37

Get married. This gives one the feeling of פת בסלו (bread in his basket) even when he is halachikaly forbidden to his wife. The Talmud says (Yevamos 63a) that a man should appreciate his wife simply for the fact that she saves him from sin. Also, another piece of practical advice given to me by my Chosson Teacher was to go outside for a walk. It works. ...


26

The Rambam says (Issurei Biah 21:19): וכן אסור לאדם שיביא עצמו לידי הרהור, אלא אם יבא לו הרהור יסיע לבו מדברי הבאי לדברי תורה שהיא אילת אהבים ויעלת חן.‏ It is forbidden for a person to bring himself to [sexual] thoughts. If a [sexual] thought comes to his mind, he should divert his heart from profligate and destructive matters to the words of Torah ...


18

You didn't say which sin you're struggling to avoid. If it's masturbation: Kitzur Shulchan Aruch chapter 151 (available online in English and Hebrew) lists a whole slew of suggestions for avoiding masturbation. My favorite is from Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 151:6: "Be careful not to sleep alone in a room." Mishnah Berurah 239:9 and Sha'ar Ha'tziyun 239:17 ...


14

If you use pornography, see "How do you quit a pornography habit?". Otherwise: Guard Your Eyes puts out a 75-page-long book called The GYE Handbook. It discusses all sorts of ideas in depth. Different ideas from the book will be most useful for different people. It's targeted at pornography users, but it's useful even for people who have never used ...


12

I have never found anything that works to curb the desire. The only thing that actually works, is a stronger desire to not act on your desires. Being distracted by something else might help you avoid the desire, but it really depends on how you relate to those other things for how well they will work. I can study Torah and still feel sexual desires, I can ...


11

It is clear that angels have jealousy towards humans from Tosfiyos Brachos 3a that says that some say that we say certain prayers in Aramaic in order that the angels should not be jealous of us, and Tosfiyos does not say there is no jealousy, only that we say other prayers in Lashon Kodesh so that can not be the reason. Also Rashi Braishis 1:26 indicates ...


10

This is a midrash from Kohelet Rabbah 7:16, Tanhuma, Parashat Mezora,1; Yalkut Shimoni, I Samuel, Chapter 121 and the Rambam in Guide for the Perplexed Part 3, Chapter 39. See also Me’am Loez Anthology on Exodus, 21:14 Rav Hirsch points out in Mishpatim 21:14 that it is a commandment to put a murderer to death and it is not allowed to show him "mercy". ...


10

See Talmud Ta'anit 20a - 20b. Synopsis: Rav Elazar ben Rav Shimon was on the road and an ugly man greeted him. Rav Elazar offended him by asking, "Are all people from your village as ugly as you?" He had to follow the man to his town begging for forgiveness. The maxim that Rav Elazar himself states, on p. 20b, after he apologized and realized his error, is ...


9

It is a a baraita in Masekhet Shabbat 105b: המקרע בגדיו בחמתו והמשבר כליו בחמתו והמפזר מעותיו בחמתו יהא בעיניך כעובד ע"ז שכך אומנתו של יצה"ר היום אומר לו עשה כך ולמחר אומר לו עשה כך "If one tears his garment in his anger, breaks his utensils in his anger or scatters his money in his anger, he should be in your eyes as one who is performing ...


9

1) Regarding a shidduch, the Shulchan Aruch says, "For the sake of marriage, a man may view an unmarried girl or lady to see whether he likes her appearance and general characteristics. It is not only permitted; it is advisable and correct to do so." 2) If you're worried about inappropriate thoughts, the Gemara states, "Inappropriate thoughts are one of ...


8

I recently read in Rabbi Wolbe's name the suggestion that (if I recall the advice correctly) someone seeking to curb his sexual indulgence should work on his indulgence for food first, curtailing excess eating.


8

I heard a true story on the radio 2 weeks ago that still makes me visibly cringe and double over whenever I think of it. I bring this image to mind often, when I see a woman or begin to think about one, which promptly ends my reverie. This story is about an MMA fighter and can be found on google, with images. I will type this as a euphemism: A man was ...


8

The tamei minhagmim brings down in the inyanay segulos, that a way to get rid of bad thoughts is to say this pasuk many times "Aish Tamid tukad al mizbeach lo tichbeh" (vayikra 6:5) source: http://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=14556&st=&pgnum=578&hilite=


8

The offense they took was not personal, but in their capacity as leaders and representatives of Torah Scholars in general. If they allowed themselves to be insulted without protest, they feared there would be loss of honor for the Torah.


8

There are many stories of great rabbis apologizing to people much below their spiritual level. For instance, this story of the Steipler Gaon apologizing to a bar mitsva boy for mistakenly criticizing him six years earlier (written up by R Mordechai Kamenetzky on torah.org) In the city of B’nai Beraq there are many Bar Mitzvah celebrations every Shabbos. ...


8

For example did Hashem ever apologize? Chulin 60b tells of how God tried to appease the moon after diminishing it, and eventually ordains the new month's sacrifices as a sin offering for his having diminished it. רבי שמעון בן פזי רמי כתיב (בראשית א, טז) ויעש אלהים את שני המאורות הגדולים וכתיב את המאור הגדול ואת המאור הקטן אמרה ירח לפני הקב"ה רבש"...


8

I saw the following quoted as the Vilna Gaon's commentary to Mishlei 11:2: שעיקר החכמה הוא בהצנועים ששותקין מלומר תורתם ודעתם, רק שומעין מרבותם. כי כאשר הוא יאמר דבריו, לא יוסיף לו כלום, אבל כאשר ישמע מרבו, יוסיף לו דברים. ... ולכן העינים הם שתים, והאזנים הם שתים, לראות בתורה שבכתב ולשמוע בתורה שבעל פה, אבל הפה הוא אחד Roughly translated: "Wisdom is ...


7

Mishnayoth regularly employ a style of continuing a train of thought and then returning to a previous thought. It's actually codified by the Gemara as a standard practice of Mishnah, so much so that laws are derived from the juxtaposition of subject to subject within a Mishnah or adjoining Mishnayoth. See Bab. Berachoth 2a, for example ("תנא פתח בערבית והדר ...


7

In Maseches Kallah Rabosi (4:2) asks similar questions: 1) why does the Mishnah begin with a Golem, he should have begun with the Chochom (7 things of a Chochom and afterwards 7 things of a Golem)? 2) Why does he enumerate the 7 of the Chochom and not the 7 of the Golem? The Gemara answers: Because he wanted to state the advantages of the Chochom, and the ...


7

Rashi on the top of Bechoros 46a, the last Rashi of the perek (chapter), says to make a neder.


7

Torah is studied properly if the goal is to observe that which is learned (Avos 4:5). If someone studies the many halachos that have bearing on one's character (e.g. those related to kindness, honesty, alacrity, discipline, etc.) without meaning to fulfill what he learns, that is not proper Torah study, and cannot be expected to improve his character. The ...


7

Habakkuk The prophet Habakkuk is thought to be the boy in the incident of Elisha and the Shunamite woman. Episode here: http://www.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo/aid/15910 The second line of his very short book starts "How long..." - your characteristic of impatience. The third line asks god "Why he shown him [iniquity]", - your characteristic of questioning. ...


7

I have no source other than my teachers(' Mesorah?), but I was taught, and I believe, that it is proper for the חזן to wait until after the completion of the קדיש. It seems to me that, rather than waiting for praise, he is preventing distraction, and his presence and staid stance at the עמוד help to maintain the decorum through the last words of the קדיש.


7

The Aruch Hashulchan in siman 437 siff 7 writes that nowadays women are bodek even better than men and dig after a miniscule amount of chametz and wash and clean every place. Another point is to define what chazzal meant by women are atzlanios by citing one of the medrashim that uses the same terminology. See in Devarim Rabba Parsha 6 (#11) that prooves ...


7

This is the subject of dispute between R. Saadyah Gaon and the kabbalists, on the one hand, and ibn Ezra and Maimonides on the other. According to Rasag (Emunot ve-de'ot 4:1), man is greater than all other creatures by virtue of his free will. This is also the view of the kabbalists: Man is greater than the angels in that he was given inclinations, and ...


7

Berachot 31b ויען עלי ויאמר לכי לשלום אמר רבי אלעזר מכאן לחושד את חברו בדבר שאין בו שצריך לפייסו ולא עוד אלא שצריך לברכו שנאמר ואלהי ישראל יתן את שלתך Then Eli answered and said, Go in Peace. R. Eleazar said: From this we learn that one who suspects his neighbour of a fault which he has not committed must beg his pardon; nay more, he must bless ...


6

I'm surprised no one has mentioned Rebbi Nachman's tikkun haklali which many say as a preventative measure as well as a rectification. Furthermore the Noam Elimelech states that repeating the 7 names of the cannanite nations over and over as a mantra will aleviate sexual desire.


6

I would propose - but have no source for it - that Korach's bad traits of jealousy and arrogance were a result of his prophesy. In other words, Korach was a simple Jew happy to go along with Moshe's guidance until he saw - with Ruach HaKodesh - that his descendants would be great people. At that point he became arrogant - he was the progenitor of a great ...


6

What you are quoting is an English translation of part of a testament that has been attributed to the Rambam (-some details). It is called שערי המוסר. A more literal translation is "Accustom yourselves to habitual goodness, for character is dependent upon habit, habit becoming as it were second nature."


6

See Gemara BM 23b For Rab Judah said in the name of Samuel: In the following three matters learned men do conceal the truth: In matters of a tractate {they ask know you this Massechet at your fingertip and by humility he says "No!" (Rashi)}, bed {If they ask if he has a sexuel intercourse, he can hive a negative answer, even if it is not true, by modesty (...


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