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Questions tagged [wedding]

wedding ceremony (and reception etc.)

23
votes
3answers
7k views

My Orthodox Jewish co-worker invited me to his wedding. Anything I should know about?

My Orthodox Jewish co-worker invited me to his wedding, but I've never been to a Jewish wedding before. Is there anything I should be aware about if I plan to attend?
18
votes
3answers
3k views

Why don't brides (always) cover their hair for their weddings?

Why don't brides (always) cover their hair for their weddings? I understand that in some ultra-religious groups they do, but there seem to be many groups within Orthodoxy where they do not cover their ...
18
votes
4answers
1k views

Intermarriage Attendance

Is there a Halachic problem with being in attendance to an intermarriage preformed in a regular hall meaning not a problematic location? What is the source in the Halachic literature if there is an ...
15
votes
4answers
488 views

maftir: an honor?

A bar mitzva or bridegroom is usually (in congregations I'm familiar with, or, at least, Ashkenazic ones) given maftir. Why is this, considering that it's the lowliest of all the aliyos (e.g.)? (The ...
14
votes
5answers
2k views

Is a mechitza required for dancing at Jewish weddings? Why?

If the men and women aren't dancing together, is it strictly required that there also be a mechitza between them? If so, why? What guidelines would this mechitza have to meet? Or is it simply a smart ...
14
votes
3answers
5k views

Menstruating on Wedding Day

What happens in the case of a bride menstruating on her wedding day or her menstruation ending a few days before her wedding day and cannot go to the mikvah? Does the rabbi refuse to perform the ...
14
votes
1answer
1k views

If a Jewish couple is married through a civil ceremony alone, do Jewish marriage laws apply to them thereafter?

If a Jewish couple is married through a civil ceremony alone, do Jewish marriage laws apply to them thereafter? Assume no ketubah; perhaps a ring, but not necessarily 2 witnesses. Could one say that ...
13
votes
5answers
665 views

Standing up at the Chuppa when the Kallah passes by

Last night I was at a wedding, and when I stood up as the bride was passing by on the way to the Chuppa, a fellow in all seriousness told me "It is not proper and a lack of Tzniyus to stand up for the ...
13
votes
4answers
2k views

Wedding ring composition considerations

I was recently told that the ring used for kiddushin should be made entirely out of one kind of metal (usually gold), with no other adornments such as diamonds, etc. I had been under the impression ...
12
votes
3answers
3k views

How to explain to friends/family that one will not attend an intermarriage

Suppose a friend or family member becomes engaged to a non-Jew. For the sake of this question, also assume that a trusted rabbi has been consulted and he has ruled (after considering any relevant ...
11
votes
4answers
972 views

Is there a minhag for a chassan and kallah to hold hands after the chupah?

I have been to many weddings where the chassan and kallah hold hands after the chupah on their way to the yichud room. It seems like a widespread (minhag?) thing that everyone does, even by couples ...
11
votes
2answers
786 views

Is it possible to have a Jewish wedding after a civil ceremony?

My (legal) husband and I had a small courthouse wedding ceremony, which was done entirely for practical reasons after my cancer diagnosis. Neither of us are as frum now as we were raised, but having a ...
11
votes
2answers
1k views

May a man wear a wedding band?

Is there any halachic reason that a man may not wear a wedding band (ring)? Possible reasons to forbid it would include beged isha and chukas hagoyim.
11
votes
3answers
774 views

Which authorities approve/disapprove of mixed events for singles?

Some weddings have mixed seating at the reception; some have separate seating. Some organizations and communities encourage or at least allow mixed events for singles; some discourage or forbid them. ...
11
votes
1answer
691 views

Explanation for couple not seeing each other before the wedding?

What is the source and reason for a couple not to see one another before the wedding?
11
votes
2answers
475 views

Is there a difference between “p” and “f” when transliterating from English to Hebrew?

When transliterating an English name to Hebrew (e.g. for a Ketubah or Get), is there a way to distinguish between a "p" and "f" sound? E.g. Fine, NY vs Pine, CO. Would both just be spelled (assuming ...
11
votes
1answer
682 views

“Wedding anniversary” in Jewish thought.

Does the concept of "wedding anniversary" specifically enter Jewish thought or is it to be thought of as another of the many occasions for giving thanks to HKB"H?
11
votes
2answers
160 views

Non-observant Jewish Couples Having Halachic Weddings

In a shiur, I learned that if secular or non-observant Jews have a halachically binding wedding, then if they separate and don't manage to perform a get (as a get may even seem irrelevant to them), ...
10
votes
5answers
649 views

Kallah's Veil under Chupah

Why does the Kallah wear a veil under the Chupah? (and why is it generally transparent?)
10
votes
2answers
2k views

Non-Jewish family in an Orthodox Jewish Wedding

In a case of a Ger/Convert, what role can non-Jewish parents play at the wedding ceremony? Halachically can the parents accompany their child down the aisle? Could they stand under the Chuppa? Any ...
10
votes
1answer
384 views

Electronic communication immediately before wedding

Is it permissible to chat with your future spouse during the week before the wedding when you are not supposed to see each other face to face? Are any, all, or none of the following permissible: Text ...
10
votes
2answers
886 views

Source for Raincoat under Chuppah

There is a minhag among some people in recent years to wear a raincoat under the Chuppah. What is the source of this minhag? When did this minhag start? And is there anyone who specifically says not ...
10
votes
1answer
647 views

Who should walk the Chosson and Kallah to the Chupa?

At the Chuppah in some weddings I've been to, the father and father-in-law escort the Chosson and the mother and mother-in-law escort the Kallah. In others, the mother and fathers each escort their ...
10
votes
2answers
197 views

Why are the words Kiddushin, Erusin, Nissuin plural?

The Mishnah says "האיש מקדש", just like on Shabbos. Nevertheless, on Shabbos we call it a Kiddush (single) but on wedding we call it either Kiddushin, Erusin, Nissuin which are all plural.
10
votes
3answers
260 views

Why דָּת in Esther but דַּת in kidushin?

There are two places "דָּת" appears in Tanach in a form that means "the law of": Esther 2:12 and 9:13. In both places it appears as "דָּת" with a kamatz.[1] Yet, when we marry, according to the ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

How can there be only two Halachic witnesses at a large wedding?

By what power or logic can the mesader kiddushin saying that two specific, designated people are the only witnesses to a wedding change the fact that all assembled have seen all that transpired at the ...
9
votes
1answer
274 views

Wedding Day Forgiveness

I heard that all a person's sins are forgiven on one's wedding day. Is this true? What is the source? Does it also apply to sins committed between man and his fellow (as opposed to man and G-d)? And ...
9
votes
1answer
266 views

Saying Tachanun if there is a Kallah in the ladies section

The Minhag is not to say Tachanun in a Minyan where there is a Chasan present. Suppose a Kallah came to Shul (and there is no Chasan present) for Shacharis or Mincha and is in the ladies section, do ...
9
votes
1answer
152 views

Why is Kiddushin Performed “according to the tradition of Moshe and Israel”?

When betrothing a woman, the groom says "Behold, you are betrothed to me with this ring, according to the tradition of Moshe and Israel." As explained in that article, "according to the tradition of ...
9
votes
1answer
616 views

How is “Jerusalem” pronounced when reading a Ketubah?

"Jerusalem" is spelled the same way in Hebrew and Aramaic (if you ignore the vowels); but in Hebrew it's pronounced "Yerushalayim", and in Aramaic it's pronounced "Yerushleim" (as it appears in the ...
9
votes
1answer
495 views

Why do Chabad wedding invitations show the wrong time?

It has recently come to my attention that Chabad wedding invitations in the US are often bilingual Hebrew/English and the time given for the wedding on the Hebrew side is wrong (perhaps a copy of the ...
8
votes
1answer
462 views

Ring and kiddushin

Where did the concept of the chosson (groom) giving the kallah (bride) a ring, specifically, for kiddushin (i.e. under the chuppah) come from?
8
votes
6answers
2k views

Sources for/about breaking a plate at a wedding

Are you aware of any literature that either provides a source for or discusses the significance of the two mothers breaking a plate at the "Tisch" at a wedding? It's not hard to find mentions of this ...
8
votes
1answer
632 views

Is an unconsumated marriage still a halachic marriage?

If the wedding ceremony is completed and the man and woman are led off to the yichud room -all the formalities are done, the kesubah is signed etc, however is the act is not actually consummated are ...
8
votes
2answers
253 views

Does a wedding on Yom Yerushalayim exempt the couple from fasting?

I attended a wedding last Sunday, which was Yom Yerushalayim. The chattan and Kallah did not fast as they claimed that since it was a day when they did not say Tachanun, and they said Halel, it was ...
8
votes
1answer
138 views

Hadas at weddings and Brit Milah

Why do Sefardim place Hadas by the Huppah and Kise Eliyahu by weddings and brit milah respectively?
8
votes
1answer
652 views

When does a chosson free the congregation from saying tachanun?

A chosson frees the congregation with whom he davens from saying tachanun. What sources are there for this in the following tefillos: Shacharis on the day of the wedding Mincha before the chuppah (...
8
votes
1answer
249 views

How to light when getting married on a night of Chanuka

A friend of mine is getting married on one of the nights of Chanuka this year. I do know that he has been in contact with his rabbi about this, but since I'm not sure what he said, I'll post this ...
8
votes
2answers
282 views

Is there any restriction on what constitutes a veil for bedeken?

What can be considered a veil to be used in a bedeken at a wedding? (See also my other related question)
8
votes
1answer
1k views

Why do the mothers break the plate?

At a wedding [or by the engagement], a plate is customarily broken at the "tena'im." This has already been discussed over here. As I have seen at weddings, and as is brought over here the custom is ...
8
votes
1answer
139 views

Why are women on right side of room by a funeral & left side by weddings?

I just came from an orthodox funeral & noticed that the women were on the right side of the room & the men on the left. By weddings however it's the opposite with men on the right & women ...
7
votes
2answers
681 views

Wedding invitation Hebrew abbreviation

What do the letters ayin, bet, gimmel stand for between the groom's name and the bride's name on a Jewish, Hebrew wedding invitation? In the past, I've seen ayin, bet, lamed which I believe stands ...
7
votes
1answer
367 views

Mincha before early wedding

If a couple is getting married early in the day (before mincha), when do they add the viduy from Yom Kippur to mincha? Do they do it the day before, the day of (after the wedding), or not at all?
7
votes
1answer
8k views

Does a Jewish wedding involve bridesmaids or groomsmen?

Are there such roles? If so, what purpose do they serve? If creating bridesmaids or groomsmen is a distinctly American (or Christian) cultural practice, then what are some reasons for or against ...
7
votes
2answers
101 views

What is the source for carrying candles down at a wedding?

I know that there are many explanations as to why many Jews have this custom (to commemorate the fire at har sinai, etc.), but where is the original source? Where originally did it come from? I have ...
7
votes
3answers
506 views

What is the source for untying things before going under the chuppah?

At a wedding recently I saw that the grooms shoes were untied, someone explained to me that there is a custom to make sure there are no knots under the chuppah. Where does this come from?
7
votes
1answer
349 views

Zecher L'Churban - Why a plate at Tenayim and a glass at the Chupah?

When a person gets engaged and married there are various things that we do as a Zecher L'Churban. At the Tenayim (whether done immediately or at the wedding) we break an earthernware plate, at the ...
7
votes
1answer
2k views

“How long is a Jewish wedding?”

If someone who's not familiar with Jewish customs is invited to a Jewish wedding and comes to you to ask how long to plan to be there, how do you respond? It's easy enough to say "It can vary a great ...
7
votes
1answer
115 views

Why is the kesuba not written in a native language?

The kesuba (marriage contract) is written in a smattering of Hebrew with Aramaic thrown in. It is possible that onr or both parties may not know what all the words in the kesuba mean. Furthermore it ...
7
votes
1answer
568 views

Why are wedding invitation abbreviated b'rachos different for males and females?

Many wedding invitations written in Hebrew that I've seen have the abbreviations נ"י - after the groom's name - and תחי'‏ - after the bride's name. (Example) Sometimes they are slight alterations ...