Skip to main content
10 votes

Someone in authority apologizes?

See Talmud Ta'anit 20a - 20b. Synopsis: Rav Elazar ben Rav Shimon was on the road and an ugly man greeted him. Rav Elazar offended him by asking, "Are all people from your village as ugly as you?" He ...
DanF's user avatar
  • 70.7k
9 votes

Going on a date

1) Regarding a shidduch, the Shulchan Aruch says, "For the sake of marriage, a man may view an unmarried girl or lady to see whether he likes her appearance and general characteristics. It is not only ...
Real Torah's user avatar
9 votes
Accepted

Why we have two ears vs. one mouth?

I saw the following quoted as the Vilna Gaon's commentary to Mishlei 11:2: שעיקר החכמה הוא בהצנועים ששותקין מלומר תורתם ודעתם, רק שומעין מרבותם. כי כאשר הוא יאמר דבריו, לא יוסיף לו כלום, אבל ...
Jay's user avatar
  • 6,507
9 votes

Is there a master list(s) of Middot?

The Sefer Orchos Tzaddikim speaks about the following character traits: גאוה - Pride/Arrogance ענוה - Humility בושה - Shame עזות - Brazenness אהבה - Love שנאה - Hate רחמים - Mercy אכזריות - Cruelty ...
Dov's user avatar
  • 33.5k
8 votes

Someone in authority apologizes?

There are many stories of great rabbis apologizing to people much below their spiritual level. For instance, this story of the Steipler Gaon apologizing to a bar mitsva boy for mistakenly criticizing ...
mbloch's user avatar
  • 53.1k
8 votes

Someone in authority apologizes?

For example did Hashem ever apologize? Chulin 60b tells of how God tried to appease the moon after diminishing it, and eventually ordains the new month's sacrifices as a sin offering for his having ...
b a's user avatar
  • 24.8k
8 votes
Accepted

Good book(s) on conquering anger?

There are several options you might one to consider. Some that specifically focus on anger alone and some that examine anger along with other middos: 1) The Enemy Within I highly recommend Rabbi ...
Dov's user avatar
  • 33.5k
7 votes
Accepted

Is there a problem with lying?

See Gemara BM 23b For Rab Judah said in the name of Samuel: In the following three matters learned men do conceal the truth: In matters of a tractate {they ask know you this Massechet at your ...
kouty's user avatar
  • 22.8k
7 votes

Someone in authority apologizes?

Berachot 31b ויען עלי ויאמר לכי לשלום אמר רבי אלעזר מכאן לחושד את חברו בדבר שאין בו שצריך לפייסו ולא עוד אלא שצריך לברכו שנאמר ואלהי ישראל יתן את שלתך Then Eli answered and said, Go in Peace....
Alex's user avatar
  • 49.6k
5 votes

Is there a problem with lying?

Generally, you should not lie. Sotah 42a makes it clear that those who lie (shakranim) do not merit the divine presence. Who are these shakranim? dafyomi.co.il translates it as follows: SHAKRANIM (...
RonP's user avatar
  • 1,946
5 votes
Accepted

Mah hu af atah parameters

Nice question! Maybe the idea is, see in the Torah if there is not something against it. For example, we do not kill a guilty bidei shamayim, because as is said in the Torah: ולא ימות הרוצח עד ...
yO_'s user avatar
  • 1,505
5 votes

Can there be too much chesed?

Definitely not: Mishnah Peah (1,1) we say it daily in the morning prayer: אלו דברים שאין להם שיעור: הפאה...וגמילות חסדים ותלמוד תורה.: These are the things that have no measure: Peah, ...
Al Berko's user avatar
  • 26k
4 votes

Mah hu af atah parameters

I like @yO_'s answer, which implies that some of the mitzvos were commanded explicitly to avoid our reaching the wrong conclusion by watching Hashem's behavior. But I wish to add a second possibility. ...
Micha Berger's user avatar
  • 9,688
4 votes

Someone in authority apologizes?

After the plague of locusts, Exodus/Shemot 10:16-17 (Chabad translation) has Pharoah apologizing: Pharaoh hastened to summon Moses and Aaron, and he said, "I have sinned against the Lord your God ...
Gary's user avatar
  • 2,188
4 votes

Keeping your own community's dinim vs. yuhara

This is not a complete answer, but... There is an interesting responsum of R. Sherira Gaon. The question posed to him was what one should do in a place where people don't wear tefillin. Specifically, ...
Alex's user avatar
  • 49.6k
4 votes
Accepted

Why does Yitzchak's name mean to laugh if he represents gevurah?

R. Matis Weinberg discusses this topic at some length in his Patterns in Time: Rosh Hashanah (Chapter 4: the Humor of Din) as well as in Frameworks on Genesis (6: He Who Laughs Last). His thesis is ...
Joel K's user avatar
  • 43.8k
3 votes

A good maggid shiur who goes through an entire sefer of hashkafa

Because YUTorah.org has so much, I am sure such a thing must exist there. In a brief search, I found Rav Moshe Weinberger has a series of 155(!) shiurim on 'The Bilvavi on Mesilat Yesharim' (First in ...
Ze'ev's user avatar
  • 3,990
3 votes

Is there an issue of arrogance to wear Tfilin Rabenu Tam

This is an except from an excellent treatment of the subject taken from Rabbi Avi Zakutinsky who is affiliated with the OU on halachablog (see there for more). The Shulchan Aruch (34:3) rules that ...
Yaacov Deane's user avatar
  • 15.3k
3 votes
Accepted

Yishmael is the corruption of chesed

Rabbi Zaddoq HaKohen of Lublin writes this in P'ri Zaddiq (Qedushat Shabbat: Ma'amar 4): וזהו מדת אברהם אבינו ע"ה איש החסד שמפסולתו יצא ישמעאל המלא בתאוות דגילוי עריות דכתיב בהו חסד הוא שהוא פסולת ...
mevaqesh's user avatar
  • 35.7k
3 votes
Accepted

Talk to me about din

I will provide sources to show this later, but Din (דין) is the connection and transmission of intellect (מוחין) to the physical, material world. This is expressed as the connection of Tiferet via ...
Yaacov Deane's user avatar
  • 15.3k
3 votes

Talk to me about din

This how I understand your question, please correct me if I'm wrong: You see some sources that pair Hesed and Din as opposing counterparts, and also speak of their synthesis being Rahamim. Then, ...
paquda's user avatar
  • 4,901
3 votes

Book on changing habits and middot (character traits) improvement?

I think Sefer cheshbon hanefesh is what you looking for. Here is a Wikipedia link.
kouty's user avatar
  • 22.8k
3 votes

Halachot of לֵיצָנוּת: cynicism, scoffing and mockery

Certainly. I've collected a few. Let me know if this is what you were looking for. I focused on "mockery", sometimes called "clowning" in Halacha. The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chayim ...
Shmuel's user avatar
  • 10.5k
3 votes

Do you know the source of this phrase Ne'elavim V'ainam Olvim

שׁוּב מַעֲשֶׂה בְּרַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר שֶׁיָּרַד לִפְנֵי הַתֵּיבָה, וְאָמַר עֶשְׂרִים וְאַרְבַּע בְּרָכוֹת וְלֹא נַעֲנָה. יָרַד רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא אַחֲרָיו וְאָמַר: ״אָבִינוּ מַלְכֵּנוּ אֵין לָנוּ מֶלֶךְ ...
שלום's user avatar
  • 3,302
3 votes
Accepted

Understanding an apparent dichotomy in Rabbi Akiva's pre-Yeshiva days

Tosafos in K'subos (62b) picks up on this: דהוה צניע ומעלי. והא דאמר באלו עוברין (פסחים מט:) אמר ר"ע כשהייתי עם הארץ הייתי אומר מי יתן לי תלמיד חכם ואנשכנו כחמור משמע דלא הוה מעלי איכא למימר ...
Lo ani's user avatar
  • 4,586
2 votes

Is it haughty to wear a frock when one is undeserving?

There are many communities in which the custom is to start wearing this either from bar mitzvah or from being married. That being the case in such a community it would have nothing to do with being a ...
Dude's user avatar
  • 4,431
2 votes

To Confront or Not Confront...that is the question?

Rambam himself addresses this. He writes in Hilkhot De'ot (2:6) that although one should avoid anger, should the need for sternness arise, one should feign the emotions, while remaining cool, calm, ...
mevaqesh's user avatar
  • 35.7k
2 votes

Dealing with anger

Igeres Haramban read and studied once a week has helped me for many years.
sol's user avatar
  • 109
2 votes

The Torah's perspective on waiting or patience

Patience, in the sense of trusting in God and letting things take their course, is one of the core teachings of the Torah. Impatience is caused by a false feeling of control over our destiny, and as ...
DanielEvalUlay's user avatar
2 votes

‫ is self esteem good or bad?

As the Ma'amar explains, all these attributes are inherently bad. I understand this as chassidus explains that midos are from klipas noga, which inherently isn't holy but can be transformed to ...
user613's user avatar
  • 2,413

Only top scored, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible