Questions tagged [kibbud-av-veim-honoring]

Honor thy Father and Mother

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2
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3answers
145 views

Kabed et Avicha v'et imecha vs Being one of the first ten for a minyan

We know that the first ten people who make up a minyan get schar for every person who attends that minyan. So what happens if a person and their father come to shul and see that there are 9 people. ...
2
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0answers
47 views

Am I obligated to “honour [my] mother” (if she became a needy widow and) if she had given me up? [duplicate]

Am I obligated to "honour [my] mother" (if she became a needy widow and) if she had given me up? If someone was given up by his or her own mother (as in the quote below), is one obligated to "honour ...
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0answers
123 views

Esau, Edom, Rome and the Jews

In parshat Devarim, Hashem tells the Israelites to leave the Edomites alone and bypass them: "You shall not provoke them, for I will not give you of their land...because I have given Mount Seir to ...
2
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1answer
61 views

Is there a mitzvah to honor the bechor?

I have heard that the mitzvah to honor ones parents includes a commandment to honor one's oldest brother. Is this really the case?
4
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1answer
63 views

Is the mitzvah to honor the bechor d'oraisa or d'raban?

I see in the answer to this question that the mitzvah to honor one's mother and father includes an obligation to honor one's oldest brother. This idea is originally referenced in Ketubot 103a. Is this ...
1
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0answers
40 views

Why does the Torah not include a specific command to love one's parents?

This related M.Y. answer explains that there is no specific mitzvah to love one's parents and the concept is incorporated in the mitzvah of loving one's fellow. There is a mitzvah to love the convert,...
1
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1answer
63 views

Is shunning/Herem against a parent considered acceptable if it prevents you from dishonoring them through further confrontation?

This question is pretty straightforward but I'll and explain it in a more detailed way. A Jewish man has a mother who is abusive. She is abusive in such a way that she creates confrontations with him....
5
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0answers
76 views

May one install a web cam to check in on an elderly parent?

With a friend, I discussed the idea of installing a web cam to check in on an elderly parent who lives in her apartment alone and is serviced by a Gentile aid. The children are concerned that the aid ...
2
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0answers
103 views

Getting a parking ticket in order to help a parent

My mother asks me to help her carry in some stuff into her apartment. I can't find a legal parking spot. Does the mitzvah of kibud av vi'eim require that I double park and take a chance at getting a $...
1
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1answer
53 views

What do commentaries say about the different version of “Honor Thy Parents”?

Regarding the mitzva of Honor Thy Father and Mother, the reading of the Aseret Hadibrot in V'etchanan is slightly different than the previous reading in Yitro. The words "because God has commanded ...
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1answer
92 views

Esau honored his father; why didn't he honor God?

According to the Rambam (according to Aish), the reason that the commandment to "Honor Parents" is included in the first group of the Aseret Hadibrot (Ten Commandments) is because the child-parent ...
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3answers
57 views

Are there mitzvot in the Torah that include an explicit reason?

I was watching the video on "Honor Thy Father and Mother" from Dennis Prager's video series on the Ten Commandments. In the video (at 8 seconds in) Prager claims that the mitzva of honoring parents ...
10
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3answers
374 views

In regards to Torah and Rabbinical writings, how does “honor your father and mother” work when you've been raised in an abusive household?

This is a question I have always had a hard time getting an answer for and I was hoping somebody would be able to explain it. Honoring your parents is one of the most basic mitzvah in all of Judaism....
3
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0answers
113 views

Visiting a sick parent who doesn't want visitors

If one's parent is ill, one would probably want to visit. It is, it seems, some level of mitzvah (though it isn't explicitly on the Rambam's list of 613, it is included under some other general ...
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2answers
105 views

Minyan vs. Kibbud Av V'em

What if your parents don't want you Davening with a Minyan for whatever reason. Is it permissible to go Daven with the Minyan without their permission?
2
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1answer
250 views

Is it permitted for a parent to turn down a potential match for their child without the child knowing?

In Yoreh Deah 240:25 says the following, אִם הָאָב רוֹצֶה לְשָׁרֵת אֶת הַבֵּן, מֻתָּר לְקַבֵּל מִמֶּנּוּ אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן הָאָב בֶּן תּוֹרָה. תַּלְמִיד שֶׁרוֹצֶה לָלֶכֶת לְמָקוֹם אַחֵר, שֶׁהוּא ...
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0answers
51 views

Kibbud Av V'Eim versus Prevention of a Mitzvah

The Mishnah (BM 32a) says that one may not listen to his father if the father tells the son to do something prohibited, such as becoming tamei by entering a cemetery. The Gemara derived this from the ...
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0answers
43 views

Giving haircut to parent [duplicate]

Is there a problem with a child giving his/her father or mother a haircut from the aspect of kibud av v'eim? Is there also a concern that one might "nick" the skin in the process and cause a wound?
3
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1answer
107 views

Empty seat at the head of the table after the parent is dead

My mother, grandmother and aunts had a rule that no one was allowed to sit in the seat at the head of the table that was previously occupied by their (now) deceased husbands. They said that this was ...
1
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1answer
51 views

Must one give his father the head of the table?

If your father is a guest in your home for a meal (ex. Sabbath) are you under duty to give him the head of the table due to the commandment of honoring your father?
3
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2answers
382 views

Honoring a parent vs. Shalom Bayit - which has priority?

Let's say one has an emotionally abusive parent. When the parent visits someone, she is emotionally abusive to her son and daughter in law. The abuse is so harsh that it affects Shalom Bayit in the ...
2
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1answer
115 views

How should you react when being scolded by a parent? [duplicate]

I read in Sefer Hachinuch mitzva 338 that a Jew is obligated to not be as a stone when he is getting degraded. But does this still stand by a parent whom you have to respect? What should you do if ...
5
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1answer
125 views

Visiting Deceased Loved Ones

Is it a mitzvah of some sort to visit the grave-sites of parents or other close relatives at the cemetery (as opposed to it being primarily sentimental/emotional in nature)? To what extent must one go ...
3
votes
2answers
198 views

The 5th Commandment - Who should be financially supported first - children or parents?

During a recent Pirkei Avot shi'ur in my synagogue, our rabbi discussed two concepts. Jewish Virtual Library citing of Talmud, Tractate Kiddushin 31B Our Rabbis taught: What is "revere" and what ...
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1answer
101 views

Who's more important parent: father or mother? [closed]

Whom should child love, respect, and care for more and why? Or, should he equally love both parents?
2
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1answer
44 views

If parents need food and clothing, which parent to care for first? [duplicate]

If both mother and father ask for food and clothing, whom should I give them to first? I heard that mother should be cared first but anyone else knows?
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2answers
102 views

Are there any examples of mother having priority over father?

Are there any cases in which mother takes precedence over father?
3
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2answers
152 views

If parents fight, whom should child side with?

If mother and father fight with each other (whether physically or verbally), whom should child side with?
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4answers
163 views

Why prefer the father to the mother?

"A father can protest that his son not say Kaddish for his mother, because the father's honor comes first (Darchei Moshe 376)." http://dafyomi.co.il/erchin/halachah/er-hl-025.htm "Question (an ...
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1answer
79 views

Honor your Father and your Mother?

I heard a Rabbi at the Central Synagogue in New York say that honoring your parents was not just to agree with them but to understand them. How does the halacha deal with parents who are very angry ...
6
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2answers
174 views

What is the obligation of respecting parents

Is respecting parents doing what they want (hint) or doing what they command (ask for) Does a son have an obligation to find/figure out what the father wants him to do? Or can he just simply do what ...
2
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4answers
114 views

Kibud av VS midas hasidus what wins

I understand that if the father commands to go against the torah there is no obligation to listen to him, But what if it is against midas chasidus (e.g. he is commanding his son to take a gift (...
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2answers
121 views

What does it mean that learning torah is greater then respecting parents

In the shulchan aruch yora daiya 140.13 it says: תַּלְמוּד תּוֹרָה גָּדוֹל מִכְּבוֹד אָב וָאֵם. Talmud Torah is greater then respecting the father and mother What does this mean practically? ...
4
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1answer
343 views

Amount of respect from daughter in law to her father in law

1. If the father commands his son to tell his (the son's) wife to do something, does the son have a mitzvah to listen if it is not against the torah? (Since I see that mitzvah is also to listen to ...
4
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2answers
111 views

Can someone stop being supported by his father without his father's permission?

From the shulchan aruch (yora deya 240.5 end) אֲבָל חַיָּב לְכַבְּדוֹ בְּגוּפוֹ, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁמִּתּוֹךְ כָּךְ בָּטֵל מִמְּלַאכְתּוֹ, וְיִצְטָרֵךְ לְחַזֵּר עַל הַפְּתָחִים. וְדַוְקָא דְּאִית ...
3
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3answers
117 views

Kibbud Av v'Eim Seforim

Would anyone know of an English sefer on Kibbud Av v'Eim which Has a mix of Halacha and Mussar ?
3
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2answers
466 views

a girl marrying against her parents wishes

i understand that a man can marry a girl against his parents wishes Shulchan_Arukh, Yoreh De'ah 240 25 הַגָּה: וְכֵן אִם הָאָב מוֹחֶה בַּבֵּן לִשָּׂא אֵיזוֹ אִשָּׁה שֶׁיַּחְפֹּץ בָּהּ הַבֵּן, אֵין ...
5
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1answer
94 views

Can someone give their parents mussar?

Does giving parents mussar go against kabed es avicha vas ameicha?
5
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1answer
66 views

Under what conditions must one rise for his parents?

Is it enough to rise when a parent enters the building or must you rise every time he/she enters your room or passes by your room. I am interested to know customs for both sefardim and Ashkenazim as ...
4
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0answers
66 views

Respecting or using your father

In shulchan aruch yora daiya 240.6 היה צריך על שום דבר בעיר ויודע שישלימו חפצו בשביל אביו אע"פ שיודע שגם כן יעשו בשבילו לא יאמר עשו לי דבר פלוני בשבילי אלא יאמר עשו בשביל אבא כדי לתלות הכבוד באביו: ...
4
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1answer
442 views

Is One Obligated to Honor Parents if it Involves a Loss of Income?

One is not obligated to pay for items in order to honor parents since the obligation is "mishel av" - from the parents assets. However, is a child obligated to service / nurse a parent if that ...
7
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1answer
107 views

Not passing up a mitzvah: putting away laundry at a parent's behest: closest pile first?

My kid asked: I know there's a general rule of en maavirin al hamtizvos, we don't pass over a mitzva. For example, in mishnayos Yoma, the kohanim don't pass over the nearest blood basin to put ...
11
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1answer
306 views

Addressing mother as teacher

Children are not supposed to call their parents by their first name because it implies a casual rather than respectful relationship. My daughter attends the school where my wife is a teacher. The ...
10
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2answers
281 views

Correcting one's father or one's rav when he is leyning

The Shulchan Arukh (YD 240:2) rules that one is never allowed to contradict one's father in his presence, and that when it comes to one's rav (or one's father if he is a Torah scholar; YD 242:1-2), ...
9
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1answer
156 views

A father Changing a minhag - any impact on a grown child?

I was reading some questions about changing minhagim and I began to wonder -- if I took on my father's minhagim when I grew, and then, later, he changed a minhag because he learned something new, or ...
7
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4answers
264 views

Siding with your father in an argument between parents

According to the laws of respecting your parents, a child may not tell his parent that he/she is wrong. (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah 240:2) Now, if both father and mother are arguing about something ...
5
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2answers
152 views

Why are the laws of honoring parents in Hilchos Mamrim?

The Rambam places the laws of honoring parents in Hilchos Mamrim (5th and 6th chapters). Why there? What does כיבוד אב ואם have to do with Beis Din?
6
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1answer
278 views

Parents who don't want children to take ma'aser from gift

Suppose a non-observant parent gives a (monetary) gift to his/her adult child, but asks that the child not remove 10% to give for tzedaka ("Your mother and I saved this money for you, not for other ...
2
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1answer
248 views

Saying Kaddish Yatom with Permission from Living Parents

If both of my parents are living and they give me a reshut to say kaddish yatom if there is no avel, however the rav wishes that I not say it due to possible issues of marit ayin, who do I follow? ...
3
votes
2answers
112 views

Asking forgiveness for failures in Kibbud Av V'Em

It is a well known saying that the Asseres HaDibros are divided into 5 and 5, with the first five Mitzvos between G-d and Man, and the next five between people. In that counting, Kibbud Av V'Em is ...