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From the Rema you bring it says "ובסעודת מצוה". That means that one is at the meal itself. That's what the Rema means. If someone is elsewhere it's not the seudas mitzvah.


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Nitei Gavriel 40:7 quotes the Divrei Malkiel 3:27 that Baalei Bris (the people directly involved with a Bris) can eat food from a Bris that was sent to their house because it like is their Yom Tov, however, other people cannot. Additionally, he writes, by other Seudos Mitzvah there would be no Heter.


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