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Questions tagged [mourning-aveilus]

A halachic period of mourning after the passing of a close relative. There are many laws and customs relating to this period and those observing it.

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Proper day and time for a Shloshim Seuda

Per Chabad.org: "Traditionally, families gather on the eve of the Shloshim to share support, recite prayers and Psalms, and to give charity in the merit of the deceased. Many will also make a Siyum, ...
dan's user avatar
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Is the mourning for a late relative dependent on the state of their relationship before death?

Are the halochos (laws) about observing mourning rituals for a relative (e.g., shiva, shloshim, etc.), affected in any way by the state of the relationship between the mourner and deceased before his ...
mike's user avatar
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What's considered shaving?

During periods of mourning, such as Sefirat Haomer and the three weeks prior to Tisha B'av, shaving is prohibited. What is considered shaving and what is allowed? May you pluck out a few hairs here ...
Ani Yodea's user avatar
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6 votes
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Protocol/requirements for repeat visits to a Shiv'ah house

What are the Protocol/requirements for repeat visits to a Shiv'ah house? Are there any formalities that can be set aside (letting them speak first, sitting with them, as opposed to chatting by the ...
Seth J's user avatar
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God's Nichum Aveilim

Asking for a friend: On Kiddushin 38a, Tosfos s.v. Tzei, explain that Hashem didn't approach Yehoshua until after the 30 days of mourning for Moshe had elapsed, since the Shechinah does not descend ...
רבות מחשבות's user avatar
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1k views

May stones left on graves be decorated?

Like many Jews I have the minhag of placing small stones on Jewish graves I visit. (The precise roots and meaning of this custom have many explanations, but it is widespread and I am not questioning ...
arp's user avatar
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What constitutes a "Hesped" (eulogy)?

There are certain dates throughout the year when one may not give a "Hesped" (eulogy) because of a certain level of happiness associated with those dates. However, I've attended funerals conducted on ...
Seth J's user avatar
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Hava Amina for Kohen not becoming impure for father

The Midrash questions why the Torah has to specify that a Kohen becomes impure both for his deceased father and deceased mother. Why not just write his mother? It says: [ד] יאמר "לאמו", מה תלמוד ...
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4 votes
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Parent/child relationship : how does adoption compare to geirus?

Take a father and daughter who both underwent geirus. Now take a Jewish man who adopted a baby girl of unknown (Jewish) parents. In both situations, the father raises the child since birth. Are the ...
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When and why would one don sackcloth?

There are various instances in tanach of someone donning sackcloth. I would like to know whether any commentators have compiled an outline as to when and why someone would don sackcloth (is it only ...
not-allowed to change my name's user avatar
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Should I rend k'riyah if I witness the death of a non-relative? If so, what's the procedure?

In another question, Chalutznahal cites Yoreh De'ah 340:5, which says that when I witness a fellow Jew die, I must rend my shirt out of sadness. And British Rabbi Dr. Moshe Freedman brings this down ...
unforgettableidSupportsMonica's user avatar
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Why read about Rashb"i's death at a memorial ceremony?

Why do many people read the passage (known as אדרא זוטא) from Zohar about the death of Rabbi Shim'on ben Yochai at memorial ceremonies? A description of it can be found here.
WAF's user avatar
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Eating in restaurants during Aveilus

Recently a friend told me that it is not proper to eat out in restaurants when one is an Aveil. I have been searching for a source that prohibits this. Does anyone know of a source prohibiting eating ...
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Source for finishing the entire Mishnayos for Shloshim

Lo aleinu someone has passed away in my life, and I am wondering about the customs that relate to aveilus. I have noticed that people have the custom of splitting the entire Mishnayos to be learned ...
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Custom of two people not clothing someone together

Probably a common occurrence is when putting clothes on a baby, both parents will try to do it together to make it easier (one puts on the shirt, one puts on the pants, etc.). Someone recently told me ...
robev's user avatar
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Can one go from being an Aveil to being an Onein?

A person is an onein while taking care of arrangements for a burial, and, from what I have learned, if that person's work is finished and that person leaves the body or the body leaves the person for ...
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Aninut and food

After the death of a close relative and before the burial (or the cessation of involvement with the body) one is in a stage of Aninut. During that time, one is exempted (or even forbidden) from many ...
rosends's user avatar
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Giving Gift to Mourning Spouse?

Although the Rema (YD 385:3) writes ואסור לשלוח מנות לאבל על אביו ואמו כל י"ב חדש - It is forbidden to send [or bring] gifts to one who is in mourning for his father or mother, throughout the ...
NJM's user avatar
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Dating when parent died

What are the laws/customs of dating/shiddichim during the first 30 days or the first year after a parent died? What if it happened to the one you are(or want to) date/ing?
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Does מין mean Christian, and if so what are the implications?

From what I have read there seems to be ample evidence that the term מין, as used in several places in the talmud, refers to Christians. I would like to know if there are any authorities who cite this ...
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74 views

Best practices for long-distance Nihum Aveilim and Kavod HaMeith

What are some best practices for people who learn from afar of the passing of an individual (not immediate family) and who want show their respects to the deceased and the surviving family? If they ...
Seth J's user avatar
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Kaddish for non-blood relatives

Does one say kaddish for a non-blood relative such as (chas v'shalom) a daughter-in-law? I know that a husband says kaddish when the parent of his wife passes away, but my understanding is that this ...
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Are reels forbidden during the Omer because of background music?

I know there are already various opinions on recorded music but I'm interested specifically in posts on social media, where music is used in the background for complimentary rather than festive ...
rudolfovic's user avatar
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Gerusha who marries a Kohen

I’m currently learning the Halachos of Aveilus with a Chavrusah and we discussed the following question if a gerusha who marries a Kohen and he dies, does she sit shiva and observe the mourning period ...
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Source for "Miktzas HaYom K'Kulo"?

What is the source for "Miktzas HaYom K'Kulo"? I realize it applies to Availus (mourning) and it is also brought up regarding Nazir but I could not find its source?
Larry Kraut's user avatar
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Father of baby is an onen by bris

We know an onen doesn’t perform any positive commandments, what happens if it’s the 8th day for his son and he needs to perform the bris, is he allowed to do that, or make a shliach, or does it get ...
Chatzkel's user avatar
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Is *HaMakom Yenachem* said Friday night in synagogue when the body's not yet buried?

If there are mourners in shul Friday night, they are greeting with HaMakom Yenachem Eschem etc. What if a relative died on Friday afternoon, but there's not enough time to bury before shabbos -- ...
Shalom's user avatar
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Mourning for only certain relatives?

After learning the Rambam (Mourning 1:10) וְכֵן הָאֶפִּיקוֹרוֹסִין [וְהַמּוּמָרִים] וְהַמּוֹסְרִין כָּל אֵלּוּ אֵין מִתְאַבְּלִין עֲלֵיהֶן it seems that we don't mourn for these categories of ...
NJM's user avatar
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2 votes
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Eating an Egg Whole

Is there a basis for this custom that one may not bite into an egg which is still whole, but must be first cut or broken in two, unless it's a time of mourning (aveilut) and only then the egg is ...
Ben Fuzze's user avatar
2 votes
0 answers
102 views

Breaking an Omer restriction

In a hypothetical case, I have chosen to observe the restrictions of the Omer during the "first half." But then, I am placed in a situation at which happy live music is being played. Does my presence ...
rosends's user avatar
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2 votes
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102 views

Should tachanun be said in a mourner's shtiebl?

Many shtiebls are set up as shuls that are part of someone's home. This raises the question as to what is considered a "mourner's home" with regard to saying tachanun. Background: Tachanun is not ...
DanF's user avatar
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How Avelut is healing, according to Rambam?

The Rambam in Moreh Nevuchim (Chelek 3 Chapter 41) explains that mourning a deceased relative actually heals the great pain an Avel may have: " For mourners find comfort in crying and in excitement ...
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Why doesn't our decrease of joy extend beyond Tish'a B'Av?

Citing from here There is a famous Mishnah that is cited towards the end of Masechet Ta’anit (4:6) that states: “Mishenichnas Av, Mema’atin Besimcha” “When the month of Av arrives, we ...
DanF's user avatar
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2 votes
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117 views

Saying kaddish vs. Davening slower

This is the flip side of this question. Related to this. If someone has an obligation to say kaddish yatom (in this hypothetical, he is not davening for the amud and he is saying ma'ariv) should he ...
rosends's user avatar
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2 votes
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262 views

Minhagim of Sefirah

Most people keep only part of Sefirah (the seven-week period joining Pesach and Shavuos) as a period of semimourning: either (roughly) the first 33 days or (roughly) the last 33 days. There are ...
user12670's user avatar
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41 views

Eicha 2:5 Targum - seemingly out of order

Eicha 2:5 Targum translates תאניה ואניה as אבילותא ואנינותא. Does not Aninus come before Aveilus? How can this targum be explained?
Gershon Gold's user avatar
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0 answers
122 views

Is it always a good idea to say an extra Shema' if you missed one?

According to Double AA's answer on a related question, "it can't hurt" to say an extra Shema' later if you missed the Zeman (set time) for it. While it may be true to a certain extent that saying ...
Seth J's user avatar
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2 votes
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Use of a commoner's talis to read the Torah on

Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim 153:21: אין לקנות מעילים שנשתמש בהם הדיוט לתשמיש קדושה One must not purchase for holy use garments that a commoner used. "Holy use" here includes use as the ...
msh210's user avatar
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2 votes
1 answer
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Does one mourn during the days following Shavuot?

We say the four verses starting "Yehi Shem" (instead of Tachanun) after Shavuot because of the bringing of the Korbanot. Does this have any impact on mourning after Shavuot?
henryaaron's user avatar
1 vote
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50 views

Source for minhag to not eat whole hard boiled eggs?

I know people (including myself) who don't eat whole hard-boiled eggs, i.e. after boiling the egg they cut the egg in half or quarters and then eat it. The reason I heard was that eating an egg whole ...
Avishai Tebeka's user avatar
1 vote
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51 views

What defines a "mourner's home" (bet aveil)?

I'm asking this as a follow-up to this question. Certain prayers such as tachanun are omitted when praying in a mourner's home. OU says that this is true even if the mourners are not present. ...
DanF's user avatar
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1 vote
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Kaddish for children

I heard some rabbanim say that if a baby or child is over the age of 30 days, one should say kaddish for him for a year (11 months) while I have heard others say that 11 months is only for a parent ...
Rh Haokip's user avatar
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1 vote
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Kaddish not being said correctly

Should one respond to a Kaddish that a mourner is not pronouncing the words properly? I don’t know if this question has been asked before, but I found something similar - Is there such a thing as a ...
Daniel Ross's user avatar
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1 vote
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Switching back to a seat in Aveilut

There is a practice for a mourner to change his seat in Shul -- there are many different opinions about when and how. If, during the period of mourning, the mourner suffers another loss, so he ...
rosends's user avatar
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1 vote
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573 views

Brother saying kaddish after sheloshim

A sibling who passed away without having children but his brother takes the responsibility to say Kaddish for the eleven months. Is the brother allowed to lead prayers from the amud if he is acting ...
Daniel Ross's user avatar
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1 vote
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Why do we cry at shivah houses?

The Midrash in Koheles Rabbah (7:4 in the Warsaw numbering) writes (translation follows Artscroll, chapter 7, page 31): נולד אדם הכל שמחין מת הכל בוכין. ואינו כן אלא נולד אדם ואין שמחין לו שאין ...
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Excluding others from Kaddish on Yahrtzeit

There seems to be a minhag in some of the shuls in the large Jewish community I live in which features the gabbai yelling "Yahrtzeit" near the end of davening. At that point, only the individual with ...
NJM's user avatar
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1 vote
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Is shiva suspended during weekday davening?

This is a hypothetical designed to investigate a subtlety of practice and understanding, not elicit a halachic ruling. I will be attending a morning shiva minyan on Monday. The mourner is a kohen and ...
rosends's user avatar
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1 vote
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103 views

Is aninus more lenient than Aveilus?

I was under the impression that the further time passes from death the weaker the Aveilus. For example, Shiva is stronger than Sheloshim is stronger than 11 months. Yet, according to the Gemara in ...
ertert3terte's user avatar
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Laws of Mourning - Cutting Hair (w.r.t. Rav Ovadia z"l)

I was interested to know what practice the sons of Rav Ovadia z"l had followed in regard to cutting their hair after the passing of their father? I.e., for how many months did they leave their hair ...
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