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Questions tagged [mourning-aveilus]

A halachic period of mourning after the passing of a close relative. There are many laws and customs relating to this period and those observing it.

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Wearing a new watch in the nine days

What do the sources have to say about wearing a new watch in the nine days? Is it considered like significant new clothes and therefore not permitted does this minhag not apply to a time-piece or ...
user15333's user avatar
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Why has it become common to say a drasha in a mourner's home?

If I understand the top of Mo'ed Kattan 23a correctly, it says that one should not say aggadah in a mourner's home. (The phrasing immediately after says that they did this after Rav Chananiah ben ...
DanF's user avatar
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Can an Avel read from the Torah?

While someone is sitting shiva, are they allowed to be a ba'al koreh and read from the Torah, or is that considered simcha?
Ploni Almoni's user avatar
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1 answer
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For how long is Kaddish recited following the passing of a parent (for Sephardim/Mizrahim)?

According to AskMoses, The prevalent Sephardic custom, based on the teachings of the holy Arizal, is to recite the kaddish for 12 months minus one week. Just wondering where this is brought down? Can'...
Lior's user avatar
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2 votes
1 answer
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Extended Kaddish for a Non-Shomer Shabbos Jew

This website says that if one is saying Kaddish for someone who was not shomer Shabbos, one should continue to say Kaddish for 12 months instead of 11. What is the source for this practice?
Ze'ev's user avatar
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2 votes
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'Aninut when the body can't be released

If someone dies and their body cannot be released for burial for an extended length of time, how are aninut* and aveilut approached? This question might have some similarities to whether there is ...
Noach MiFrankfurt's user avatar
5 votes
1 answer
1k views

Listening to music during year of aveilut

Is one allowed to listen to music during aveilut after the shloshim for therapeutic porpuses? Is there any difference between the way ashkenazim and sephardim hold?
mmc99's user avatar
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why do we mourn the 24k students of Rabbi Akivah?

until lag b'omer we mourn the 24k students of Rabbi Akiva who were wiped out in a plague (Yevamot 62b). Why do we mourn this and not many other tragic events in our history (ex.pinchas affair, korach, ...
ray's user avatar
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Place of "laws of mourning" in the rambam

Maimonides' Book of Judges contains the following sections: laws of the Sanhedrin and the punishments they enforce, laws of witnesses, laws of rebels, laws of mourning, and laws of kings and their ...
David Michael Gang's user avatar
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2 answers
302 views

listening to a cappela during sefira?

A friend of mine told me that there is a problem with listening to a cappela during sefira. A few people mentioned a few places where it talks about it but I don't remember the places. What is the ...
mmc99's user avatar
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Is one allowed to listen to music for therapeutic purposes during sefira and the three weeks?

It has been scientifically proven that listening to music helps increase people's dopamine (happiness neurotransmitters) levels by as much as 9%, and as such there is such a thing as music therapy. ...
DonielF's user avatar
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How are albums such as AKAPella considered a capella?

AKAPella is an a cappella group that performs parodies on other artists' songs, often non-Jewish ones as of late, in a cappella for people to enjoy during sefira and the three weeks. In their albums,...
DonielF's user avatar
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1 answer
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are you allowed get music lessons during sefirah?

are you allowed to start getting music lessons which he has not had beforehand during sefirah?
Levi's user avatar
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0 answers
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Parent/child relationship : how does adoption compare to geirus?

Take a father and daughter who both underwent geirus. Now take a Jewish man who adopted a baby girl of unknown (Jewish) parents. In both situations, the father raises the child since birth. Are the ...
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Covering pictures in the house of a mourner

There is a minhag I have heard of where in addition to covering all of the mirrors in the mourner's house they would also cover all pictures of the deceased. I have long tried to find a source for ...
DonielF's user avatar
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no shiva after finding out after sheloshim?

I interpret the shiva as also being a time for the mourner to psychologically process the loss of the deceased. If a mourner only learns about the deceased's passing more than 30 days after the death,...
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Did Jacob's sons do aveilut before Jacob was buried?

In viewing Breishit 50:10 it says that the group came to Goren Ha'atad and they made a seven-day mourning period for their father there. Only afterwards, does it state that they buried Jacob in the ...
DanF's user avatar
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9 votes
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Covering the mirrors in the house of a mourner

When learning the laws of mourning in the Gemara and rishonim I don't recall the requirement to cover up the mirrors in the house of a mourner. But it does seem like a quite prevelalant practice. ...
Mark A.'s user avatar
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For how long was it customary to wear widow's garb and did Tomor follow the custom?

Tomor became a widow while Sheloh was still young Beraishis 38 (11) . Many days passed 38 (12). Tomor took off her widow's garb 38 (14) at the time that Sheloh had grown up and later put it on again ...
Avrohom Yitzchok's user avatar
6 votes
1 answer
553 views

Priority for multiple "chiyuvim" to be Shaliach Tzibbur

What is the priority for the following situations regarding who is Shaliach Tzibbur during a weekday (I'm excluding the possibility of various customs that exclude such people from leading services on ...
DanF's user avatar
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2 votes
1 answer
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Changes in Hilchos Aveilus due to the reaction of gentiles

I just read an article by Rabbi Yair Hoffman regarding images of woman. In the article he mentions that we have in the past changed our Minhagim in Hilchos Aveilus in concern of reaction of gentiles. ...
Gershon Gold's user avatar
3 votes
2 answers
369 views

Why does Yom Tov end, rather than suspend, sh'loshim?

If Yom Tov falls during the 30-day period of mourning (sh'loshim), the sh'loshim is terminated. This morning when the minyan got to the mourners' kaddish I noticed the pained expression on the face ...
Monica Cellio's user avatar
1 vote
0 answers
96 views

Is shiva suspended during weekday davening?

This is a hypothetical designed to investigate a subtlety of practice and understanding, not elicit a halachic ruling. I will be attending a morning shiva minyan on Monday. The mourner is a kohen and ...
rosends's user avatar
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5 votes
1 answer
912 views

What does one say to an Onen?

After a death but before the burial, some relatives have the status of Onen. While there is a sentence we say to a mourner afterwards, Hamakom, is there any specific thing one should say to someone ...
rosends's user avatar
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1 vote
2 answers
502 views

Can one buy or rent a vacation home during the 12 months of mourning?

This source says: During the twelve months (of mourning for a parent), it is forbidden to: purchase or rent a home, unless a significant loss would otherwise be incurred Does "home" mean a ...
DanF's user avatar
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1 vote
1 answer
164 views

Was it customary for there to be an annual lamentation for someone's death, e.g. the daughter of Jephthah? Details as to her mourning process?

In Judges 11, the overzealous (or prideful) short-reigned judge of Israel, Jephthah, makes the rash vow to G-d that if he is victorious against the Ammorites and safely returns home, then he will ...
Butterfly and Bones's user avatar
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0 answers
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Why does the shiva expression begn with term המקום? [duplicate]

Prior to leaving the shiva house, visitors say to the mourners: המקום ינחם אתכם... Meaning (literally) "The place should comfort you..." WHat is the meaning of referring to God as "the place" ...
DanF's user avatar
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0 votes
1 answer
701 views

Is one allowed to change the torn shirt during shiva?

When I have visited someone during the shiva week, I notice that they wear a torn shirt. I know that the shirt is usually torn at the funeral home or cemetery prior to burial. I assume that the ...
DanF's user avatar
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2 votes
1 answer
342 views

The historical significance of Rosh Chodesh Av

According to the mishna in Ta'anit (26a-b), 5 things happened on the 17th of Tammuz and 5 on Tish'a B'av. The last was that Jerusalem was plowed under: "ונחרשה העיר משנכנס אב ממעטין בשמחה " The ...
rosends's user avatar
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2 votes
1 answer
300 views

Throwing dust on head = common mourning ritual?

In Job 2:12, when Job's friends first see Job at a distance, they "did not recognize him, and they raised their voices, and wept aloud; they tore their robes and threw dust in the air upon their heads....
Butterfly and Bones's user avatar
3 votes
2 answers
496 views

Harchakot while grieving, ch"v

If, G-d forbid, a wife learned of a terrible tragedy while a niddah, is there any possibility that her husband could hug her? To be clear, I am asking for respected sources that look at this matter ...
SAH's user avatar
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2 votes
3 answers
19k views

What to say to someone on a yahrzeit

Is there a standard expression used to greet or comfort those who are celebrating an anniversary of mourning? (...and why is it said?) Even if not, what should one say? (...and why?) We should merit ...
SAH's user avatar
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4 votes
1 answer
988 views

Eating in restaurants during Aveilus

Recently a friend told me that it is not proper to eat out in restaurants when one is an Aveil. I have been searching for a source that prohibits this. Does anyone know of a source prohibiting eating ...
C. Ben Yosef's user avatar
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2 votes
0 answers
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Minhagim of Sefirah

Most people keep only part of Sefirah (the seven-week period joining Pesach and Shavuos) as a period of semimourning: either (roughly) the first 33 days or (roughly) the last 33 days. There are ...
user12670's user avatar
2 votes
2 answers
104 views

If visiting the kosel before a joyous event, does one tear kriyah?

If visiting the kosel the morning of, say, one's wedding, should one tear kriyah? I am asking whether we should be in mourning for the temple even at a very joyous time. (My guess is yes, partly based ...
SAH's user avatar
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2 votes
1 answer
371 views

Should one refrain from fun activities during sefirah?

During sefirah there is a custom to mourn the dying of R Akiva's disciples. Is the mourning restricted to the well known restrictions of not shaving and listening to music - or should one refrain ...
Ani Yodea's user avatar
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5 votes
2 answers
308 views

Source for "Hamakom" said at shiva and variations

What is the source for the text of hamakom? In Israel I noticed that they add some words that I never heard in the States (something like"vlo yosifo lidavek?od") , what is the source for them and why ...
SE is Evil - Support Monica's user avatar
5 votes
1 answer
1k views

"Hamakom" after shiv'a

In my experience, for the most part, "‏המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים" is said to a mourner specifically during shiv'a. However, I've heard some people say it after shiv'a, particularly ...
msh210's user avatar
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3 votes
2 answers
344 views

Brit milah during shloshim

I understand that someone observing shloshim should not attend a seudat mitzvah. I was wondering what happens if someone observing shloshim has a baby boy who is due for a bris. Does the parent ...
Daniel's user avatar
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7 votes
2 answers
2k views

Proper day and time for a Shloshim Seuda

Per Chabad.org: "Traditionally, families gather on the eve of the Shloshim to share support, recite prayers and Psalms, and to give charity in the merit of the deceased. Many will also make a Siyum, ...
dan's user avatar
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0 votes
2 answers
534 views

"Chiyuv" to be chazan vs. congregational approval and refusal

Follow-up to this M.Y. answer about a "chiyuv" to daven from the amud. The answer states that a mourner for a parent should try to be shaliach tzibbur. I question whether this rule contradicts some ...
DanF's user avatar
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13 votes
2 answers
3k views

What does it mean for a mourner to "have a chiuv"?

I have noticed that in many synagogues, before davening, the gabbai customarily asks if anybody "has a chiuv". If there is anybody with a chiuv, he is asked to daven from the amud. The people who ...
Daniel's user avatar
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1 vote
1 answer
637 views

Mourner that misses Kaddish

A mourner who is having an operation, or travelling, or any other reason that makes it impossible for him to say Kaddish at a particular Tefila. Is there anything the mourner should do to make up for ...
Gershon Gold's user avatar
6 votes
2 answers
368 views

Does a mourner tear one garment, or every garment he wears for a period of time?

I belong to a liberal community and what I have seen, when somebody is in mourning for a parent, is that they wear a "kriah ribbon" instead of tearing an actual garment, and they wear it at least ...
Monica Cellio's user avatar
2 votes
2 answers
475 views

Aveil participating in a Simcha

May an Aveil attend a wedding of a sibling or neighbor? May he eat there? How about a Sheva Brachos? Bar Mitzva? Bris? Is there a difference in the Sheloshim and the remainder of the year?
Gershon Gold's user avatar
5 votes
2 answers
708 views

Is Selichos recited in the house of a mourner during shiva on Asara B'Tevet?

Is Selichot said in the house of an avel during shiva on the 10th of Tevet? Does the mourner lead the Selichos?
Mordechai Rindenow's user avatar
5 votes
1 answer
117 views

Does the congregation recite certain sections of the prayers if a mourner is in the synagogue?

This morning, a mourner (in Shiva period) appeared in my shul. Art Scroll Ashkenaz siddur, among others, most likely, indicate that in a house of mourning, Tachanun is omitted and in Uva Letziyon, ...
DanF's user avatar
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2 votes
2 answers
323 views

Practical Halachas after death of a close relative

what are the practical halachos one must follow after hearing of the death of a relative one is supposed to sit shiva for? (until the burial)
ray's user avatar
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2 votes
2 answers
123 views

Rebbe wearing new garments during shloshim

I recently heard from a couple of Bnei Brak Wizniter chassidim that their rebbes (R' Yisroel and R' Mendel) wore new clothing for Pesach 5772, less than a month after their father passed away. How ...
Adám's user avatar
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2 votes
1 answer
529 views

Does Yom Tov end the "Shloshim" period?

I know that if people are sitting shiva, and a Yom Tov occurs in the middle of the shiva period, shiva immediately ends. Does this same "quick end" rule apply to the shloshim (30 day mourning period) ...
DanF's user avatar
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