Questions tagged [mourning-aveilus]

A halachic period of mourning after the passing of a close relative. There are many laws and customs relating to this period and those observing it.

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174 views

Parent/child relationship : how does adoption compare to geirus?

Take a father and daughter who both underwent geirus. Now take a Jewish man who adopted a baby girl of unknown (Jewish) parents. In both situations, the father raises the child since birth. Are the ...
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413 views

Covering pictures in the house of a mourner

There is a minhag I have heard of where in addition to covering all of the mirrors in the mourner's house they would also cover all pictures of the deceased. I have long tried to find a source for ...
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no shiva after finding out after sheloshim?

I interpret the shiva as also being a time for the mourner to psychologically process the loss of the deceased. If a mourner only learns about the deceased's passing more than 30 days after the death,...
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Did Jacob's sons do aveilut before Jacob was buried?

In viewing Breishit 50:10 it says that the group came to Goren Ha'atad and they made a seven-day mourning period for their father there. Only afterwards, does it state that they buried Jacob in the ...
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380 views

Covering the mirrors in the house of a mourner

When learning the laws of mourning in the Gemara and rishonim I don't recall the requirement to cover up the mirrors in the house of a mourner. But it does seem like a quite prevelalant practice. ...
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For how long was it customary to wear widow's garb and did Tomor follow the custom?

Tomor became a widow while Sheloh was still young Beraishis 38 (11) . Many days passed 38 (12). Tomor took off her widow's garb 38 (14) at the time that Sheloh had grown up and later put it on again ...
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412 views

Priority for multiple “chiyuvim” to be Shaliach Tzibbur

What is the priority for the following situations regarding who is Shaliach Tzibbur during a weekday (I'm excluding the possibility of various customs that exclude such people from leading services on ...
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126 views

Changes in Hilchos Aveilus due to the reaction of gentiles

I just read an article by Rabbi Yair Hoffman regarding images of woman. In the article he mentions that we have in the past changed our Minhagim in Hilchos Aveilus in concern of reaction of gentiles. ...
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Why does Yom Tov end, rather than suspend, sh'loshim?

If Yom Tov falls during the 30-day period of mourning (sh'loshim), the sh'loshim is terminated. This morning when the minyan got to the mourners' kaddish I noticed the pained expression on the face ...
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Is shiva suspended during weekday davening?

This is a hypothetical designed to investigate a subtlety of practice and understanding, not elicit a halachic ruling. I will be attending a morning shiva minyan on Monday. The mourner is a kohen and ...
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792 views

What does one say to an Onen?

After a death but before the burial, some relatives have the status of Onen. While there is a sentence we say to a mourner afterwards, Hamakom, is there any specific thing one should say to someone ...
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347 views

Can one buy or rent a vacation home during the 12 months of mourning?

This source says: During the twelve months (of mourning for a parent), it is forbidden to: purchase or rent a home, unless a significant loss would otherwise be incurred Does "home" mean a ...
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124 views

Was it customary for there to be an annual lamentation for someone's death, e.g. the daughter of Jephthah? Details as to her mourning process?

In Judges 11, the overzealous (or prideful) short-reigned judge of Israel, Jephthah, makes the rash vow to G-d that if he is victorious against the Ammorites and safely returns home, then he will ...
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Why does the shiva expression begn with term המקום? [duplicate]

Prior to leaving the shiva house, visitors say to the mourners: המקום ינחם אתכם... Meaning (literally) "The place should comfort you..." WHat is the meaning of referring to God as "the place" ...
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507 views

Is one allowed to change the torn shirt during shiva?

When I have visited someone during the shiva week, I notice that they wear a torn shirt. I know that the shirt is usually torn at the funeral home or cemetery prior to burial. I assume that the ...
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310 views

The historical significance of Rosh Chodesh Av

According to the mishna in Ta'anit (26a-b), 5 things happened on the 17th of Tammuz and 5 on Tish'a B'av. The last was that Jerusalem was plowed under: "ונחרשה העיר משנכנס אב ממעטין בשמחה " The ...
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Throwing dust on head = common mourning ritual?

In Job 2:12, when Job's friends first see Job at a distance, they "did not recognize him, and they raised their voices, and wept aloud; they tore their robes and threw dust in the air upon their heads....
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Harchakot while grieving, ch"v

If, G-d forbid, a wife learned of a terrible tragedy while a niddah, is there any possibility that her husband could hug her? To be clear, I am asking for respected sources that look at this matter ...
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What to say to someone on a yahrzeit

Is there a standard expression used to greet or comfort those who are celebrating an anniversary of mourning? (...and why is it said?) Even if not, what should one say? (...and why?) We should merit ...
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697 views

Eating in restaurants during Aveilus

Recently a friend told me that it is not proper to eat out in restaurants when one is an Aveil. I have been searching for a source that prohibits this. Does anyone know of a source prohibiting eating ...
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Minhagim of Sefirah

Most people keep only part of Sefirah (the seven-week period joining Pesach and Shavuos) as a period of semimourning: either (roughly) the first 33 days or (roughly) the last 33 days. There are ...
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If visiting the kosel before a joyous event, does one tear kriyah?

If visiting the kosel the morning of, say, one's wedding, should one tear kriyah? I am asking whether we should be in mourning for the temple even at a very joyous time. (My guess is yes, partly based ...
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1answer
283 views

Should one refrain from fun activities during sefirah?

During sefirah there is a custom to mourn the dying of R Akiva's disciples. Is the mourning restricted to the well known restrictions of not shaving and listening to music - or should one refrain ...
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160 views

Source for “Hamakom” said at shiva and variations

What is the source for the text of hamakom? In Israel I noticed that they add some words that I never heard in the States (something like"vlo yosifo lidavek?od") , what is the source for them and why ...
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836 views

“Hamakom” after shiv'a

In my experience, for the most part, "‏המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים" is said to a mourner specifically during shiv'a. However, I've heard some people say it after shiv'a, particularly ...
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280 views

Brit milah during shloshim

I understand that someone observing shloshim should not attend a seudat mitzvah. I was wondering what happens if someone observing shloshim has a baby boy who is due for a bris. Does the parent ...
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Proper day and time for a Shloshim Seuda

Per Chabad.org: "Traditionally, families gather on the eve of the Shloshim to share support, recite prayers and Psalms, and to give charity in the merit of the deceased. Many will also make a Siyum, ...
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420 views

“Chiyuv” to be chazan vs. congregational approval and refusal

Follow-up to this M.Y. answer about a "chiyuv" to daven from the amud. The answer states that a mourner for a parent should try to be shaliach tzibbur. I question whether this rule contradicts some ...
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What does it mean for a mourner to “have a chiuv”?

I have noticed that in many synagogues, before davening, the gabbai customarily asks if anybody "has a chiuv". If there is anybody with a chiuv, he is asked to daven from the amud. The people who ...
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497 views

Mourner that misses Kaddish

A mourner who is having an operation, or travelling, or any other reason that makes it impossible for him to say Kaddish at a particular Tefila. Is there anything the mourner should do to make up for ...
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311 views

Does a mourner tear one garment, or every garment he wears for a period of time?

I belong to a liberal community and what I have seen, when somebody is in mourning for a parent, is that they wear a "kriah ribbon" instead of tearing an actual garment, and they wear it at least ...
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260 views

Aveil participating in a Simcha

May an Aveil attend a wedding of a sibling or neighbor? May he eat there? How about a Sheva Brachos? Bar Mitzva? Bris? Is there a difference in the Sheloshim and the remainder of the year?
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492 views

Is Selichos recited in the house of a mourner during shiva on Asara B'Tevet?

Is Selichot said in the house of an avel during shiva on the 10th of Tevet? Does the mourner lead the Selichos?
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Does the congregation recite certain sections of the prayers if a mourner is in the synagogue?

This morning, a mourner (in Shiva period) appeared in my shul. Art Scroll Ashkenaz siddur, among others, most likely, indicate that in a house of mourning, Tachanun is omitted and in Uva Letziyon, ...
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252 views

Practical Halachas after death of a close relative

what are the practical halachos one must follow after hearing of the death of a relative one is supposed to sit shiva for? (until the burial)
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112 views

Rebbe wearing new garments during shloshim

I recently heard from a couple of Bnei Brak Wizniter chassidim that their rebbes (R' Yisroel and R' Mendel) wore new clothing for Pesach 5772, less than a month after their father passed away. How ...
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496 views

Does Yom Tov end the “Shloshim” period?

I know that if people are sitting shiva, and a Yom Tov occurs in the middle of the shiva period, shiva immediately ends. Does this same "quick end" rule apply to the shloshim (30 day mourning period) ...
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885 views

When and why did we stop wearing sackcloth?

When and why did we stop wearing sackcloth in times of mourning and other times of distress (e.g., when fasting for rain)? (I presume sackcloth was quite uncomfortable.) Sackcloth is mentioned in ...
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What exactly is the purpose of Tisha B'av?

So recently I was answering a question about why we don't say selichos on Tisha B'av,and I answered basicaly saying that the purpose on Tisha B'av isn't to ask for forgiveness, rather it is for ...
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On Tish'a B'Av,can someone say the typical “Mourner's statement” to any/everyone else?

Upon leaving a mourner (when one visits him / her during shiva), one says: המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבילי ציון וירושלים "May G-d comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem" Since during ...
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Studying Holocaust Responsa on Tish'ah BeAv

One of the restrictions practiced on Tish'ah BeAv is the study of Torah, because Torah study "gladdens the heart". Several exceptions have been formally codified, which are of a nature germane to the ...
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Why would someone recite Kaddish D'Rabbanan but not Kaddish Yatom?

Generally, in my experience, the same people recite kaddish d'rabbanan and kaddish yatom in davening. [Kaddish yatom is said after reciting psukim, such as a perek of Tehillim, while kaddish d'...
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Can one eat meat on erev shabbos in the 9 days for the mitzvah of טאמאה? [duplicate]

I remember learning once that it is a mitzvah to taste at least one food on erev shabbos that will be served on shabbos. I believe it is called טאמאה. So today is erev shabbos Rosh Chodesh during the ...
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Prohibition to Wear Freshly Laundered Clothes in the 9 days

Normally is customary to avoid wearing freshly laundered clothes during the 9 days. Does this apply these days when freshly laundered clothes are no longer exciting and new? Perhaps the parallel today ...
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1answer
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Aninut on Shabbat

I was searching the net earlier today and discovered this article, which states that R' Wosner's son, R' Meir, learned of his father's death after davening Maariv on the first night of Pesach. He ...
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Is a Jew allowed to visit a Christian cemetery?

If a Jew wishes to visit a grave at a Christian cemetery (say the grave of a patrilineal grandparent), is it permissible? Does it matter if it is a mostly unadorned cemetery vs. one with pictures of ...
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168 views

What is Ruaḥ HaShem?

When recalling someone who has passed (in a shi'ur or Devar Torah), I have heard many say "Ruaḥ HaShem teniḥenu/ah beGan 'Eden" (רוח ה' תניחנו/ה בגן עדן). 1) What is "Ruaḥ HaShem" (literally, the ...
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Is aninus more lenient than Aveilus?

I was under the impression that the further time passes from death the weaker the Aveilus. For example, Shiva is stronger than Sheloshim is stronger than 11 months. Yet, according to the Gemara in ...
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Laws of Mourning - Cutting Hair (w.r.t. Rav Ovadia z"l)

I was interested to know what practice the sons of Rav Ovadia z"l had followed in regard to cutting their hair after the passing of their father? I.e., for how many months did they leave their hair ...
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Why do Sefaradim skip “Uva LeTziyon” in the house of a mourner?

This morning I prayed with a Sefaradi minyan in which were a few mourners. After Hazarat HaSha"Tz, they skipped Tahhanun and Uva LeTziyon. I can imagine a justification for skipping Tahhanun; but, ...