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It's in Sha'ar Hatziyun 156:3: וכדי שלא ירמה אותו היצר יתבונן אלו הוא היה מתחייב לזון את חבירו ולהלבישו לפי ערכו מה היה אומר אז איזה דבר הוא הכרח In order that his yetzer not deceive him, he should contemplate [the following]: Were he to be obligated to feed and clothe his fellow according to his status, which items would he define as necessary?

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