Genesis 27:45:

> עַד־שׁ֨וּב אַף־אָחִ֜יךָ מִמְּךָ֗ וְשָׁכַח֙ **אֵ֣ת אֲשֶׁר־עָשִׂ֣יתָ לּ֔וֹ**
> וְשָׁלַחְתִּ֖י וּלְקַחְתִּ֣יךָ מִשָּׁ֑ם לָמָ֥ה אֶשְׁכַּ֛ל
> גַּם־שְׁנֵיכֶ֖ם י֥וֹם אֶחָֽד׃

My Modified Sefaria translation:

> until your brother’s anger turn away from you, and he forgets **what you
> did to him**; then I will send, and take you from there (Lavan's home).
> Why should I be bereaved of you both in one day?’

While it is true that Ya'akov performed the action of stealing Esav's blessing, he was just following his mother's suggestion. At first, he did not want to do it. In this verse, when Rivkah says "what **you** did to him", there seems to be no implication that she accepts responsibility for his action. There is also no verse indicating Ya'akov complaining or challenging what his mother just said.

Was Rivka implying that the action was **entirely** Ya'akov's responsibility? If so, could Ya'akov have refused to follow his mother's orders without disobeying *Kibud Av Va'em*?