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Questions tagged [mourning-aveilus]

A halachic period of mourning after the passing of a close relative. There are many laws and customs relating to this period and those observing it.

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Sefirat HaOmer Mourning in Nissan [duplicate]

How is it permissible for widespread customs of mourning in remembrance of R. Akiva’s students (ie no marriages, no hair cutting, no listening to music, no buying new clothes) to take place during ...
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Yahrzeit plaque in shul for cremated relatives

Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah) 345:5 states: Those who deviate from the ways of the community, i.e. people who have thrown off the responsibility of mitzvoth from their shoulders, and are not included in ...
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How to comfort someone who has lost his non-Jewish parent

I came across a (Facebook) post the other day in which an acquaintance announced he had lost his non-Jewish father. The individual is not a convert; his mother had intermarried. The funeral will not ...
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To say Kaddish at the cemetery after burial, do the mourners count as part of the minyan?

I understand that onenim cannot be counted as part of the minyan. Thus, at the cemetery, when saying the Kaddish can they be counted as part of the minyan or do we need 10 others besides them?
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Kaddish not being said correctly

Should one respond to a Kaddish that a mourner is not pronouncing the words properly? I don’t know if this question has been asked before, but I found something similar - Is there such a thing as a ...
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Should tachanun be said in a mourner's shtiebl?

Many shtiebls are set up as shuls that are part of someone's home. This raises the question as to what is considered a "mourner's home" with regard to saying tachanun. Background: Tachanun is not ...
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Mourning the death of an infant

If an infant only survives for one day Rachmana litzlan, do the parents have to sit shiva or say kaddish?
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Preparing a grave before death

Is it against Halacha to prepare a grave before someone who passed away i.e. that the doctors and family know that the person is going to pass away but don’t know when so they make preparations. ...
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Mourners by Kabbalat Shabbat

Is there a source that says that someone has to be with a mourner at all times from when he is asked to leave the shul before Lechu Neranena. As I understand the shamash/ warden asks him to leave and ...
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How Avelut is healing, according to Rambam?

The Rambam in Moreh Nevuchim (Chelek 3 Chapter 41) explains that mourning a deceased relative actually heals the great pain an Avel may have: " For mourners find comfort in crying and in excitement ...
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Heter to call a mourner to the Torah on a weekday in the first week of his aveilus

A mourner in the first week of his aveilus was unable to pray at home and went to synagogue on a weekday where he was the only Kohen (or Levi). Normally a mourner does not get called up to the Torah....
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Are Tzitzis obligated in Tzitzis

According to the Rosh (Moed Katan 3:43), a garment worn solely to absorb sweat is not considered a בגד (with regard to the obligation of מצות קריעה - mournful rending). This principle is invoked by ...
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Avelut: Bereavement in Judaism - Where does the word come from

Bereavement in Judaism is often called "Avelut" or in singular form: "Avel". (Hebrew: אֲבֵלוּת). What does this word literally mean? WHere does it come from?
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Welcoming the Mourner in on Friday Night

On Friday night, a mourner, during the first 7 days, a mourner enters shul right before the recitation of Psalm 92 (Mizmor shir l'yom hashabbat). A mourner enters the synagogue on Friday evening ...
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Why doesn't our decrease of joy extend beyond Tish'a B'Av?

Citing from here There is a famous Mishnah that is cited towards the end of Masechet Ta’anit (4:6) that states: “Mishenichnas Av, Mema’atin Besimcha” “When the month of Av arrives, we ...
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Would an avel who visits the Kotel need to do an extra tearing?

In the back of a siddur, I saw one of the halachot state that one who has not visited the Kotel ("Western Wall" in Jerusalem) within 30 days should tear his clothes when he comes to the Kotel. Let's ...
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Tefillin at chatzos on Tisha BAv

The general practice is to not wear tefillin in the morning on Tisha BAv (OC 555:1). However, after chatzos many of the mourning practices which are only customs are lifted. As such, people wear ...
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If someone sends an Aveil (certain types of) Mishloach Manot, is the sender Yotzei?

As a follow up to this question, if someone intentionally sends an aveil (within a year after the loss of a parent) mishloach manot which include "tafnukim", is the sender considered as having ...
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Source that Tisha B'av is the day of mourning for all tragedies, even if they did not fall out then?

I have heard (in the context of when Jews should mourn for those lost in the Holocaust), that Tish'a B'av is the day on which we mourn all tragedies, even those that did not occur on that day. What ...
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What sad/terrible events actually took place on the 9th of Av?

I have heard that Tish'a B'av is a date on which many bad things happened to the Jewish people, and that is why we mourn on that day. What are they? (Sources please...)
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Why sprinkle on the third day?

Parshat Chukat describes the purifying ritual of the red heifer and records that one is impure for 7 days, but the process requires that one sprinkle on the third and seventh day. Aside from one ...
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Is one allowed to attend a wake for a Jew?

As far as I understand, Jews are not allowed to have a wake for a Jewish person. But, let's say for some reason, they do it, anyway. Is a Jew allowed to attend this event if s/he doesn't view the ...
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Switching back to a seat in Aveilut

There is a practice for a mourner to change his seat in Shul -- there are many different opinions about when and how. If, during the period of mourning, the mourner suffers another loss, so he ...
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Buying Second Hand Clothing in aveilut

During Shloshim (and 12 months in the case of a death of a parent) one should not buy (though some specify "wear") "new" clothing (according to the summary of laws I have from my rabbi). Does this ...
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Is an Onein Patur from EVERY positive mitzvah?

After the death of a close relative, a person enters the state of aninut, during which he is exempt from a variety of mitzvot. It seems (from the limited write ups which I have read) that this ...
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Hava Amina for Kohen not becoming impure for father

The Midrash questions why the Torah has to specify that a Kohen becomes impure both for his deceased father and deceased mother. Why not just write his mother? It says: [ד] יאמר "לאמו", מה תלמוד ...
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Why is a bereaved person not even allowed to make a short blessing over his food?

The condition of the “onen” (a bereaved person whose close relative who has not yet been buried) and the laws are described here. There it says: Because of the need to make and conclude the ...
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Brother saying kaddish after sheloshim

A sibling who passed away without having children but his brother takes the responsibility to say Kaddish for the eleven months. Is the brother allowed to lead prayers from the amud if he is acting ...
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Is alav ha-shalom (A“H) used often, or do most use zikhrono livrakha (Z”L) when referring to the deceased?

I understand that A"H is translates to "may he/she rest in peace," which is indeed closer to what non-Jews say in gentile societies. However, I also understand Z"L is also an honorific for the dead, ...
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Dating when parent died

What are the laws/customs of dating/shiddichim during the first 30 days or the first year after a parent died? What if it happened to the one you are(or want to) date/ing?
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When does the Sheloshim period start?

Does the Sheloshim period start from the passing? the interment? the beginning of the shiva? If it starts from the shiva is that only if the interment already took place?
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May stones left on graves be decorated?

Like many Jews I have the minhag of placing small stones on Jewish graves I visit. (The precise roots and meaning of this custom have many explanations, but it is widespread and I am not questioning ...
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Eating olives at the house of a mourner

Eating olives at the house of a mourner is a custom among Sephardim. I think it is specifically a Morroccan custom. Is there a source or reason for this?
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is it possible to do the Kri'ah at the moment of the death, and not at the funeral? [duplicate]

is it possible to do the Kri'ah at the exact moment of the death, and not only at the funeral?
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Can a mourner attend a Torah lesson on Shabbat?

A mourner within the first seven days is forbidden to learn Torah (see e.g., here on MY). But can such a mourner (passively) attend a Torah lesson (shiur) on Shabbat? I saw this happening when a ...
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Not to learn parts of Torah until they become applicable

I was told that one should not learn the laws of Nidda (I guess including orach Chaim 240 and even hoezer 25) until engaged, and not the laws of mourning until applicable (lo alainu) Is this true? Or ...
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Aveilus and burial for kohanim and levi'im

Are there any special considerations for the tahara, burial, and/or aveilus for kohanim or levi'im who have passed away? We should live to see the days of Moshiach.
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Saying kaddish vs. Davening slower

This is the flip side of this question. Related to this. If someone has an obligation to say kaddish yatom (in this hypothetical, he is not davening for the amud and he is saying ma'ariv) should he ...
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Bikkurim 2:2 vs. Maaser Sheini 5:10

Bikkurim 2:2: יֵשׁ בְּמַעֲשֵׂר וּבִכּוּרִים מַה שֶּׁאֵין כֵּן בַּתְּרוּמָה, שֶׁהַמַּעֲשֵׂר וְהַבִּכּוּרִים טְעוּנִים הֲבָאַת מָקוֹם, וּטְעוּנִים וִדּוּי, וַאֲסוּרִין לָאוֹנֵן. רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן ...
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Leftover food from a Shiva house

slightly related to this question: according to the tradition that one should not take food from a Shiva home to eat elsewhere outside the home; does this include taking food after the shiva period ...
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Is it fine for someone to do “kri-ah” for a step-daughter?

I recently walked into a shiva home for a mother who lost her daughter. For the father, this was his step-daughter. I know that he doesn't sit shiva, but I noticed that he had a torn jacket collar. ...
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Mourners prayers that we say at the funeral

Is there a place I can get the prayers that we say at a funeral online so I can print it out. It's an Ashkenazi funeral also if anyone has one with both Hebrew and English that would be amazing.
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What is typically done regarding mourning practices for those who have no relatives?

Simple question - who mourns or says Kaddish for those that die leaving no relatives to sit shiva or say Kaddish for them? I've seen a number of people in various shuls who say Kaddish for non-...
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Significance to an unveiling [duplicate]

What is the religious significance to an unveiling of the deceased's stone? (Assuming there is)
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Davening in shul vs. davening in an avel's home

Two scenarios: 1 - A person has a choice of either being the 10th person for a minyan at either a shul or a mourner's home. Where should he go? Assume that one of these 2 places count on him to form ...
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Why do we cry at shivah houses?

The Midrash in Koheles Rabbah (7:4 in the Warsaw numbering) writes (translation follows Artscroll, chapter 7, page 31): נולד אדם הכל שמחין מת הכל בוכין. ואינו כן אלא נולד אדם ואין שמחין לו שאין ...
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Washing clothing with sand .. how?

Rambam Hilchos Avel 6 (13) refers to washing with sand: ומכבס כסותו במים אבל לא בנתר ולא בחול He may wash his clothes in water, but not with soap or using sand. Is there an explanation of the ...
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Excluding others from Kaddish on Yahrtzeit

There seems to be a minhag in some of the shuls in the large Jewish community I live in which features the gabbai yelling "Yahrtzeit" near the end of davening. At that point, only the individual with ...
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Why don't we wear tallit and tefillin on Tisha B'Av morning?

I am aware that an onen (person whose close relative has died but has not yet been buried) does not wear tallit and tefillin. As I understand, during Tish'a B'Av, we are considered aveilim (mourners, ...
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What is the origin and reason for mourners to sit on the floor or low seat?

I have seen a few examples in the Torah of people ripping their clothes as a sign of mourning. But the earliest example of someone being on the floor as a sign of prayer seems to be King David's ...