Questions tagged [mourning-aveilus]

A halachic period of mourning after the passing of a close relative. There are many laws and customs relating to this period and those observing it.

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4answers
138 views

Why is a bereaved person not even allowed to make a short blessing over his food?

The condition of the “onen” (a bereaved person whose close relative who has not yet been buried) and the laws are described here. There it says: Because of the need to make and conclude the ...
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285 views

Brother saying kaddish after sheloshim

A sibling who passed away without having children but his brother takes the responsibility to say Kaddish for the eleven months. Is the brother allowed to lead prayers from the amud if he is acting ...
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1answer
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Is alav ha-shalom (A“H) used often, or do most use zikhrono livrakha (Z”L) when referring to the deceased?

I understand that A"H is translates to "may he/she rest in peace," which is indeed closer to what non-Jews say in gentile societies. However, I also understand Z"L is also an honorific for the dead, ...
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Dating when parent died

What are the laws/customs of dating/shiddichim during the first 30 days or the first year after a parent died? What if it happened to the one you are(or want to) date/ing?
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1answer
269 views

When does the Sheloshim period start?

Does the Sheloshim period start from the passing? the interment? the beginning of the shiva? If it starts from the shiva is that only if the interment already took place?
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May stones left on graves be decorated?

Like many Jews I have the minhag of placing small stones on Jewish graves I visit. (The precise roots and meaning of this custom have many explanations, but it is widespread and I am not questioning ...
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30 views

Eating olives at the house of a mourner

Eating olives at the house of a mourner is a custom among Sephardim. I think it is specifically a Morroccan custom. Is there a source or reason for this?
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37 views

is it possible to do the Kri'ah at the moment of the death, and not at the funeral? [duplicate]

is it possible to do the Kri'ah at the exact moment of the death, and not only at the funeral?
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2answers
146 views

Can a mourner attend a Torah lesson on Shabbat?

A mourner within the first seven days is forbidden to learn Torah (see e.g., here on MY). But can such a mourner (passively) attend a Torah lesson (shiur) on Shabbat? I saw this happening when a ...
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3answers
658 views

Not to learn parts of Torah until they become applicable

I was told that one should not learn the laws of Nidda (I guess including orach Chaim 240 and even hoezer 25) until engaged, and not the laws of mourning until applicable (lo alainu) Is this true? Or ...
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1answer
101 views

Aveilus and burial for kohanim and levi'im

Are there any special considerations for the tahara, burial, and/or aveilus for kohanim or levi'im who have passed away? We should live to see the days of Moshiach.
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Saying kaddish vs. Davening slower

This is the flip side of this question. Related to this. If someone has an obligation to say kaddish yatom (in this hypothetical, he is not davening for the amud and he is saying ma'ariv) should he ...
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1answer
58 views

Bikkurim 2:2 vs. Maaser Sheini 5:10

Bikkurim 2:2: יֵשׁ בְּמַעֲשֵׂר וּבִכּוּרִים מַה שֶּׁאֵין כֵּן בַּתְּרוּמָה, שֶׁהַמַּעֲשֵׂר וְהַבִּכּוּרִים טְעוּנִים הֲבָאַת מָקוֹם, וּטְעוּנִים וִדּוּי, וַאֲסוּרִין לָאוֹנֵן. רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן ...
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1answer
3k views

Leftover food from a Shiva house

slightly related to this question: according to the tradition that one should not take food from a Shiva home to eat elsewhere outside the home; does this include taking food after the shiva period ...
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1answer
110 views

Is it fine for someone to do “kri-ah” for a step-daughter?

I recently walked into a shiva home for a mother who lost her daughter. For the father, this was his step-daughter. I know that he doesn't sit shiva, but I noticed that he had a torn jacket collar. ...
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1answer
99 views

Mourners prayers that we say at the funeral

Is there a place I can get the prayers that we say at a funeral online so I can print it out. It's an Ashkenazi funeral also if anyone has one with both Hebrew and English that would be amazing.
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1answer
78 views

What is typically done regarding mourning practices for those who have no relatives?

Simple question - who mourns or says Kaddish for those that die leaving no relatives to sit shiva or say Kaddish for them? I've seen a number of people in various shuls who say Kaddish for non-...
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28 views

Significance to an unveiling [duplicate]

What is the religious significance to an unveiling of the deceased's stone? (Assuming there is)
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2answers
140 views

Davening in shul vs. davening in an avel's home

Two scenarios: 1 - A person has a choice of either being the 10th person for a minyan at either a shul or a mourner's home. Where should he go? Assume that one of these 2 places count on him to form ...
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29 views

Why do we cry at shivah houses?

The Midrash in Koheles Rabbah (7:4 in the Warsaw numbering) writes (translation follows Artscroll, chapter 7, page 31): נולד אדם הכל שמחין מת הכל בוכין. ואינו כן אלא נולד אדם ואין שמחין לו שאין ...
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1answer
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Washing clothing with sand .. how?

Rambam Hilchos Avel 6 (13) refers to washing with sand: ומכבס כסותו במים אבל לא בנתר ולא בחול He may wash his clothes in water, but not with soap or using sand. Is there an explanation of the ...
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34 views

Excluding others from Kaddish on Yahrtzeit

There seems to be a minhag in some of the shuls in the large Jewish community I live in which features the gabbai yelling "Yahrtzeit" near the end of davening. At that point, only the individual with ...
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2answers
602 views

Why don't we wear tallit and tefillin on Tisha B'Av morning?

I am aware that an onen (person whose close relative has died but has not yet been buried) does not wear tallit and tefillin. As I understand, during Tish'a B'Av, we are considered aveilim (mourners, ...
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1answer
57 views

What is the origin and reason for mourners to sit on the floor or low seat?

I have seen a few examples in the Torah of people ripping their clothes as a sign of mourning. But the earliest example of someone being on the floor as a sign of prayer seems to be King David's ...
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2answers
164 views

How low is low ? (Tisha bav chairs) [duplicate]

On tisha bav and during mourning Jews sit on the floor or low chairs. How low must a chair be to be permitted?
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2answers
82 views

Skipping Tachanun - Difference between Chattan vs. Avel

This M.Y. answer says that if a Chattan is in shul, tachanun is skipped. Art Scroll and Birnbaum Siddurim say that Tachanun is skipped in the house of a mourner. However, if the mourner is in shul, ...
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49 views

Why has it become common to say a drasha in a mourner's home?

If I understand the top of Mo'ed Kattan 23a correctly, it says that one should not say aggadah in a mourner's home. (The phrasing immediately after says that they did this after Rav Chananiah ben ...
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1answer
195 views

Can an Avel read from the Torah?

While someone is sitting shiva, are they allowed to be a ba'al koreh and read from the Torah, or is that considered simcha?
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1answer
186 views

For how long is Kaddish recited following the passing of a parent (for Sephardim/Mizrahim)?

According to AskMoses, The prevalent Sephardic custom, based on the teachings of the holy Arizal, is to recite the kaddish for 12 months minus one week. Just wondering where this is brought down? Can'...
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1answer
113 views

Extended Kaddish for a Non-Shomer Shabbos Jew

This website says that if one is saying Kaddish for someone who was not shomer Shabbos, one should continue to say Kaddish for 12 months instead of 11. What is the source for this practice?
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1answer
104 views

'Aninut when the body can't be released

If someone dies and their body cannot be released for burial for an extended length of time, how are aninut* and aveilut approached? This question might have some similarities to whether there is ...
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1answer
781 views

Listening to music during year of aveilut

Is one allowed to listen to music during aveilut after the shloshim for therapeutic porpuses? Is there any difference between the way ashkenazim and sephardim hold?
4
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1answer
154 views

why do we mourn the 24k students of Rabbi Akivah?

until lag b'omer we mourn the 24k students of Rabbi Akiva who were wiped out in a plague (Yevamot 62b). Why do we mourn this and not many other tragic events in our history (ex.pinchas affair, korach, ...
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1answer
91 views

Place of “laws of mourning” in the rambam

Maimonides' Book of Judges contains the following sections: laws of the Sanhedrin and the punishments they enforce, laws of witnesses, laws of rebels, laws of mourning, and laws of kings and their ...
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2answers
225 views

listening to a cappela during sefira?

A friend of mine told me that there is a problem with listening to a cappela during sefira. A few people mentioned a few places where it talks about it but I don't remember the places. What is the ...
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1answer
279 views

Is one allowed to listen to music for therapeutic purposes during sefira and the three weeks?

It has been scientifically proven that listening to music helps increase people's dopamine (happiness neurotransmitters) levels by as much as 9%, and as such there is such a thing as music therapy. ...
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4answers
590 views

How are albums such as AKAPella considered a capella?

AKAPella is an a cappella group that performs parodies on other artists' songs, often non-Jewish ones as of late, in a cappella for people to enjoy during sefira and the three weeks. In their albums,...
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1answer
291 views

are you allowed get music lessons during sefirah?

are you allowed to start getting music lessons which he has not had beforehand during sefirah?
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Parent/child relationship : how does adoption compare to geirus?

Take a father and daughter who both underwent geirus. Now take a Jewish man who adopted a baby girl of unknown (Jewish) parents. In both situations, the father raises the child since birth. Are the ...
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1answer
411 views

Covering pictures in the house of a mourner

There is a minhag I have heard of where in addition to covering all of the mirrors in the mourner's house they would also cover all pictures of the deceased. I have long tried to find a source for ...
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1answer
95 views

no shiva after finding out after sheloshim?

I interpret the shiva as also being a time for the mourner to psychologically process the loss of the deceased. If a mourner only learns about the deceased's passing more than 30 days after the death,...
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1answer
54 views

Did Jacob's sons do aveilut before Jacob was buried?

In viewing Breishit 50:10 it says that the group came to Goren Ha'atad and they made a seven-day mourning period for their father there. Only afterwards, does it state that they buried Jacob in the ...
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1answer
361 views

Covering the mirrors in the house of a mourner

When learning the laws of mourning in the Gemara and rishonim I don't recall the requirement to cover up the mirrors in the house of a mourner. But it does seem like a quite prevelalant practice. ...
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1answer
69 views

For how long was it customary to wear widow's garb and did Tomor follow the custom?

Tomor became a widow while Sheloh was still young Beraishis 38 (11) . Many days passed 38 (12). Tomor took off her widow's garb 38 (14) at the time that Sheloh had grown up and later put it on again ...
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1answer
338 views

Priority for multiple “chiyuvim” to be Shaliach Tzibbur

What is the priority for the following situations regarding who is Shaliach Tzibbur during a weekday (I'm excluding the possibility of various customs that exclude such people from leading services on ...
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1answer
125 views

Changes in Hilchos Aveilus due to the reaction of gentiles

I just read an article by Rabbi Yair Hoffman regarding images of woman. In the article he mentions that we have in the past changed our Minhagim in Hilchos Aveilus in concern of reaction of gentiles. ...
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2answers
201 views

Why does Yom Tov end, rather than suspend, sh'loshim?

If Yom Tov falls during the 30-day period of mourning (sh'loshim), the sh'loshim is terminated. This morning when the minyan got to the mourners' kaddish I noticed the pained expression on the face ...
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0answers
84 views

Is shiva suspended during weekday davening?

This is a hypothetical designed to investigate a subtlety of practice and understanding, not elicit a halachic ruling. I will be attending a morning shiva minyan on Monday. The mourner is a kohen and ...
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1answer
743 views

What does one say to an Onen?

After a death but before the burial, some relatives have the status of Onen. While there is a sentence we say to a mourner afterwards, Hamakom, is there any specific thing one should say to someone ...
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2answers
275 views

Can one buy or rent a vacation home during the 12 months of mourning?

This source says: During the twelve months (of mourning for a parent), it is forbidden to: purchase or rent a home, unless a significant loss would otherwise be incurred Does "home" mean a ...