Questions tagged [mourning-aveilus]

A halachic period of mourning after the passing of a close relative. There are many laws and customs relating to this period and those observing it.

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7
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0answers
49 views

An ovel attending a wedding on zoom

Is it possible for a Jew who is in mourning (an ovel) to attend a wedding on Zoom? My intial thought process was why not? If one cannot be משתתף (join) with a virtual minyan (quorum of 10 men) as all ...
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202 views

Shiva for an estranged parent?

Suppose someone has parents who are divorced. That someone is close with one parent, but has absolutely no relationship with the other. Must he sit shiva for the estranged parent? Is there any ...
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Not consoling mourners during shiva?

We read in pirkei avos (4:18) the following: רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן אֶלְעָזָר אוֹמֵר, אַל תְּרַצֶּה אֶת חֲבֵרְךָ בִשְׁעַת כַּעֲסוֹ, וְאַל תְּנַחֲמֶנּוּ בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁמֵּתוֹ מֻטָּל לְפָנָיו, וְאַל ...
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Proper day and time for a Shloshim Seuda

Per Chabad.org: "Traditionally, families gather on the eve of the Shloshim to share support, recite prayers and Psalms, and to give charity in the merit of the deceased. Many will also make a Siyum, ...
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3answers
396 views

Prohibition to Wear Freshly Laundered Clothes in the 9 days

Normally is customary to avoid wearing freshly laundered clothes during the 9 days. Does this apply these days when freshly laundered clothes are no longer exciting and new? Perhaps the parallel today ...
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Slobodka/Chevron and Shaving during Sefira

I have been told by many that in the famed Slobodka Yeshiva the students would shave even during Sefira, per the stress on Gadlus HaAdam the Yeshiva pushed. Has anyone seen this mentioned anywhere, ...
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1answer
117 views

An “Aveil” at Shabbat Mincha

An aveil (mourner) does not practice public aveilut (mourning) on Shabbat (Ketubot 4a), though he is still in aveilut and there is some impact on what he can and can't do. Would the presence of an ...
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Is *HaMakom Yenachem* said Friday night in synagogue when the body's not yet buried?

If there are mourners in shul Friday night, they are greeting with HaMakom Yenachem Eschem etc. What if a relative died on Friday afternoon, but there's not enough time to bury before shabbos -- ...
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1answer
46 views

During Shivah must the mourner always sit on a low stool?

During the Shivah period, does one have to sit on a low stool all of the time or only when visitors are present?
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Why read about Rashb"i's death at a memorial ceremony?

Why do many people read the passage (known as אדרא זוטא) from Zohar about the death of Rabbi Shim'on ben Yochai at memorial ceremonies? A description of it can be found here.
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1answer
63 views

Why was King David allowed to mourn on the floor?

I heard from my rav that one of the laws of a king is that during mourning, he is not allowed to sit on the floor. Rather he sits on a couch, so as not shame his status as the king. If this is true, ...
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Placing stones on a grave

My office is situated right next to a Jewish cemetery. A coworker, noticing the yarmulke on my head, asked me why he sometimes sees stones placed on some of the gravestones. I told him that as far as ...
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To say Kaddish if known the person has gone to Gan Eden

This story https://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/headlines-breaking-stories/1819358/tzaddik-of-bnei-brak-appears-in-dream-to-fellow-kovno-ghetto-survivor-im-already-in-gan-eden.html Got me thinking ...
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Not to learn parts of Torah until they become applicable

I was told that one should not learn the laws of Nidda (I guess including orach Chaim 240 and even hoezer 25) until engaged, and not the laws of mourning until applicable (lo alainu) Is this true? Or ...
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Learning laws of aveilut when your parents are alive?

Is it appropriate to learn the laws of aveilut when both your parents are alive? Or is there a superstition that it could be dangerous to them?
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Is Tachanun recited in shul when a chattan and an avel are both present?

If a chattan (groom) is present in shul during the week after marriage, the entire minyan does not say Tachanun. However, if an aveil (mourner) is present in shul during his week of shiva, the ...
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1answer
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Bikkurim 2:2 vs. Maaser Sheini 5:10

Bikkurim 2:2: יֵשׁ בְּמַעֲשֵׂר וּבִכּוּרִים מַה שֶּׁאֵין כֵּן בַּתְּרוּמָה, שֶׁהַמַּעֲשֵׂר וְהַבִּכּוּרִים טְעוּנִים הֲבָאַת מָקוֹם, וּטְעוּנִים וִדּוּי, וַאֲסוּרִין לָאוֹנֵן. רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן ...
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1answer
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Why do mourners study Mishnah Kelim, Ch. 24 and Mikvaos, Ch. 7?

Mourners traditionally study two chapters of the Mishnah, these two chapters being Kelim Ch. 24 and Mikvaos Ch. 7. Besides these sections having to do with ritual purity, what is the underlying ...
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How can the mourner remarry within one month, if he has to wait two regalim?

Moed katan (21b): מתה אשתו ונשא אשה אחרת — אינו רשאי ליכנס לביתו לדבר עמו ]תנחומין, [כדי שלא לפגוע באשה החדשה. If it was the mourner’s wife who died and he married another woman within thirty ...
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Giving Gift to Mourning Spouse?

Although the Rema (YD 385:3) writes ואסור לשלוח מנות לאבל על אביו ואמו כל י"ב חדש - It is forbidden to send [or bring] gifts to one who is in mourning for his father or mother, throughout the ...
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Mourning for only certain relatives?

After learning the Rambam (Mourning 1:10) וְכֵן הָאֶפִּיקוֹרוֹסִין [וְהַמּוּמָרִים] וְהַמּוֹסְרִין כָּל אֵלּוּ אֵין מִתְאַבְּלִין עֲלֵיהֶן it seems that we don't mourn for these categories of ...
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Why doesn't our decrease of joy extend beyond Tish'a B'Av?

Citing from here There is a famous Mishnah that is cited towards the end of Masechet Ta’anit (4:6) that states: “Mishenichnas Av, Mema’atin Besimcha” “When the month of Av arrives, we ...
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1answer
336 views

Is one allowed to attend a wake for a Jew?

As far as I understand, Jews are not allowed to have a wake for a Jewish person. But, let's say for some reason, they do it, anyway. Is a Jew allowed to attend this event if s/he doesn't view the ...
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Do we double mourning and kriah? [duplicate]

There are two separate situations of mourning that (according to many opinions) require the tearing of a garment on the left side -- seeing the Kotel (or an ancient city in Judea) and the passing of a ...
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1answer
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Leftover food from a Shiva house

slightly related to this question: according to the tradition that one should not take food from a Shiva home to eat elsewhere outside the home; does this include taking food after the shiva period ...
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1answer
98 views

Why does leading the Amud alleviate suffering for the deceased?

A question was asked here on the forum for clarification on the Chiyuv for an Avel to pray for the Amud. And in an answer that was given, the answerer provided a quote from Rabbi Neustadt: "...for ...
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2answers
1k views

What does it mean for a mourner to “have a chiuv”?

I have noticed that in many synagogues, before davening, the gabbai customarily asks if anybody "has a chiuv". If there is anybody with a chiuv, he is asked to daven from the amud. The people who ...
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Eating an Egg Whole

Is there a basis for this custom that one may not bite into an egg which is still whole, but must be first cut or broken in two, unless it's a time of mourning (aveilut) and only then the egg is ...
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May one do the Mitzvah of Nichum Aveilim/Consoling Mourners on Tish'a B'av?

Based on On Tish'a B'Av,can someone say the typical "Mourner's statement" to any/everyone else?, may one perform the mitzvah of Nichum Aveilim for one who is sitting shiv'a on ...
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1answer
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On Tish'a B'Av,can someone say the typical “Mourner's statement” to any/everyone else?

Upon leaving a mourner (when one visits him / her during shiva), one says: המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבילי ציון וירושלים "May G-d comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem" Since during ...
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Do mourners change their seats in shul today?

The g'mara on Moed Katan 23a says that after shiva, when the mourner stays at home, he can return to shul but does not sit in his usual seat. (According to this g'mara, he returns to his usual seat a ...
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1answer
65 views

Is tachanun omitted if the mourner in Shiva isn't part of the minyan?

I was at a shiva minyan this morning but the mourner was not there (he was running late from the airport and some people could not wait). He showed up in the middle and went in to another room, then ...
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What defines a “mourner's home” (bet aveil)?

I'm asking this as a follow-up to this question. Certain prayers such as tachanun are omitted when praying in a mourner's home. OU says that this is true even if the mourners are not present. ...
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1answer
126 views

How did Rabbi Akiva start again after losing 24,000 students?

Where did Rebbi Akiva find the inspiration to pick himself up and teach students again after losing 24,000 students?
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1answer
192 views

What halachos of mourning apply to a grandchild for his grandparent's death?

What halachos of mourning, if any, apply to a grandchild upon his or her grandparent's death? Do they tear keri'ah upon hearing of the grandparent's death? Do they sit shivah?
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1answer
49 views

Which mourning laws does an Ashkenazi son follow after his Sefardi mother's death?

An Ashkenazi son (his father was a Yekke) who mourns after his Sefardi mother - does he follow Ashkenazi Minhagim of Avelut (Kaddish for 11 months exactly for example) of Sefardi?
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225 views

listening to a cappela during sefira?

A friend of mine told me that there is a problem with listening to a cappela during sefira. A few people mentioned a few places where it talks about it but I don't remember the places. What is the ...
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1answer
434 views

Dancing on Yom Haatzmaus

One is not allowed to dance during the mourning days of s'firas haomer (Mishna B'rura 493:3). According to all major customs, Yom Haatzmaus (Israel's independence day) falls during the mourning days (...
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0answers
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Breaking an Omer restriction

In a hypothetical case, I have chosen to observe the restrictions of the Omer during the "first half." But then, I am placed in a situation at which happy live music is being played. Does my presence ...
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2answers
3k views

Movies and music during the 3 weeks according to Rav Soloveitchik

The Rav compares the 3 weeks to the twelve months of mourning, and following that comparison he permits shaving during the 3 weeks (but not the 9 days) but forbids large social gatherings. What does ...
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God's Nichum Aveilim

Asking for a friend: On Kiddushin 38a, Tosfos s.v. Tzei, explain that Hashem didn't approach Yehoshua until after the 30 days of mourning for Moshe had elapsed, since the Shechinah does not descend ...
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1answer
697 views

How obligated is one to say Kaddish for a deceased relative?

People often talk about an obligation -- Chiyuv -- to recite Kaddish at every opportunity for some time after the death of a relative. (Which relatives are obligated and for how long does not seem ...
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Kaddish for children

I heard some rabbanim say that if a baby or child is over the age of 30 days, one should say kaddish for him for a year (11 months) while I have heard others say that 11 months is only for a parent ...
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1answer
780 views

Listening to music during year of aveilut

Is one allowed to listen to music during aveilut after the shloshim for therapeutic porpuses? Is there any difference between the way ashkenazim and sephardim hold?
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1answer
125 views

Changes in Hilchos Aveilus due to the reaction of gentiles

I just read an article by Rabbi Yair Hoffman regarding images of woman. In the article he mentions that we have in the past changed our Minhagim in Hilchos Aveilus in concern of reaction of gentiles. ...
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1answer
82 views

Yahrzeit plaque in shul for cremated relatives

Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah) 345:5 states: Those who deviate from the ways of the community, i.e. people who have thrown off the responsibility of mitzvoth from their shoulders, and are not included in ...
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1answer
91 views

Washing clothing with sand .. how?

Rambam Hilchos Avel 6 (13) refers to washing with sand: ומכבס כסותו במים אבל לא בנתר ולא בחול He may wash his clothes in water, but not with soap or using sand. Is there an explanation of the ...
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1answer
78 views

What is typically done regarding mourning practices for those who have no relatives?

Simple question - who mourns or says Kaddish for those that die leaving no relatives to sit shiva or say Kaddish for them? I've seen a number of people in various shuls who say Kaddish for non-...
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1answer
77 views

How to conjugate “their resting place(s)” in Kel Malei Rachamim?

The memorial prayer Kel Malei Rachamim concludes "may they rest in peace in their resting place[s], and let us say Amen." Okay, how to say "resting place[s]." Mishkavam? Mishkaveihem? Mishkevoseihem? ...
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1answer
104 views

'Aninut when the body can't be released

If someone dies and their body cannot be released for burial for an extended length of time, how are aninut* and aveilut approached? This question might have some similarities to whether there is ...

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