Questions tagged [mourning-aveilus]
A halachic period of mourning after the passing of a close relative. There are many laws and customs relating to this period and those observing it.
266
questions
13
votes
1
answer
1k
views
When and why did we stop wearing sackcloth?
When and why did we stop wearing sackcloth in times of mourning and other times of distress (e.g., when fasting for rain)? (I presume sackcloth was quite uncomfortable.) Sackcloth is mentioned in ...
- 7,794
9
votes
1
answer
184
views
What exactly is the purpose of Tisha B'av?
So recently I was answering a question about why we don't say selichos on Tisha B'av,and I answered basicaly saying that the purpose on Tisha B'av isn't to ask for forgiveness, rather it is for ...
- 462
2
votes
1
answer
324
views
On Tish'a B'Av,can someone say the typical "Mourner's statement" to any/everyone else?
Upon leaving a mourner (when one visits him / her during shiva), one says:
המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבילי ציון וירושלים
"May G-d comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem"
Since during ...
- 69.6k
13
votes
3
answers
276
views
Studying Holocaust Responsa on Tish'ah BeAv
One of the restrictions practiced on Tish'ah BeAv is the study of Torah, because Torah study "gladdens the heart".
Several exceptions have been formally codified, which are of a nature germane to the ...
- 41.3k
1
vote
2
answers
902
views
Why would someone recite Kaddish D'Rabbanan but not Kaddish Yatom?
Generally, in my experience, the same people recite kaddish d'rabbanan and kaddish yatom in davening. [Kaddish yatom is said after reciting psukim, such as a perek of Tehillim, while kaddish d'...
- 22.9k
2
votes
0
answers
59
views
Can one eat meat on erev shabbos in the 9 days for the mitzvah of טאמאה? [duplicate]
I remember learning once that it is a mitzvah to taste at least one food on erev shabbos that will be served on shabbos. I believe it is called טאמאה.
So today is erev shabbos Rosh Chodesh during the ...
- 462
3
votes
3
answers
452
views
Prohibition to Wear Freshly Laundered Clothes in the 9 days
Normally is customary to avoid wearing freshly laundered clothes during the 9 days. Does this apply these days when freshly laundered clothes are no longer exciting and new? Perhaps the parallel today ...
- 35.3k
0
votes
1
answer
264
views
Aninut on Shabbat
I was searching the net earlier today and discovered this article, which states that R' Wosner's son, R' Meir, learned of his father's death after davening Maariv on the first night of Pesach. He ...
- 12.8k
5
votes
1
answer
2k
views
Is a Jew allowed to visit a Christian cemetery?
If a Jew wishes to visit a grave at a Christian cemetery (say the grave of a patrilineal grandparent), is it permissible? Does it matter if it is a mostly unadorned cemetery vs. one with pictures of ...
- 5,165
2
votes
1
answer
282
views
What is Ruaḥ HaShem?
When recalling someone who has passed (in a shi'ur or Devar Torah), I have heard many say "Ruaḥ HaShem teniḥenu/ah beGan 'Eden" (רוח ה' תניחנו/ה בגן עדן).
1) What is "Ruaḥ HaShem" (literally, the ...
- 7,393
1
vote
0
answers
102
views
Is aninus more lenient than Aveilus?
I was under the impression that the further time passes from death the weaker the Aveilus. For example, Shiva is stronger than Sheloshim is stronger than 11 months.
Yet, according to the Gemara in ...
- 40.1k
1
vote
0
answers
82
views
Laws of Mourning - Cutting Hair (w.r.t. Rav Ovadia z"l)
I was interested to know what practice the sons of Rav Ovadia z"l had followed in regard to cutting their hair after the passing of their father?
I.e., for how many months did they leave their hair ...
- 511
5
votes
2
answers
117
views
Why do Sefaradim skip "Uva LeTziyon" in the house of a mourner?
This morning I prayed with a Sefaradi minyan in which were a few mourners. After Hazarat HaSha"Tz, they skipped Tahhanun and Uva LeTziyon.
I can imagine a justification for skipping Tahhanun; but, ...
- 7,393
4
votes
1
answer
244
views
Can a mourner/avel learn Torah on Shabbat?
If I'm not mistaken a mourner in the 1st 7 days, during the Shiva cannot study Torah (except for mourning-related Torah study) as it brings joy to a person.
Firstly is this Halacha or a Minhag?
...
- 2,960
6
votes
1
answer
103
views
k'riah at the funeral of an adoptive parent
Should an adoptee of Jewish parentage do k'riah at the funeral of an adoptive parent, and, if so, should it be done on the left side of the garment or the right?
- 61
7
votes
0
answers
149
views
Is the mourning for a late relative dependent on the state of their relationship before death?
Are the halochos (laws) about observing mourning rituals for a relative (e.g., shiva, shloshim, etc.), affected in any way by the state of the relationship between the mourner and deceased before his ...
- 71
2
votes
1
answer
938
views
Is it permissible to shave for business purposes after Shiva but during shloshim?
Is one allowed to shave after shiva (7 days of mourning for deceased) if one is concerned about seeing clients at work? Most authorities say that one should wait 30 days before shaving.
11
votes
5
answers
443
views
Learning laws of aveilut when your parents are alive?
Is it appropriate to learn the laws of aveilut when both your parents are alive? Or is there a superstition that it could be dangerous to them?
- 10.7k
4
votes
2
answers
261
views
Custom for a mourner to be chosen to read the haftora every week
The Chabad rabbi near me has the custom of taking (for himself) both the kaddish recitation after the Torah reading (when applicable) and the reading of the haftorah on Shabbat — specifically ...
- 1,874
9
votes
2
answers
409
views
Do mourners change their seats in shul today?
The g'mara on Moed Katan 23a says that after shiva, when the mourner stays at home, he can return to shul but does not sit in his usual seat. (According to this g'mara, he returns to his usual seat a ...
- 56.2k
0
votes
0
answers
40
views
Source that Aveilim circle the block when the Shiva ends [duplicate]
What is the source the an Aveil circles the block on the seventh day, once the Shiva is up?
- 138k
6
votes
1
answer
384
views
Can a Chazzan say the Mourner's Kaddish despite not being a mourner?
If someone needs to say Kaddish for a parent but is intimidated to be the only one in shul saying it, is it permissible for the Chazzan to say the Mourner's Kaddish and the Rabbi's Kaddish at the same ...
2
votes
0
answers
40
views
Eicha 2:5 Targum - seemingly out of order
Eicha 2:5 Targum translates תאניה ואניה as אבילותא ואנינותא. Does not Aninus come before Aveilus? How can this targum be explained?
- 138k
3
votes
1
answer
371
views
Using laundered underwear, bed sheets and towels during the nine days
If underwear, bed sheets, or towels were laundered during the 9 days, is it permissible to benefit from (wear or use) them during the 9 days?
- 13k
5
votes
3
answers
744
views
Prohibition to wear black for mourning?
I've heard a rumor floating around to the effect that Jews should not wear all black as an expression of mourning. Is there anything to that? If so, is there anything inherently wrong with it, is it a ...
- 47.4k
3
votes
3
answers
2k
views
Keria at the Wailing Wall
I believe the Halacha is that you're supposed to tear your clothes when seeing the Wailing Wall, just as one does when 'sitting Shiva'. Why don't most people?
- 1,464
1
vote
1
answer
268
views
What types of hair - and whose hair - are included in mourning-related hair-cutting prohibitions?
When there are hair-cutting prohibitions (or restrictions) for mourning-related practices, what types of hair are included? Is it just hair on the top of one's head and/or facial hair? Do the ...
- 41.3k
4
votes
1
answer
225
views
Aveilus and Davening from the Omud on Rosh Hashana / Yom Kippur?
Can a Ba'al tefillah in his year of aveilus daven from the Omud on Rosh Hashana / Yom Kippur?
- 41
6
votes
0
answers
599
views
What's considered shaving?
During periods of mourning, such as Sefirat Haomer and the three weeks prior to Tisha B'av, shaving is prohibited.
What is considered shaving and what is allowed?
May you pluck out a few hairs here ...
- 13k
1
vote
1
answer
404
views
Restrictions of sefirah during Nisan?
It seems that, since mourning is prohibited during the month of Nisan, one could not observe the restrictions of sefirah until the end of Rosh Chodesh Iyar, since one is also not permitted to mourn on ...
- 886
4
votes
1
answer
192
views
Should an adoptee mourn his Jewish biological parents?
I was adopted at birth from a Jewish biological mother into a Jewish adoptive family. Should I observe mourning for my birth mother when she dies, and otherwise honor her as a parent? Thank you.
- 41
4
votes
2
answers
138
views
Why were Yisrael allowed to mourn for the death of the two sons of Aharon, but not Aharon and his two remaining sons?
After the two sons of Aharon were killed by Hashem, it says in Vayikra 10:6 “ And Moses said to Aaron and to Eleazar and to Ithamar, his sons: Do not leave your heads unshorn and do not rend your ...
user4523
1
vote
1
answer
207
views
Ripping garments when hearing Hashem's name?
I've heard in a kabbalah shiur on web yeshiva, if someone says Hashem's name as it's written, either b'shogeg or b'meizid, the person or people that heard must rip their garments as they do when a ...
- 11
11
votes
1
answer
3k
views
Saying "HaMakom yenachem..." multiple times
Does one say "HaMakom yenachem..." each time one visits/leaves a shiva house or only once during the shiva period? I recall someone telling me one only says it once, but I cannot find any source for ...
- 181
4
votes
0
answers
139
views
When and why would one don sackcloth?
There are various instances in tanach of someone donning sackcloth. I would like to know whether any commentators have compiled an outline as to when and why someone would don sackcloth (is it only ...
5
votes
2
answers
428
views
Where can I find the Rav's hesped for R Chaim Ozer Grodzinsky?
I am looking for the text (in Hebrew) of R' JB Soloveitchik's hesped for R' Chaim Ozer Grozhinsky, unofficially titled "HaTzitz vehaChoshen" which was written before RJBS broke away from Agudah.
- 9,489
5
votes
0
answers
245
views
What constitutes a "Hesped" (eulogy)?
There are certain dates throughout the year when one may not give a "Hesped" (eulogy) because of a certain level of happiness associated with those dates.
However, I've attended funerals conducted on ...
- 41.3k
6
votes
3
answers
7k
views
When exactly should an avel (mourner) not be davening before the amud?
An avel (mourner) if possible should also daven before the amud (be the chazan) on weekdays. But certain times of the year especially when tachanun is not said (but not every time) he should not be ...
- 365
3
votes
0
answers
145
views
Does מין mean Christian, and if so what are the implications?
From what I have read there seems to be ample evidence that the term מין, as used in several places in the talmud, refers to Christians. I would like to know if there are any authorities who cite this ...
- 3,785
13
votes
2
answers
696
views
Why do we not say selichot on Tisha B'Av?
Every fast day on the Jewish calendar has its set of selichot that are said. The one exception to this is Tisha B'Av. This seems counter-intuitive to me because Tisha B'Av is the day when we mourn the ...
- 24.5k
2
votes
1
answer
116
views
Wait to be told one's unkempt after 9 Av?
I have heard (from people for whom it's been relevant) that someone who may not shave or cut his hair because he is in mourning for a relative, and whose period of mourning ends, nonetheless waits to ...
- 73.6k
4
votes
2
answers
392
views
Saying goodbye on Tisha B'Av
On Tisha B'Av, the custom is to refrain from greeting people. Even a brief "hello" is to be avoided if possible. Does the same restriction apply to saying "good-bye"? Or is that not considered a ...
- 24.5k
4
votes
1
answer
624
views
Sitting on a toilet during Tisha B'Av
May one sit on a toilet during Tisha B'Av, when sitting on chairs is generally forbidden? Are there any requirements that he hurry up as much as possible?
- 24.5k
1
vote
0
answers
140
views
"I was waiting for my flight and a concert broke out."
We've all heard that joke, right?
In all seriousness, though, a friend posted this video of an impromptu concert at Toronto Pearson International Airport yesterday as all flights were either delayed ...
- 41.3k
3
votes
2
answers
4k
views
Movies and music during the 3 weeks according to Rav Soloveitchik
The Rav compares the 3 weeks to the twelve months of mourning, and following that comparison he permits shaving during the 3 weeks (but not the 9 days) but forbids large social gatherings.
What does ...
- 2,648
2
votes
0
answers
116
views
Is it always a good idea to say an extra Shema' if you missed one?
According to Double AA's answer on a related question, "it can't hurt" to say an extra Shema' later if you missed the Zeman (set time) for it.
While it may be true to a certain extent that saying ...
- 41.3k
0
votes
1
answer
96
views
Talmid that is an Avel going to a wedding of his Rebbe
I had heard once that there is a Teshuvas Ranach that says it's muter for a student that is an avel (in the year of mourning) to go to a wedding that his Rebbe is making for one his children. I haven'...
- 15.8k
2
votes
1
answer
226
views
Does one mourn during the days following Shavuot?
We say the four verses starting "Yehi Shem" (instead of Tachanun) after Shavuot because of the bringing of the Korbanot. Does this have any impact on mourning after Shavuot?
- 317
4
votes
2
answers
308
views
Reasoning for doing/not doing mourning customs in second half of the omer
In my observation, most people observe certain mourning customs between the beginning of sefirat ha'omer and lag b'omer (such as refraining from shaving, listening to live music, etc.). Some people ...
- 24.5k
6
votes
0
answers
108
views
Protocol/requirements for repeat visits to a Shiv'ah house
What are the Protocol/requirements for repeat visits to a Shiv'ah house?
Are there any formalities that can be set aside (letting them speak first, sitting with them, as opposed to chatting by the ...
- 41.3k