Questions tagged [kibbud-av-veim-honoring]

Honor thy Father and Mother

Filter by
Sorted by
Tagged with
27
votes
2answers
936 views

How does a son call up his father for an Aliyah?

Suppose a son is the Gabbai in a Shul and needs to call up his father for an aliyah (or his brother who is the son of his father). Does the son say his father's name? Does he say something else ...
20
votes
2answers
1k views

May (or should) a convert recite kaddish after his biological parents' deaths?

May (or should) a convert recite kaddish after his biological parents' deaths? I think the answer is that yes, he may do so out of respect for them (even though, in a strict halachic sense, he is no ...
20
votes
1answer
791 views

Is a convert obliged to honor his parents?

Is a convert obliged to honor his parents? I understand that a convert loses all halakhic relationship to his parents upon being "reborn." Therefore, does the mitzvah of kibud av va'eim still apply?
16
votes
1answer
292 views

Kibud Av v'Ach?

As I understand it there is an obligation (See Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 240:22) to honor an older brother similar to that of honoring one's father. Since the obligation to honor one's father can have ...
15
votes
2answers
299 views

Esav was coming with 400 men: why then

Why was Esav going toward Yaakov (Gen. 33:1, 32:7) if he had (27:41) planned to wait to kill him until Yitzchak was dead? (Please cite your source, if any.)
15
votes
1answer
308 views

Calling a father Abba, when his name is Abba

May a child call his father Abba - if his name is Abba?
14
votes
9answers
684 views

Why Didn't Yosef tell Yaakov He was Still Alive?

What do the meforshim say on why Yosef didn't tell Yaakov he was still alive? Do any critique him?
11
votes
1answer
306 views

Addressing mother as teacher

Children are not supposed to call their parents by their first name because it implies a casual rather than respectful relationship. My daughter attends the school where my wife is a teacher. The ...
10
votes
3answers
374 views

In regards to Torah and Rabbinical writings, how does “honor your father and mother” work when you've been raised in an abusive household?

This is a question I have always had a hard time getting an answer for and I was hoping somebody would be able to explain it. Honoring your parents is one of the most basic mitzvah in all of Judaism....
10
votes
2answers
281 views

Correcting one's father or one's rav when he is leyning

The Shulchan Arukh (YD 240:2) rules that one is never allowed to contradict one's father in his presence, and that when it comes to one's rav (or one's father if he is a Torah scholar; YD 242:1-2), ...
10
votes
3answers
535 views

Are a father and son allowed to learn martial arts together?

Can a father and son take karate or kung-fu lessons together if part of the training involves sparring? Is there a problem with the son hitting the father?
9
votes
4answers
350 views

No Bracha on Kibud Av Va'eim?

Why do we not make a Bracha (e.g. every morning) on the mitzvah of honoring one's parents?
9
votes
1answer
156 views

A father Changing a minhag - any impact on a grown child?

I was reading some questions about changing minhagim and I began to wonder -- if I took on my father's minhagim when I grew, and then, later, he changed a minhag because he learned something new, or ...
8
votes
4answers
367 views

What is the source for the idea that only two mitzvot have a specific reward associated with them?

I have heard it said that only the mitzvot of kibbud av v'eim (honoring parents) and shiluach haken (sending away the mother bird before taking eggs) are given with an explicit reward (that your days ...
8
votes
2answers
200 views

Respect: Parents and parents-in-law

Does the Respect required by the children for their parents is equally true for the parents-in-law ? I'm sure a son has to obey his father above his father-in-law if there is any disagreement between ...
8
votes
2answers
254 views

“There they buried Yitzchak” — not “my father”?

"What is awe" of a parent? asks Shulchan Aruch Yore Dea 240:2. It includes, SA answers, that one shall not call [his parent] by [the latter's] name, neither during [the parent]'s life, nor in his ...
8
votes
1answer
147 views

Is there Kibbud to grandparents after the parent is niftar?

Is there an obligation to give respect (in the form of physical provision) to a grandparent whose child, your parent, died? For example, if Ruvein has Shimon and Shimon has Levi, and Shimon dies, is ...
8
votes
2answers
204 views

Is it better to pray at a synagogue where you feel comfortable praying, or to go where your father prays?

This is a common problem with guys living near or with their parents. Do you fulfill Kibud Av Ve'aim and go to shul with your father, or is it preferred to pray at a place where you feel more ...
8
votes
1answer
477 views

Is a child forbidden from seeing old baby pictures/videos of their parents where the parents might be naked?

I forget the mekor (if anyone remembers that'd be great), but I remember learning that a child is not allowed to see their parent naked. Not a parent yet myself, but our generation has lots of family ...
7
votes
3answers
567 views

Dama ben Nesina and the red heifer

Kidushin 31a brings the story of Dama ben Nesina and his amazing Kibud Av V'Aim which cost him a huge fortune. He was rewarded for his amazing Kibud Av V'Aim by one of his cows giving birth to a red ...
7
votes
1answer
151 views

Is there a Mitzvah to love parents?

Is there a special mitzvah to love one's parents? If so, does it require the parent's awareness of that love?
7
votes
4answers
263 views

Honoring parental requests that don't benefit the parents

If one's parents ask him to do something that is not beneficial to the parents in any way whatsoever (though not harmful to the parents, the child, or anyone else, either), is he nonetheless obligated ...
7
votes
4answers
264 views

Siding with your father in an argument between parents

According to the laws of respecting your parents, a child may not tell his parent that he/she is wrong. (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah 240:2) Now, if both father and mother are arguing about something ...
7
votes
1answer
93 views

How could they call Yaakov by name?

Chazal in a few places (Pesachim 56a and Bereishis Rabbah 98:3 for example) say that Yaakov asked his twelve sons if any of them had turned rotten, or had a lapse in faith. They responded שמע ישראל ...
7
votes
2answers
237 views

Parents oppose a chumra

We know that if a parent wants his/her child to violate halacha, the law of Kibbud Av V'Eim does not apply. But what if the parent wants the child to not accept a chumra that the child feels very ...
7
votes
1answer
107 views

Not passing up a mitzvah: putting away laundry at a parent's behest: closest pile first?

My kid asked: I know there's a general rule of en maavirin al hamtizvos, we don't pass over a mitzva. For example, in mishnayos Yoma, the kohanim don't pass over the nearest blood basin to put ...
7
votes
1answer
247 views

Can a teen threaten or attack one parent, who is beating or is about to beat the other?

This is relevant in many dysfunctional Jewish homes. Suppose one parent is beating or about to beat the other, and the child has an opportunity to intervene by threatening violence to the abusive ...
7
votes
0answers
33 views

Distribution of כבוד אב between kids

Imagine a family of parents and 5 kids sitting at the Shabbos table and the father says - "I'm thirsty - bring me some water". All the kids are immediately obligated in כיבוד אב D'Oraysoh and the ...
6
votes
2answers
430 views

Formal Hebrew honorific for one's mother

Many men, when going up for an aliya, tell the gabbai their name as, e.g. "Reuven ben Rav Yaakov", even if "Yaakov," the father, isn't actually a Rabbi." I believe the reason for this practice is to ...
6
votes
1answer
338 views

Is a child obligated to honor his foster parents?

Is a child obligated to honor his foster parents? Does it matter if the child cannot locate his biological parents?
6
votes
1answer
278 views

Parents who don't want children to take ma'aser from gift

Suppose a non-observant parent gives a (monetary) gift to his/her adult child, but asks that the child not remove 10% to give for tzedaka ("Your mother and I saved this money for you, not for other ...
6
votes
2answers
174 views

What is the obligation of respecting parents

Is respecting parents doing what they want (hint) or doing what they command (ask for) Does a son have an obligation to find/figure out what the father wants him to do? Or can he just simply do what ...
6
votes
1answer
201 views

What do we think about Father's Day?

Is there anything wrong with celebrating Father's Day? (Perhaps implying that you only need to give your father special attention one day a year?) Is there anything right with celebrating Father's ...
6
votes
2answers
180 views

Honor of old people vs. honor of parents

Who has precedence in honor: A father or an old person? It seems that the answer would be a father; (*) however, there is a midrash that implies otherwise: Yalkut Shimoni, end of Bemidbar 752 ...
6
votes
0answers
235 views

Parent dying overseas - visit now or attend funeral?

A person lives far away from a dying parent and cannot afford more than one visit. What do the halachic sources say about when they should visit? Should they visit the parent immediately and miss the ...
5
votes
3answers
274 views

Have not gone to parents grave in seven years

A friend recently mentioned that she has not gone to her parents grave in over ten years due to its distance and when she wanted to go she was told by a Rabbi that if she has not been there for over ...
5
votes
2answers
113 views

How did Avraham refer to his father the Rambam in writing?

What term did Avraham ben haRambam use when referring to his father in his writings? (Compare to R' Ya'akov ben Asher (the Tur), referring to his father (the Rosh), as Adoni Avi or A"A.) Did he use a ...
5
votes
1answer
94 views

Can someone give their parents mussar?

Does giving parents mussar go against kabed es avicha vas ameicha?
5
votes
1answer
542 views

Why was Yaakov punished for not honoring his parents?

Bereshit 37:34 (translation by machon-mamre): וַיִּקְרַע יַעֲקֹב שִׂמְלֹתָיו, וַיָּשֶׂם שַׂק בְּמָתְנָיו; וַיִּתְאַבֵּל עַל-בְּנוֹ, יָמִים רַבִּים And Jacob rent his garments, and put ...
5
votes
1answer
107 views

Kibud Av Veim if parent(s) is an idolater

Suppose someone has a parent(or both) who, chas vshalom, became an idolater. Do their kids still have the obligation of Kibud Av Veim towards them?
5
votes
1answer
159 views

Referring to parent in third person

I have seen some homes where the children refer to the parent in third person as a sign of respect (Would Abba like to...). I'm curious to know if this practice is brought down in any sefer and if in ...
5
votes
1answer
127 views

Mamzer honoring his father - why wouldn't he?

The Shulhan 'Aruch (240:18) writes that a Mamzer has an obligation to honor his father. Why might I think otherwise?
5
votes
1answer
117 views

Is a convert's biological son obligated in "kibud av' (honoring his father)?

This is the reverse of this question, in a sense. Suppose that a Gentile intermarries and he has a son who is Jewish. Later, the Gentile converts. Is the biological son ever halachically obligated to ...
5
votes
1answer
125 views

Visiting Deceased Loved Ones

Is it a mitzvah of some sort to visit the grave-sites of parents or other close relatives at the cemetery (as opposed to it being primarily sentimental/emotional in nature)? To what extent must one go ...
5
votes
2answers
151 views

Why are the laws of honoring parents in Hilchos Mamrim?

The Rambam places the laws of honoring parents in Hilchos Mamrim (5th and 6th chapters). Why there? What does כיבוד אב ואם have to do with Beis Din?
5
votes
1answer
66 views

Under what conditions must one rise for his parents?

Is it enough to rise when a parent enters the building or must you rise every time he/she enters your room or passes by your room. I am interested to know customs for both sefardim and Ashkenazim as ...
5
votes
0answers
38 views

As the מזמן, should I say “ברשות אבי מורי” before “סבי מורי” or the other way around?

When eating with my parents at my my grandparents' (father's parents) house, if I am asked to be מזמן, should I say “ברשות אבי מורי וסבי מורי„ or “ברושת סבי מורי ואבי מורי„?
5
votes
0answers
76 views

May one install a web cam to check in on an elderly parent?

With a friend, I discussed the idea of installing a web cam to check in on an elderly parent who lives in her apartment alone and is serviced by a Gentile aid. The children are concerned that the aid ...
5
votes
2answers
116 views

Why a married woman is exempt from honoring her parents?

Although the wife should listen to the husband and make her best to please him, it is not a Mitzvah at all, and there are no DeOraytah obligations on the wife toward her husband (Rambam Ishut 22-24). ...
4
votes
2answers
673 views

Are there situations where a child is permitted to refer to their parent by their first name?

(This question addresses the prohibition of referring to your parents by their first name) Other than emergency situations (medical, hospital etc) are there instances where a child is permitted to ...