11
votes
Accepted
What does one say to an Onen?
Not words of comfort
In Pirkei Avot 4:181, R' Shim'on ben Elazar says:
וְאַל תְּנַחֲמֶנּוּ בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁמֵּתוֹ מֻטָּל לְפָנָיו
[D]o not console him at the time when his deceased lies before him;
The ...
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11
votes
Accepted
What sad/terrible events actually took place on the 9th of Av?
Several events are listed in chapter 13 of Megilat Ta'anit:
The Jews in the wilderness were decreed to die in the wilderness and not enter Israel.
The First Temple was destroyed.
The Second Temple ...
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10
votes
Accepted
Covering the mirrors in the house of a mourner
Zvi Ron wrote an entire article about this in Ḥakirah (vol. 13).
To quote and summarize: the earliest source is the Hattam Soffer (19th century) [i]:
He explains that mirrors were turned around ...
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10
votes
What sad/terrible events actually took place on the 9th of Av?
Here are additional events to the ones already noted in other answers
Expulsion from England (1290): The Jews of England were expelled by King Edward I (chabad.org)
French expulsion (1306): The Jews ...
- 53.6k
9
votes
Accepted
Priority for multiple "chiyuvim" to be Shaliach Tzibbur
Rule #1: Don't fight about it.
First, one should never get into fights with others to do Mitzvot (Mishna Berura 53 sk 65). Regarding our case, the Chatam Sofer (YD 345) writes that if you deserve a ...
- 100k
9
votes
Not to learn parts of Torah until they become applicable
The idea behind not learning the laws of mourning, is a superstition that this could cause someone to die, and the laws to become applied (see Hattam Sofer YD 346, and a discussion of the idea here). ...
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9
votes
How did Rabbi Akiva start again after losing 24,000 students?
See Yevamot 62b. The juxtaposition of the sentences in Gemara leads to understand that he learned this from a verse (Ecclesiastes 11.6).
ר"ע אומר למד תורה בילדותו ילמוד תורה בזקנותו היו לו תלמידים ...
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8
votes
Accepted
How can the mourner remarry within one month, if he has to wait two regalim?
Rashi on 21b points to the continuation of the gemara on Moed Katan 23a which provides the answer
ואם אין לו בנים מותר לישא לאלתר משום ביטול פריה ורביה הניחה לו בנים
קטנים מותר לישא לאלתר מפני ...
- 53.6k
7
votes
What sad/terrible events actually took place on the 9th of Av?
Heinrich Himmler received the formal command from the Nazi Party to initiate the Final Solution, an order which resulted in millions of Jewish deaths. This happened on Tisha B'Av in 5701, which ...
- 19k
6
votes
What is the halachic source for the minhagim of mourning during Sefira?
As DoubleAA pointed out, the Beis Yosef quotes the "Gaonim".
Those "Gaonim" could be referring to the Halachos Pesukos, which was a sefer written by one of the Gaonim, possible ...
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6
votes
Accepted
Covering pictures in the house of a mourner
Rabbi Oshinski in his sefer Hilchos Aveilus (Perek 3:24) he writes (bringing the Zichron Eliyahu and the Pnei Baruch) that mirrors are covered and some hold that pictures are covered as well. He does ...
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6
votes
Heter to call a mourner to the Torah on a weekday in the first week of his aveilus
There is an opinion that a mourner can be called up to the Torah on a weekday - (but not at all on Shabbat). It's the opinion of the Maharil in Hilchot Kriat HaTorah (דף ק"ח סוף ע"א).
He is quoted by ...
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6
votes
What halachos of mourning apply to a grandchild for his grandparent's death?
Upon hearing bad news, one says the blessing ברוך אתה יקוק אלוקינו מלך העולם דיין האמת"" (OC 222:2).
Regarding mourning, the Shulchan Arukh rules (YD 374.6):
כל מי שמתאבל עליו מתאבל עמו אם ...
- 100k
6
votes
Mourning for a parent for a year
R David Brofsky in his Hilkhot Avelut p. 192 quotes R Yosef Blau (Memories of a Giant) as explaining R Yosef Soloveitchik was puzzled why there were 12 months of aveilut for a parent who had lived a ...
- 53.6k
5
votes
What to say to someone on a yahrzeit
In Britain (certainly in Scotland) many ashkenazim say "you should have a long life" (not said as some kind of irony when being said to the one commemorating the yahrzeit but said in recognition of ...
5
votes
Taking a Shower during the Nine-Days
R. Yitzchak Abadi discusses this in a responsum:
Ohr Yitzchak 1:219
ואגב דעסקינן ברחיצה לא אוכל להתאפק מלהעיר על מנהג של הרבה אנשים אשר לא
מתרחצים מר"ח אב עד העשירי בו וחושבים שלרחוץ הוא איסור ...
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5
votes
Wishes to a mourner in addition to "Hamokom Yenachem Eschem"
Rav Yehudah Aryeh Dunner of Bnei Brak in his שאלות המצויות - ח"ג עמ' קז quotes Rav Shmuel Vosner ZTL that the reason this phrase was added was because the words המקום ינחם אתכם are in future tense, ...
- 7,062
5
votes
What to say to someone on a yahrzeit
The most common expression I have heard - "May the neshama have an aliyah".
The concept is that while the physical body remains in the earth, the dead person's neshama (soul) should rise to Gan Eden,...
- 71.1k
5
votes
Changes in Hilchos Aveilus due to the reaction of gentiles
Presumably, R' Hoffman is referring to two mourning practices that the Talmud Bavli lists as required but that Tosafot discuss being no longer practiced in their time and place: covering one's face ...
- 48.4k
5
votes
Accepted
are you allowed get music lessons during sefirah?
Rav Heinemann told us:
If you are practicing for your parnasa or are practicing because you
want to have the choice to enter such a field, then that would be the
equivalent of practicing ...
- 14.6k
5
votes
Accepted
Place of "laws of mourning" in the rambam
Rambam addresses this in his introduction to those laws where he lists the relevant Mitzvot which are to be discussed therein. The first one is:
א) להתאבל על הקרובים, ואפילו כוהן מיטמא ומתאבל על ...
- 100k
5
votes
Accepted
Is one allowed to attend a wake for a Jew?
dinonline was asked that question and answers
Question: Can [a Jew] attend a wake where the body is laid out in an open casket?
Answer: Certainly. In Jewish burials, the body is buried without ...
- 53.6k
5
votes
Why sprinkle on the third day?
R' Samson Raphael Hirsch, in his grand exposition of the symbolism in the red heifer procedure1, relates the third and seventh days of the procedure to the Third and Seventh Days of Creation and to ...
- 48.4k
5
votes
Accepted
Would an avel who visits the Kotel need to do an extra tearing?
Wearing torn clothing isn't the command. A tear for one event doesn't help at all for another later event. Even if another relative passes away during Shiva he would need to tear again (YD 340:21-23; ...
- 100k
5
votes
Accepted
Are Tzitzis obligated in Tzitzis
Indeed, perhaps a functionless tallit is not obligated in tzitzit. This seems to have been the opinion of R. Avraham Yeshaya Karelitz, at least:
Shilhi Dekayta Siman 8
וכששטחתי את גליונות הספר ...
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5
votes
Accepted
Why does leading the Amud alleviate suffering for the deceased?
R Yaakov Goldstein in his book The Laws & Customs of Mourning Vol. 2 writes (here online)
An Avel [who is the son of the deceased, whether the deceased is his
father or mother], is to lead ...
- 53.6k
4
votes
Accepted
Is a Jew allowed to visit a Christian cemetery?
yeshiva.co answers the question whether a Jew can attend a non-Jew's funeral
A Jew can enter a non-Jewish cemetery and attend a non-Jewish funeral.
(see Bava Metziah 114a). The only prohibition is to ...
- 53.6k
4
votes
Accepted
Was it customary for there to be an annual lamentation for someone's death, e.g. the daughter of Jephthah? Details as to her mourning process?
I believe answers your questions are all found in the Metzudos David.
The first thing to note is that based on the explanation of the the commentary. It is to be noted that he is of the opinion that ...
- 4,277
4
votes
Accepted
Is one allowed to listen to music for therapeutic purposes during sefira and the three weeks?
R’ Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (Halichos Shlomo, Sefiras Haomer 11:n14) writes that one who will become overly upset without music may listen to recordings. (source)
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