We’re rewarding the question askers & reputations are being recalculated! Read more.

Hot answers tagged

36

Get married. This gives one the feeling of פת בסלו (bread in his basket) even when he is halachikaly forbidden to his wife. The Talmud says (Yevamos 63a) that a man should appreciate his wife simply for the fact that she saves him from sin. Also, another piece of practical advice given to me by my Chosson Teacher was to go outside for a walk. It works. ...


25

The Rambam says (Issurei Biah 21:19): וכן אסור לאדם שיביא עצמו לידי הרהור, אלא אם יבא לו הרהור יסיע לבו מדברי הבאי לדברי תורה שהיא אילת אהבים ויעלת חן.‏ It is forbidden for a person to bring himself to [sexual] thoughts. If a [sexual] thought comes to his mind, he should divert his heart from profligate and destructive matters to the words of Torah ...


23

Halachically, you transgress a biblical commandment if you knowingly have relations with a niddah, and the punishment is karet. See this answer, which cites Rambam Laws of Prohibitions on Relations 4:3. According to Rambam Issurei Biah 1:1 (h/t DoubleAA), punishments for forbidden relations apply to both except in a special case not applicable here. By ...


20

The Semak, in his list of the 613 Commandments, counts male masturbation as a Biblical prohibition in Negative Command #292.


17

In the Moreh Nevuchim, Rambam explains how God's attributes should be understood without compromising God's unchangingness. He compares God's mood to a fire. If you put ice in a fire, it melts, then evaporates. If you put clay in a fire, it hardens. If you put wood in a fire it burns... The fire causes many different and contrasting effects without changing ...


17

You didn't say which sin you're struggling to avoid. If it's masturbation: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch chapter 151 (available online in English and Hebrew) lists a whole slew of suggestions for avoiding masturbation. My favorite is from Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 151:6: "Be careful not to sleep alone in a room." Mishnah Berurah 239:9 and Sha'ar Ha'tziyun 239:17 ...


16

I am impressed by the gravity of your inquiry and your care in the matter in that you are seeking real answers to a complicated question. May Hashem help the two of you and anyone else in need of this post. First let's address some issues your question raised in this case, and then let's address the Halachic ramifications. The OP states that your wife is ...


16

Shulchan Aruch here אם מת אשר חטא לו מביא עשרה בני אדם ומעמידם על קברו ואומר חטאתי לאלהי ישראל ולפלוני זה שחטאתי לו (ונהגו לבקש מחילה בערב יו"כ If the person against whom he sinned has died, then he brings 10 people with him to stand by his grave and he says: "I have sinned before the G-d of Israel and against So-and-So I have transgressed." ...


15

Although one might think to conclude that homosexuality is worse than murder based on the specific punishments court can impose upon them (stoning for homosexuality and decapitation for murder), this simplistic understanding is not borne out upon further investigation. I know I shouldn't just quote on this site, but no one says it better than the Rambam ...


14

If you use pornography, see "How do you quit a pornography habit?". Otherwise: Guard Your Eyes puts out a 75-page-long book called The GYE Handbook. It discusses all sorts of ideas in depth. Different ideas from the book will be most useful for different people. It's targeted at pornography users, but it's useful even for people who have never used ...


13

Anyone can convert to Judaism. We find an example in Gittin 57:2 that Nevuzardan killed millions of jews and then converted.


13

No, it does not. "Cursing" someone in a Biblical sense means saying "may G-d strike you." Thus a person would only be liable for cursing their parent if they said "may G-d strike you" to their parent. When someone says "I hit my thumb with this G-ddamn hammer!", an English professor would tell you that means "may G-d damn this hammer because I am mad at it....


12

I have never found anything that works to curb the desire. The only thing that actually works, is a stronger desire to not act on your desires. Being distracted by something else might help you avoid the desire, but it really depends on how you relate to those other things for how well they will work. I can study Torah and still feel sexual desires, I can ...


12

Premarital sexual intercourse is not a kinyan unless it is done with the intention of being koneh. Not only that, but the man must say as much. Rambam Hil Ishus 3:5 (my own translation): ואם קידש בביאה אומר לה הרי את מקודשת לי או הרי את מאורסת לי או הרי את לי לאשה בבעילה זו וכל כיוצא בזה. ומתייחד עמה בפני שני עדים ובועלה If he betroths (mekadesh) ...


11

Some people were already being enticed to idolatry via their Moabite girlfriends (Num 25), so idolatry seems to sometimes be intertwined with relations. More specifically, Sanhedrin 82a brings the following (Soncino translation): And Moses said unto the judges of Israel, Slay ye every one of his men that were joined unto Baal Peor. Thereupon the tribe of ...


11

If it's required, and you don't ask, then it remains required. You just won't know it. So, to avoid transgressing from lack of knowledge, ask your rabbi. But if you won't do the thing anyway, don't ask. Getting and ignoring a ruling is a very bad idea.


11

1) Rav Sternbuch in Tshuvos V'hanhagos chelek 1:368 answers a question very similar to this one. The questioner(a Bal Tshuvah) asks if he can damage his parents television. The Rav answers that this is a machlokes between The Ketzos and the Nesivos in Choshen Mishpat siman 3(which discusses forcing someone to keep mitzvos).The Ketzos holds that the power of ...


11

Rabbenu Avraham ben HaRambam writes: If God would forbid everyone to drink wine and alcohol as he forbade non-kosher animals and fowl, not all would be able to comply...such a prohibition would also interfere with the benefit of wine and the occasional need to drink it. And if our Torah would say "Drink but don't become intoxicated," it would not work ...


11

Kiddushin 39b: רמי רב טובי בר רב קיסנא לרבא תנן כל העושה מצוה אחת מטיבין לו עשה אין לא עשה לא ורמינהי ישב ולא עבר עבירה נותנים לו שכר כעושה מצוה אמר ליה התם כגון שבא דבר עבירה לידו וניצול הימנה Rav Tuvi bar Rav Kisna raises a contradiction to Rava and asked: We learned in the mishna that anyone who performs one mitzva has goodness bestowed upon ...


10

Rambam (Hil. Sotah 3:3), based on the Gemara (Sotah 7b), states that a sotah is told the story of Reuven in its literal sense, to induce her to confess: "Many great and honorable people before you were overpowered by their inclinations and stumbled [and yet they confessed, so you should do the same]." Which would seem to imply that there is indeed room to ...


10

The Gemara in Meseches Brachos 7a says the following addressing this seeming "contradiction": (Source from Sefaria.org) והא כתיב (שמות לד, ז) פקד עון אבות על בנים וכתיב (דברים כד, טז) ובנים לא יומתו על אבות ורמינן קראי אהדדי ומשנינן לא קשיא הא כשאוחזין מעשה אבותיהם בידיהם הא כשאין אוחזין מעשה אבותיהם בידיהם But it is written (Exoudus 34:7) "Who ...


10

Bereishis Rabbah 22:13 seems to indicate that Adam didn’t know that he had that option: פָּגַע בּוֹ אָדָם הָרִאשׁוֹן אָמַר לוֹ מַה נַּעֲשָׂה בְּדִינְךָ, אָמַר לוֹ עָשִׂיתִי תְּשׁוּבָה וְנִתְפַּשַּׁרְתִּי. הִתְחִיל אָדָם הָרִאשׁוֹן מְטַפֵּחַ עַל פָּנָיו, אָמַר, כָּךְ הִיא כֹּחָהּ שֶׁל תְּשׁוּבָה וַאֲנִי לֹא הָיִיתִי יוֹדֵעַ Adam bumped into [Kayin]. [...


9

Chazal would emphasize through exaggeration (דברו חכמים לשון הבאי). (Tamid 29a) One of the examples given there is that the Mishna says that they let the animal for the tamid sacrifice drink from a gold cup (so that it would be hydrated and the carcass would be easier to manipulate). In reality, Rava argues, a copper cup was used and the Mishna was merely ...


9

The Rambam writes that it is considered cruel to repeatedly refuse to forgive someone who asks sincerely for forgiveness. Under normal circumstances if they ask once, twice and then a third time you must forgive them, or else you become the one in the wrong. They however do need to appease the wronged party and make amends as far as possible, such as ...


9

First, as @Yirmeyahu commented above, there is no death penalty for "all sex outside marriage". There is a verse which states לֹא תִהְיֶה קְדֵשָׁה מִבְּנוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל וְלֹא יִהְיֶה קָדֵשׁ מִבְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל, but that does not specify a death penalty of stoning. The prostitutes profession was irrelevant to the case. And it would not be a good society if ...


9

He didn't endeavor to get the rest of his generation to do Teshuva. That is the main contrast between him and Avraham Avinu, who worked tirelessly to spread monotheism to the world. This is called a Tzaddik in Pelz - a Righteous person in a fur coat - he keeps warm by wearing a fur coat instead of lighting a fire, thus keeping himself warm but letting ...


8

The Abarbanel actually says Batsheva was married -- and hence his commentary was not allowed on the shelves of Ner Israel yeshiva! I've heard Rabbi Breitowitz say that the statement of David may be taken non-literally; or with several of these, there are really two questions, "what exactly did they do wrong?", and "how deep was their repentance?" The verse ...


8

A halachic source that bears on this is Rambam, Hil. Melachim 10:4 (from Sanhedrin 71b): A gentile who converts after cursing G-d's name, worshipping false gods, engaging in relations with a colleague's wife, or killing a fellow gentile is exempt from punishment. In contrast, if he converted after killing a Jew or having relations with a Jew's wife, ...


8

The tamei minhagmim brings down in the inyanay segulos, that a way to get rid of bad thoughts is to say this pasuk many times "Aish Tamid tukad al mizbeach lo tichbeh" (vayikra 6:5) source: http://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=14556&st=&pgnum=578&hilite=


Only top voted, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible