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Results tagged with purim-torah-in-jest
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user 5110
THIS QUESTION IS ONLY IN JEST. "Purim Torah" is humorous and satirical writings customarily read on the Jewish holiday of Purim. Mi Yodeya has a great collection of Purim Torah, under this tag. For our collection of *real* Q&A about Judaism, see our home page: judaism.stackexchange.com.
6
votes
What are the two prohibitions, and why thank God after being bound by them?
That a person was able to get out of attending a company "holiday party" in December. He avoided avodas zarah and performing ad delo yada several months early.
- 43.5k
1
vote
PTIJ: Am I betrothed to her?
That would depend if she was using a good voice manager on the computer with which she received the email. She would also have to program her computer to use your voice to read out the email address p …
- 43.5k
6
votes
PTIJ: Why does Hashem have an onion
This is a reference to the fact that the Mishkan was designed with Hashem's onions. As in says Shmos 31:2
רְאֵ֖ה קָרָ֣אתִי בְשֵׁ֑ם בְּצַלְאֵ֛ל
It also had to be grown in the garden of the king f …
- 43.5k
2
votes
PTIJ: Can a king ask someone wearing a Yale U. sweatshirt a war question?
Rav Yonasan Eybshutz says that the reason Mordechai allowed himself to be dressed in בגדי מלכות was becausֵe only a king could destroy Amalek. This destruction was required before the Bais Hamikdash c …
- 43.5k
5
votes
PTIJ: Why is Vashti referred to in the plural in Megillat Rut?
Vashti is referred to in the plural as she was gene engineered from two women as it says in the megilla.
גַּם וַשְׁתִּ֣י הַמַּלְכָּ֔ה עָֽשְׂתָ֖ה מִשְׁתֵּ֣ה נָשִׁ֑ים
And Vashti was made from t …
- 43.5k
5
votes
Accepted
PTIJ: How could there still be pieces left?
We have the medrash that the letters detached themselves from the stone and returned to shamaim. As a result, the stones became too heavy and Moshe Rabbeinu threw them down and they shattered. It was …
- 43.5k
4
votes
Accepted
PTIJ: Bearded vultures
That would depend if he used a razor or not. If he used a razor it would be a siman that he was not keeping the mitzvos of the torah and would therefore remain forbidden at the table.
- 43.5k
1
vote
PTIJ: Meaning of roshei teivos "PTIJ"? ר”ת פתא"י - מי יודע?
פתחי תשובה ארץ ישראל
Summary of answers regarding Eretz Yisrael
We are in the middle of a major machlokes whether the questions must involve problems occurring in Eretz Yisrael or if the people who …
- 43.5k
3
votes
PTIJ: How to make a palace out of people
The first part of the pasuk states that Vashti was cloned from two women so that she had two mothers and no father.
The second half of the pasuk deal with the concept that אשתו היא ביתו and that a wi …
- 43.5k
2
votes
PTIJ: Biblical sizes
Hashem used the technology of the TARDIS to make the inside of the dog bigger than the outside. He also used the Star Trek replicator technology to provide food and water for the three days. When it w …
- 43.5k
23
votes
Accepted
If Rabbi Google quotes Mi Yodeya, can i rely on his advice?
I would say that Google could not become a "Rabbi" because lo bashamayim hi and Google is in the Cloud (like a malach and not a Rabbi). If we don't take a psak from a direct bas kol then how can we ac …
- 43.5k
1
vote
Is one allowed to offer bounties on Mi Yodeya?
He who chases honor, honor runs away from him. He who runs away from honor, honor pursues him. One is required to be an anav and recognize that the talents that enabled him to accumulate the reputatio …
- 43.5k
4
votes
How can G-d Halachically trust in Himself?
The Baruch ben Neriah talmid of Yirmiyahu was the man who could trust in Hashem. Yermiyahu said that Hashem would protect him during the coming exile even though (since he would be in Bavel) he could …
- 43.5k
4
votes
Why does wine need to be kosher lepesah?
It would be an insult to a person to rely on the psak of a dog (that it is not edible) when the person enjoys it. You are saying that the dog has better taste (pun intended) than the human being.
Bes …
- 43.5k
6
votes
Accepted
Where did Moses's successor come from if he had no parents?
Everyone who was at the revelation at Sinai and was considered a convert, and a convert is considered a tinok shenolad, without relatives (see the discussion abou ger who can marry his sister who is a …
- 43.5k