Questions tagged [mourning-aveilus]

A halachic period of mourning after the passing of a close relative. There are many laws and customs relating to this period and those observing it.

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101 views

Is it fine for someone to do “kri-ah” for a step-daughter?

I recently walked into a shiva home for a mother who lost her daughter. For the father, this was his step-daughter. I know that he doesn't sit shiva, but I noticed that he had a torn jacket collar. ...
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58 views

Mourners prayers that we say at the funeral

Is there a place I can get the prayers that we say at a funeral online so I can print it out. It's an Ashkenazi funeral also if anyone has one with both Hebrew and English that would be amazing.
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What is typically done regarding mourning practices for those who have no relatives?

Simple question - who mourns or says Kaddish for those that die leaving no relatives to sit shiva or say Kaddish for them? I've seen a number of people in various shuls who say Kaddish for non-...
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Significance to an unveiling [duplicate]

What is the religious significance to an unveiling of the deceased's stone? (Assuming there is)
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Davening in shul vs. davening in an avel's home

Two scenarios: 1 - A person has a choice of either being the 10th person for a minyan at either a shul or a mourner's home. Where should he go? Assume that one of these 2 places count on him to form ...
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Why do we cry at shivah houses?

The Midrash in Koheles Rabbah (7:4 in the Warsaw numbering) writes (translation follows Artscroll, chapter 7, page 31): נולד אדם הכל שמחין מת הכל בוכין. ואינו כן אלא נולד אדם ואין שמחין לו שאין ...
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Washing clothing with sand .. how?

Rambam Hilchos Avel 6 (13) refers to washing with sand: ומכבס כסותו במים אבל לא בנתר ולא בחול He may wash his clothes in water, but not with soap or using sand. Is there an explanation of the ...
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Excluding others from Kaddish on Yahrtzeit

There seems to be a minhag in some of the shuls in the large Jewish community I live in which features the gabbai yelling "Yahrtzeit" near the end of davening. At that point, only the individual with ...
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249 views

Why don't we wear tallit and tefillin on Tisha B'Av morning?

I am aware that an onen (person whose close relative has died but has not yet been buried) does not wear tallit and tefillin. As I understand, during Tish'a B'Av, we are considered aveilim (mourners, ...
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53 views

What is the origin and reason for mourners to sit on the floor or low seat?

I have seen a few examples in the Torah of people ripping their clothes as a sign of mourning. But the earliest example of someone being on the floor as a sign of prayer seems to be King David's ...
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How low is low ? (Tisha bav chairs) [duplicate]

On tisha bav and during mourning Jews sit on the floor or low chairs. How low must a chair be to be permitted?
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Skipping Tachanun - Difference between Chattan vs. Avel

This M.Y. answer says that if a Chattan is in shul, tachanun is skipped. Art Scroll and Birnbaum Siddurim say that Tachanun is skipped in the house of a mourner. However, if the mourner is in shul, ...
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Why has it become common to say a drasha in a mourner's home?

If I understand the top of Mo'ed Kattan 23a correctly, it says that one should not say aggadah in a mourner's home. (The phrasing immediately after says that they did this after Rav Chananiah ben ...
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154 views

Can an Avel read from the Torah?

While someone is sitting shiva, are they allowed to be a ba'al koreh and read from the Torah, or is that considered simcha?
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For how long is Kaddish recited following the passing of a parent (for Sephardim/Mizrahim)?

According to AskMoses, The prevalent Sephardic custom, based on the teachings of the holy Arizal, is to recite the kaddish for 12 months minus one week. Just wondering where this is brought down? Can'...
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Extended Kaddish for a Non-Shomer Shabbos Jew

This website says that if one is saying Kaddish for someone who was not shomer Shabbos, one should continue to say Kaddish for 12 months instead of 11. What is the source for this practice?
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'Aninut when the body can't be released

If someone dies and their body cannot be released for burial for an extended length of time, how are aninut* and aveilut approached? This question might have some similarities to whether there is ...
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Listening to music during year of aveilut

Is one allowed to listen to music during aveilut after the shloshim for therapeutic porpuses? Is there any difference between the way ashkenazim and sephardim hold?
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135 views

why do we mourn the 24k students of Rabbi Akivah?

until lag b'omer we mourn the 24k students of Rabbi Akiva who were wiped out in a plague (Yevamot 62b). Why do we mourn this and not many other tragic events in our history (ex.pinchas affair, korach, ...
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Place of “laws of mourning” in the rambam

Maimonides' Book of Judges contains the following sections: laws of the Sanhedrin and the punishments they enforce, laws of witnesses, laws of rebels, laws of mourning, and laws of kings and their ...
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168 views

listening to a cappela during sefira?

A friend of mine told me that there is a problem with listening to a cappela during sefira. A few people mentioned a few places where it talks about it but I don't remember the places. What is the ...
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Is one allowed to listen to music for therapeutic purposes during sefira and the three weeks?

It has been scientifically proven that listening to music helps increase people's dopamine (happiness neurotransmitters) levels by as much as 9%, and as such there is such a thing as music therapy. ...
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How are albums such as AKAPella considered a capella?

AKAPella is an a cappella group that performs parodies on other artists' songs, often non-Jewish ones as of late, in a cappella for people to enjoy during sefira and the three weeks. In their albums,...
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223 views

are you allowed get music lessons during sefirah?

are you allowed to start getting music lessons which he has not had beforehand during sefirah?
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Parent/child relationship : how does adoption compare to geirus?

Take a father and daughter who both underwent geirus. Now take a Jewish man who adopted a baby girl of unknown (Jewish) parents. In both situations, the father raises the child since birth. Are the ...
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407 views

Covering pictures in the house of a mourner

There is a minhag I have heard of where in addition to covering all of the mirrors in the mourner's house they would also cover all pictures of the deceased. I have long tried to find a source for ...
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no shiva after finding out after sheloshim?

I interpret the shiva as also being a time for the mourner to psychologically process the loss of the deceased. If a mourner only learns about the deceased's passing more than 30 days after the death,...
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Did Jacob's sons do aveilut before Jacob was buried?

In viewing Breishit 50:10 it says that the group came to Goren Ha'atad and they made a seven-day mourning period for their father there. Only afterwards, does it state that they buried Jacob in the ...
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Covering the mirrors in the house of a mourner

When learning the laws of mourning in the Gemara and rishonim I don't recall the requirement to cover up the mirrors in the house of a mourner. But it does seem like a quite prevelalant practice. ...
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For how long was it customary to wear widow's garb and did Tomor follow the custom?

Tomor became a widow while Sheloh was still young Beraishis 38 (11) . Many days passed 38 (12). Tomor took off her widow's garb 38 (14) at the time that Sheloh had grown up and later put it on again ...
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274 views

Priority for multiple “chiyuvim” to be Shaliach Tzibbur

What is the priority for the following situations regarding who is Shaliach Tzibbur during a weekday (I'm excluding the possibility of various customs that exclude such people from leading services on ...
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Changes in Hilchos Aveilus due to the reaction of gentiles

I just read an article by Rabbi Yair Hoffman regarding images of woman. In the article he mentions that we have in the past changed our Minhagim in Hilchos Aveilus in concern of reaction of gentiles. ...
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Why does Yom Tov end, rather than suspend, sh'loshim?

If Yom Tov falls during the 30-day period of mourning (sh'loshim), the sh'loshim is terminated. This morning when the minyan got to the mourners' kaddish I noticed the pained expression on the face ...
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Is shiva suspended during weekday davening?

This is a hypothetical designed to investigate a subtlety of practice and understanding, not elicit a halachic ruling. I will be attending a morning shiva minyan on Monday. The mourner is a kohen and ...
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What does one say to an Onen?

After a death but before the burial, some relatives have the status of Onen. While there is a sentence we say to a mourner afterwards, Hamakom, is there any specific thing one should say to someone ...
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219 views

Can one buy or rent a vacation home during the 12 months of mourning?

This source says: During the twelve months (of mourning for a parent), it is forbidden to: purchase or rent a home, unless a significant loss would otherwise be incurred Does "home" mean a ...
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108 views

Was it customary for there to be an annual lamentation for someone's death, e.g. the daughter of Jephthah? Details as to her mourning process?

In Judges 11, the overzealous (or prideful) short-reigned judge of Israel, Jephthah, makes the rash vow to G-d that if he is victorious against the Ammorites and safely returns home, then he will ...
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Why does the shiva expression begn with term המקום? [duplicate]

Prior to leaving the shiva house, visitors say to the mourners: המקום ינחם אתכם... Meaning (literally) "The place should comfort you..." WHat is the meaning of referring to God as "the place" ...
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Is one allowed to change the torn shirt during shiva?

When I have visited someone during the shiva week, I notice that they wear a torn shirt. I know that the shirt is usually torn at the funeral home or cemetery prior to burial. I assume that the ...
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The historical significance of Rosh Chodesh Av

According to the mishna in Ta'anit (26a-b), 5 things happened on the 17th of Tammuz and 5 on Tish'a B'av. The last was that Jerusalem was plowed under: "ונחרשה העיר משנכנס אב ממעטין בשמחה " The ...
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Throwing dust on head = common mourning ritual?

In Job 2:12, when Job's friends first see Job at a distance, they "did not recognize him, and they raised their voices, and wept aloud; they tore their robes and threw dust in the air upon their heads....
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Harchakot while grieving, ch"v

If, G-d forbid, a wife learned of a terrible tragedy while a niddah, is there any possibility that her husband could hug her? To be clear, I am asking for respected sources that look at this matter ...
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What to say to someone on a yahrzeit

Is there a standard expression used to greet or comfort those who are celebrating an anniversary of mourning? (...and why is it said?) Even if not, what should one say? (...and why?) We should merit ...
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Eating in restaurants during Aveilus

Recently a friend told me that it is not proper to eat out in restaurants when one is an Aveil. I have been searching for a source that prohibits this. Does anyone know of a source prohibiting eating ...
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Minhagim of Sefirah

Most people keep only part of Sefirah (the seven-week period joining Pesach and Shavuos) as a period of semimourning: either (roughly) the first 33 days or (roughly) the last 33 days. There are ...
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If visiting the kosel before a joyous event, does one tear kriyah?

If visiting the kosel the morning of, say, one's wedding, should one tear kriyah? I am asking whether we should be in mourning for the temple even at a very joyous time. (My guess is yes, partly based ...
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254 views

Should one refrain from fun activities during sefirah?

During sefirah there is a custom to mourn the dying of R Akiva's disciples. Is the mourning restricted to the well known restrictions of not shaving and listening to music - or should one refrain ...
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132 views

Source for “Hamakom” said at shiva and variations

What is the source for the text of hamakom? In Israel I noticed that they add some words that I never heard in the States (something like"vlo yosifo lidavek?od") , what is the source for them and why ...
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558 views

“Hamakom” after shiv'a

In my experience, for the most part, "‏המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים" is said to a mourner specifically during shiv'a. However, I've heard some people say it after shiv'a, particularly ...
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232 views

Brit milah during shloshim

I understand that someone observing shloshim should not attend a seudat mitzvah. I was wondering what happens if someone observing shloshim has a baby boy who is due for a bris. Does the parent ...