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Questions tagged [sitting-shiva]

7 day mourning period observed after a death by the immediate family

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2 votes
2 answers
92 views

Maximum shiur for chair height for those sitting shivah

According to Halacha, those in aveilut sitting shiva should sit in shorter chairs, see here. Therefor, what is the maximum shiur for permitted chair height when defining a short chair when it comes ...
0 votes
2 answers
189 views

Does a mourner sit in a low chair when attending a minyan for any reason?

A mourner, during the first 7 days sits on a low chair. The mourner also generally does not leave the house. One exception would be if there is no minyan that can be set up in the mourner's house, so ...
1 vote
2 answers
485 views

Does Yom Kippur end mourning

In halacha Yom Tov ends shloshim and shiva, my question is does the same rule apply to Yom Kippur if a close relative dies during the days of repentance? Or is Yom Kippur different from other holidays ...
0 votes
1 answer
59 views

Looking for quote from Maimonides on a widow wearing scarlet

I was recently reading up on the account of Tamar and Judah (re' her widowhood and whether she was considered betrothed to Shelah), and I came across a quote from Maimonides in relation to her actions,...
8 votes
2 answers
1k views

Mixed Minyan in a Shiva House

What to do when helping make a minyan for mourners in a shiva house when at prayer time they insist on davening conservative style, men and women sitting together?
2 votes
0 answers
374 views

Why is Music not allowed at Jewish Funerals?

When my mother died several decades ago, a childhood friend and I performed her favorite Yiddish song, "Dona Dona," at her funeral. Being raised in non-observant families we were surprised ...
4 votes
2 answers
484 views

Can a grandson visit his grandfather grave during the Shiva?

And put a tombal decoration (like flowers, candles) on the grave? Or should he wait after the Shiva?
5 votes
2 answers
442 views

Source for "Hamakom" said at shiva and variations

What is the source for the text of hamakom? In Israel I noticed that they add some words that I never heard in the States (something like"vlo yosifo lidavek?od") , what is the source for them and why ...
0 votes
0 answers
106 views

Can one make a Siyum During Shiva?

Related to this, this, this and this. During Shiva, a mourner is allowed to study Sefer Iyov. Assuming that learning this one sefer is enough to make a siyum, could a mourner make a siyum during the ...
1 vote
3 answers
5k views

Shiva and Cremation

In the event that a deceased individual is willfully cremated, a common p'sak I have heard many times is that the relatives do not sit Shiva as one normally does for the deceased. In particular, ...
8 votes
2 answers
3k views

Is there an online list of Perakim of Mishnayos arranged alphabetically?

There is a popular custom cited by Chabad to recite Mishnayos which initialize the deceased’s name. While they note that many Siddurim and Mishnayos have a list which alphabetizes the Mishnayos by ...
1 vote
1 answer
6k views

Leftover food from a Shiva house

slightly related to this question: according to the tradition that one should not take food from a Shiva home to eat elsewhere outside the home; does this include taking food after the shiva period ...
5 votes
0 answers
522 views

Sitting shiva for intermarrying child

We all heard about families sitting shiva if a child marries out of faith. Are there documented cases of this happening? (With all the rites of Shiva, not just cutting the child out of the family.) ...
1 vote
0 answers
51 views

What defines a "mourner's home" (bet aveil)?

I'm asking this as a follow-up to this question. Certain prayers such as tachanun are omitted when praying in a mourner's home. OU says that this is true even if the mourners are not present. ...
1 vote
1 answer
94 views

Minhag not to return home directly after shiva visit?

I was doing a shiva visit today and, when leaving, someone said we shouldn't walk home directly but instead should take a stroll before returning home. I had never heard of that minhag - but it might ...
3 votes
1 answer
151 views

Why does Miktzas Hayom not apply to the evening of the seventh night of shiva?

A person gets up from Shiva (and ends Shloshim) on the morning of that particular day because of the principal of miktzas hayom kekulo, that part of the day counts as the entire day. Why does this not ...
8 votes
1 answer
218 views

What do people need when sitting shiva?

Suppose I'm in charge of seeing to it that some mourners about to begin shiva have their physical needs and comforts to the extent possible. (Here, physical needs includes physical things needed for ...
7 votes
4 answers
5k views

Eating at a shiva house

What is the basis for some people's practice not to eat the food at a shiva house; is there a halachik basis for this, is it a minhag or perhaps just superstition?
1 vote
1 answer
159 views

Is it fine for someone to do "kri-ah" for a step-daughter?

I recently walked into a shiva home for a mother who lost her daughter. For the father, this was his step-daughter. I know that he doesn't sit shiva, but I noticed that he had a torn jacket collar. ...
0 votes
1 answer
885 views

Is one allowed to change the torn shirt during shiva?

When I have visited someone during the shiva week, I notice that they wear a torn shirt. I know that the shirt is usually torn at the funeral home or cemetery prior to burial. I assume that the ...
0 votes
1 answer
188 views

What is the origin and reason for mourners to sit on the floor or low seat?

I have seen a few examples in the Torah of people ripping their clothes as a sign of mourning. But the earliest example of someone being on the floor as a sign of prayer seems to be King David's ...
0 votes
1 answer
378 views

Can an Avel read from the Torah?

While someone is sitting shiva, are they allowed to be a ba'al koreh and read from the Torah, or is that considered simcha?
1 vote
1 answer
191 views

Can One Fulfill Nichum Aveilim After Shiva? [duplicate]

There is a Mitzva of comforting mourners after losing a close relative called Nichum Aveilim. This is typically done by paying a Shiva call at the place of mourning. See here for a complete overview ...
4 votes
1 answer
139 views

no shiva after finding out after sheloshim?

I interpret the shiva as also being a time for the mourner to psychologically process the loss of the deceased. If a mourner only learns about the deceased's passing more than 30 days after the death,...
11 votes
4 answers
2k views

Why do we comfort a mourner with Hamakom Yenachem Eschem?

Why, when comforting a mourner at the completion of a Shiva visit, do we refer to G-d as Hamakom? We say Hamakom Yanachem Eschem - why not Hashem Yenachem or Elokim Yenachem?
1 vote
0 answers
38 views

Why does the shiva expression begn with term המקום? [duplicate]

Prior to leaving the shiva house, visitors say to the mourners: המקום ינחם אתכם... Meaning (literally) "The place should comfort you..." WHat is the meaning of referring to God as "the place" ...
5 votes
2 answers
835 views

Is Selichos recited in the house of a mourner during shiva on Asara B'Tevet?

Is Selichot said in the house of an avel during shiva on the 10th of Tevet? Does the mourner lead the Selichos?
0 votes
0 answers
52 views

Does a convert mourn for a deceased parent? [duplicate]

Since they are not considered as family and a "convert" goes as ben or bas Avraham would he or she mourn when their biological parent or parents pass away?
3 votes
1 answer
96 views

Sitting shiva upon the death of excommunicated individuals?

If a Minudeh (excommunicated individual) dies, does his or her family sit shiva for them? Does it matter whether they previously mourned this individual as part of the excommunication process?
4 votes
1 answer
693 views

Sitting shiva for a parent who married a gentile

Someone told me that if your parent marries a gentile, you are halachically not supposed to sit shiva for them when they pass away. This doesn't sound like it could be true. Can you please clarify?
4 votes
2 answers
482 views

Kohen aliyah during shiva

If a kohen is in his shiva period, can he take the kohen aliyah if there is no other kohen present? We had such a situation on Shabbat at mincha. One ruling said that the kohen should take the ...
4 votes
1 answer
867 views

Is there a prohibition against bringing children to a shiva house?

Is there a prohibition against bringing children to a shiva house? I know that children aren't usually brought and that it's respectful to ask in each case, but does anyone know if there is an actual ...
5 votes
2 answers
2k views

Do I sit Shiva after my parents if I am converted to Judaism?

If the parents of a ger pass away, must the convert sit shiva for them? If so, is it preferable to sit shiva in the mourner's hometown or the parent's hometown?
2 votes
0 answers
162 views

Jewish mourning practices - candle cup of water salt for seven days after burial

I am looking for more information regarding the following custom or minhag excerpt: "It was customary to keep a candle burning in the death chamber during the week after burial; one report has it ...
1 vote
0 answers
442 views

Does a grandson saying kaddish for a grandparent where there are no sons take on other responsibilities [closed]

I will soon be faced with saying kaddish for a grandparent (grandparents only had daughters; father and uncles not able/willing to take on this responsibility). What other responsibilities will fall ...
9 votes
2 answers
3k views

Walking around the house after shiva

I'd heard something about how some people, when getting up after the week of "sitting shiva" (mourning), take a walk around the outside of their house before going back to "normal" life. Has anyone ...
2 votes
1 answer
192 views

Can two shivas "overlap"?

This is hypothetical, and it shouldn't happen to anyone... In the middle of observing shiva for one's mother, that person's father dies. Do the two shivas overlap, or does one wait for the first to ...
7 votes
2 answers
875 views

Does one sit shiva for someone he killed?

I understand sitting shiva to be an expression of bereavement. If I (hypothetically) was the victim of constant abuse which lasted for years and I ultimately, in an act of self defense, had to kill my ...
5 votes
1 answer
1k views

Not sitting shiva when the baby passes away after 30 days

Recently, a 2-month-old baby passed away ל"ע, and the family indicated that there would be no shiva. Under what circumstances is there no shiva for a baby that lives passed 30 days?
9 votes
2 answers
9k views

Sitting shiva for non-Jewish relatives?

Should one sit shiva for a non-Jewish relative? Say your mother is Jewish and your father is not, and he dies.
6 votes
0 answers
108 views

Protocol/requirements for repeat visits to a Shiv'ah house

What are the Protocol/requirements for repeat visits to a Shiv'ah house? Are there any formalities that can be set aside (letting them speak first, sitting with them, as opposed to chatting by the ...
3 votes
2 answers
482 views

Unrelated kadish in a shiv'a house

What should someone who would otherwise be saying kadish (whether as an obligation or not) do in a shiv'a (mourning) house? Should he say kadish along with the mourners (I'm asking according to the ...
2 votes
1 answer
3k views

Wishing Chayim Aruchim to Non-Mourners [closed]

Among not yet frum people the traiditional blessing of haMakom is not used but rather people wish each other ' a long life or chayim aruchim' whilst this term is reserved for avelimg. Is there any ...