On this, and many other related issues, see Rabbi Yehuda Herzl Henkin's excellent essay in Bnei Banim 4:16. (Available on hebrewbooks.org)

Honestly, I would advise chassanim and kallos to read Henkin's essay and discuss with their posek, and *not* to read the mishnah brurah there. (Note that Shulchan Aruch discusses the subject in Orach Chaim, then repeats it in Even HaEzer; a whole lot of the asceticism in the former is absent from the latter.) See more on the [article and comments here][1].


  [1]: http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=torahmusings.com%20henkin%20mimetic%20sexuality&source=web&cd=3&cad=rja&ved=0CC0QFjAC&url=http://torahmusings.com/2011/11/sexuality-and-jewish-tradition/&ei=jQOXUNqvK6XW0QGw6oC4Aw&usg=AFQjCNEfZ6-ksBlaEip-1ThcIylT4jyX3g