37
Get married. This gives one the feeling of פת בסלו (bread in his basket) even when he is halachikaly forbidden to his wife. The Talmud says (Yevamos 63a) that a man should appreciate his wife simply for the fact that she saves him from sin.
Also, another piece of practical advice given to me by my Chosson Teacher was to go outside for a walk. It works. ...
26
The Rambam says (Issurei Biah 21:19):
וכן אסור לאדם שיביא עצמו לידי הרהור, אלא אם יבא לו הרהור יסיע לבו מדברי הבאי לדברי תורה שהיא אילת אהבים ויעלת חן.
It is forbidden for a person to bring himself to [sexual] thoughts. If a [sexual] thought comes to his mind, he should divert his heart from profligate and destructive matters to the words of Torah ...
18
You didn't say which sin you're struggling to avoid. If it's masturbation:
Kitzur Shulchan Aruch chapter 151 (available online in English and Hebrew) lists a whole slew of suggestions for avoiding masturbation.
My favorite is from Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 151:6: "Be careful not to sleep alone in a room." Mishnah Berurah 239:9 and Sha'ar Ha'tziyun 239:17 ...
17
The Mesillas Yesharim is certainly one of the most influential and popular seforim ever written. It is considered a basic text in most yeshivos and is widely studied by Jews throughout the world (both in the original language and in translation).
Before we can address the reasons for the immense popularity of this work, we first need to address one of the ...
14
If you use pornography, see "How do you quit a pornography habit?".
Otherwise:
Guard Your Eyes puts out a 75-page-long book called The GYE Handbook. It discusses all sorts of ideas in depth. Different ideas from the book will be most useful for different people. It's targeted at pornography users, but it's useful even for people who have never used ...
14
This comes to mind:
ולא יתבייש מפני בני אדם המלעיגים עליו בעבודת השי"ת
A person should not be embarrassed by people who jeer him regarding his service of God
(שולחן ערוך, אורח חיים א:א בהגה)
13
The story is a well-known piece of Jewish folklore, and it is hard to know if the story is true at all, and if it is, how much it may have changed over the generations.
The story can be found in the sefer Michtavei Chofetz Chaim (p.262) at the beginning of an essay written in honor the shloshim of the Chofetz Chaim. It was originally published in the ...
12
I have never found anything that works to curb the desire. The only thing that actually works, is a stronger desire to not act on your desires. Being distracted by something else might help you avoid the desire, but it really depends on how you relate to those other things for how well they will work. I can study Torah and still feel sexual desires, I can ...
11
Rabbi Shlomo Aviner suggests that Mesilas Yesharim (MY) be studied before Chovos Halevavos (CH) since MY is a written in a more accessible style and the topics are more basic. CH is deeper and the language is harder.
THinking about it some more with MY you will come away with more actionable tasks. i.e zerisus, zehiros, etc.. with CH the take aways are more ...
11
Thanks to Reddit user Bar Kappara (by way of @Isaac Moses) for this answer:
Devarim Rabba 3:3: It is told of Rabbi Shimon ben Shetach that he once purchased an ass from an Ishmaelite. When his disciples came, they found a jewel suspended from its neck and said, "Master, 'The blessing of Hashem, it makes rich.'" [Proverbs 10:22] Rabbi Simon ben Shetach ...
11
I have a guess with no source (yet):
The "own town" rule is a mechanism for making sure that no one falls through the cracks. If people donated based on some other criterion, let's say urgency of need, then, in the extreme, all donations in the world would go to the same starving town somewhere, and then would turn to the town that just got hit by a ...
11
This practice was advocated (possibly first suggested) by R. Simcha Bunim of Peshischa, as brought in his name in the collection of Hassidic Torah and lore entitled 'Siach Sarfe Kodesh' (n. 233):
שכל או״א (אחד ואחד) צריך להיות לו שני קעשינעס (כיסים) להשתמש בו בעת צרכו. בקעשינע אחד בשבילי נברא העולם ובהקעשינע השני אנכי עפר ואפר
10
The two quotes that come to mind are:
מוטב לי להקרא שוטה כל ימי ולא ליעשות שעה אחת רשע לפני המקום
[In response to requests that he change his rulings on certain issues:] I'd rather be called insane for all my days, but not be made evil in front of the Omnipresent even for a moment. (Eduyot 5:6 (English))
and
יקוב הדין את ההר
Let the law cut ...
10
Avot 3:2:
רבי חנינא סגן הכהנים אומר, הוי מתפלל בשלומה של מלכותז, שאלמלא מוראה,
איש את רעהו חיים בלעו
Rabbi Chanina, deputy to the kohanim, would say: Pray for the
integrity of the government; for were it not for the fear of its
authority, a man would swallow his neighbor alive. (Translation:
chabad.org)
10
This is a midrash from Kohelet Rabbah 7:16, Tanhuma, Parashat Mezora,1; Yalkut Shimoni, I Samuel, Chapter 121 and the Rambam in Guide for the Perplexed Part 3, Chapter 39. See also Me’am Loez Anthology on Exodus, 21:14
Rav Hirsch points out in Mishpatim 21:14 that it is a commandment to put a murderer to death and it is not allowed to show him "mercy".
...
9
To start with, there is the commandment in the Torah (Deut. 6:5): ואהבת את ה' אלקיך... ובכל נפשך ובכל מאדך ("You shall love Hashem your G-d... with all of your soul and with all of your might"), which the Mishnah (Berachos 54a) explains to mean, "even if He is taking your soul away," and "with all of your money." In a halachic context this is cited in ...
9
Rabbi Yair Hoffman has an analysis in the 5 Towns Jewish Times here (hat-tip to VIN for pointing me to it):
The article views the question primarily around the issue of Onaah which it defines as 16.7% above or below market value (and possibly just a pricing mistake regardless). If that issue applied, then the sale would be invalid. The conclusion of the ...
9
The following is from an old project of mine. It is in rough chronological order, so I cut it off by the 15th century, but some Acharonim still managed to squeeze in. :)
Classic Mussar Seforim
The following is a select list of major works of mussar:
Mishlei (Proverbs) – Shelomo HaMelech (King Solomon). The book of Mishlei is probably the first work ...
9
Beit Shamai and Beit Hillel: The last mishnah in the 1st chapter of Yebamoth brings an argument between Beit Hillel and Beit Shamai. A consequence of this argument was Beit Hillel ruling certain children resulting from the ruling of Beit Shamai mamzerim, (individuals who could not marry regular jews), and Beit Shamai ruling certain children of Beit Hillel's ...
9
The ש"ך wrote a commentary on the שולחן ערוך. The ט"ז argued with many of his rulings. The ש"ך responded in the נקודת הכסף. The ט"ז responded again in the "דף ארחון". And the ש"ך responded to that in "קונטרס ארחון". (source)
In the הקדמה to the נקודת הכסף in יורה דעה, the author, the ש"ך, writes (see there):
אל יעלה על לב הקורא בספרי זה שמפני שהיה לי ח"ו ...
9
As noted in this question, Ohr HaChaim to Shemot 23:2 writes that the 23rd judge must vote guilty, as he believes, even though that will result in the accused going free.
He explains the reason behind this: if someone is being wrongly accused in such a way that the judges cannot find any reason to acquit, G-d will orchestrate matters such that all the ...
8
The tamei minhagmim brings down in the inyanay segulos, that a way to get rid of bad thoughts is to say this pasuk many times "Aish Tamid tukad al mizbeach lo tichbeh" (vayikra 6:5)
source:
http://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=14556&st=&pgnum=578&hilite=
8
Might it also be possible that those being promoted are friendly with the boss or move in the same social circles? If I'm not mistaken, this also happens at non-Jewish companies. I'm always curious why people assume that behaviors demonstrated by Jews are automatically due to their Jewishness rather than to their humanness.
8
My wife speaks extremely highly of Chochmat Nashim by R' Shalom Arush shlita, which is translated in to English by R' Lazer Brody shlita. It focuses on marriage and married life, but covers the full spectrum of a woman's role and responsibilities.
8
I recently read in Rabbi Wolbe's name the suggestion that (if I recall the advice correctly) someone seeking to curb his sexual indulgence should work on his indulgence for food first, curtailing excess eating.
8
I heard a true story on the radio 2 weeks ago that still makes me visibly cringe and double over whenever I think of it. I bring this image to mind often, when I see a woman or begin to think about one, which promptly ends my reverie. This story is about an MMA fighter and can be found on google, with images. I will type this as a euphemism:
A man was ...
8
The Talmud (Yoma 4b) relates:
ויקרא אל משה וידבר למה הקדים קריאה לדיבור? לימדה תורה דרך ארץ, שלא יאמר אדם דבר לחבירו אלא אם כן קורהו. מסייע ליה לרבי חנינא, דאמר רבי חנינא: לא יאמר אדם דבר לחבירו אלא אם כן קורהו. לאמר אמר רבי (מוסיא בר בריה דרבי מסיא משמיה דרבי מוסיא) +מסורת הש"ס: [מנסיא]+ רבה: מניין לאומר דבר לחבירו שהוא בבל יאמר, עד שיאמר לו לך אמור - ...
8
SBA quotes the Yismach Mosheh that a "ba'al nefesh" is someone for whom the things related to the soul are more important than physical things. Rabbi Gil Student also quotes some statements by Rashi and Rabbeinu Chanan'el to define a ba'al nefesh. Rabbi Micha Berger quotes the Nefesh HaChayim as well; see there.
You can read the whole subject on Avodah here....
8
לב אליהו חכמה ומוסר עמ' רסב
בשם החפץ חיים ז"ל: "נודע בשערים בעלה בשבתו עם זקני ארץ". התורה נקראת "אשת חיל", א"כ מי הוא הבעל של "אשת חיל? - הת"ח העוסק בתורה! והנה יש לך ת"ח כשמדברים אתו בד"ת מביא הרבה מאמרים של תנאים ואמוראים, וחושבים שהוא בקי בש"ס, אבל האמת הוא שגמרא זו הוא יודע, שהקצות מביאה, וגמרא זו הוא יודע מהנתיבות, והשלישית מהפני יהושע, כל זה ...
8
Rabbi Yosef Karo (1488 - 1575)states in Shulchan Aruch, (The Code of Jewish Law) that if a physician is able to heal a patient and refrains from doing so, this is considered murder. Yoreh Deah, 336:1
Rabbi Moshe Isserles (The Rema 1520 - 1572), writes on the Shulchan Aruch (Code of Jewish Law), that any act involving touching or moving a "gossess" (a term ...
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