Questions tagged [mourning-aveilus]

A halachic period of mourning after the passing of a close relative. There are many laws and customs relating to this period and those observing it.

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How to comfort someone who has lost his non-Jewish parent

I came across a (Facebook) post the other day in which an acquaintance announced he had lost his non-Jewish father. The individual is not a convert; his mother had intermarried. The funeral will not ...
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Proper day and time for a Shloshim Seuda

Per Chabad.org: "Traditionally, families gather on the eve of the Shloshim to share support, recite prayers and Psalms, and to give charity in the merit of the deceased. Many will also make a Siyum, ...
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Is the mourning for a late relative dependent on the state of their relationship before death?

Are the halochos (laws) about observing mourning rituals for a relative (e.g., shiva, shloshim, etc.), affected in any way by the state of the relationship between the mourner and deceased before his ...
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What's considered shaving?

During periods of mourning, such as Sefirat Haomer and the three weeks prior to Tisha B'av, shaving is prohibited. What is considered shaving and what is allowed? May you pluck out a few hairs here ...
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Protocol/requirements for repeat visits to a Shiv'ah house

What are the Protocol/requirements for repeat visits to a Shiv'ah house? Are there any formalities that can be set aside (letting them speak first, sitting with them, as opposed to chatting by the ...
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God's Nichum Aveilim

Asking for a friend: On Kiddushin 38a, Tosfos s.v. Tzei, explain that Hashem didn't approach Yehoshua until after the 30 days of mourning for Moshe had elapsed, since the Shechinah does not descend ...
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87 views

May stones left on graves be decorated?

Like many Jews I have the minhag of placing small stones on Jewish graves I visit. (The precise roots and meaning of this custom have many explanations, but it is widespread and I am not questioning ...
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226 views

What constitutes a “Hesped” (eulogy)?

There are certain dates throughout the year when one may not give a "Hesped" (eulogy) because of a certain level of happiness associated with those dates. However, I've attended funerals conducted on ...
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1answer
70 views

Hava Amina for Kohen not becoming impure for father

The Midrash questions why the Torah has to specify that a Kohen becomes impure both for his deceased father and deceased mother. Why not just write his mother? It says: [ד] יאמר "לאמו", מה תלמוד ...
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162 views

Parent/child relationship : how does adoption compare to geirus?

Take a father and daughter who both underwent geirus. Now take a Jewish man who adopted a baby girl of unknown (Jewish) parents. In both situations, the father raises the child since birth. Are the ...
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112 views

When and why would one don sackcloth?

There are various instances in tanach of someone donning sackcloth. I would like to know whether any commentators have compiled an outline as to when and why someone would don sackcloth (is it only ...
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Should I rend k'riyah if I witness the death of a non-relative? If so, what's the procedure?

In another question, Chalutznahal cites Yoreh De'ah 340:5, which says that when I witness a fellow Jew die, I must rend my shirt out of sadness. And British Rabbi Dr. Moshe Freedman brings this down ...
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Why read about Rashb"i's death at a memorial ceremony?

Why do many people read the passage (known as אדרא זוטא) from Zohar about the death of Rabbi Shim'on ben Yochai at memorial ceremonies? A description of it can be found here.
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1answer
587 views

Eating in restaurants during Aveilus

Recently a friend told me that it is not proper to eat out in restaurants when one is an Aveil. I have been searching for a source that prohibits this. Does anyone know of a source prohibiting eating ...
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Giving Gift to Mourning Spouse?

Although the Rema (YD 385:3) writes ואסור לשלוח מנות לאבל על אביו ואמו כל י"ב חדש - It is forbidden to send [or bring] gifts to one who is in mourning for his father or mother, throughout the ...
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May one do the Mitzvah of Nichum Aveilim/Consoling Mourners on Tish'a B'av?

Based on On Tish'a B'Av,can someone say the typical "Mourner's statement" to any/everyone else?, may one perform the mitzvah of Nichum Aveilim for one who is sitting shiv'a on ...
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1answer
84 views

An “Aveil” at Shabbat Mincha

An aveil (mourner) does not practice public aveilut (mourning) on Shabbat (Ketubot 4a), though he is still in aveilut and there is some impact on what he can and can't do. Would the presence of an ...
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Dating when parent died

What are the laws/customs of dating/shiddichim during the first 30 days or the first year after a parent died? What if it happened to the one you are(or want to) date/ing?
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3answers
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Prohibition to Wear Freshly Laundered Clothes in the 9 days

Normally is customary to avoid wearing freshly laundered clothes during the 9 days. Does this apply these days when freshly laundered clothes are no longer exciting and new? Perhaps the parallel today ...
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Best practices for long-distance Nihum Aveilim and Kavod HaMeith

What are some best practices for people who learn from afar of the passing of an individual (not immediate family) and who want show their respects to the deceased and the surviving family? If they ...
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720 views

Kaddish for non-blood relatives

Does one say kaddish for a non-blood relative such as (chas v'shalom) a daughter-in-law? I know that a husband says kaddish when the parent of his wife passes away, but my understanding is that this ...
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Mourning for only certain relatives?

After learning the Rambam (Mourning 1:10) וְכֵן הָאֶפִּיקוֹרוֹסִין [וְהַמּוּמָרִים] וְהַמּוֹסְרִין כָּל אֵלּוּ אֵין מִתְאַבְּלִין עֲלֵיהֶן it seems that we don't mourn for these categories of ...
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Eating an Egg Whole

Is there a basis for this custom that one may not bite into an egg which is still whole, but must be first cut or broken in two, unless it's a time of mourning (aveilut) and only then the egg is ...
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Breaking an Omer restriction

In a hypothetical case, I have chosen to observe the restrictions of the Omer during the "first half." But then, I am placed in a situation at which happy live music is being played. Does my presence ...
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44 views

Should tachanun be said in a mourner's shtiebl?

Many shtiebls are set up as shuls that are part of someone's home. This raises the question as to what is considered a "mourner's home" with regard to saying tachanun. Background: Tachanun is not ...
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How Avelut is healing, according to Rambam?

The Rambam in Moreh Nevuchim (Chelek 3 Chapter 41) explains that mourning a deceased relative actually heals the great pain an Avel may have: " For mourners find comfort in crying and in excitement ...
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Why doesn't our decrease of joy extend beyond Tish'a B'Av?

Citing from here There is a famous Mishnah that is cited towards the end of Masechet Ta’anit (4:6) that states: “Mishenichnas Av, Mema’atin Besimcha” “When the month of Av arrives, we ...
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64 views

Saying kaddish vs. Davening slower

This is the flip side of this question. Related to this. If someone has an obligation to say kaddish yatom (in this hypothetical, he is not davening for the amud and he is saying ma'ariv) should he ...
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157 views

Minhagim of Sefirah

Most people keep only part of Sefirah (the seven-week period joining Pesach and Shavuos) as a period of semimourning: either (roughly) the first 33 days or (roughly) the last 33 days. There are ...
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139 views

Does מין mean Christian, and if so what are the implications?

From what I have read there seems to be ample evidence that the term מין, as used in several places in the talmud, refers to Christians. I would like to know if there are any authorities who cite this ...
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Is it always a good idea to say an extra Shema' if you missed one?

According to Double AA's answer on a related question, "it can't hurt" to say an extra Shema' later if you missed the Zeman (set time) for it. While it may be true to a certain extent that saying ...
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131 views

Use of a commoner's talis to read the Torah on

Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim 153:21: אין לקנות מעילים שנשתמש בהם הדיוט לתשמיש קדושה One must not purchase for holy use garments that a commoner used. "Holy use" here includes use as the cloth ...
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How long does one say Kaddish for a sibling?

There is discussion here about saying Kaddish for parents and also some discussion on Kaddish for a sister. One place on the Chabad website states that Kaddish should be said for 30 days for a sibling ...
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1answer
213 views

Does one mourn during the days following Shavuot?

We say the four verses starting "Yehi Shem" (instead of Tachanun) after Shavuot because of the bringing of the Korbanot. Does this have any impact on mourning after Shavuot?
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What defines a “mourner's home” (bet aveil)?

I'm asking this as a follow-up to this question. Certain prayers such as tachanun are omitted when praying in a mourner's home. OU says that this is true even if the mourners are not present. ...
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Kaddish for children

I heard some rabbanim say that if a baby or child is over the age of 30 days, one should say kaddish for him for a year (11 months) while I have heard others say that 11 months is only for a parent ...
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Switching back to a seat in Aveilut

There is a practice for a mourner to change his seat in Shul -- there are many different opinions about when and how. If, during the period of mourning, the mourner suffers another loss, so he ...
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229 views

Brother saying kaddish after sheloshim

A sibling who passed away without having children but his brother takes the responsibility to say Kaddish for the eleven months. Is the brother allowed to lead prayers from the amud if he is acting ...
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Why do we cry at shivah houses?

The Midrash in Koheles Rabbah (7:4 in the Warsaw numbering) writes (translation follows Artscroll, chapter 7, page 31): נולד אדם הכל שמחין מת הכל בוכין. ואינו כן אלא נולד אדם ואין שמחין לו שאין ...
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Excluding others from Kaddish on Yahrtzeit

There seems to be a minhag in some of the shuls in the large Jewish community I live in which features the gabbai yelling "Yahrtzeit" near the end of davening. At that point, only the individual with ...
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Is shiva suspended during weekday davening?

This is a hypothetical designed to investigate a subtlety of practice and understanding, not elicit a halachic ruling. I will be attending a morning shiva minyan on Monday. The mourner is a kohen and ...
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Is aninus more lenient than Aveilus?

I was under the impression that the further time passes from death the weaker the Aveilus. For example, Shiva is stronger than Sheloshim is stronger than 11 months. Yet, according to the Gemara in ...
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Laws of Mourning - Cutting Hair (w.r.t. Rav Ovadia z"l)

I was interested to know what practice the sons of Rav Ovadia z"l had followed in regard to cutting their hair after the passing of their father? I.e., for how many months did they leave their hair ...
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Eicha 2:5 Targum - seemingly out of order

Eicha 2:5 Targum translates תאניה ואניה as אבילותא ואנינותא. Does not Aninus come before Aveilus? How can this targum be explained?
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“I was waiting for my flight and a concert broke out.”

We've all heard that joke, right? In all seriousness, though, a friend posted this video of an impromptu concert at Toronto Pearson International Airport yesterday as all flights were either delayed ...
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Kaddish not being said correctly

Should one respond to a Kaddish that a mourner is not pronouncing the words properly? I don’t know if this question has been asked before, but I found something similar - Is there such a thing as a ...
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Eating olives at the house of a mourner

Eating olives at the house of a mourner is a custom among Sephardim. I think it is specifically a Morroccan custom. Is there a source or reason for this?
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Why has it become common to say a drasha in a mourner's home?

If I understand the top of Mo'ed Kattan 23a correctly, it says that one should not say aggadah in a mourner's home. (The phrasing immediately after says that they did this after Rav Chananiah ben ...