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Questions tagged [purim-torah-in-jest]

THIS QUESTION IS ONLY IN JEST. "Purim Torah" is humorous and satirical writings customarily read on the Jewish holiday of Purim. Mi Yodeya has a great collection of Purim Torah, under this tag. For our collection of *real* Q&A about Judaism, see our home page: judaism.stackexchange.com.

4
votes
1answer
217 views

Stirah: is snow good or bad in Judaism? [closed]

On the one hand, we pray that our sins should become white like snow (kashelek yalbinu). On the other hand, we repeatedly find snow representing negative feelings: "Vayosifu Od SNOW oso" and "Eis le'...
15
votes
3answers
480 views

How big did Mordechai get, and was it only in the king's palace? [closed]

According to the Megillah (9:4), Mordechai grew to a very large size whenever he was in the king's palace (כִּי־גָדוֹל מָרְדֳּכַי בְּבֵית הַמֶּלֶךְ ... כִּי־הָאִישׁ מָרְדֳּכַי, הוֹלֵךְ וְגָדוֹל). How ...
4
votes
3answers
243 views

Why did Lavan say “Ashre”? [closed]

In parashas "Vayetze", 31:25, we have the following in Onkelos: וְאַדְבֵּיק לָבָן יָת יַעֲקֹב וְיַעֲקֹב פְּרַס יָת מַשְׁכְּנֵהּ בְּטוּרָא וְלָבָן אַשְׁרֵי יָת אֲחוֹהִי בְּטוּרָא דְּגִלְעָד.‏ ...
5
votes
2answers
180 views

Why does the verse in Mishpatim say Vashti ruled over fewer countries than mentioned in Ester? [closed]

As we come to the close of Shabbas Mishpatim, I will ask a question that I am sure has troubled many. The verse (23:31) tells us: ושתי את גבולך מים סוף ועד ים פלשתים וממדבר עד הנהר Vashti: ...
7
votes
3answers
257 views

The media in Shushan [closed]

Esther 10:2 says: הֲלוֹא-הֵם כְּתוּבִים, עַל-סֵפֶר דִּבְרֵי הַיָּמִים, לְמַלְכֵי מָדַי Behold, they are written in the book of chronicles of the kings of the media. Who were the kings (=editors) ...
4
votes
1answer
141 views

Multiplying negatives = 2 Bediavads [closed]

If multiplying two negatives equals a positve then shouldn't two Bedieveds equal a Lechatehila? E.G. I heard from a HaRav Mansour Shelit"a that if one washes one's self with Tisha Kabin, then it ...
8
votes
5answers
305 views

What's an “achashvei”? [closed]

From my preschooler: What's an Achashvei? I know that a rosh is a head. I want to know what kind of head Achashveirosh was. Can you help me come up with a satisfying answer? I'd prefer not to ...
4
votes
1answer
244 views

Im l'eit kazot higa'at lamalchut - mi yodeya? [closed]

Who knows if you come to royalty for a time like this? ?אם לעת כזאת, הגעת למלכות - מי יודע In the spirit of the song "Shoshanat Ya'akov", please post interesting Jewish facts about the significance ...
12
votes
1answer
256 views

Why didn't Mordechai keep Mitzvos? [closed]

It says in the Megilla "ויאמרו עבדי המלך אשר בשער המלך למרדכי מדוע אתה עובר את מצות המלך" - "The servants of the King (who were in the King's gates) asked Mordechai 'Why do you go against the command ...
3
votes
2answers
397 views

What was the biggest miracle in the time of the Megilla? [closed]

There were many miracles in the time of the Megilla. What was the biggest one? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.
11
votes
3answers
474 views

No Offense Loophole [closed]

(Inspired by this question) Who came up with the No Offense loophole of: No offense, but your sweater makes you look fat. OR No offense, but if you really think what you just said is true, you'...
2
votes
2answers
199 views

Daylight Saving Time - forward or backward? [closed]

Halachically speaking, do I have to set my clocks forward one hour in the spring, or can I set them back one hour (this will give me two hours more in my day than everyone setting their clocks forward ...
8
votes
4answers
372 views

Is Daylight Saving Time a Mitzvah DeOraitha or Takkanah DeRabanan? [closed]

This week many in the U.S. will change their clocks for Daylight Saving Time. Is this a Mitzvah DeOraitha or Takkanah DeRabanan? I can't seem to find any source for this except a poorly worded and ...
5
votes
6answers
525 views

Can I Have a Chumra Please? [closed]

I'm looking to take on a really, really, really enourmous chumra which will greatly affect my life to show how dedicated I am to Hashem. Does anyone have any suggestions? This question is Purim Torah ...
3
votes
2answers
244 views

How frequently does G-d destroy? [closed]

At the beginning of the weekday Maariv prayer service, we say a verse from Psalms 78:38. The Artscroll translation reads: "He the Merciful One is forgiving of iniquity and does not destroy ...
22
votes
4answers
2k views

What's up with this strange new hechsher? [closed]

All of a sudden, I’ve seen the hechsher shown in these photos popping up on various products. I’ve never seen it before, and I don’t see it listed on any of the usual online hechsher lists. Have ...
9
votes
2answers
300 views

Zachor from a non-kosher Sefer torah [closed]

We know that one is not yotzeh if he hears Zachor read from a non-kosher Sefer Torah. What is the process of kashering the Sefer Torah so it will be usable? Must one do hag'alah? Does hag'alah work, ...
44
votes
13answers
2k views

PTIJ: Haman was Basar b’Chalav, so how could we eat him? [closed]

Esther 3:5 says, “וימלא המן חמה” Haman was filled with butter. This would presumably make his flesh basar b’chalav, but Shemos 16:35 clearly says “ובני ישראל אכלו את־המן” the Children of Israel ate ...
7
votes
2answers
212 views

How much is keifel for Gneivas Daas? [closed]

When one steals knowledge (Gneivas Daas) and gets caught by witnesses, how does he pay back double? PS. Why is there no Gzeilas Daas? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken ...
46
votes
5answers
5k views

Rejecting others' friend requests on Facebook [closed]

Inspired by this question: If one receives a friend request on Facebook, especially from another Jew, is it permissible to reject them? On the one hand, "חברים כל ישראל" - "All Jews are friends"; ...
17
votes
4answers
719 views

Am I yotzei bikur cholim by visiting someone's Facebook page? [closed]

Since people increasingly live their lives online can I be yotzei the mitzvah of bikur cholim by visting the choleh's Facebook page? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken ...
8
votes
3answers
202 views

Trapping during the week [closed]

The medrosh criticizes Eisov for trapping his father with questions such as "must one tithe salt," yet doesn't specify that it was shobbos, so there should be no melucha of "tzud"! Is this proof that ...
8
votes
3answers
736 views

Why does a Hamentash have three sides? [closed]

All Hamentashen that I've seen have three sides and all Hamentashen have filling. Why is that? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah ...
10
votes
7answers
635 views

Eating Hamentashen on Purim [closed]

I've been wondering: how much hamentashen must one consume on purim? Is this independent of type or amount of filling? If not, what kinds of hamentashen qualify? This question is Purim Torah and is ...
2
votes
2answers
332 views

Eating before leaning on Esther [closed]

Did Haman eat at the party before Ahashveirosh caught him "leaning" on Esther? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.
7
votes
7answers
669 views

Is wearing masks on Purim a Biblical Commandment or a Rabbinic Commandment? [closed]

As we all know, wearing masks on Purim is a Mitzva. Is it from the Torah, or was it only originated in the times of Esther, making it Rabbinic? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be ...
19
votes
4answers
878 views

heresy on Purim [closed]

On Purim we're supposed to engage in מִשְׁלוֹחַ מִנוּת, the sending of heresy to our fellow Jews. What are some pieces of heretical literature that are appropriate for sending on Purim? Or ones you'd ...
5
votes
6answers
525 views

the danger of eating matza [closed]

We should not be allowed to eat מצה on פסח! After all, it's made with מים שלנו ("our water"; that is, water that's been sitting out for hours and hours), and חז״ל say there's a risk of poisoning, ר״ל, ...
3
votes
1answer
249 views

kalus rosh in a bes midrash [closed]

A happy Adar to all! The משנה in אבות says "הֱוֵי קַל לָרֹאשׁ", on which the רע״ב writes:לפני אדם גדול זקן ויושב בראש בישיבה, הוי קל לעבוד עבודתו ולשמש לפניו Thus we see that one should exercise ...