11
votes
Accepted
What does one say to an Onen?
Not words of comfort
In Pirkei Avot 4:181, R' Shim'on ben Elazar says:
וְאַל תְּנַחֲמֶנּוּ בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁמֵּתוֹ מֻטָּל לְפָנָיו
[D]o not console him at the time when his deceased lies before him;
The ...
- 47.8k
11
votes
Accepted
What sad/terrible events actually took place on the 9th of Av?
Several events are listed in chapter 13 of Megilat Ta'anit:
The Jews in the wilderness were decreed to die in the wilderness and not enter Israel.
The First Temple was destroyed.
The Second Temple ...
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10
votes
Accepted
Covering the mirrors in the house of a mourner
Zvi Ron wrote an entire article about this in Ḥakirah (vol. 13).
To quote and summarize: the earliest source is the Hattam Soffer (19th century) [i]:
He explains that mirrors were turned around ...
- 35.4k
10
votes
What sad/terrible events actually took place on the 9th of Av?
Here are additional events to the ones already noted in other answers
Expulsion from England (1290): The Jews of England were expelled by King Edward I (chabad.org)
French expulsion (1306): The Jews ...
- 47.8k
9
votes
Accepted
Does a mourner tear one garment, or every garment he wears for a period of time?
Shulchan Arukh YD 340:14
על כל המתים אם בא להחליף תוך ז' ימים מחליף ואינו קורע על אביו ואמו אם מחליף תוך ז' קורע כל הבגדים שהוא מחליף ואינו מאחה לעולם כמו בפעם הראשון.
Upon any [ordinary] ...
- 97.3k
9
votes
Not to learn parts of Torah until they become applicable
The idea behind not learning the laws of mourning, is a superstition that this could cause someone to die, and the laws to become applied (see Hattam Sofer YD 346, and a discussion of the idea here). ...
- 35.4k
9
votes
How did Rabbi Akiva start again after losing 24,000 students?
See Yevamot 62b. The juxtaposition of the sentences in Gemara leads to understand that he learned this from a verse (Ecclesiastes 11.6).
ר"ע אומר למד תורה בילדותו ילמוד תורה בזקנותו היו לו תלמידים ...
- 22.7k
8
votes
Accepted
Priority for multiple "chiyuvim" to be Shaliach Tzibbur
Rule #1: Don't fight about it.
First, one should never get into fights with others to do Mitzvot (Mishna Berura 53 sk 65). Regarding our case, the Chatam Sofer (YD 345) writes that if you deserve a ...
- 97.3k
8
votes
Accepted
How can the mourner remarry within one month, if he has to wait two regalim?
Rashi on 21b points to the continuation of the gemara on Moed Katan 23a which provides the answer
ואם אין לו בנים מותר לישא לאלתר משום ביטול פריה ורביה הניחה לו בנים
קטנים מותר לישא לאלתר מפני ...
- 47.8k
7
votes
What sad/terrible events actually took place on the 9th of Av?
Heinrich Himmler received the formal command from the Nazi Party to initiate the Final Solution, an order which resulted in millions of Jewish deaths. This happened on Tisha B'Av in 5701, which ...
- 18.5k
6
votes
Accepted
Does Yom Tov end the "Shloshim" period?
Yes, Shloshim is cancelled if Shiva ended before the holiday started. ShA YD 399:3
- 97.3k
6
votes
Accepted
When there are four aveilim (mourners), Is it better to have one minyan of 40 people or 4 minyonim of ten each?
Rav Moshe Feinstein (Igrot Moshe YD 4:61:4) ruled they should not split up because of BeRov Am, and all the more so in a case where the extra group would not be in a Shul or even a room without a ...
- 97.3k
6
votes
What is the halachic source for the minhagim of mourning during Sefira?
As DoubleAA pointed out, the Beis Yosef quotes the "Gaonim".
Those "Gaonim" could be referring to the Halachos Pesukos, which was a sefer written by one of the Gaonim, possible ...
- 40.3k
6
votes
Brit milah during shloshim
Nitei Gavriel Aveilus2 23:20 says that the father of the baby can participate in a Bris and Seuda for his son even during the Sheloshim.
אבי הבן, כשהוא אבל עושה משתה ושמחה ביום המילה ומשתתף אף ...
- 139k
6
votes
Accepted
Covering pictures in the house of a mourner
Rabbi Oshinski in his sefer Hilchos Aveilus (Perek 3:24) he writes (bringing the Zichron Eliyahu and the Pnei Baruch) that mirrors are covered and some hold that pictures are covered as well. He does ...
- 41k
6
votes
Heter to call a mourner to the Torah on a weekday in the first week of his aveilus
There is an opinion that a mourner can be called up to the Torah on a weekday - (but not at all on Shabbat). It's the opinion of the Maharil in Hilchot Kriat HaTorah (דף ק"ח סוף ע"א).
He is quoted by ...
- 42.8k
6
votes
What halachos of mourning apply to a grandchild for his grandparent's death?
Upon hearing bad news, one says the blessing ברוך אתה יקוק אלוקינו מלך העולם דיין האמת"" (OC 222:2).
Regarding mourning, the Shulchan Arukh rules (YD 374.6):
כל מי שמתאבל עליו מתאבל עמו אם ...
- 97.3k
6
votes
Mourning for a parent for a year
R David Brofsky in his Hilkhot Avelut p. 192 quotes R Yosef Blau (Memories of a Giant) as explaining R Yosef Soloveitchik was puzzled why there were 12 months of aveilut for a parent who had lived a ...
- 47.8k
5
votes
Wishes to a mourner in addition to "Hamokom Yenachem Eschem"
Rav Yehudah Aryeh Dunner of Bnei Brak in his שאלות המצויות - ח"ג עמ' קז quotes Rav Shmuel Vosner ZTL that the reason this phrase was added was because the words המקום ינחם אתכם are in future tense, ...
- 6,919
5
votes
Taking a Shower during the Nine-Days
R. Yitzchak Abadi discusses this in a responsum:
Ohr Yitzchak 1:219
ואגב דעסקינן ברחיצה לא אוכל להתאפק מלהעיר על מנהג של הרבה אנשים אשר לא
מתרחצים מר"ח אב עד העשירי בו וחושבים שלרחוץ הוא איסור ...
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5
votes
What does it mean for a mourner to "have a chiuv"?
Davening from the amud is not an obligation indeed, and if someone else has priority one is not obligated to find another minyan in order to daven from the amud. It is a custom as a way of honoring ...
- 47.8k
5
votes
Accepted
"Chiyuv" to be chazan vs. congregational approval and refusal
R Eliezer Melamed addresses this (online under 3 but also in The Laws of prayer p. 51)
The chazan is the emissary of the congregation, and therefore a person
is prohibited from taking hold of the ...
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5
votes
Brit milah during shloshim
The Rama (YD 391:2) quotes opinions both ways if a mourner may partake of the meal at a circumcision (the doubt is if it is considered "celebratory" like a wedding is), and notes the custom is to ...
- 97.3k
5
votes
Source for "Hamakom" said at shiva and variations
The Talmud in Sanhedrin 19A says about the Kohen Gadol:
כשהוא מתנחם כו': איבעיא להו כי מנחם הוא אחריני היכי אמר להו ת''ש והוא אומר תתנחמו היכי דמי אילימא כי מנחמי אחריני לדידיה אמר להו איהו תתנחמו ...
- 22.7k
5
votes
What to say to someone on a yahrzeit
The most common expression I have heard - "May the neshama have an aliyah".
The concept is that while the physical body remains in the earth, the dead person's neshama (soul) should rise to Gan Eden,...
- 70k
5
votes
What to say to someone on a yahrzeit
In Britain (certainly in Scotland) many ashkenazim say "you should have a long life" (not said as some kind of irony when being said to the one commemorating the yahrzeit but said in recognition of ...
5
votes
Changes in Hilchos Aveilus due to the reaction of gentiles
Presumably, R' Hoffman is referring to two mourning practices that the Talmud Bavli lists as required but that Tosafot discuss being no longer practiced in their time and place: covering one's face ...
- 47.8k
5
votes
Accepted
are you allowed get music lessons during sefirah?
Rav Heinemann told us:
If you are practicing for your parnasa or are practicing because you
want to have the choice to enter such a field, then that would be the
equivalent of practicing ...
- 13.8k
5
votes
Accepted
Place of "laws of mourning" in the rambam
Rambam addresses this in his introduction to those laws where he lists the relevant Mitzvot which are to be discussed therein. The first one is:
א) להתאבל על הקרובים, ואפילו כוהן מיטמא ומתאבל על ...
- 97.3k
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