9 votes

Scaring someone to teach them a lesson

Rabbi Zilberstein has a "teshuva" in which he was asked about the following (shortened for brevity): Someone was sitting on a bus behind two girls who were speaking lashon hara about a third girl who ...
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7 votes

Why the hidden mussar?

The Alshich explains that Moshe was "testing the waters" to see how the Jews would react to his rebuke. After he had established that they were accepting his hinted reproach humbly and with love, he ...
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  • 18.5k
6 votes

Don't teach if they won’t follow...?

The phrase you're looking for may be אלא הנח להם לישראל מוטב שיהיו שוגגין ואל יהיו מזידין But leave the Jews alone. It is better that they be unwitting sinners and not be intentional sinners. which ...
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  • 46.7k
6 votes

Don't teach if they won’t follow...?

The Sefer Hachinuch Mitzva 239 - רלט. מצות תוכחה לישראל שאינו נוהג כשורה - does mention such a concept. ומכל מקום, אמרו זכרונם לברכה (שם) גם כן, שאם יראה המוכיח שאין בדברי תוכחותיו שום תועלת נמצא, ...
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6 votes

Can a sinner preach to other people to stop sinning?

Bava Batra 60: ר' ינאי הוה ליה אילן הנוטה לרשות הרבים הוה ההוא גברא דהוה ליה נמי אילן הנוטה לרשות הרבים אתו בני רשות הרבים הוו קא מעכבי עילויה אתא לקמיה דר' ינאי א"ל זיל האידנא ותא למחר בליליא שדר ...
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  • 38.2k
5 votes

Why the hidden mussar?

The Darash Moshe answers your question. He says the generation that did these sins had already died out. The people he was talking to were their children. He was warning them that they too had the ...
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  • 32.2k
5 votes

Correcting a Rebbe who is learning during חזרת הש"ץ

See Igros Moshe (או"ח ד' סימן יט'): עיון בספר בזמן חזרת הש"ץ עש"ק ד' אייר תשל"ד. מע"כ ידידי הנכבד מאד מו"ה ר' זלמן אריה הילזענראד שליט"א. הנה בדבר עיון בספר בזמן חזרת הש"ץ, עיין במג"א סימן קכ"ד ...
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5 votes

Source for statement that we don't know how to rebuke today

I have no information regarding whether R' Yisrael Salanter said such a thing but regarding our inability to give tochacha, the gemara in Arachin 16b has the following to say: מנין לרואה בחבירו דבר ...
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  • 441
4 votes
Accepted

Are there certain people that should not be called for the aliyah having the rebuke?

In my experience, the person who is giving the aliyot out generally keeps this one for himself so nobody else will feel bad about having been given the aliya. I have also heard of this aliya being ...
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  • 24.3k
4 votes
Accepted

Should you prompt someone to ask you for mechila before Yom Kippur?

It would seem that you should prompt the wrongdoer, or else wholeheartedly forgive them. The Kizur Shulchan Aruch in סימן קלא - דיני ערב יום כפור says: וְאַדְרַבָּה, אִם הַחוֹטֵא אֵינוֹ מִתְעוֹרֵר ...
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4 votes

Don't teach if they won’t follow...?

Perhaps you are refering to the Talmudic principle of mutav sheyihyu shoggegin v'al yihyu meizidin" (better that they be unwitting [sinners] and not be wanton [sinners]) found for example, in ...
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  • 17.2k
4 votes
Accepted

For purposes of how a Torah reader reads tochacha, where does it start and end?

See Kitzur Shulchan ARuch 78:4. When I read this paragraph, he lists other places in the Torah where we should read certain verses quietly. (BTW, he does not mention "quickly" anywhwere, so I'm ...
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  • 68.7k
4 votes
Accepted

Why does God appear to Avraham about Sarah’s laughter?

The Chizkuni explains that Avraham was worthy of rebuke above that of Sarah. Avraham also laughed at the notion of having children at such an old age, and his behaviour required more of a response ...
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  • 19.8k
3 votes

If the בעל קורא had in mind a specific person while reading the תוכחה (curses) is that considered מקלל חבירו?

The Mishna in Shavuos 35a is the source for the Prohibition of cursing a friend. The example of cursing is using the very words of the Tochacha so of course a Baal Kore reading as a curse for the ...
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  • 11.2k
3 votes
Accepted

When is one exempt from giving rebuke?

Yes. on one hand Leviticus.19.17 You shall not hate your brother in your heart. You shall surely rebuke your fellow, but you shall not bear a sin on his account. rashi but You shall not bear a sin ...
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  • 7,104
3 votes

Should one reprimand a child if the parent might be embarrassed?

Menachos 37b: גדול כבוד הבריות שדוחה את לא תעשה שבתורה Great is human dignity, as it overrides a prohibition in the Torah. — You acted rightly. The instances where one should rebuke his fellow Jew, ...
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3 votes
Accepted

How is the land appeased regarding Shemittah?

Although man has free will, God has a world plan and one way or another his plan will succeed. Similarly God has set into Creation that just as scientific laws must not be violated, so too the laws ...
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  • 7,400
3 votes

How to respond to an insincere apology

There is a prayer that is found in many Siddurim before the bedtime Shema. You may have seen it, SAH. I took it from this site. Excerpts: Prayer of Forgiveness by Rabbi Yitsḥak Luria z”l, from the ...
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  • 68.7k
3 votes

What is the proper way to reproach a rav?

Brochos 22a: מעשה ברבי יהודה שראה קרי והיה מהלך על גב הנהר אמרו לו תלמידיו רבינו שנה לנו פרק אחד בהלכות דרך ארץ ירד וטבל ושנה להם. אמרו לו לא כך למדתנו רבינו They said to him: "Did you not ...
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  • 24.3k
3 votes
Accepted

What is the proper way to reproach a rav?

There seem to be two questions here. One is the title question: how to reproach a Rav. The implied question is how to stop talking in shul. (I have not tried to answer the implied question.) The ...
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3 votes

If someone is about to commit a sin on purpose, should you stop him even if it'll cause embarrassment?

Arachin 16b (translation Sefaria’s, emphasis mine): מנין לרואה בחבירו דבר מגונה שחייב להוכיחו שנאמר (ויקרא יט, יז) הוכח תוכיח הוכיחו ולא קבל מנין שיחזור ויוכיחנו תלמוד לומר תוכיח מכל מקום יכול אפי' ...
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  • 33.4k
2 votes

How is the land appeased regarding Shemittah?

When speaking of the effect that people have on nature as a result of activities, we often use anthropomorfication as a method of expressing the viewpoint. For example, we have the reference to the ...
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  • 41.8k
2 votes

How do we understand Moshe's rebuke

To answer point 1. It seems from the listing that Rashi's ordering is in order of intensity or severity, from least to most severe. To answer point 2. The 'rebuke' is achieved through a subtle ...
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2 votes

Is it halachically permissible to apologize and rebuke someone simultaneously?

"You should not hate your brother in your heart; your shall surely rebuke your friend, and not bear for him a sin." Vayikra 19:17 Ibn Ezra feels that this mitzva is focused on the one giving ...
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  • 20.5k
2 votes

Talking trees in Torah

The Midrash Rabbah Bereishis 13:2, on the Pasuk וכל שיח השדה, brings the following Drush: וְכֹל שִׂיחַ הַשָּׂדֶה, כָּל הָאִילָנוֹת כְּאִלּוּ מְשִׂיחִין אֵלּוּ עִם אֵלּוּ. כָּל הָאִילָנוֹת כְּאִלּוּ ...
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  • 4,253
2 votes
Accepted

Scaring someone to teach them a lesson

Some sevaros... If you are angry with the person and you honk at them to annoy them then you may as well as have upset them by shouting at them which is onoas devarim. If you are concerned for their ...
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  • 1,885
2 votes
Accepted

Who pronounced the Curses?

As explained in Rashi, Rav Hirsch, and the Art Scroll Chumash, the words of the blessings and the curses were spoken by the Kohanim and Leviim in the middle. The command on what to do and what to say ...
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  • 41.8k
1 vote

Differences in Tochacha (rebuke) between Ki Tavo and Behukotai

Rabbi Frand in The Difference Between The Two Tochachas cites Rav Soloveitchik as saying that the consolation appears in Parsha Nitzavim rather than immediately after the tochacha in Ki Savo. Rav ...
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  • 41.8k
1 vote

What was the Lubavitcher Rebbe's approach to rebuke?

The Rebbe's approach to rebuke is the same approach stated explicitly by the Alter Rebbe in chapter 32 of the Tanya, Likkutei Amarim since he is ממלא מקוםו, like is taught generally by all the Rebbes ...
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  • 12.2k
1 vote

What was the Lubavitcher Rebbe's approach to rebuke?

Reb Yoel Kahn (One of the biggest Chassidim in America) wrote a letter to Reb Mendel Vechter (A Satmar Chassid who was becoming Lubavitch). (Note, it's a twenty some pages long!) He wrote (in short) ...
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  • 39.9k

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