PTIJ: Becoming fleishig [closed]

Question

Often, I find that during conversation I am chewing the fat but I put my foot in my mouth, or end up eating crow. Eventually, I have to swallow my pride (or even eat my words).

Would I be fleishig in those cases, and not allowed, at the same time, to fish for compliments? Am I required to wait a particular time before I can make a cheesy joke, or milk the joke for laughs? What if I need to butter my boss up immediately and can't wait -- are there extenuating circumstances which would allow me to do so?

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This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

Answer 1

The Gemara (Bava Metzia 58b) describes embarrassment as אזיל סומקא ואתי חוורא, the red (meat) goes away and the white (milk) comes. So this implies that in embarrassing situations such as you describe, the meatiness disappears immediately.

Answer 2

The shulchan aruch (YD 87:3) rules that the prohibition on basar bechalav only applies to kosher animals and their milk. As such, I would not be concerned in the case of eating crow.

A similar logic would seem to apply with regards to swallowing your pride, since גאווה is certainly a בהמה טמאה. I also looked up the expression "chewing the fat" and it seems to be a form of gossip, which would be forbidden as לשון הרע. Therefore, in these cases there would be no prohibition of בשר בחלב.

The question of your foot is more complicated. בשר אדם is generally viewed as being only מדרבנן, and as such it may fall under the category of בשר בהמה טהורה. This is especially so since you say that you regularly eat your words, thus giving you the status of a מעלה גרה.

Therefore, if you put your foot in your mouth (especially if it's תלוש and not מחובר), I would have to recommend being מחמיר.

Answer 3

Fish are generally considered pareve/stam. During the period that you are fleishig after eating crow (even though crow is a treif bird) or otherwise, you could still fish for compliments.

Pride and words do not seem to fall under the rules of kosher vs. treif. Instead they would be grouped with intangibles such as smells (i.e. minei besamim). So in my opinion swallowing your pride or eating your words does not make you become fleishig. Even so, be sure to make your words as sweet as honey, so that they would tase good if you eat them.