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11 votes

Is there a condition under which a child can be exempt from honoring his father?

The Shulchan Aruch 240:18 discusses a father who is a Rasha. The Mechaber holds that there is Kibud av by a Rasha (not defined), but Ram"a argues. ממזר חייב בכבוד אביו ובמוראו. אפילו היה אביו ...
sam's user avatar
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11 votes
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How does Kibbud Av V'Eim work for a child of divorced parents?

Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 240:14 rules that if someone's divorced parents both ask him for a favor (the case of the S.A. is requesting a drink), he may choose to respond to either one first. Pischei ...
Jay's user avatar
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7 votes
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How could they call Yaakov by name?

Ohr HaYashar to Hilkhot Mamrim (6:3) points this out, but doesn't seem to answer. Daf Al Hadaf to Pesahim (56a) quotes several answers: the Sefer Merafsin Igra (page 233) is cited as suggesting that ...
mevaqesh's user avatar
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7 votes

Is a child allowed to circumcise his father?

You can ask the same question about a Jewish-from-birth father who happened never to have been circumcised. Minchas Chinuch 48 rules that the sin of injuring one's parent does not apply if one does it ...
msh210's user avatar
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7 votes
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Putting parents with mental issues in nursing homes

Ask your LOR if this is relevant but the Shulchan Aruch Yore Deah 240:10 says that if one can not deal with their elderly parents due to serious mental health defects he should have others do so: מי ...
Schmerel's user avatar
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6 votes
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Empty seat at the head of the table after the parent is dead

In general, no it does not apply after death (Az Nidbru vol. 8, 60). See Chaim Byad Y.D. 125:48 who deduces as much from the wording of the Shulchan Aruch. He adds, however, that if one's father was ...
Jay's user avatar
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6 votes

Are there situations where a child is permitted to refer to their parent by their first name?

There are instances where a child can use their parent's name. According to the Radvaz, Hilchos Mamrim 6:3, s.v. אבל, a child may use their parent's name, even in their parent's presence (and ...
Y     e     z's user avatar
6 votes

Respect for the Torah vs Respect for your Parents

Even if Torah study is greater than father's honor (SA YD 240:13), one should nevertheless take care in correcting one's father. The Rambam writes (MT Mamrim 6:11) If he sees his father violate ...
mbloch's user avatar
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5 votes
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Is there a mitzvah to honor the bechor?

The Talmud (Ketubot 103a) states: כבד את אביך ואת אמך את אביך זו אשת אביך ואת אמך זו בעל אמך וי"ו יתירה לרבות את אחיך הגדול Honor your father [et avikha] and your mother [ve’et immekha]. The ...
mevaqesh's user avatar
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Is the mitzvah to honor the bechor d'oraisa or d'raban?

The source for this is derasha in the Talmud (Ketubot 103a): כבד את אביך ואת אמך את אביך זו אשת אביך ואת אמך זו בעל אמך וי"ו יתירה לרבות את אחיך הגדול Honor your father [et avikha] and your ...
mevaqesh's user avatar
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5 votes

In regards to Torah and Rabbinical writings, how does "honor your father and mother" work when you've been raised in an abusive household?

I found an issue which addresses not directly your question but regards the right behavior regarding the kibbud av vaem when the parents have an inappropriate way of life concerning the halacha, ...
kouty's user avatar
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5 votes

Do I need to honor a grandparent?

The Rema (YD 240:24) records a dispute on the matter, but rules in accordance with the opinion that one should honor his grandparents, just that one is more obligated to honor his parents: הגה י"א ...
DonielF's user avatar
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5 votes

Is a convert's biological son obligated in "kibud av' (honoring his father)?

The Netziv (Rav Naftoli Tzvi Yehuda Berlin 19th century)in his Haskomo of Ahavas Chesed http://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=15141&st=&pgnum=7 (written by the Chafetz Chaim) speaks about ...
user15464's user avatar
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Is there a condition under which a child can be exempt from honoring his father?

I think one can shed light on this issue by examining the sources regarding the term "honor" (sometimes translated also as "respect"). No where does it say to love, appreciate, etc etc. In fact I ...
Ysiegel's user avatar
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5 votes

Are there situations where a child is permitted to refer to their parent by their first name?

The Rambam (Hilchos Mamrim 6:8) says: אֶלָּא יִמְחל וְיִתְעַלֵּם שֶׁהָאָב שֶׁמָּחַל עַל כְּבוֹדוֹ כְּבוֹדוֹ מָחוּל Rather he should forgive and ignore, as the father that forgave his honor, his honor ...
Lo ani's user avatar
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5 votes

What’s more important, keeping Shabbat or Kibbud Av V’em?

Shabbat. Leviticus 19:3: Every man shall fear his mother and his father, and you shall observe My Sabbaths. I am the Lord, your God. גאִ֣ישׁ אִמּ֤וֹ וְאָבִיו֙ תִּירָ֔אוּ וְאֶת־שַׁבְּתֹתַ֖י ...
Shalom's user avatar
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Do Jews have to take time from work to spend requested time with their parents

R' Doniel Neustadt writes: ...the poskim are in agreement that when the parent’s request will cause the child a financial loss ... the child need not obey. A child is not considered to have violated ...
Yehuda's user avatar
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The 5th Commandment - Who should be financially supported first - children or parents?

His children. The Gemara shortly after the one you quoted makes note that one is not obligated to actively spend money in order to fulfill their chiyuv of kibbud av v'eim, and in the event that they ...
DonielF's user avatar
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4 votes

Who's more important parent: father or mother?

In the section of the 10 commandments, it mentions the father first "honour your father and your mother" with the verb of Kavod - honour. However in parshat Kedoshim (Leviticus, 19:3), it mentions ...
CashCow's user avatar
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4 votes

Must one give his father the head of the table?

The Aruch Hashulchan in Yoreh Deah siman 240 siff 11 seen here says no. The son keeps his seat at the head. His reasoning was that since it's the son's house and his wife sits next to him, it would be ...
user6591's user avatar
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3 votes

In regards to Torah and Rabbinical writings, how does "honor your father and mother" work when you've been raised in an abusive household?

A relevant story in the Talmud (Kiddushin 31b) is the case of Rav Assi, who honoured his senile mother to the best of his ability, but left her when she made inappropriate advances towards him. ...
Josh's user avatar
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3 votes

In regards to Torah and Rabbinical writings, how does "honor your father and mother" work when you've been raised in an abusive household?

Dr. Benzion Sorotzkin wrote an article about this. The following are relevant passages with some additions of my own: In the Chidushei Rabbeinu Yaakov me’Lublin ve’Rabbeinu Heshel me’Krakaw (in ...
mevaqesh's user avatar
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3 votes

If someone has a doubt as to which seat in a room is his father's, Is he forbidden to sit anywhere because of kol kavua k'mechtza al mechtza?

I posed this question to a Talmid Chacham, (I don't recall his name). He said that "The Steipler Gaon" (R' Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky ZTzL - Father of R' Chaim Kanievsky) pointed out (in response to a ...
RibbisRabbiAndMore's user avatar
3 votes

Is someone allowed to enter into a church to please his father or save a life?

I assume you understand that entering a Church (especially for religious services) is forbidden by many sources and contemporary rabbanim (see e.g., R Doniel Neustadt summary or Halachipedia here) and ...
mbloch's user avatar
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3 votes

Is listening to one's parents considered honoring them or fearing them?

I heard a lecture by Rabbi Yisroel Reisman (of Brooklyn; one of his weekly-in-the-winter motzae Shabas lectures on N'viim) which cited various opinions and concluded, as best as I can recall, that at ...
msh210's user avatar
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3 votes

Kibud Av va’em & picking sides

I recommend Honoring Parents in Halacha by Rabbi Tzuriel Ta'aseh for a good collection of laws on this subject. There are two issues at play in your question. When honouring parents, who comes first, ...
Rabbi Kaii's user avatar
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Does one have to honor parents who’re in Nidui or Cherem

It appears that the answer is yes. This can be seen from the gemara in Sanhedrin 68 where Hyrkanus is withing 4 amos of his father Eliezer who was in nidui(there to help remove teffilin ) ,and the ...
sam's user avatar
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2 votes

Must one give his father the head of the table?

Although, as noted earlier, the Aruch Hashulchan YD (240:11) writes the son sits at the head, the sefer Moreh Horim UKevodom (1:52) quotes Rav Elyashiv and Rav Benzion Abba Shaul who both say the son ...
NJM's user avatar
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2 votes

Dama ben Nesina and the red heifer

Similar to the last answer but a little more. The parah adumah is called "Zos Chukas Hatorah" not "Chukas Haparah" to show that like all Mitzvohs in the Torah - they are not done ...
motel's user avatar
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2 votes

Dama ben Nesina and the red heifer

To demonstrate that although we see good rational reasons for kibbud av, we still must treat it as a chok and show unconditional observance even when it may not seem logical. This may be why it is ...
user13164's user avatar

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