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Questions tagged [mourning-aveilus]

A halachic period of mourning after the passing of a close relative. There are many laws and customs relating to this period and those observing it.

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How did Rabbi Akiva start again after losing 24,000 students?

Where did Rebbi Akiva find the inspiration to pick himself up and teach students again after losing 24,000 students?
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What halachos of mourning apply to a grandchild for his grandparent's death?

What halachos of mourning, if any, apply to a grandchild upon his or her grandparent's death? Do they tear keri'ah upon hearing of the grandparent's death? Do they sit shivah?
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Which mourning laws does an Ashkenazi son follow after his Sefardi mother's death?

An Ashkenazi son (his father was a Yekke) who mourns after his Sefardi mother - does he follow Ashkenazi Minhagim of Avelut (Kaddish for 11 months exactly for example) of Sefardi?
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listening to a cappela during sefira?

A friend of mine told me that there is a problem with listening to a cappela during sefira. A few people mentioned a few places where it talks about it but I don't remember the places. What is the ...
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Dancing on Yom Haatzmaus

One is not allowed to dance during the mourning days of s'firas haomer (Mishna B'rura 493:3). According to all major customs, Yom Haatzmaus (Israel's independence day) falls during the mourning days (...
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Proper day and time for a Shloshim Seuda

Per Chabad.org: "Traditionally, families gather on the eve of the Shloshim to share support, recite prayers and Psalms, and to give charity in the merit of the deceased. Many will also make a Siyum, ...
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Prohibition to Wear Freshly Laundered Clothes in the 9 days

Normally is customary to avoid wearing freshly laundered clothes during the 9 days. Does this apply these days when freshly laundered clothes are no longer exciting and new? Perhaps the parallel today ...
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Breaking an Omer restriction

In a hypothetical case, I have chosen to observe the restrictions of the Omer during the "first half." But then, I am placed in a situation at which happy live music is being played. Does my presence ...
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Movies and music during the 3 weeks according to Rav Soloveitchik

The Rav compares the 3 weeks to the twelve months of mourning, and following that comparison he permits shaving during the 3 weeks (but not the 9 days) but forbids large social gatherings. What does ...
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God's Nichum Aveilim

Asking for a friend: On Kiddushin 38a, Tosfos s.v. Tzei, explain that Hashem didn't approach Yehoshua until after the 30 days of mourning for Moshe had elapsed, since the Shechinah does not descend ...
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How obligated is one to say Kaddish for a deceased relative?

People often talk about an obligation -- Chiyuv -- to recite Kaddish at every opportunity for some time after the death of a relative. (Which relatives are obligated and for how long does not seem ...
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Kaddish for children

I heard some rabbanim say that if a baby or child is over the age of 30 days, one should say kaddish for him for a year (11 months) while I have heard others say that 11 months is only for a parent ...
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Listening to music during year of aveilut

Is one allowed to listen to music during aveilut after the shloshim for therapeutic porpuses? Is there any difference between the way ashkenazim and sephardim hold?
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Changes in Hilchos Aveilus due to the reaction of gentiles

I just read an article by Rabbi Yair Hoffman regarding images of woman. In the article he mentions that we have in the past changed our Minhagim in Hilchos Aveilus in concern of reaction of gentiles. ...
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Yahrzeit plaque in shul for cremated relatives

Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah) 345:5 states: Those who deviate from the ways of the community, i.e. people who have thrown off the responsibility of mitzvoth from their shoulders, and are not included in ...
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Washing clothing with sand .. how?

Rambam Hilchos Avel 6 (13) refers to washing with sand: ומכבס כסותו במים אבל לא בנתר ולא בחול He may wash his clothes in water, but not with soap or using sand. Is there an explanation of the ...
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What is typically done regarding mourning practices for those who have no relatives?

Simple question - who mourns or says Kaddish for those that die leaving no relatives to sit shiva or say Kaddish for them? I've seen a number of people in various shuls who say Kaddish for non-...
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How to conjugate “their resting place(s)” in Kel Malei Rachamim?

The memorial prayer Kel Malei Rachamim concludes "may they rest in peace in their resting place[s], and let us say Amen." Okay, how to say "resting place[s]." Mishkavam? Mishkaveihem? Mishkevoseihem? ...
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'Aninut when the body can't be released

If someone dies and their body cannot be released for burial for an extended length of time, how are aninut* and aveilut approached? This question might have some similarities to whether there is ...
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1answer
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Is a Jew allowed to visit a Christian cemetery?

If a Jew wishes to visit a grave at a Christian cemetery (say the grave of a patrilineal grandparent), is it permissible? Does it matter if it is a mostly unadorned cemetery vs. one with pictures of ...
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How to comfort someone who has lost his non-Jewish parent

I came across a (Facebook) post the other day in which an acquaintance announced he had lost his non-Jewish father. The individual is not a convert; his mother had intermarried. The funeral will not ...
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Preparing a grave before death

Is it against Halacha to prepare a grave before someone who passed away i.e. that the doctors and family know that the person is going to pass away but don’t know when so they make preparations. ...
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Should tachanun be said in a mourner's shtiebl?

Many shtiebls are set up as shuls that are part of someone's home. This raises the question as to what is considered a "mourner's home" with regard to saying tachanun. Background: Tachanun is not ...
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Kaddish not being said correctly

Should one respond to a Kaddish that a mourner is not pronouncing the words properly? I don’t know if this question has been asked before, but I found something similar - Is there such a thing as a ...
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To say Kaddish at the cemetery after burial, do the mourners count as part of the minyan?

I understand that onenim cannot be counted as part of the minyan. Thus, at the cemetery, when saying the Kaddish can they be counted as part of the minyan or do we need 10 others besides them?
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Should I rend k'riyah if I witness the death of a non-relative? If so, what's the procedure?

In another question, Chalutznahal cites Yoreh De'ah 340:5, which says that when I witness a fellow Jew die, I must rend my shirt out of sadness. And British Rabbi Dr. Moshe Freedman brings this down ...
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Must EMTs and others rend Kriyah each time they see a patient die?

I was looking at Yoreh De'ah 340:5 (יו"ד סימן ש"מ ס"ק ה) and Moed Katan 25b (כה עמוד ב), which require Kriyah (garment-rending) for all who are there at the time of death. It would seem to me that an ...
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Mourning the death of an infant

If an infant only survives for one day Rachmana litzlan, do the parents have to sit shiva or say kaddish?
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Don't pass bread hand to hand: whose hand?

Shulchan Aruch (OC 167:18) says (in my own translation): The one who slices the loaf of bread places a slice before each person. The individual then takes the slice with his hand. The one who ...
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Mourners by Kabbalat Shabbat

Is there a source that says that someone has to be with a mourner at all times from when he is asked to leave the shul before Lechu Neranena. As I understand the shamash/ warden asks him to leave and ...
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Are Tzitzis obligated in Tzitzis

According to the Rosh (Moed Katan 3:43), a garment worn solely to absorb sweat is not considered a בגד (with regard to the obligation of מצות קריעה - mournful rending). This principle is invoked by ...
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How Avelut is healing, according to Rambam?

The Rambam in Moreh Nevuchim (Chelek 3 Chapter 41) explains that mourning a deceased relative actually heals the great pain an Avel may have: " For mourners find comfort in crying and in excitement ...
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What does it mean for a mourner to “have a chiuv”?

I have noticed that in many synagogues, before davening, the gabbai customarily asks if anybody "has a chiuv". If there is anybody with a chiuv, he is asked to daven from the amud. The people who ...
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Keria at the Wailing Wall

I believe the Halacha is that you're supposed to tear your clothes when seeing the Wailing Wall, just as one does when 'sitting Shiva'. Why don't most people?
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Heter to call a mourner to the Torah on a weekday in the first week of his aveilus

A mourner in the first week of his aveilus was unable to pray at home and went to synagogue on a weekday where he was the only Kohen (or Levi). Normally a mourner does not get called up to the Torah....
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Welcoming the Mourner in on Friday Night

On Friday night, a mourner, during the first 7 days, a mourner enters shul right before the recitation of Psalm 92 (Mizmor shir l'yom hashabbat). A mourner enters the synagogue on Friday evening ...
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Avelut: Bereavement in Judaism - Where does the word come from

Bereavement in Judaism is often called "Avelut" or in singular form: "Avel". (Hebrew: אֲבֵלוּת). What does this word literally mean? WHere does it come from?
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Why doesn't our decrease of joy extend beyond Tish'a B'Av?

Citing from here There is a famous Mishnah that is cited towards the end of Masechet Ta’anit (4:6) that states: “Mishenichnas Av, Mema’atin Besimcha” “When the month of Av arrives, we ...
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Tefillin at chatzos on Tisha BAv

The general practice is to not wear tefillin in the morning on Tisha BAv (OC 555:1). However, after chatzos many of the mourning practices which are only customs are lifted. As such, people wear ...
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Would an avel who visits the Kotel need to do an extra tearing?

In the back of a siddur, I saw one of the halachot state that one who has not visited the Kotel ("Western Wall" in Jerusalem) within 30 days should tear his clothes when he comes to the Kotel. Let's ...
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Why don't we wear tallit and tefillin on Tisha B'Av morning?

I am aware that an onen (person whose close relative has died but has not yet been buried) does not wear tallit and tefillin. As I understand, during Tish'a B'Av, we are considered aveilim (mourners, ...
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If someone sends an Aveil (certain types of) Mishloach Manot, is the sender Yotzei?

As a follow up to this question, if someone intentionally sends an aveil (within a year after the loss of a parent) mishloach manot which include "tafnukim", is the sender considered as having ...
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What sad/terrible events actually took place on the 9th of Av?

I have heard that Tish'a B'av is a date on which many bad things happened to the Jewish people, and that is why we mourn on that day. What are they? (Sources please...)
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Source that Tisha B'av is the day of mourning for all tragedies, even if they did not fall out then?

I have heard (in the context of when Jews should mourn for those lost in the Holocaust), that Tish'a B'av is the day on which we mourn all tragedies, even those that did not occur on that day. What ...
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Taking a Shower during the Nine-Days

What are the parameters for taking a shower during the 9-day period between Rosh Chodesh Av and Tisha Bav? Namely: When is one allowed to? When doing so what water temperature should it be set on? ...
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Wishes to a mourner in addition to “Hamokom Yenachem Eschem”

I have heard some people say in Yiddish after "Hamokom Yenachem Eschem B'Soch Shaar Aveilei Tzion V'Yerushalayim" ("May God comfort you alongside the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem"), "Zulst Mer Nisht ...
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Why sprinkle on the third day?

Parshat Chukat describes the purifying ritual of the red heifer and records that one is impure for 7 days, but the process requires that one sprinkle on the third and seventh day. Aside from one ...
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1answer
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Is one allowed to attend a wake for a Jew?

As far as I understand, Jews are not allowed to have a wake for a Jewish person. But, let's say for some reason, they do it, anyway. Is a Jew allowed to attend this event if s/he doesn't view the ...
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1answer
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Is an Onein Patur from EVERY positive mitzvah?

After the death of a close relative, a person enters the state of aninut, during which he is exempt from a variety of mitzvot. It seems (from the limited write ups which I have read) that this ...
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Switching back to a seat in Aveilut

There is a practice for a mourner to change his seat in Shul -- there are many different opinions about when and how. If, during the period of mourning, the mourner suffers another loss, so he ...