Questions tagged [mourning-aveilus]
A halachic period of mourning after the passing of a close relative. There are many laws and customs relating to this period and those observing it.
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9 be-Av on Shabbos
When 9 be-Av falls on Shabbos, it is moved to the following Sunday.
Are there any restrictions on Shabbos because of 9 be-Av (maybe tashmish is forbidden)?
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How to Tear Kriyah
What is the proper procedure for tearing Kriyah (e.g. for Aveilus* or visiting the Kosel)?
* May we never have to do so
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Dancing on Yom Haatzmaus
One is not allowed to dance during the mourning days of s'firas haomer (Mishna B'rura 493:3). According to all major customs, Yom Haatzmaus (Israel's independence day) falls during the mourning days (...
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Mundane activities on Tisha B'Av
Tisha B'Av should be spent focusing on the destruction of Jerusalem and Beit haMikdash; but is it permissible to do daily chores as well? For example, this year, Tisha B'Av is postponed one day ...
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Mourning Greetings
The Shulchan Aruch in Yoreh Deah Siman 385 outlines the prohibition regarding "Sheilat Shalom" (greeting with peace) to a mourner. Does this prohibition include such terms as "Hello" "Good morning" "...
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When there are four aveilim (mourners), Is it better to have one minyan of 40 people or 4 minyonim of ten each?
Today I was in a shul where there were four parallel mincha services because four mourners wanted to lead the services. I thought there was a principle of ברב עם הדרת מלך?
What sources are there that ...
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How obligated is one to say Kaddish for a deceased relative?
People often talk about an obligation -- Chiyuv -- to recite Kaddish at every opportunity for some time after the death of a relative. (Which relatives are obligated and for how long does not seem ...
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When do Sefardim start mourning in a year that Tisha B'av is postponed until Sunday?
As mentioned here, Sefardim observe the mourning period known to Ashkenazim as "The Nine Days" only during the week that Tisha B'av occurs.
Tisha B'av falls out on Shabbat this year (5772), and the ...
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Taking a Shower during the Nine-Days
What are the parameters for taking a shower during the 9-day period between Rosh Chodesh Av and Tisha Bav? Namely:
When is one allowed to?
When doing so what water temperature should it be set on?
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Staying to enjoy the unexpected playing of recorded music during the 3 weeks/9 days
Assuming for a moment that one holds that the prohibition of listening to music during the Three Weeks / Nine Days applies to recorded music, if one were in a store that had music playing on the ...
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Priority for multiple "chiyuvim" to be Shaliach Tzibbur
What is the priority for the following situations regarding who is Shaliach Tzibbur during a weekday (I'm excluding the possibility of various customs that exclude such people from leading services on ...
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Movies and music during the 3 weeks according to Rav Soloveitchik
The Rav compares the 3 weeks to the twelve months of mourning, and following that comparison he permits shaving during the 3 weeks (but not the 9 days) but forbids large social gatherings.
What does ...
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Placing stones on a grave
My office is situated right next to a Jewish cemetery. A coworker, noticing the yarmulke on my head, asked me why he sometimes sees stones placed on some of the gravestones. I told him that as far as ...
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Proper recitation of Hamakom Yenachem
Is the proper phrase to console a mourner always the plural המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים or should it be changed depending on whom it is said to (singluar, feminine, etc.)?
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Meat on Rosh Chodesh of 9 days
Why is The reasoning that Sefardim do eat on Rosh Chodesh and Ashkinazim do not?
Sefardim
Is It Permissible To Have Left Over Meat From Shabbat During The 9 Days
Ashkenazim
EATING MEAT AND ...
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How can a person visualize the Churban Bais HaMikdash?
It is now thousands of years since the Churban Bais HaMikdash. Many Jews feel very comfortable in their surroundings. How can a person help themselves visualize and understand the great loss of the ...
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Why do we comfort a mourner with Hamakom Yenachem Eschem?
Why, when comforting a mourner at the completion of a Shiva visit, do we refer to G-d as Hamakom? We say Hamakom Yanachem Eschem - why not Hashem Yenachem or Elokim Yenachem?
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Why are different kaddishes said by different people?
The "Mourners' Kaddish" and the "Rabbis' Kaddish" are said by mourners: either all instances are said by all mourners in the synagogue simultaneously, or each mourner gets a turn at one kaddish, or ...
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Is a Jew allowed to visit a Christian cemetery?
If a Jew wishes to visit a grave at a Christian cemetery (say the grave of a patrilineal grandparent), is it permissible? Does it matter if it is a mostly unadorned cemetery vs. one with pictures of ...
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Does a mourner tear one garment, or every garment he wears for a period of time?
I belong to a liberal community and what I have seen, when somebody is in mourning for a parent, is that they wear a "kriah ribbon" instead of tearing an actual garment, and they wear it at least ...
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Haircuts on Friday when the 47th of the omer falls on Sunday
The Rema, commenting on the mourning of the first 33 days of the omer, allows haircuts on Friday, lichvod shabbos, when the 33rd falls on Sunday.
Does the same reasoning apply when the 47th falls on ...
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What is the halachic source for the minhagim of mourning during Sefira?
What is the earliest halachic source for the minhagim of mourning during sefira? Note that this does not mean the story of R' Akiva, I'm talking about halachic references to prohibitions such as not ...
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Does the congregation recite certain sections of the prayers if a mourner is in the synagogue?
This morning, a mourner (in Shiva period) appeared in my shul.
Art Scroll Ashkenaz siddur, among others, most likely, indicate that in a house of mourning, Tachanun is omitted and in Uva Letziyon, ...
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"Hamakom" after shiv'a
In my experience, for the most part, "המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים" is said to a mourner specifically during shiv'a. However, I've heard some people say it after shiv'a, particularly ...
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Kibus (Laundry) During the Nine Days
The reason brought by Rashi and quoted by poskim such as the Mishna Berurah as to why we do not do laundry during the nine days (or Sefardim, in the week that the Ninth of Av falls out in) is because "...
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Why don't we wear tallit and tefillin on Tisha B'Av morning?
I am aware that an onen (person whose close relative has died but has not yet been buried) does not wear tallit and tefillin.
As I understand, during Tish'a B'Av, we are considered aveilim (mourners, ...
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Learning laws of aveilut when your parents are alive?
Is it appropriate to learn the laws of aveilut when both your parents are alive? Or is there a superstition that it could be dangerous to them?
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What does it mean for a mourner to "have a chiuv"?
I have noticed that in many synagogues, before davening, the gabbai customarily asks if anybody "has a chiuv". If there is anybody with a chiuv, he is asked to daven from the amud. The people who ...
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Why do we not say selichot on Tisha B'Av?
Every fast day on the Jewish calendar has its set of selichot that are said. The one exception to this is Tisha B'Av. This seems counter-intuitive to me because Tisha B'Av is the day when we mourn the ...
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Can a convert mourn for their Jewish parents?
Consider someone who was born to a Jewish father and non-Jewish mother who then converted to Judaism with his mother. It seems pashut from the Shulchan Aruch that one who converts is considered a "...
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Covering the mirrors in the house of a mourner
When learning the laws of mourning in the Gemara and rishonim I don't recall the requirement to cover up the mirrors in the house of a mourner. But it does seem like a quite prevelalant practice. ...
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Do mourners change their seats in shul today?
The g'mara on Moed Katan 23a says that after shiva, when the mourner stays at home, he can return to shul but does not sit in his usual seat. (According to this g'mara, he returns to his usual seat a ...
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Why do mourning practices surrounding suicide differ from Shulchan Aruch?
It used to be that a person who committed suicide was buried in a separate part of the cemetery and the relatives did not sit shiva (see Shulchan Aruch YD 345). We no longer do these things and we ...
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If someone needs to shave during Sefirah or Three Weeks because of work, should he also shave before Shabbos?
If someone needs to shave during Sefirah or Three Weeks because of work, should he also shave before Shabbos?
It seems strange to shave for M-F, but to go into Shabbos with stubble. On the other hand,...
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In Kaddish -- what consolation can we offer G-d?
In the Kaddish, we say that may G-d be praised "beyond any blessing, hymn, praise, and consolation said in this world."
I understand how we can bless or praise G-d -- but how exactly (or even ...
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Source for "Hamakom" said at shiva and variations
What is the source for the text of hamakom?
In Israel I noticed that they add some words that I never heard in the States (something like"vlo yosifo lidavek?od") , what is the source for them and why ...
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Can a mourner/avel learn Torah on Shabbat?
If I'm not mistaken a mourner in the 1st 7 days, during the Shiva cannot study Torah (except for mourning-related Torah study) as it brings joy to a person.
Firstly is this Halacha or a Minhag?
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Wishes to a mourner in addition to "Hamokom Yenachem Eschem"
I have heard some people say in Yiddish after "Hamokom Yenachem Eschem B'Soch Shaar Aveilei Tzion V'Yerushalayim" ("May God comfort you alongside the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem"), "Zulst Mer Nisht ...
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Should an adoptee mourn his Jewish biological parents?
I was adopted at birth from a Jewish biological mother into a Jewish adoptive family. Should I observe mourning for my birth mother when she dies, and otherwise honor her as a parent? Thank you.
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How long does one say Kaddish for a sibling?
There is discussion here on MY about saying Kaddish for parents and also some discussion on Kaddish for a sister. One place on the Chabad website states that Kaddish should be said for 30 days for a ...
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Parent/child relationship : how does adoption compare to geirus?
Take a father and daughter who both underwent geirus. Now take a Jewish man who adopted a baby girl of unknown (Jewish) parents. In both situations, the father raises the child since birth. Are the ...
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How are albums such as AKAPella considered a capella?
AKAPella is an a cappella group that performs parodies on other artists' songs, often non-Jewish ones as of late, in a cappella for people to enjoy during sefira and the three weeks.
In their albums,...
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Can one switch chazzanim at non-traditional places in the service to accommodate a mourner who came late?
Can one switch chazzanim at non-traditional places in the service to accomodate a mourner who came late? For example, Reuven is asked to lead the prayers (say mincha). He says “Ashrei”, “Kaddish” and ...
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Aveilus for an adoptive parent
Are there any dinim of aveilus for a child that was adopted when his adoptive parents pass away? Are there any poskim that spoke about this?
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Mourning the death of an infant
If an infant only survives for one day Rachmana litzlan, do the parents have to sit shiva or say kaddish?
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Harchakot while grieving, ch"v
If, G-d forbid, a wife learned of a terrible tragedy while a niddah, is there any possibility that her husband could hug her?
To be clear, I am asking for respected sources that look at this matter ...
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What if there's a Minyan of Aveilim?
It is my understanding that when one is in the year of mourning following the death of certain relatives, he is not allowed to lead ["daven from the amud"] certain prayers (such as those on Shabbos, ...
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Use of a commoner's talis to read the Torah on
Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim 153:21:
אין לקנות מעילים שנשתמש בהם הדיוט לתשמיש קדושה
One must not purchase for holy use garments that a commoner used.
"Holy use" here includes use as the ...
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Is it always a good idea to say an extra Shema' if you missed one?
According to Double AA's answer on a related question, "it can't hurt" to say an extra Shema' later if you missed the Zeman (set time) for it.
While it may be true to a certain extent that saying ...
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