The Stack Overflow podcast is back! Listen to an interview with our new CEO.

Questions tagged [shidduchim-dating]

matchmaking; finding a spouse

Filter by
Sorted by
Tagged with
15
votes
7answers
3k views

40 Days Before Conception

It is written somewhere (I don't remember exactly where) that 40 days before conception, it is called out in Heaven who that person will marry. However, if the person gets married multiple times how ...
11
votes
1answer
355 views

(How) was Tu B'Av observed as a matchmaking/singles-meeting event through history?

I know the Talmud describes how the fifteenth day of the month of Av (Tu b'Av) was a day of ... I'd say "matchmaking", but I think "marriage-minded-singles-meeting" is more like it: אמר רבן שמעון ...
10
votes
1answer
1k views

May one propose with an engagement ring?

Are there any Halachic issues with giving a girl a ring while asking her to marry him? Are there any sources that discuss the sha'alah of safek Kiddushin, etc?
8
votes
2answers
786 views

What do you say when asked Shidduch information

Often when we are asked Shidduch information we are stuck between the Halachos of Lashon Hara. Suppose there is an illness you are aware of, however it really is not something that would affect a ...
16
votes
3answers
530 views

How are the two tales of dancing in vineyards on the 15th of Av related?

The Mishna tells us (Taanis 26b) that on the 15th of Av, unmarried girls would borrow clothes, dance in the vineyard, and invite the unmarried men to choose them for marriage. The Talmud (Taanis 30b) ...
1
vote
4answers
245 views

What is shiduchim?

In Shulchan Aruch, Even Ha'ezer 26:4, it is written: ואפילו קדשה בכסף או בשטר אם לא שידך תחלה או שקידש בשוק מכין אותו מכת מרדות והיא מקודשת: הגה וי״א שאין מכין אם קידש בכסף או בשטר אפי׳ בשוק ובלא ...
2
votes
4answers
528 views

(How) can a man seek favor from (or woo) a potential bride and/or her family?

Regarding Jews 1. Is a man permitted to woo the maiden (/her parents)? (Maybe it is not tznius (since maybe this is what a man does only to his wife)) 2. Is it preferable that he (or family) do it ? 3....
9
votes
5answers
473 views

Why didn't Avraham tell Eliezer to go get Rivka?

In Parshas Chayei Sara, Avraham tells Eliezer to go find a wife for Yitzchok from his family, כִּי אֶל אַרְצִי וְאֶל מוֹלַדְתִּי תֵּלֵךְ וְלָקַחְתָּ אִשָּׁה לִבְנִי לְיִצְחָק:‏ and not from the ...
6
votes
0answers
313 views

Height of havdalah candle = height of spouse?

I have seen havdalah ceremonies where a unmarried person is charged with holding the havdalah candle and is told to hold it at the height that s/he would want their spouse to be. What is the source ...
14
votes
3answers
1k views

Can someone have more than one potential soulmate simultaneously?

I have been told from several different people that it is possible for one person to have multiple Besherts (divinely intended marriage partners, soulmates if you will) to choose from. He may only ...
13
votes
1answer
470 views

Does someone who dies very young have a soulmate?

As discussed in this question, the Talmud tells us that 40 days before someone is born, a heavenly voice calls out "This person is destined for so-and-so". Not sure if anyone can answer this, but I'...
11
votes
3answers
824 views

Which authorities approve/disapprove of mixed events for singles?

Some weddings have mixed seating at the reception; some have separate seating. Some organizations and communities encourage or at least allow mixed events for singles; some discourage or forbid them. ...
8
votes
3answers
1k views

Having children when both parents are Tay-Sachs carriers

This is an obvious CYLOR question, but I am interested in whatever halachic information is available out there. Suppose a couple got married without ever getting genetically tested for Tay-Sachs. ...
5
votes
1answer
1k views

Where can I find a “guide” to shidduch resume etiquette and protocol?

It seems that all my local shadchanim require a shiduch "resume". I am really new to this concept, and so are my kids. I looked at some samples, and I don't understand some of the abbreviations, ...
12
votes
1answer
197 views

Did shadchanim suggest the shidduch?

Today, the role of the Shadchan is, depending on your community, to suggest to the prospective match that they meet, to introduce them, to arrange their meetings, and/or to advocate / be the ...
10
votes
3answers
753 views

Kohanim Dating Ba'alot Teshuva

Is it necessary for a Kohen to clarify that a prospective match who is a ba'alat teshuvah has not had sexual relations with a non-Jew before dating her, or can one rely on a chezkat kashrut? If the ...
5
votes
2answers
654 views

Where could an extreme ultra-orthodox baal t'shuva etc. realistically find a shidduch? [closed]

When it comes to shidduchim, the extreme ultra-orthodox (both chassidim and non-chassidim) often seem to discriminate against equally (or even more) religious (children of) baalei t'shuva, gerim, ...
2
votes
1answer
178 views

Parents mix in to marriage until 24 years old

I was once told that parents have a bigger say regarding who you (maybe only male) marry before you are 24 years old Is this true? if yes sources please (The only thing I saw that changes after the ...
13
votes
4answers
5k views

Is the lemon slice added to a soda in many bars a problem kosher-wise?

Many bars (and hotel lobbies) will add a lemon wedge to the top of a glass of soda; often it's used to differentiate between Diet Coke (gets the lemon) and regular Coke (no lemon). Does this pose a ...
11
votes
2answers
661 views

Must a Divorced Man Wear a Tallis While Davening?

According to a common custom among Ashkenazim, a man only starts wearing a tallis while davening after he gets married. Does a divorced man continue to wear a tallis when davening? Or could/should he ...
10
votes
2answers
552 views

Was Rabbi Akiva obligated to divulge that his daughter was destined to die on her wedding day?

Inspired by this question (perhaps even a duplicate). From the Talmud (Shabbat 156b) (Soncino Translation): From R. Akiba too [we learn that] Israel is free from planetary influence. For R. Akiba ...
7
votes
1answer
323 views

Genetic testing before the first date?

Let's lay down assumptions: The shidduch dating system in which young men meet with young women to interact socially is permitted, and in fact practiced, only with the intention of potential marriage ...
6
votes
2answers
452 views

Laws regarding excessive conversation while dating

In speaking with a friend regarding conversation between men and women who are dating, this is what they said: So I asked someone who knows about these things and she said that it originates from ...
3
votes
0answers
105 views

Dating and Havdala candle

I've heard people talking about the merit of a good relationship with his shidduch in dating from the act of holding the Havdala candle. How does the two relate?
3
votes
1answer
857 views

Segulot for finding a Shidduch

If someone is having a hard time finding a shidduch, what can they do to help the process along? Are there any recommendations brought in the holy books that will make it easier?
1
vote
1answer
153 views

Giving your z'chus to someone else

B"H, I did - or almost did - a good deed. (It will be finalized bez"H in a mazeldiker shoh.) However, when I found out a few months ago that a good result from my actions was on the horizon, I decided ...
1
vote
1answer
133 views

If a bride did not reveal a medical condition before the marriage is it a mekach taus (annuled)

@DonielF in a comment here seem to clame that (by the end of Ketubot) it is written that a marriage can be annuled (as a mekach tous) if the bride (I guess or her father) withheld information about ...
0
votes
2answers
254 views

“man seduces a woman for the sake of marriage”

Rambam isurai bia 21:13 (Chabad , sefaria , Hebrewbooks , mechon-mamre) Whenever...a man seduces a woman for the sake of marriage...all of the children born in these situations will be rebellious ...