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Questions tagged [middos-character-traits]

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Should we thank AI?

There are sources1,2 that say that Moshe was commanded to not hit the Nile to initiate the plague of blood, or the sand to initiate the plague of lice, because he had benefited from them (and ...
Rabbi Kaii's user avatar
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5 votes
1 answer
352 views

Vilna Gaon - Torah can bring you up or bring you down

Does anyone know the source of the Vilna Gaon talking about Torah and saying that it can either be used for the good or for the bad, it depends on one’s midot. He said that Torah is like rain. If you ...
Shtika K'hodaah's user avatar
2 votes
0 answers
50 views

The Propriety of Ralbag's Benefits: Pshat v. Drash?

The Ralbag famously includes lists of lessons/benefits after sections of Tanach. FE, at the beginning of his Esther benefits: התועלה הראשון הוא במדות. והוא שראוי לשמוח בטוב בהימצאו, כאומרו "ביום ...
GratefulD's user avatar
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7 votes
2 answers
129 views

Understanding an apparent dichotomy in Rabbi Akiva's pre-Yeshiva days

The Gemara in Shabbos 127b relates a story about the importance of being dan l'chaf zechus, judging people favourably / giving others the benefit of the doubt. The story goes that a man left from the ...
Dov's user avatar
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0 votes
1 answer
39 views

Avraham's Greatness in Holy Middot

Where precisely did Avraham get the greatness he had? Specifically how did a baal teshuva with an idol worshipping father become a man who only was able to see his wife's spiritual femininity and ...
Rabbi Kaii's user avatar
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1 vote
1 answer
94 views

Caution against a person belittling himself

BH I heard someone say that a person should never say "I am this [negative character trait]" or "I am that [negative character trait]" because Chas ve Shalom Hashem can bring that ...
David 's user avatar
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1 vote
1 answer
96 views

Lashon Harah about a bully

If somebody is intentionally rude or mean to you, you explain they are being rude, and they continue, are you allowed to speak lashon Harah about them to someone close? For example, you are being ...
Kirk's user avatar
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0 votes
0 answers
54 views

Looking for online resources to learn about the Midot

I want to work on my middot. I'm already learning Mussar and am now in search of the teachings of pinimiut referencing the 13 Attributes and also the characteristics that reside within, namely 7 ...
JSarai's user avatar
  • 191
2 votes
1 answer
169 views

Do you know the source of this phrase Ne'elavim V'ainam Olvim

This is often quoted in stories. When insulted keep quiet and daven for someone who needs a yeshua. Can you find me this source?
Shoshana's user avatar
0 votes
1 answer
262 views

Full explanation of the 49 Sefirot combinations?

I am looking for a good source that explains the 49 middot-sefirot combinations. Especially as they manifest as emotions, and ideally explained from "chametz" to "matza", i.e. the ...
Rabbi Kaii's user avatar
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2 votes
0 answers
47 views

Is it a Mitzvah to tell a fellow Jew “have a wonderful day”?

Is it considered a Mitzvah/Chesed to tell a fellow Jew to have a great day? It sounds like a simple thing, but I thought it would be included under Viohavta Lireiacha Kamocha, no?
Raphael Chilungu's user avatar
1 vote
2 answers
120 views

Who has the Right of way?

I was taught that the person going into shul gets right of way. (And not the person exiting) And that a person carrying a sefer also has the right of way Looking for the source of these halachos, (...
hazoriz's user avatar
  • 7,546
1 vote
0 answers
72 views

Does Onaas Devarim apply to non-Jews?

I know that it is a serious aveirah to hurt a Jew's feelings. But is it an aveirah to hurt a non-Jew's feelings as well?
Raphael Chilungu's user avatar
5 votes
6 answers
518 views

Halachot of לֵיצָנוּת: cynicism, scoffing and mockery

I know from general knowledge that לֵיצָנוּת is forbidden. It is generally translated as being cynical, scoffing or mocking. I have also seen discussion in various mussar and hashkafic works but I ...
Rabbi Kaii's user avatar
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0 votes
0 answers
56 views

Accepting blame for someone else?

This is connected to my other question about malicious compliance, but a bit different. Imagine something goes wrong, and for whatever reason the blame falls on you even though it wasn't you, but you ...
Rabbi Kaii's user avatar
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3 votes
3 answers
747 views

Is there a master list(s) of Middot?

I am looking to find a master list of Middot. I suspect different texts have different lists: ie Cheshbon Ha Nefesh has one list and maybe other sefarim have other lists. At this stage of my research ...
refaelm's user avatar
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2 votes
2 answers
68 views

Looking for mussar on overcoming recklessness

Shalom. I have a terrible habit of behaving recklessly. I was wondering if anyone had any good mussar - from personal experience or from sources - that would help one overcome this bad character trait....
Tom W's user avatar
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6 votes
3 answers
869 views

Good book(s) on conquering anger?

Looking for an English book based on Torah ideals, that helps quell the bad midda of anger. The book can be specific to anger but can also be a book on how to better all of your middot. Note: this ...
user's user avatar
  • 859
5 votes
1 answer
133 views

Good qualities of deceased now available for others to practise. Is there a source?

I have heard several times at Hespedim (funeral orations) that the good qualities of the person who passed away are now available to be picked up by those of us still alive. In the sense that the dead ...
Avrohom Yitzchok's user avatar
3 votes
0 answers
29 views

Stiff-necked people from Yaakov's neck becoming stiff?

Is there any connection between the Jews being called stiff-necked (Exodus 32.9) and the encounter of Yaakov and Esav, when the Medresh says Yaakov's neck became stiff (Bereishis Rabbah 78.9)? Are ...
Moshe's user avatar
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0 votes
0 answers
52 views

Do shedim receive schar?

Given that shedim can either do good or bad and are intelligent, speaking creations in this world, can they be punished and rewarded? Do they have mitzvos? Will they exist in olam haba?
Ben Weissman's user avatar
-1 votes
2 answers
72 views

Why deception seems intrinsic to Terah's descendants?

The last couple of Parashot dealt with members of Abraham's family, both Abraham and Nachor's descendants. As far as I can see, many of them, both righteous and wicked, were liers: it starts with ...
Al Berko's user avatar
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3 votes
0 answers
72 views

Was Moses really angry or pretending?

The Rambam said in his Mishneh Torah that it's sometimes useful to act angry: If one desires to instill reverence in his children and his household, or in public if he is the head of a community, and ...
Maurice Mizrahi's user avatar
3 votes
1 answer
331 views

Why does Yitzchak's name mean to laugh if he represents gevurah?

Why does Yitzchak's name mean to laugh if he represents gevurah? Gevurah is something that is restrained and hold back. And laughter is something which breaks out of the chains and feels more free.
Russell's user avatar
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2 votes
0 answers
28 views

Is good middot ldavka bo?

On one hand having good middot is the Mitzva of holachta bdrachav. And the mitzvah of ledavka bo is to connect to Talmidai chachomim But I see that ledavka bo is also explained as having good middot (...
hazoriz's user avatar
  • 7,546
3 votes
1 answer
47 views

Does definition of Nichush cover Middos based behavior?

The Gemmorah (on Gen 24) considers Eliezer's approach to choosing a wife a [forbidden] Nichush. IIRC it was based on a girl's special [and seemingly rare] virtues and not blind chance. If I was truly ...
Al Berko's user avatar
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0 votes
0 answers
33 views

Does G-d have expiration on His tolerance?

וַיֹּאמֶר ה' אֶל־מֹשֶׁה עַד־אָנָה יְנַאֲצֻנִי הָעָם הַזֶּה וְעַד־אָנָה לֹא־יַאֲמִינוּ בִי בְּכֹל הָאֹתוֹת אֲשֶׁר עָשִׂיתִי בְּקִרְבּוֹ׃ And the LORD said to Moses, “How long will this people ...
Al Berko's user avatar
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3 votes
6 answers
533 views

Book on changing habits and middot (character traits) improvement?

There is now an increasing body of secular literature on how changing habits can help change character (e.g., The Power of Habit, Atomic Habits) but this is not new to us (see Rambam's Hilchot Deot 1:...
mbloch's user avatar
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3 votes
1 answer
862 views

Reciting the blessing of "Meshaneh Habriyos" ("who makes creatures different") on human beings

Based off the gemara on Berachos 58b, the Shulchan Aruch in Orach Chaim 225:8-9 writes: for seeing a person with a dark, very red, or albino white complexion- or a person who is bent over because ...
alicht's user avatar
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1 vote
1 answer
88 views

Transmitting bad traits

IIRC, there was a statement made that a person who fixes their bad trait before their child is born, will not pass that trait along to their child. I'm trying to locate this, but I'm not having any ...
user6591's user avatar
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2 votes
2 answers
224 views

Can there be too much chesed?

On one hand we are taught that it is good to do Chesed (to do what someone asks you to do (as Rivka did)), on the other hand to be a sucker (frier) (to do everything you're asked to do, especially ...
hazoriz's user avatar
  • 7,546
1 vote
4 answers
546 views

Talk to me about din

We always hear about din vs. rachamim, which got me thinking: If rachamim is made up of chesed and gevurah, then what are the components of din? I find it interesting or else inexplicable that the ...
SAH's user avatar
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5 votes
1 answer
287 views

Keeping your own community's dinim vs. yuhara

My chosen community--like every community, I suppose--has its own body of distinctive minhagim, horaos, chumras, hiddurim, and normative halachas. All, including the hiddurim, are observed with a high ...
SAH's user avatar
  • 20k
6 votes
1 answer
1k views

Why we have two ears vs. one mouth?

A Rebbi told us in the name of the Vilna Gaon that we have two ears and one mouth because we should spend more time listening than talking. (Sounds like Epictetus', "We have two ears and one mouth so ...
NJM's user avatar
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8 votes
5 answers
3k views

Someone in authority apologizes?

I am looking for examples where someone in authority apologizes to someone lower than him. I am specifically looking for examples where we know that the authority figure is someone to emulate (eg. the ...
hazoriz's user avatar
  • 7,546
1 vote
1 answer
97 views

mitzvos and middos

i heard the idea that mitzvos are to improves character what is/are the source/s for this? do others argue? what i found is in the name of the Ramban here and here but were it the original Ramban? ...
hazoriz's user avatar
  • 7,546
5 votes
3 answers
241 views

Yishmael is the corruption of chesed

I once heard the following idea, and I'm wondering what is the source for it. Avraham was the pillar of chesed. His son Yishmael was rejected as being part of the Jewish people. Chazal say that ...
robev's user avatar
  • 19.9k
3 votes
1 answer
152 views

it is for forbidden to do something good for someone who does not acknowledge the good

"it is for forbidden to do something good for someone who does not acknowledge the good" is this true? what is the source of this? who else holds like this? at this site it says: Maharal explains ...
hazoriz's user avatar
  • 7,546
4 votes
0 answers
118 views

Source for Arizal’s teaching

I’m reading a book by Rabbi Shlomo Arush and he says the following: "According to our master, the Arizal, whoever wants to receive the light of Ein Sof in its entirety has to change its own nature ...
Yehonathan's user avatar
6 votes
0 answers
117 views

Why isn't imitating Hashem's traits a constant mitzvah?

In the introduction to Sefer HaChinuch, the author delineates what he feels are six constant mitzvos from the 613. מששה מצות מהן שחיובן תמידי לא יפסק מעל האדם אפי' רגע בכל ימיו. ואלו הם. א' להאמין ...
robev's user avatar
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3 votes
1 answer
79 views

introversion and extroversion in Judaism

Is there anywhere in the Torah literature that discusses introversion and extroversion as being positive and/or negative traits? Is one preferred over the other?
Jew-Duh's user avatar
  • 209
1 vote
0 answers
56 views

minimum honoring others

chazal tell us 24,000 students of Rabbi Akiva were wiped out in a plague due to not giving honor to each other. (Yevamot 62b) אמרו שנים עשר אלף זוגים תלמידים היו לו לרבי עקיבא מגבת עד אנטיפרס וכולן ...
ray's user avatar
  • 21.4k
5 votes
1 answer
418 views

Flattery vs Being Nice

Flattery is forbidden talmud: Rabbi Elazar says: Any person who has flattery in him brings wrath to the world, as it is stated: “But those with flattery in their hearts bring about wrath” (Job 36:...
hazoriz's user avatar
  • 7,546
7 votes
1 answer
285 views

A good maggid shiur who goes through an entire sefer of hashkafa

I have gone through the Mesilas Yesharim superficially once, I am now learning Likutei Amarim (Tanya) and The Kuzari. I have listened to shiurim on Chovos Halevavos, and Alei Shur. I have dipped my ...
Shmuel's user avatar
  • 149
1 vote
3 answers
270 views

Is there an issue of arrogance to wear Tfilin Rabenu Tam

I have been putting on tefilin shel Rashi for many years and a friend recently said I should start putting on Tefilin Rabenu Tam as well. The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch says that only the especially pious ...
Danny Lieberman's user avatar
2 votes
0 answers
205 views

"Kofin al midas Sedom" - what are the parameters of this concept?

The gemara in Bava Basra 12 discusses the splitting of a field in an equitable manner such that one of the individuals receives an additional personal benefit due to some external circumstance (having ...
Isaac Kotlicky's user avatar
7 votes
2 answers
299 views

Mah hu af atah parameters

The Gemara (Shabbos 133b) brings down the mitzvah of emulating Hashem (derived from Shemos 15:2). Just as He is merciful, so should you be, for instance (mah hu rachum af atah rachum). Sotah 14a ...
DonielF's user avatar
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0 votes
0 answers
103 views

In Judaism is there an idea that women are more grounded

Does Judaism see Jewish woman as more down to earth, regarding money (their support) more in a more physical way then men (the supporters), clearing about their support more then religious questions? ...
hazoriz's user avatar
  • 7,546
-2 votes
2 answers
242 views

Should a man be humble before his woman (wife/date)? or should he boast?

I understand that it is good for Jews to be humble and not boastful But are there times that it is not good? Specifically is it good to be humble (avoid boasting) before your woman (wife/date)? ...
hazoriz's user avatar
  • 7,546
0 votes
1 answer
114 views

What is the difference between anger and hatred in Judaism

I see Kitsur Shulchan aruch 29.4,13 Regarding anger and hatred. What is the difference? Is anger the expression of hatred? Sources please.
hazoriz's user avatar
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