11
votes
Is there a condition under which a child can be exempt from honoring his father?
The Shulchan Aruch 240:18 discusses a father who is a Rasha. The Mechaber holds that there is Kibud av by a Rasha (not defined), but Ram"a argues.
ממזר חייב בכבוד אביו ובמוראו. אפילו היה אביו ...
11
votes
Accepted
How does Kibbud Av V'Eim work for a child of divorced parents?
Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 240:14 rules that if someone's divorced parents both ask him for a favor (the case of the S.A. is requesting a drink), he may choose to respond to either one first.
Pischei ...
9
votes
Accepted
a girl marrying against her parents wishes
Tzitz Eliezer 14:73 spells this one out very explicitly: it's identical for sons and daughters -- the parents can't force them to marry or not-marry someone if they don't want to. (Though he adds that ...
8
votes
Accepted
Can someone give their parents mussar?
While one needs to be careful any time one gives rebuke, one needs to be especially careful when dealing with a parent:
Kitzur Shulchan Aruch - 143:10
רָאָה לְאָבִיו שֶׁעוֹבֵר עַל דִבְרֵי-תוֹרָה, לֹא ...
7
votes
Kibud Av versus Midas Chasidus - what wins?
As discussed previously:
Yoreh Deah 240 siman 8 says that kibud av v'em does not override "any torah or rabinic commandment."
Beis Lechem Yehuda there comments:
If a son knows that his parents ...
7
votes
Is a child allowed to circumcise his father?
You can ask the same question about a Jewish-from-birth father who happened never to have been circumcised. Minchas Chinuch 48 rules that the sin of injuring one's parent does not apply if one does it ...
6
votes
Accepted
Empty seat at the head of the table after the parent is dead
In general, no it does not apply after death (Az Nidbru vol. 8, 60).
See Chaim Byad Y.D. 125:48 who deduces as much from the wording of the Shulchan Aruch. He adds, however, that if one's father was ...
6
votes
Accepted
How could they call Yaakov by name?
Ohr HaYashar to Hilkhot Mamrim (6:3) points this out, but doesn't seem to answer.
Daf Al Hadaf to Pesahim (56a) quotes several answers: the Sefer Merafsin Igra (page 233) is cited as suggesting that ...
6
votes
Are there situations where a child is permitted to refer to their parent by their first name?
There are instances where a child can use their parent's name.
According to the Radvaz, Hilchos Mamrim 6:3, s.v. אבל, a child may use their parent's name, even in their parent's presence (and ...
6
votes
Respect for the Torah vs Respect for your Parents
Even if Torah study is greater than father's honor (SA YD 240:13), one should nevertheless take care in correcting one's father. The Rambam writes (MT Mamrim 6:11)
If he sees his father violate ...
5
votes
Accepted
What does it mean that learning torah is greater then respecting parents
One example is the ruling of the Terumat Hadeshen (40; cited here) that one can choose one's yeshiva over the objection of one's parents. Similarly, the Pri Chadash (cited in Pitchei Teshuva 240:8) ...
5
votes
Kibbud Av v'Eim Seforim
ArtScroll has a book titled "The Fifth Commandment" that sounds like it might be what you're looking for.
5
votes
Kibud Av versus Midas Chasidus - what wins?
Yeshivat Hesder Yerucham has a long discussion on Kibud Av V'Aim. It mentions in the name of Harav Yaakov Ariel that Midas Chasidus is not Doche Kibud Av V'Aim.
הוא מסביר שזה תלוי בשאלה האם הידור ...
5
votes
In regards to Torah and Rabbinical writings, how does "honor your father and mother" work when you've been raised in an abusive household?
I found an issue which addresses not directly your question but regards the right behavior regarding the kibbud av vaem when the parents have an inappropriate way of life concerning the halacha, ...
5
votes
Accepted
Is the mitzvah to honor the bechor d'oraisa or d'raban?
The source for this is derasha in the Talmud (Ketubot 103a):
כבד את אביך ואת אמך את אביך זו אשת אביך ואת אמך זו בעל אמך וי"ו יתירה לרבות את אחיך הגדול
Honor your father [et avikha] and your ...
5
votes
Accepted
Is there a mitzvah to honor the bechor?
The Talmud (Ketubot 103a) states:
כבד את אביך ואת אמך את אביך זו אשת אביך ואת אמך זו בעל אמך וי"ו יתירה לרבות את אחיך הגדול
Honor your father [et avikha] and your mother [ve’et immekha]. The ...
5
votes
Do I need to honor a grandparent?
The Rema (YD 240:24) records a dispute on the matter, but rules in accordance with the opinion that one should honor his grandparents, just that one is more obligated to honor his parents:
הגה י"א ...
5
votes
Is a convert's biological son obligated in "kibud av' (honoring his father)?
The Netziv (Rav Naftoli Tzvi Yehuda Berlin 19th century)in his Haskomo of Ahavas Chesed http://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=15141&st=&pgnum=7 (written by the Chafetz Chaim) speaks about ...
5
votes
Is there a condition under which a child can be exempt from honoring his father?
I think one can shed light on this issue by examining the sources regarding the term "honor" (sometimes translated also as "respect").
No where does it say to love, appreciate, etc etc. In fact I ...
5
votes
Are there situations where a child is permitted to refer to their parent by their first name?
The Rambam (Hilchos Mamrim 6:8) says:
אֶלָּא יִמְחל וְיִתְעַלֵּם שֶׁהָאָב שֶׁמָּחַל עַל כְּבוֹדוֹ כְּבוֹדוֹ מָחוּל
Rather he should forgive and ignore, as the father that forgave his honor, his honor ...
4
votes
What does it mean that learning torah is greater then respecting parents
The Gemara says the following in Megillah 16b:
אמר רב יוסף: גדול תלמוד תורה יותר מהצלת נפשות. דמעיקרא חשיב ליה למרדכי בתר ארבעה ולבסוף בתר חמשה. מעיקרא כתיב אשר באו עם זרבבל ישוע נחמיה שריה רעליה ...
4
votes
Accepted
The 5th Commandment - Who should be financially supported first - children or parents?
His children.
The Gemara shortly after the one you quoted makes note that one is not obligated to actively spend money in order to fulfill their chiyuv of kibbud av v'eim, and in the event that they ...
4
votes
Who's more important parent: father or mother?
In the section of the 10 commandments, it mentions the father first "honour your father and your mother" with the verb of Kavod - honour.
However in parshat Kedoshim (Leviticus, 19:3), it mentions ...
3
votes
Are there any examples of mother having priority over father?
Leviticus 19:3:
איש אמו ואביו תיראו, ואת-שבתתי תשמרו: אני, יהוה אלהיכם.
Every man must revere his mother and father, and keep My Sabbaths.
I am Hashem your Lord.
The Talmud in Kidushin 30b ...
3
votes
Why prefer the father to the mother?
The answers to your question are on the same page as the source of your question
"Ish Imo v'Aviv Tira'u" (Parsha Kedoshim, Vayikra 19:3) teaches that father and mother are equal (see also the Mishna ...
3
votes
Honor your Father and your Mother?
This is answered in Shulchan Aruch in סימן רמ - איזהו כבוד ואיזה מורא ודיניהם.
Short answer: grin and bear it.
The details - with some paraphrasing:Yes. Translating would be nice, but I don't have the ...
3
votes
What is the obligation of respecting parents
Wonderful question. You describe two levels but there might even be three
What parents ask for or command
What parents want or hint
What parents need but don't ask/hint
I believe the answer is your ...
3
votes
Correcting one's father or one's rav when he is leyning
The Rivevos Ephraim 6:33:3 deals with this exact question. He writes that the reason its assur to correct ones father in general is because it will embarrass him. The question is does this apply to ...
3
votes
Must one give his father the head of the table?
The Aruch Hashulchan in Yoreh Deah siman 240 siff 11 seen here says no. The son keeps his seat at the head. His reasoning was that since it's the son's house and his wife sits next to him, it would be ...
3
votes
If someone has a doubt as to which seat in a room is his father's, Is he forbidden to sit anywhere because of kol kavua k'mechtza al mechtza?
I posed this question to a Talmid Chacham, (I don't recall his name). He said that "The Steipler Gaon" (R' Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky ZTzL - Father of R' Chaim Kanievsky) pointed out (in response to a ...
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