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Questions tagged [sexuality]

NOTE: Please respect that in the Jewish tradition certain questions, especially certain questions relating to sexuality, are discussed only in private. Such questions will be closed or deleted at the discretion of the moderators or community. Also note that, like Wikipedia, this site makes no guarantee of validity, and does not offer professional (particularly rabbinic) advice. Treat information from this site like it came from a crowd of your friends.

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2
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1answer
137 views

Is perpetual virginity or remaining unmarried superior to marriage? [duplicate]

In Judaism, is perpetual virginity or remaining unmarried a higher state of life than marriage?
5
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1answer
243 views

can a very poor Jew have relations with his wife?

i see that relations are forbidden if their is no Kesuba and i understand that a Kesuba is a lien on the property of the husband theoretically, can a husband have relations with his wife if he has ...
0
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1answer
298 views

How come a rape is considered a damage but not a crime in Judaism? [closed]

In our Western (Goyish) culture, rape constitutes a serious criminal offense (up to 15 years inside), that is probably based on a Pshat of Deu 22, 26: וְלַנַּעֲרָה לֹא־תַעֲשֶׂה דָבָר אֵין ...
4
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2answers
229 views

Is a man obligated to seek a medical remedy to fulfill onah?

If a husband is physically incapable or performing onah (the obligation for a husband to sexually satisfy his wife as outlined in Shulchan Aruch Even Ha'Ezer 76)due to an inability to have an erection ...
2
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2answers
2k views

Is masturbation prohibited for those that aren't married?

This article seems to claim that for single men masturbation isn't forbidden. It is a little bit over my head, especially since most of the modern day literature (albeit based largely on the Zohar and ...
1
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2answers
103 views

Does the Torah use the word טָמְאָה to imply physical defilement anywhere besides sotah?

In the parsha of sotah (Bamidbar 5:13) the Torah describes the woman who was secluded and had relations with another man as וְנִסְתְּרָ֖ה וְהִ֣יא נִטְמָ֑אָה meaning that she became physically defiled -...
2
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1answer
497 views

Sudden Menstruation and Sex

I am having trouble finding any treatment of this topic on the internet. A couple who has been having sex suddenly discovers that a blood flow has begun. Are they liable for kareth? Leviticus 15 ...
-1
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1answer
477 views

Heter to be permitted to a Cohen after relations with a non-jew with condoms?

If a woman has relations with a non-Jew with condom use, are they still permissible to a Cohen? Does anybody have a reference to the specific heter which permits this. Edit: I know that relations ...
2
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2answers
197 views

what does the “uncovering of Boaz’ legs” have to do with Keri?

I was shown Shulchan Aruch Harav 619 : וְעַל כָּל פָּנִים יִזָּהֵר שֶׁלֹּא לְכַסּוֹת רַגְלָיו, זֵכֶר לַדָּבָר "וַתְּגַל מַרְגְּלֹתָיו" שֶׁל בֹּעַז, שֶׁלֹּא יָבוֹא לִידֵי חִמּוּם: One should at ...
0
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1answer
168 views

Does this Talmudic quote have any merit? [duplicate]

Sanhedrin 55b:4 אמר רב יוסף תא שמע בת שלש שנים ויום אחד מתקדשת בביאה ואם בא עליה יבם קנאה וחייבין עליה משום אשת איש "A girl who is three years and one day old whose father arranged her betrothal is ...
3
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1answer
262 views

Why were Er and Onan punished?

As discussed here, wasting seed is not forbidden for a non-Jew. Rashi to Bereishis 38:7 and Semak negative commandment 292 explain that Er and Onan died for that very sin. If non-Jews are allowed ...
8
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3answers
1k views

Did Adam have intercourse with animals?

Yebamoth 63a states that Adam had intercourse with animals: א"ר אלעזר מאי דכתיב (בראשית ב, כג) זאת הפעם עצם מעצמי ובשר מבשרי מלמד שבא אדם על כל בהמה וחיה ולא נתקררה דעתו עד שבא על חוה And ...
1
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1answer
229 views

Is adultery permitted if the husband allows it?

Bamidbar Rabbah 9:6: וְאוֹמֵר (תהלים לז, כא): לֹוֶה רָשָׁע וְלֹא יְשַׁלֵּם וגו', יֵשׁ אָדָם לֹוֶה וְאֵינוֹ פּוֹרֵעַ שֶׁאֵין הַדְּנֵיסְטֵיס מְשַׁבֵּר שִׁנָּיו וְגוֹבֶה אוֹתוֹ, מַהוּ: לֹוֶה רָשָׁע ...
0
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2answers
610 views

Visualizing the Rebbe during marital relations

Rabbi Slifkin wrote in a recent post that: ... in some Chabad chosson/kallah classes, they are taught that during climax, they should visualize the Rebbe. Slifkin brings the writings of Rabbi ...
3
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2answers
219 views

What is the perceived effect of circumcision on sexuality?

My understanding so far : Jews circumcise their sons at the age of 8 days in order to mark an alliance between the newborn and God, and this tradition has carried on for thousands of years. It is also ...
1
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0answers
223 views

The Arizal and Shovavim

This week begins the six week period of Shovavim, a time period that the Arizal wrote is an auspicious time to work on oneself, especially in the areas of sexual transgressions. I have two questions: ...
2
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2answers
860 views

When did masturbation become such a severe prohibition?

Before the kaballah of the Arizal began to filter into Jewish thought, was ho'tza'at zerah le'vatala considered as terrible of a sin as we tend to think today? Was it considered a sin at all?
0
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1answer
954 views

Is a man expected to be a virgin on the wedding night? [duplicate]

Just as the ketubah generally refers to a first time bride as a betulah (virgin), is any such language used to refer to a first time chosson? Are any expectations of virginity placed upon the chosson ...
2
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3answers
268 views

Where in the Gemara does it say a woman never forgets her first

Where in the gemara does it say a woman never forgets the first man she was ever with intimately? This is something I have recently heard. Is this referring to all women or just specific cases?
4
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1answer
165 views

Was Onan turning Yibum into Arayot?

There are many commentators that invoke the story of Onan as a source for the prohibition behind onanism, but there seems to be a distinctly different issue going on that is "evil in the eyes of ...
1
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1answer
122 views

In Book Of Genesis Chapter 6 Paragraph 2 is it referring to rape?

Genesis 6:2: בוַיִּרְאוּ בְנֵי הָאֱלֹהִים אֶת בְּנוֹת הָאָדָם כִּי טֹבֹת הֵנָּה וַיִּקְחוּ לָהֶם נָשִׁים מִכֹּל אֲשֶׁר בָּחָרוּ: That the sons of the nobles saw the daughters of man when ...
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0answers
535 views

Masturbating to stop prostate cancer

In Judaism it is forbidden to masturbate (link). This article brings two studies; one suggesting that masturbation can cause prostate cancer and another suggesting that it can help prevent it. In ...
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1answer
77 views

How what lea said is not hutzpo

I know that a wife can not demand relations (maybe only is using speech) and if she does it is bad for the children, from that relationship, so the husband should not do it. See "brazen woman" here ...
3
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2answers
185 views

What one must give up their life for

It is commonly known that there are 3 things that a Jew must give up their life for and not to be ovar (transgress) on these things: Giliah Ariyos (sexual relations that are not permitted), Shivchus ...
5
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2answers
954 views

Is a woman allowed to break her hymen by herself?

Many friends have told me about their personal horror stories and physical pain, when consummating their marriage, that caused them panic attacks. Is it permitted for a woman to break her hymen by ...
1
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0answers
67 views

Was Potiphar, being a captain of an Egyptian guard, likely a eunuch? [duplicate]

In Genesis, we read the infamous story of Joseph and Potiphar's wife. Potiphar's wife (who is named Zuleikha, at least according Sefer HaYashar) repeatedly makes sexual advances on Joseph, and as we ...
6
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1answer
165 views

Pinchas-style act nowadays

Is there any situation whereby a Pinchas-style execution would be justified nowadays? I am particularly interested in whether a 'zealous act' against a public sexually problematic sin is possible in ...
2
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1answer
104 views

What is the motivation behind the obligated number of times different workers are required to fulfill their conjugal rights obligations?

In Hilchot Ishut the Rambam gives different requirements to men to fulfill their conjugal rights obligations (http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/952888/jewish/Ishut-Chapter-Fourteen.htm). ...
0
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3answers
431 views

Who must initiate first in marital relations husband or wife?

Are there biblical/talmudic sources which note whether a husband or wife must initiate in their marital relations? There is a common conception that males must initiate because of their physicality as ...
3
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2answers
181 views

The use of intimate relationship as a mashal for g-dliness in chasidus and kabala

I in a shiur a story was told that it was asked: Why the relations between a man and woman are used as the mashal (since for chastity it is preferred not to use it, if you have the option). And it ...
13
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5answers
847 views

Why does God hate sexual immorality?

After failing to curse the Jewish people, Bilaam advised Balak to lure the Jews into sexual immorality "for their God hates zimah" (Sanhedrin 106a). We also find that many cases of forbidden relations ...
2
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2answers
939 views

Tikkun for sex with a non jew?

The arizal says that it is a big sin to have sex with a non jew. If someone had sex with one how can he repent for that so he is not reincarnated as a dog?
5
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2answers
1k views

Intercourse with your ex-wife after giving the get

A man gave his wife a get. He then soon afterwards engaged in sexual intercourse with her. Would he be required to give another get? Possible reasons are that either the intercourse that took place ...
7
votes
5answers
2k views

Which to choose: relations with a non Jewish woman or wasting seed

If a man had to choose, which should he choose: relations with a non Jewish woman or wasting seed? Someone told me that he was taught that relations with a non Jewish woman should be chosen (that is ...
10
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4answers
1k views

Which prohibition does one commit when viewing pornography?

Excluding wasting one's seed (hotzas zera l'vatelah) and Bittul Torah (wasting one's time by not learning Torah), which Jewish commandment or law (Biblical or Rabbinic) is one breaking when viewing ...
4
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0answers
164 views

What teshuvot address educating children on inappropriate touch? [closed]

A friend of a non-observant family shared a story which inspired this question. Two cousins were playing together. The boy was about 7 years old. The girl was about 3 years old. Early on, the mother ...
4
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4answers
3k views

Why don't men go to the mikveh after relations/ejaculation?

Wayikra 15:16-18 טז וְאִישׁ, כִּי-תֵצֵא מִמֶּנּוּ שִׁכְבַת-זָרַע--וְרָחַץ בַּמַּיִם אֶת-כָּל-בְּשָׂרוֹ, וְטָמֵא עַד-הָעָרֶב. 16 יז וְכָל-בֶּגֶד וְכָל-עוֹר, אֲשֶׁר-יִהְיֶה עָלָיו שִׁכְבַת-...
7
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2answers
606 views

Proper way for a man to urinate while standing

Maran HaShulḥan 'Arukh, citing the Talmud Bavli (Niddah 13B), states that a man must avoid holding his member when urinating (Oraḥ Ḥayim 3:14). That is, holding me'atarah u'lema'alah is forbidden ...
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1answer
217 views

Married man seducing a woman about to convert

An Orthodox man seduces a woman in the process of converting, saying that he is separated from his wife while not yet divorced. He promises marriage to the woman converting and has relations with her. ...
1
vote
2answers
488 views

What is permissible on “anything-but” night (סמוך לוסתה)?

Please see here for the source that on the night of a woman's expected menstruation, anything other than "relations" proper is permitted. What acts are included under this permission? Put another way,...
2
votes
1answer
613 views

What is the source and nature of the prohibition on premarital sex? [duplicate]

What is the source of the prohibition on premarital sex? Is it a Biblical prohibition? If not, what is the source and how is it derived? What is the nature of the prohibition? Is it an avera? Is it ...
7
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3answers
347 views

Why did God created physical impulse towards the “wrong” women

When I was young and had struggles with my "yetzer hara" - sexual impulse, I was fascinated by the Jewish attitude towards that impulse. God created this impulse for a purpose. It is meant to push ...
1
vote
3answers
1k views

“Gay” people in the Torah, Talmud, Kabbalah?

What do the Torah, Talmud, Kabbalah say about people that "are gay" or have the desire to live that way? I'm not asking if it's a sin. I'm wondering how they "became gay" and how they can change? (I'...
7
votes
3answers
925 views

Is causing oneself to have an erection forbidden or just not recommended?

In the Mishneh Torah Hilchos Issurei Biah 21:19 it says: It is forbidden for a person to intentionally cause himself to have an erection or to bring himself to [sexual] thoughts. Yet in Niddah ...
2
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1answer
2k views

What technically constitutes adultery

I would like to better understand what exact physical acts constitute adultery between a married woman and a man that is not her husband?
2
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3answers
365 views

Is tearing the hymen something that should be avoided

I have always heard that tearing the hymen by beilas mitzva (first intercourse with a virgin after marriage) is a good thing and it should not be avoided (maybe to tear it is the mitzvah as it seems ...
3
votes
1answer
151 views

How do we know when the word ידע means intercourse or just (brain) knowledge?

I shall cite 3 verses. What I state below in terms of "plain" knowledge vs. intercourse is confirmed by Rash"i and / or other commentaries on each verse: 1 - Genesis 4:1 (excerpt): וְהָ֣אָדָ֔ם ...
3
votes
2answers
280 views

Praying in this condition

Some times, like just after waking-up, men have an erection. But what if one just woke up and wants to say the Mode Ani, must he wait for it to pass or can he say it as is? Would it be disrespectful ...
3
votes
1answer
387 views

Remedy for Desire for a Married Woman

Background: We are all human and sometimes tend towards the evil inclination. At times we successfully fight against the inappropriate feelings, thoughts, actions, etc. At other times we don't do so ...
5
votes
3answers
419 views

Should lust for one's wife be curbed?

According to Judaism illicit relations are forbidden. I always thought that the way one can control his lustful desires is by marrying. In the Garden of Peace, Rabbi Shalom Arush says that a man ...