12

Nit'ei Gavriel (Aveilus 4:4) cites various sources that there is a common practice to not tear kriyah in this instance anyway (and in note יב he mentions other variations, such as leaving a button undone for a while, or tearing kriyah at the moment of death only for a distinguished person). In 4:7 he also writes that it is indeed not customary for doctors ...


12

Here it brings the following sources on the matter: The Chasam Sofer (Shut Y.D. 341) was concerned about it and spoke about pushing off the learning until the coming Tisha B'Av. Sefer Chassidim (261) is an interesting source. He says you should learn them because they aren't learned generally. So there you have the existing practice of not learning them ...


11

From an article on aish.com by Rabbi Yisrael Rutman: ...a person who has lost a loved one often feels that he has been abandoned by God; that there is no God where he is. We say to the mourner, therefore, that HaMakom should comfort him: We pray that he be blessed by a renewed awareness of God's presence, even in the grief-stricken place in which he now ...


11

According to R' Moshe Soloveichik, during the 9 days the level of mourning is as during the Shloshim mourning period. In the time of the Shulchan Aruch part of the mourning process during the Shloshim was not to bathe. As such, The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim 551:16) records a custom practiced by Ashkenazim of not bathing or showering during the Nine Days. ...


11

No. From one parent who actually observed a bat mitzva by having her daughter tear for the first time: Mishnah Berurah, Orach Chaim 561:17. In fact, children might be forbidden to tear their clothes because of ba’al tashchit, the prohibition against wanton waste! See, for a related analysis, Minchat Chinuch 264:34* (Machon Yerushalayim edition, [Netanya,...


11

In discussing laws associated with consoling mourners, Rabbi Moshe Feinstein (Igrot Moshe OC 5:20:21) uses the phrase in its singular masculine form: המקום ינחם אותך Rabbi Menashe Klein (Mishneh Halachot 4:144) offers condolences to the recipient of the responsa on the recent loss of his mother, also using the singular masculine form.


11

The Shulchan Aruch rules (YD 340:11) that women and men have an equal obligation in terms of keri'a, but that women should turn their undershirt around after tearing it before tearing her overshirt. Furthermore, in :15 he rules that a woman who performed keri'a is allowed to perform a non-professional stitch-up immediately after tearing, whereas a man would ...


11

Several events are listed in chapter 13 of Megilat Ta'anit: The Jews in the wilderness were decreed to die in the wilderness and not enter Israel. The First Temple was destroyed. The Second Temple was destroyed. The city of Beitar was conquered. The City was razed. בתשעה באב נגזר על אבותינו שלא יכנסו לארץ וחרב הבית בראשונה ובשניה נלכדה ביתר ונחרשה העיר ...


10

The Shaalos U'tshuvos Afraksa D'Anya - Siman 30 discusses this question and concludes that each mourner may have his own Minyan.


10

Here are additional events to the ones already noted in other answers Expulsion from England (1290): The Jews of England were expelled by King Edward I (chabad.org) French expulsion (1306): The Jews were expelled from France (from here) Spanish Expulsion (1492): The Jews of Spain were expelled by King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella on the 9th of Av of 1492, ...


9

Rav Shumel Kamentzky, cited in sefer Kovetz Halachos pg 231, writes that a nursing woman or someone riding a bus may sit, because it is a necessary thing and not done out of enjoyment. Sitting on the toilet is a need and not meant for enjoyment and should be the same.


9

When I was an aveil (for each of my parents), I changed my seat for the entire year. That is also the general minhag in my shul. This included Shabbosa as my new seat became my makom kavua for that year. After the year I returned to my normal seat. Our shul is somewhat "Yeshivish" on the East coast of the United States (Baltimore). I consider us somewhat to ...


9

Shulchan Arukh YD 340:14 על כל המתים אם בא להחליף תוך ז' ימים מחליף ואינו קורע על אביו ואמו אם מחליף תוך ז' קורע כל הבגדים שהוא מחליף ואינו מאחה לעולם כמו בפעם הראשון.‏ Upon any [ordinary] death, if [the mourner] comes to change [his clothes] during Shiva, he may switch and not tear [again], [but] on one's father and mother, if he switches [clothes] ...


9

Not words of comfort In Pirkei Avot 4:181, R' Shim'on ben Elazar says: וְאַל תְּנַחֲמֶנּוּ בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁמֵּתוֹ מֻטָּל לְפָנָיו [D]o not console him at the time when his deceased lies before him; The Rambam, in Hilchot De'ot 5:7, includes this rule in his advice for Torah scholars as a special case of אִם רוֹאֶה שֶׁדְּבָרָיו מוֹעִילִים ...


8

No. Mourning in Halacha 16:30 note 67a, citing Shmiras Shabbos Kehilchasa §65 note 163, citing R' Shlomo Zalman Auerbach ZT"L


8

I don't think one can visualize the churban bais hamikdash without a change in life and perspective. However, I did hear of a summer camp, which had the kids build forts and other buildings, and then on Tisha B'av the counselors burned it all down, and deestroyed it. This apparently helped the kids gain an appreciation of the feelings of loss with the ...


8

One should tear Kriyah: for a parent on the left side for another family member (for whom one sits shiva) on the right side for Har Ha'Bayit (ie. the Kotel) on the left side The tear should be made on one's upper most garment, it should be one tefach in length (around 3.5-4 inches or around 9cm). One must tear kriyah standing. When tearing kriyah for a ...


8

I don't remember where I heard this, but someone suggested that just as it is preferred to sit shiva in the house of the niftar (sorry, don't have sources on me), you are giving consolation to both the person/people sitting shiva and the niftar. Thus, even if only one person is siting shiva, there are two people being addressed. In a case of a woman ...


8

Whether or not tashmish and other private acts of mourning remain forbidden on Shabbat Tisha b'Av is a difference of opinion between the Mechaber and the Rama in Shulchan Aruch OC 554:19 with the Mechaber permitting and the Rama forbidding. Some Achronim debate whether Ashkenazim can rely on the Mechaber in certain pressing circumstances so please CYLOR for ...


8

Zvi Ron wrote an entire article about this in Ḥakirah (vol. 13). To quote and summarize: the earliest source is the Hattam Soffer (19th century) [i]: He explains that mirrors were turned around to face the wall based on the mourning practice of kefiat hamittah, overturning the beds. The Babylonian Talmud (Mo‘ed Katan 15b) gives ...


8

The idea behind not learning the laws of mourning, is a superstition that this could cause someone to die, and the laws to become applied (see Hattam Sofer YD 346, and a discussion of the idea here). R. Elyashiv is quoted as rejecting this idea here. Similarly, this article quotes Yossef Omets (pg. 270) as referencing this superstition, but nevertheless ...


8

See Yevamot 62b. The juxtaposition of the sentences in Gemara leads to understand that he learned this from a verse (Ecclesiastes 11.6). ר"ע אומר למד תורה בילדותו ילמוד תורה בזקנותו היו לו תלמידים בילדותו יהיו לו תלמידים בזקנותו שנא' בבקר זרע את זרעך וגו' אמרו שנים עשר אלף זוגים תלמידים היו לו לרבי עקיבא מגבת עד אנטיפרס וכולן מתו בפרק אחד מפני שלא נהגו ...


7

I suspect another influence on this is that according to Midrash, in Temple times, mourners would enter the Temple and be told: השוכן בבית הזה ינחמך May the One whose Presence is felt here grant you consolation If so it would make a lot of sense that in post-Temple times, the greeting became: May the One beyond space grant you consolation.


7

The Bracha - Boruch ... Dayan HaEmes - is said on Shabbos. (Rokeiach Hilchos Aveilos 316 Minhagim, Shibolei HaLeket Hilchos Simchos 13, Tanya Siman 66, Sidur Bais Yaakov - Rabbi Yaakov Emdin, Chochmas Adam Klal 151 Siman 18)


7

I think it helps to study mishnayos or g'mara (Midos, Tamid, Yoma, P'sachim, perhaps others) about the avoda and miracles in the bes hamikdash. (Likewise, the musafos ("yotz'ros" of musaf) of Yom Kipur.) It gives one a feel for what's missing. Reading the ArtScroll kinos helps one focus on the loss and gives an idea of the difference that the churban made ...


7

The Beit Yosef (OC 493) quotes Rabbeinu Yerocham (~1350 CE) who quotes "Geonim" who mention a custom not to get married between Pesach and Shavuot.


7

First of all, I am not aware of any actual halachic source that states that a suicide is to be buried separately from the main Jewish cemetery. If anyone knows of a source for this, please let me know. In any event, while many of the halachos of mourning do not apply in the case of suicide (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 345), this is only true if the person ...


7

See here, One may dry his hands on a towel and then use the damp towel to clean his eyes and face, as the towel isn’t wet enough to impart enough water to wet something else (tofach al menat le-hatpiach) (Shulchan Arukh 554:11). (If one must actually clean one’s eyes in the morning, it is permitted to do so normally, as it is no different than ...


7

From "The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning" by Maurice Lamm: Community business meetings, such as synagogue or fraternal organization membership meetings, are permitted the mourner after shiva. Social dinners, even though no music is played, and even though they are held for charitable causes, are not to be attended by mourners for parents ...


7

It is Halacha and is brought in Shulchan Arukh YD 384. It applies on Shabbat just like all other mourning restrictions: only when not done publicly. So learning Gemara in your house is prohibited, but getting an Aliyah that you get every week and people would notice your not getting is permitted. (YD 400)


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