9:27 says: על כן קראו לימים האלה פורים על שם הפור "Therefore, they called these days (14 and 15 of Adar) "Purim" to commemorate the poor." Why should the name "Purim" be limited to just ...
8
votes
1answer
134 views

PTIJ - Upvoting everyone [closed]

Inspired by the comments to this answer: It is brought down in Halacha Sefarim that כל הפושט יד נותנים לו, anyone who stretches out a hand, we give to him. Does this apply to Mi Yodeya as well? ...
2
votes
1answer
157 views

PTIJ Rabbi Eleazer of Worms [closed]

Rabbi Eleazar Rokeach of Worms was a leading talmudist and the author of the Sefer ha rokeah, which has some fascinating passages regarding teshuvah. I wonder though, is one permitted to serve as a ...
3
votes
2answers
138 views

PTIJ: Where can I find Masechet Bava Maiseh? [closed]

When I was in elementary and high school yeshiva, I learned Masechet באָבע־מעשׂה‎, occasionally. It was an interesting Masechta that had a lot of unusual stories like how numerous people had lost all ...
2
votes
3answers
130 views

PTIJ: Is it permitted to serve mixed drinks at fundraisers? [closed]

Tehillim 107:40 endorses the practice of plying potential donors with alcohol when it says שֹׁפֵךְ בּוּז, עַל-נְדִיבִים but we see from this question that mixed drinks are forbidden under any ...
20
votes
3answers
2k views

PTIJ: How local does my rabbi need to be? [closed]

I've seen several comments on this site that say to check with your local rabbi to get a final decision on what you should practically do. My question is about how local, exactly, my rabbi needs to ...
5
votes
2answers
116 views

PTIJ: Why does Esther complain about Haman's slender enemy? [closed]

King Achashverush asks Esther who is this person who wants to do harm? In Esther 7:6, she responds: איש צר ואויב המן הרע הזה A narrow man and an enemy of this evil Haman Who is this narrow (...
9
votes
5answers
325 views

PTIJ: Requirement for Achashveirosh costume to include a pillow under the shirt [closed]

It is a well-known Torah law that anyone dressing up as Achashveirosh for Purim must include a pillow under his/her shirt as part of the costume. What is the earliest source for this law? Is there ...
3
votes
2answers
212 views

PTIJ: Why does G-d give us honey cake? [closed]

Before returning the Torah to the ark, we say a verse from Mishlei 4:2. כִּ֤י לֶ֣קַח ט֭וֹב נָתַ֣תִּי לָכֶ֑ם... For I have given you a good lekach. (Lekach is essentially, honey cake, commonly eaten ...
7
votes
3answers
101 views

PTIJ: How to make a palace out of people [closed]

I’m confounded by this verse (1:8): גַּ֚ם וַשְׁתִּ֣י הַמַּלְכָּ֔ה עָשְׂתָ֖ה מִשְׁתֵּ֣ה נָשִׁ֑ים בֵּ֚ית הַמַּלְכ֔וּת אֲשֶׁ֖ר לַמֶּ֥לֶךְ אֲחַשְׁוֵרֽוֹשׁ׃ “Also, Queen Vashti made, from two women, the ...
7
votes
6answers
249 views

PTIJ: Two apostates in your Mishloach Manot? [closed]

I've heard many people talking about making sure you include two מינים, apostates, in your Mishloach Manot gifts on Purim. Why is it important to include two apostates in your gifts to friends, and ...
9
votes
3answers
222 views

PTIJ: How do I debug my program? [closed]

While I found a whole bunch of guides on how to remove bugs from my Cabbage, Lettuce, or strawberries, I never found any guide on how to remove bugs from my program? Can someone help me here? Oh, ...
9
votes
7answers
239 views

PTIJ: Why all the obsession with BSD? [closed]

I've seen a lot of Jews write BSD on the top of their papers. It makes sense that they like BSD - it's a fairly robust Operating System, but such obsession? And which BSD do religious Jews support? ...
4
votes
3answers
186 views

PTIJ: Was Yehoshua Jewish? [closed]

The Torah says Yehoshua was "bin Nun", the son of a Catholic nun. Does this mean that Yehoshua had to convert to be a part of the Jewish people (which might explain his name change from Hoshea to ...
4
votes
3answers
544 views

PTIJ: Where can I buy the Book of G-d's Wars? [closed]

Thanks to my friend, David, who suggested this one to me, yesterday. Bemidbar 21:14 mentions a book called 'מלחמות ה - The Book of G-d's Wars. I'd like to buy this book, but I can't seem to locate ...
1
vote
2answers
102 views

PTIJ: Bearded vultures [closed]

The "bearded vulture" is not allowed at the dinner table. [Lev. 11:13] Would he be allowed if he shaved first? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See ...
8
votes
2answers
90 views

PTIJ: How could there still be pieces left? [closed]

As we know Moshe, upon coming down the mountain, was shocked at the sight of the jewish people sinning with the golden calf, thus throwing the Luchos - Tablets to the ground, breaking them to bits. ...
4
votes
6answers
157 views

PTIJ: Meaning of roshei teivos “PTIJ”? ר”ת פתא"י - מי יודע? [closed]

I keep seeing roshei teivos on the site and, being comparatively uneducated, can't make heads or tails of most of them. For example, one that I have seen on this site is "PTIJ" (which I assume refers ...
7
votes
2answers
126 views

PTIJ: Why would we recommend emulating Hillel? [closed]

The Talmud states (Shabbos 30b) לעולם יהא אדם ענוותן כהלל One should be humble like Hillel However, it says explicitly in Tehillim (10:3): כי הלל רשע Hillel is wicked Why would we ...
3
votes
1answer
83 views

PTIJ: Extraterrestrials in the Tanach [closed]

When we take the Torah scroll out of the Ark, we say, "Gadlu l'HaShem iti". [Psalms 34:4] This is usually translated as "Declare the greatness of the Lord with me!". This is a mistranslation. The ...
2
votes
0answers
72 views

PTIJ: Please advise me; I may be going deaf from davening! [closed]

I think I'm getting deaf. I've heard (pun intentional) that exposure to loud noise over an extended time period causes deafness. Well, each day - at least twice per day, I'm exposed to the loud noise ...
1
vote
5answers
98 views

PTIJ: Where will all the Israeli chicken coops go? [closed]

Tehillim (Psalms) 124:2 says: לולי ה' שהיה לנו יאמר נא ישראל Israel will say (something) about the chicken coops that G-d gave them. What will eventually happen to them? Where will they go? Why ...
4
votes
1answer
70 views

PTIJ: Why can't you turn away a baker with the king's ring? [closed]

The Megillah says: ונחתום בטבעת המלך אין להשיב You can't turn away a baker with the king's ring Why not? What's special about a baker, as opposed to a butcher or a candlestick maker? This ...
2
votes
3answers
107 views

PTIJ: Who were the two maidservants of Shushan? [closed]

We learn in Keilim 17:9: ושתי אמות היו בשושן הבירה There were two maidservants in Shushan the capital. Who are these maidservants? How are they connected to the Purim story? Where are they ...
8
votes
2answers
187 views

PTIJ: Where can I buy good wine? [closed]

A midrash tells us that a man's father drank too much wine and frequently collapsed in the streets in drunken stupor. One rainy day, the son saw a drunk lying in the gutter with rainwater running all ...
3
votes
2answers
152 views

PTIJ: Loshon hara by kiddush [closed]

וַיְהִי עֶרֶב וַיְהִי בקֶר יום הַשִּׁשִּׁי. וַיְכֻלּוּ הַשָּׁמַיִם וְהָאָרֶץ וְכָל צְבָאָם וַיְכַל אֱלהִים בַּיּום הַשְּׁבִיעִי מְלַאכְתּו אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה. וַיִּשְׁבּת בַּיּום הַשְּׁבִיעִי מִכָּל ...
3
votes
4answers
278 views

PTIJ: Harem d'rabbeinu Gershom [closed]

My friend said he wouldn't marry multiple wives even though it is allowed because he didn't want to be "put in a harem." Personally, I don't see what's so bad about being put in a harem. I actually ...
10
votes
2answers
970 views

PTIJ No Torah in the Bathroom [closed]

I know that I'm not supposed to think about Torah in the bathroom so I tried to think about not thinking about Torah in the bathroom. But I realized that if I think about the halacha of not thinking ...
6
votes
2answers
166 views

PTIJ: How can I tell if my cat is Jewish? [closed]

I suspect that my cat might be Jewish, but I'm not sure. I do have several reasons for my suspicion. He seems to love my sforim and will consistently sit on top of them when they are left out. If I ...
11
votes
11answers
450 views

PTIJ: How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? [closed]

It is well known that it takes three to be obligated in zimmun and that ten are required for a minyan, but how many are required to screw in a lightbulb? This question is Purim Torah and is not ...
4
votes
3answers
101 views

PTIJ: Levels of attribution [closed]

The Talmud says, in two places, "He who reports a saying in the name of its author brings deliverance to the world." [Megillah 15a; Chullin 104b] Elsewhere, it says, "Rabbi Shim’on ben Zebid said in ...
8
votes
1answer
69 views

PTIJ: I know who Solomon the Wise is but who is Solomon the Good? [closed]

I am given to understand that the traditional acronym at the beginning of letters between rabbis stands for אחר דרישת שלמה הטוב -- after seeking Solomon the Good*. I would like to know more about ...
1
vote
1answer
85 views

PTIJ: Why is Vashti referred to in the plural in Megillat Rut? [closed]

Towards the beginning of Megillat Rut (1:7), we discover that Vashti played a central role in Naomi's return to Eretz Yisrael: ותצא מן המקום אשר היתה שמה ושתי כלתיה עמה ותלכנה בדרך לשוב אל ארץ ...
2
votes
2answers
70 views

PTIJ: Have we been davening for Shalom to reach 100 K? [closed]

At the end of every Amidah and Kaddish (except the "half" Kaddish) we say: ... יעשה שלום עלינו Shalom should be over us. Well, it seems that Shalom has passed the 100K reputation mark. He's #...
2
votes
1answer
47 views

PTIJ: Why use a ring network for covering the altar? [closed]

Shemot 27:4 says that on the net-work that surrounds the mizbe'ach (altar), one should place four rings, one one each corner. Thus, one needs to create a ring network, which is a somewhat common data ...
6
votes
3answers
635 views

PTIJ:When can you study Greek philosophy? [closed]

The Talmud [Menachot 99b] tells us that someone asked Rabbi Ishmael, “May one such as myself, who have studied the entire Torah, learn Greek philosophy [chochmat yevanit]?” The rabbi noted that the ...
-1
votes
1answer
65 views

PTIJ: How did the cabbages get their wings? [closed]

Follow up to a previous PTIJ question that I asked about why the Aron (ark) had cabbages on top of it. Shemot 25:20 says that the cabbages should spread their wings upwards to cover the ark curtain. ...
-2
votes
3answers
68 views

PTIJ: Purim- International Forum Day [closed]

Is it a bigger mitzvah to post and answer questions on Mi Yodeya on Purim (Furim) because It sounds like Forum? Would that make Purim International Forum Day? This question is Purim Torah and is not ...
10
votes
11answers
257 views

PTIJ - Mixed Drinks in the Torah [closed]

In Parshas Zachor (Devarim 25:18) it says: ויזנב בך כל All tails are within you This would presumably include cocktails, and the Passuk teaches us that all of these can be found in the Torah (...
-1
votes
1answer
140 views

PTIJ- Firstborn renovating a father's bedroom [closed]

As per Rashi's commentary on Bereshit 35:22, Reuven did not actually lay with Bilhah, rather, he simply moved Ya'akov's couch. On this account, Reuven sinned and was deprived of firstborn status: ...
4
votes
2answers
98 views

PTIJ: How were the Na'vi able to defy the Torah? [closed]

As documented by Cameron (2009) the Na'vi rose up against their foreign oppressors, expelling them from the land. Yet it is written (D'varim 34): "לֹא-קָם נָבִיא עוֹד", "never again did/would the Na'...
13
votes
6answers
168 views

PTIJ: How does Hashem code with BYNH? [closed]

I'm writing an astrophysics emulator, and wanted to get as close to the original implementation as possible. The official history is a bit vague, but it's a badly-kept secret (transcribed in "Kel Adon"...
4
votes
0answers
88 views

PTIJ: Infinity - Mi Yodeya? [closed]

Who knows infinity? ?אין סוף - מי יודע Breishit 41:49 says that when Yosef gathered grain to prepare for the upcoming famine in Egypt, he gathered so much that he stopped counting because there was ...
3
votes
3answers
87 views

PTIJ: Is there a Y'dei Esav Siddur? [closed]

There has been a siddur around for many years called קול יעקב. I assume that the name of the Siddur was inspired by Breishit 27:22: הקול קול יעקב והידים ידי עשיו I also understand that the Siddur ...
6
votes
5answers
113 views

PTIJ - טו טו - Comparing Succos to Pesach [closed]

In regards to the gezeiras shaveh from succos to pesach, what other dinim do we learn? Is one required to be יושב בסוכה on his left side? How much does it have to rain on pesach to make you patur from ...
19
votes
4answers
2k views

PTIJ: How do I get out of lending a hand? [closed]

I am left-handed, and my friend recently pointed out to me that everyone has a right to use my left arm. He proved it from Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 27:6, where it says (and they translated): אטר.....
-1
votes
2answers
221 views

PTIJ: OTD Documentaries [closed]

Would a person be permitted to see the new OTD documentary Locked in the Temple? Here is an article I found on it: "Locked in the Temple" tells the story of Melanie Hirsch, an OTD from the ...
3
votes
1answer
159 views

PTIJ: Fibonacci Numbers - Mi Yodeya? [closed]

Who knows Fibonacci numbers? מספר פיבונצ'י - מי יודע From Wikipedia: In mathematics, the Fibonacci numbers are the numbers in the following integer sequence, called the Fibonacci sequence, and ...
11
votes
5answers
223 views

PTIJ: Yeshivas Shem v'Ever [closed]

My mother says she's never heard the name. However, my father insists that it's well-known and has been around forever. I am wondering what type of guys go there, are they good learners, or is it as ...