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Questions tagged [sexuality]

NOTE: Please respect that in the Jewish tradition certain questions, especially certain questions relating to sexuality, are discussed only in private. Such questions will be closed or deleted at the discretion of the moderators or community. Also note that, like Wikipedia, this site makes no guarantee of validity, and does not offer professional (particularly rabbinic) advice. Treat information from this site like it came from a crowd of your friends.

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25
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20answers
6k views

How can I curb my sexual desire?

I am looking for the best and most practical suggestion as to what a man can do to curb his yetzer hara (evil inclination) for sexual desire. Please provide sources for why your answer should be ...
8
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2answers
3k views

Does Judaism permit sexual relationships outside of marriage?

I am eager to know more about different religions from Islam to Judaism. Furthermore, how different religions look at women and comparing their kinds of approaches to the matter of gender and ...
11
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5answers
6k views

From where do we know that sexual intercourse with a non-jewish woman is forbidden?

From where do we know that a jewish man cannot have sexuel intercourse with a non-jewish woman? What say the Kabbala about this ? Is it related to dark forces, "qelipoth"?
16
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6answers
8k views

Does Judaism consider virginity to be a virtue?

Wikipedia outlines the attitudes of various cultures towards virginity including: Judaism In Judaism, sex is not considered to be sinful. Though premarital sex is disapproved, there is no ...
23
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1answer
2k views

How is gender halachically determined?

I apologize if this is a sensitive topic, but it seems that this question is foundational to some of the discussions that appear here. I hope that my wording is appropriate. If I understand correctly,...
23
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4answers
9k views

What does Judaism think about homosexuality?

Is being gay a sin? Can one be a Jew and a gay person at the same time? How does the Jewish community think about gays?
16
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4answers
2k views

Would a baalat teshuva need a get from each previous sexual relationship?

Would a baalat teshuva need a get from each previous sexual relationship? In light of the idea that marriage can be contracted solely through bi'ah/public knowledge of the couple's relationship (as ...
6
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3answers
1k views

Homosexuality is “worse than murder”?

A sign at a recent rally protesting New York's 2011 Marriage Equality Act reads Judaism considers male homosexuality a worse sin than murder I imagine that this is a minority opinion, but does it ...
6
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1answer
456 views

Are cholim obligated to please their wives?

To me it is clear that if (G-d forbid) a person is sick to the point that it will kill them, or that (G-d forbid) they will get their wife sick, there's obviously no obligation to please their wife (...
4
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3answers
729 views

How do I find answers to sensitive questions I can't ask my rabbi?

I have a halachic question of a sexual nature that I feel I can't ask my rabbi. Where can I get such questions answered? Are there rabbis knowledgeable in this area who are willing to answer ...
4
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4answers
3k views

Why don't men go to the mikveh after relations/ejaculation?

Wayikra 15:16-18 טז וְאִישׁ, כִּי-תֵצֵא מִמֶּנּוּ שִׁכְבַת-זָרַע--וְרָחַץ בַּמַּיִם אֶת-כָּל-בְּשָׂרוֹ, וְטָמֵא עַד-הָעָרֶב. 16 יז וְכָל-בֶּגֶד וְכָל-עוֹר, אֲשֶׁר-יִהְיֶה עָלָיו שִׁכְבַת-...
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3answers
2k views

Aside from the days set aside for impurity, what exactly is a man allowed to do with his wife in regards to intimacy?

A man cannot touch, stare, kiss or have relations with a woman he is not married with. On the days when the laws of impurity do not apply, what exactly can a man do with his wife? Assuming extra ...
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2answers
1k views

Resources for teaching chassan classes

I am looking for books that deal primarily with the halachos in Orach Chaim siman 240 and Even HaEzer siman 25. Due to the nature of the content it seems that the world has been reluctant to put out ...
5
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2answers
2k views

Tashmish Ha-Mitah B'yom (Marital Relations by day.)

It says in Shulchan Aruch Siman 240 Sif 11 that it's prohibited to have marital relations by day unless the house is dark ("Bayis Afel".) The Rema adds that a Talmid Chacham that covers himself with ...
18
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4answers
4k views

If masturbation is so bad, why is it not in list of 613 Mitzvos?

If masturbation is, as stated in the Shulchan Oruch (Even HaEzer 23:1), "the worst sin in the Torah", then why is it not listed in any of the various lists of 613 Mitzvos and why is there no verse in ...
6
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1answer
940 views

sperm donation and p'ru ur'vu

Does donating sperm to a woman who is not your wife (who then goes on to bear children from it) fulfill the mitzvah of p'ru ur'vu? Alternatively, is it a violation of halakha? Does it matter whose ...
11
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2answers
554 views

Do the Nine Measures Apply to the Woman?

Nedarim 20b discusses nine mannerisms which a man should avoid whilst being intimate with his wife. The Talmud says that practicing these nine mannerisms can lead to having obstinate, rebellious ...
7
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4answers
1k views

No Blessing on marital relations?

Yebamoth 61b discusses the positive commandment of being fruitful and multiplying. As far as I am aware, one makes no blessing before intercourse. why not? Please cite sources!
7
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4answers
3k views

What is the philosophy or logic for considering masturbation to be sinful?

There are a couple of questions, here and here, on this site mentioning masturbation. Both of them assume that masturbation is a sin and some of the answers cite specific texts backing that up. ...
44
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8answers
4k views

What is the point of having a rapist marry the woman he raped?

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 (JPS) 28  If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, that is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; 29 then the man that lay with ...
10
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4answers
1k views

Which prohibition does one commit when viewing pornography?

Excluding wasting one's seed (hotzas zera l'vatelah) and Bittul Torah (wasting one's time by not learning Torah), which Jewish commandment or law (Biblical or Rabbinic) is one breaking when viewing ...
18
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2answers
2k views

Kissing and Hugging one's wife

What does it say about chibuk and nishuk (kissing and hugging) shelo b'shas tashmish (not during relations) with one's wife in Sifrei Halacha or Hashkafa? Among madrichei chassanim (those that teach ...
2
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1answer
2k views

What technically constitutes adultery

I would like to better understand what exact physical acts constitute adultery between a married woman and a man that is not her husband?
13
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4answers
764 views

Why is giluey arayos one of the big 3?

I get why murder and idol worship are things you have to give your life up for. But why is giluy arayos - sexual sin so fundamental as to require a person to give up one's life? I'm looking for a ...
12
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3answers
469 views

Why was there a distinction made for women captives?

In Numbers 31, God tells the Israelites to wipe out the Midianites (and incidentally, Balaam) by killing every male. But they spared certain women (v17-18): Now therefore kill every male among the ...
8
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3answers
1k views

What's the difference between wasting seed and having marital relations without the possibility of conception?

It is widely known that wasting seed is one of the big sins a person can commit. However, it seems that having relations when conception is not possible--such as during menopause or during pregnancy-...
7
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3answers
342 views

Why did God created physical impulse towards the “wrong” women

When I was young and had struggles with my "yetzer hara" - sexual impulse, I was fascinated by the Jewish attitude towards that impulse. God created this impulse for a purpose. It is meant to push ...
4
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4answers
4k views

Are girls allowed to touch themselves?

I heard the guys aren't allowed to touch themselves because its wasted seed but what about girls. Would that be okay?
17
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3answers
3k views

How can you quit a habit of visiting inappropriate websites?

The Torah teaches that, if you're an unmarried man, watching pornography is harmful to your soul. See, for example, this article by Chabad rabbi Tzvi Freeman. (If you're married and need to watch ...
13
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5answers
840 views

Why does God hate sexual immorality?

After failing to curse the Jewish people, Bilaam advised Balak to lure the Jews into sexual immorality "for their God hates zimah" (Sanhedrin 106a). We also find that many cases of forbidden relations ...
12
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4answers
1k views

Is an asexual person obligated in Pru Urvu?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by the lack of sexual attraction towards people in general. Asexuals may or may not be interested in romantic relationships, but are not physically ...
12
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4answers
5k views

Does the act of masturbation cause a change in one's spiritual/religious status vis-a-vis what he may and may not do?

Obviously masturbation is a very serious sin. However, if someone has already transgressed that sin, does his status change vis-a-vis things like learning Torah or davening? Does he need to go to a ...
9
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1answer
429 views

Why has Judaism traditionally discussed intimacy only privately?

To quote msh210's formulation of this site's rule on intimate topics: Please respect that in the Jewish tradition certain questions, especially certain questions relating to sexuality, are ...
9
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0answers
621 views

To what extent is homosexuality forbidden among non-Jews?

All homosexual behavior is forbidden among Jews, but some actions are clearly Torah prohibitions (e.g. mishkav zachar), while some might be Rabbinic in nature (e.g. lesbian relations). Are all of ...
16
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0answers
23k views

Is oral intercourse permitted according to halacha? [closed]

What has the halacha have to say about a husband and wife sharing oral intercourse (in either direction)?
11
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1answer
2k views

Does casual sex establish a marriage?

Do premarital sexual relations effect Kiddushin (betrothal/first step of Jewish marriage) if there is no intention of getting married? If so, is the physical act itself determinative of whether or ...
10
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2answers
1k views

May a woman look at a man for pleasure?

It's ossur for a man to look at a woman for pleasure. Even to look at her small finger with the intention of having pleasure from it (See EH"E Siman 21 Sif 1.) Is there any prohibition for a woman to ...
7
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4answers
9k views

What are “the tokens of virginity”?

In Deut 22:13-21, there is a mention of a spurned young wife's "tokens of her virginity", that her own father or mother can "take and bring out". What were "the tokens of virginity" that parents of a ...
2
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2answers
917 views

Tikkun for sex with a non jew?

The arizal says that it is a big sin to have sex with a non jew. If someone had sex with one how can he repent for that so he is not reincarnated as a dog?
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2answers
203 views

Why create lust?

Why did G-d create lust (i.e. boys and girls)?
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3answers
1k views

“Gay” people in the Torah, Talmud, Kabbalah?

What do the Torah, Talmud, Kabbalah say about people that "are gay" or have the desire to live that way? I'm not asking if it's a sin. I'm wondering how they "became gay" and how they can change? (I'...
12
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2answers
692 views

Are sex change operations prohibited for non-Jews?

In very specific situations some halachic decisors have permitted sex change operations, such as for infants born with some types of genital anomalies. However, the consensus seems to be that they ...
7
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4answers
279 views

Why does Tanac“h frequently use the term for ”knowledge" when referring to sexual relations?

Frequently, when Tanac"h speaks about a man and woman having sexual relations, it uses the term ידע as in Breishit 4:1 וְהָ֣אָדָ֔ם יָדַ֖ע אֶת־חַוָּ֣ה אִשְׁתּ֑וֹ וַתַּ֙הַר֙ וַתֵּ֣לֶד אֶת־קַ֔יִן ...
6
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1answer
3k views

When is there a heter to use a condom?

When, if ever, is there a heter for a married couple to use a condom as a form of birth control? Question was inspired by this article
5
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0answers
228 views

Should I be giving a get to my girlfriends after a breakup? [duplicate]

I have some knowledge of Jewish law, but it seems ambiguous to me in some areas, either because there are differing opinions, or no one has really explained to me the reasons for the opinions to be ...
3
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2answers
288 views

Did Yitzchak not Fulfill the Mitzvah of “Be Fruitful and Multiply”?

According to the understanding of many commentators "pru u'revu" (be fruitful and multiply) is a positive commandment which is not fulfilled unless a man has both a son and daughter as offspring. ...
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2answers
283 views

Does guarding the eyes apply equally in all cases?

When the imperative to guard your eyes is brought about the first thing I think of is a man that is careful with what he sees with regards to immodest women. However, there are other case when this ...
7
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2answers
925 views

Mikvah and illness

My understanding is that, as a general rule, a healthy woman may not delay going to the Mikvah for her own (or even her husband's) convenience. But I'm wondering if there are sources discussing ...
6
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1answer
95 views

Mekor that bnei t'murah doesn't apply to women- berachot 20a?

I'm trying to recall a source that the issue of bnei t'murah (having thoughts of another while having relations with one's wife) does not apply to women. I saw the related posts but I seem to think I ...
4
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2answers
279 views

Prishus in Jewish Marriage

I know that there is a concept of prishus (going beyond the letter of the law, and abstaining from things that are really allowed) within Jewish marriage, but what exactly does this constitute, and ...